Hard Hearted
by counselor
Summary: 1946. The boys are home from the war. Eddie meets Isbe at the movies. Close dancing in a smoky club leads to love. Same night Eddie hooks up with the Irish mob. Love is thawing his hard heart, the same one needed for survival in his new and violent world. Isbe vows to stand by but Eddie likes it on the edge. When a four-leaf-clover isn't enough, can love prevail?
1. Chapter 1

Hard Hearted

Chapter One

He lay in the third story room, hands folded under his head. It was a twin sized bed, and there was a ceiling fan and he thought it didn't do shit but when he pulled the chain on it and shut it down he couldn't breathe at all then.

And in a maudlin way he liked the shadows the long brown metal blades threw across his ceiling, streaks, coming through like trains, silently flashing past.

He couldn't make them go away…the memories…so he quit trying, they were his bastards, unwanted children…no denying they were his.

He'd lost his seventy dollar paycheck at the track night before. He'd had a hell of a time doing it though. His knuckles were swollen and sore, he didn't remember particulars but him and Emmie had gotten in to it with those guys…cause Jasper…even now he laughed, breaking the silence. That damn Jasper.

This hot July evening he thought of that girl he'd taken in France, and how thick her body was and how she'd breathed through an open mouth and he'd only saw one tit and a fat rosy nipple and he'd come like a man with no future and if you wondered about that, you'd never been desperate.

Now he heard yelling from the street below, but he didn't check it out. Since the war, he didn't feel the need to be curious. Anything got too close, then he'd act. Squash it. Cause nothing that happened here compared to what had happened over there, and he wasn't afraid of anything…real.

He moved his head and looked at the clock on the nightstand. He needed to roll to meet Em and Jasper in time for the movie. He didn't know why he'd said yes like a teenager. He was twenty-four, two years of marching over Europe under General Omar Bradley were behind him.

He wasn't a kid. But he wanted air conditioning…and popcorn. And after that, a steak and a cold beer and then they'd hear the deal, this job Em got for them. He'd see. Once he left the army he was done with being told what to do.

So he cleaned up some at the sink in his room. The common bath was down the hall and he pissed in the sink when he was drunk or just damn lazy like today.

But he washed up there and as soon as the cold splash hit his face he held the sides of the white porcelain bowl, water dripping off his nose. He huffed and felt shit move around in his head, the strafing, the boards piled on top of him…like that could stop it.

Hell no he wasn't going to sit around here. But a movie wasn't what he wanted either cause that was two hours of being trapped, more if they watched the double.

But he went. And Em stood outside the theatre smoking the last of his fag, wearing his suit pants and a white shirt, tie pulled loose, holding the jacket. They'd bought these suits in a southside bar, right off the truck, they didn't ask but gave their sizes, Jasper a 40, Em a 44, him a 42 jacket, and they were the same wheat color, nice made, summer weight, and anything not olive drab, they were good.

Em smiled when he saw Eddie, laughed like he had a joke. Beside him were two dames, Jasper with an arm around each. Eddie could tell they'd been fucked by every guy around this Chicago neighborhood. It was always there, a boldness, and a voice, even the eyes, and the hips, always there, the hole looking for the divining rod, backwards and hungry. That was it. He always knew.

"Took you long enough. We're going to miss the cartoons," Emmie groused, backhanding Eddie's shoulder. Unlike Em and Jasper, he wore his jacket. Like armor.

Em turned to get the tickets. Eddie's too. And Jasper, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, introduced the broads, Blondie one and Blondie two and they loved that, not even knowing the joke behind it, how they called all the easy broads that, one or two with the color of their hair thrown in.

"Hey gorgeous," Marlene Dietrich sidled up to Eddie, slipped her arm through his, her short yellow hair in rolled curls, breath like Clorets gum and cigarettes, black mole drawn one side of her mouth, thick make-up on her eyes, red lips staining a black plastic cigarette holder she held close to him.

The other looked about the same, right down to the mole on her cheek. That one was introducing this one, and who was he to turn down a pair of warm tits on his arm named Blondie?

Jasper and Em were carrying on, the baboon and the gorilla, hooting loudly enough to make his head ache. He didn't want their broads. They accused him of it all the time, taking their women, but he didn't want them, unless he did, then it wasn't his fault they went for him.

Em loaded up on food and he bummed two bucks off Jasper cause that idiot owed him twenty, and here he had a roll tonight and he paid for everything then gave Eddie the twenty.

The cartoons had just started and Em and Jasper ran to the middle, those girls toddling on their spike heels, and their plump asses, and they made people stand all along the aisle while they made their way to some vacant seats smack in the middle of the row.

Eddie held back, standing in the dark, smoking. He'd ditched his box of popcorn. No way he was getting caught in the crowd like that. He saw a woman sitting alone off to the side three rows up. There was an empty seat behind her, on the aisle.

He went there. He could see Em up ahead standing to look for him, but he stayed quiet and still and the broad pulled Em back down.

This girl in front of him was watching Em and Jasper and those girls. The cartoon played, but she was watching the guys. He could just see the side of her face, the curve of her cheek. Why was she alone?

She turned a little to the side as if she sensed someone staring. She had long dark hair and some of it hung over her seat and he smelled her shampoo and it was real nice…girl stuff.

He sat back then and finished his smoke. This was better. The cartoon was about a rabbit named Bugs Bunny and he could hear Emmie's laugh over the crowd's.

This girl in front of him, her shoulders shook with laughter but there was no sound. Then here came two more, they were loaded with snacks and drinks, and the big tits said, "Move Isbe," to her friend, the one in front of him, and she lifted up, that Isbe, and he saw it then, long wavy hair down her back, the curve at the waist, round at the hip, little, delicate, woman.

The two went past her, laughing, tripping some and got in their seats and Isbe dropped down and he swore a cloud of sweet girl surrounded him.

She stood again and faced him while she spread her jacket over the back of the seat and one of the sleeves bounced against his leg.

"Sorry," she said in a low voice, dark eyes flashing at him and a smile and she turned around and fell in her seat again and she said something to the little dark one next to her, and more eyes on him for just a flash and their heads together and giggles and grins, and he lit another smoke and watched them, he stared cause…shit.

He reached forward and felt the sleeve from her jacket that dangled near his leg…it was just a sleeve, but soft, and he imagined her wearing her heart there, and he pressed the material between his thumb and forefinger.

And she flicked her hair over her shoulder and one long tendril was over the seat again, lying along her jacket, and he reached enough to let it brush his fingers, just light and quick, he did that a few times like some sick mug.

Then he sat back and tried to watch the show but he watched her mostly, wondered about her…carefree, laughing easy, going through all the young girl things, whatever those were, he had little idea, like her breasts showing up…kissing a boyfriend for hours and not knowing he had anything below the waist…and all the while he was in Europe getting his cherry popped.

Then it hit him, popcorn, and he brushed off the first few, but they were trying to hit the girls in front of him, and they were short and it was raining on him.

He turned around, three guys back row, high school, Biff and Boff and Junior over there. He just gave them the look and they were talking about it amongst themselves.

But the girls had turned around, too. The blonde one said, "Cut it out punks."

The boys hee-hawed back, and he looked at that Isbe and she said, "You gonna save us Hero?" And she had a dimple.

He sat back and stared at her.

She was laughing with that little one next to her, and that one said he was cute.

He snorted. Cute. Shit.

And here came more popcorn, and the blonde one was turning around again, looking at him and throwing popcorn back at the rowdies.

The usher came and flashed his light and two older ladies got up and moved to the other side of the theatre. The boys told the usher to get fucked. They seemed to know him, and he threatened to bring the manager.

"Kick them out Riley," Blondie said. Riley gulped, and he kept his light on those boys and issued more threats, but as soon as he disappeared they started up again and he got out of his seat and he heard the girls saying, "He's getting up. He's doing it."

He walked past the row that separated him from the miscreants and he went behind them and leaned over the biggest one and said, "You throw anymore shit in their direction I'll twist your wrist so hard you won't play football again."

He said it softly. The guy looked at him and they stared for a few seconds. This one still had pudge in his cheeks and his top lip was sweating.

Then he walked back to his seat. No sooner did he sit than the little one beside Isbe climbed over her seat so quickly he could barely register what she was doing. She plopped next to him.

"Hey," she said.

He just raised his brows. These girls were crazy.

"Um…my friend Isbe up…right there…?" She pointed at the doll in front of him.

Isbe was turned around grinning at him.

"Turn around," tiny girl hissed.

Isbe turned around and laughed.

Blondie threw popcorn at her and said, "You guys are nuts."

"She wants to sit by you," little climber said.

"Oh yeah? What about you?" he said like he didn't know.

She gripped onto his arm and laughed, "You're cute."

"Hey," Isbe said standing up and moving around the end of her row to wait for the other girl to vacate her seat. That one stood up and skee-daddled out of there and Isbe tripped over his feet, ass almost in his face and he mentally bit a knuckle and she plopped into the seat beside him.

The rowdies started up, seeming upset that Isbe chose to sit by him, so he turned around to look at them and that quelled them, but he could feel it building in their little pricks.

She had her elbow on the armrest and they were close. She looked at his mouth, she did that, then back in his eyes and…damn girl.

"What's your name, Hero?" she said.

Blondie looked back and she was smirking and he couldn't care less.

"Hero," he said.

"I'm Isbe."

He nearly repeated that, but he was used to catching his words.

Then the movie started and he couldn't have told you what it was cause he felt this girl so strongly beside him, and not just that, but…it was normal…maybe so normal it was a joke…he was a joke…cause he wasn't one of those boys in the letter sweaters. Those were her kind.

Her little finger was touching his, on his leg. He looked there, her finger against his, looking for a yes, and what was he supposed to do? If he'd sat with Jasper, one of the blondies would be stroking his dick about now, but this little firecracker was stroking his pinkie. He needed to get up and go outside and wait for his buddies.

"How old are you?" she asked him and her hand covered his and they were looking at each other again and she was so young.

"Hundred and five," he said.

"Me too," she whispered, and her other hand reached up and she tapped him on the lips with her pointer finger, and then she stared there and he was stuck in the whole thing and then a piece of popcorn hit him on the cheek. He looked back there and those assholes were smiling big and staring at the screen.

What was he going to do, take it out on them? He could. But what would that do?

"I gotta go out," he said, and he gave Isbe a tight smile, and got the hell out of there. One of those boys said something, and he stopped quick, leaned over the big one, yanked the box of popcorn out of his hands and dumped it over his head. His friend said something and people turned around and said, "Pipe down," and the pimply usher was there, his flashlight trembling. It didn't matter now.

He went quick through the lobby and outside it was night and cooled off cause it had rained some and the storm was still rolling in the sky, thunder and cars splashing through the shine on the street.

He took a breath and the damp felt good in his lungs, they'd been dried up for so long, pulling hard in this city. He ran his hand through his hair, growing long after so many years. Everything felt…so different. Was he really here? For a few minutes in a theatre, in the dark, he had been…present.

Someone honked and his heart stuttered and he walked down the street for a bit and dug out his Camels and fumbled for the lighter in his jacket pocket, and he flipped that open and lit the smoke. His hand shook like his drunk uncle's used to, not because of what he'd done, that was nothing. But because of what he could have done…for nothing…to a kid….

He leaned against a building there and he took that first drag and thunked his head against the bricks, and closed his eyes.

He could blow this off, go back to his room…and what? He needed the work. He'd wait until Em was out and he'd make him say where to meet. He knew where it was but they wouldn't let him in by himself. You had to be spoken for and Em had connections.

He didn't want to eat with them, those broads, he didn't want to watch those red lips move and move with those thick black marks painted on…for beauty.

So he was stuck waiting there for Em and Jasper. Waiting and smoking.

"Mister?"

He opened his eyes and there she was, the little beauty from inside, high school Betty, heartbreaker. This girl had nerve following him out.

He was struck at how pretty she was. He just wanted to hear her talk then he'd scare her back inside.

She put her hands in her jacket's pockets.

He was smoking it down now, trying to be at ease. "What are you doing out here?"

She had on this tight skirt past her knees and bobby socks with those black and white shoes. She looked about sixteen. Or twelve. Cute as shit.

"You just checked me out. Like…up and down," she laughed a little. A twelve year old wouldn't say that. A sixteen year old might.

"Oh yeah? Raised in a barn," he said. "How old are you?"

"A hundred and five," she said leaning on the wall beside him.

He shrugged and pitched his smoke, "Mature."

"You been in the war," she said.

"Think so?"

"Yeah. Can I bum a cigarette?"

He reached in his pocket and brought out the nearly empty pack, shook one up and held this toward her and she took her little fingers and her not painted fingernails and pulled it free. She stuck it between her plump pink lips. He flicked the lighter open and she pulled in, letting out the smoke while she smiled at him. Damn.

"You sixteen?"

"Eighteen," she said. "I work for Ma Bell. Switchboard. I hate it," she sighed loudly before taking another pull. "Old ladies all wanting to fix me up with their sons."

She was lying but he played along. "You go with them? The sons?"

She laughed and it was cute, and he didn't want her…to go with the sons. "Sometimes. But…all the good ones have been gone…in the war. Except now…they've come home." She smiled again, took a drag and let it out laughing, "And the good ones…don't need help from their mamas."

He smiled at that. He surely didn't need his mother's help. Good thing. "You always leave before the movie is over?" he said.

"There were some boys…they threw popcorn at me," like he didn't know. "Is there anymore in my hair," she asked, wanting him to take a look he guessed, and he was quick to touch her then, his hand on her shoulder as she'd leaned forward.

Her shoulder was delicate just like he thought, and her hair was soft, but he knew that already. She was feminine, and he liked touching her…too much.

"You're good," he said.

She sighed and leaned back taking another drag. "I hate cowboys. The movie. Those boys…that was funny…what you did. You're like…Robert Mitchum or something."

He snorted. "Coffee?" he pointed across the street.

"I don't drink it," she said and he nodded.

"Right. High school girls don't drink coffee."

"Ma Bell, remember?"

"Right. A hundred and five."

"Your idea."

"Yeah. You better get back inside."

She pitched her smoke into the street and moved from the wall.

"I guess. But I'd rather hang with you."

"You do this with strange guys? You don't know me."

"Calling yourself strange, Hero?"

"Got a smart mouth."

She leaned her shoulder against the wall, tipping her head to rest against it as she swayed her hip back and forth a little.

"You were looking at my mouth…before."

He laughed now. "Shit, girl. You on a bet here or something?"

She thumbed toward the theatre, "With them? Rose and Alice? Nah. Nobody bets on a sure thing."

"Sure thing," he repeated, cause that was his language.

"I like you but…you're a little scary."

"I scare you?" He worked his sore knuckles.

She just smiled, saw the bruises and ran her fingers lightly over them. She scared him. What the hell was he doing talking to a dame like this? She had this kind of look and touch did flips in his stomach.

"What's your name?" she said.

Right on time they heard it, the whistle and the, "Yo, Eddie." Emmie McCarty could blow paint off the walls with that horn of his.

He heard Em say to Jasper, "He's got a broad."

He shook his head as he flatted on the wall. "Ignore that…him."

She laughed a little. "Healthy set of lungs."

"Hey…you want…?" he thumbed toward those guys. "You hungry? My buddies and me…we're going for some dinner…I mean…come with us."

She looked over her shoulder, gathering her jacket more tightly around her. "I don't know anyone."

"Hey," he held out his hand, "come with…."

She looked at his hand but she didn't take it and he let it drop. "What's the matter? You married?"

"No," she laughed.

"Come on…it's just some grub and a beer…."

"Those girls…. If Rose and Alice could come…I would."

He laughed, that blondie and the little climber? "No."

She laughed too. "Get rid of those girls and I'll get my friends. They're way better than those whores your guys are with. "

He shrugged. "You got some guts for a little girl. How you know those broads won't rip your hair out they find out you're moving on them?"

"They let your boys pick them up. We saw it when we were buying our tickets. Those girls wait outside the show and pick up soldiers. They do it every weekend. Tell your boys to get rid of them and we'll meet you around the block. You got a car?"

He could hardly keep up. "How old are you?" he asked again.

She stared at him. "I told you already."

"Give me the number," he said. They weren't going forward if she couldn't answer a simple question.

"Eighteen," she said. "We're all eighteen."

"You really work for Ma Bell?"

"Yeah," she said. "We're operators."

"Okay…operator. Get your girls. We'll pick you up. Green Buick."

He walked her back to the theater. Emmie had his eyes on her. Jasper was preoccupied with the two broads. It would be this way. Jasper had been lacing their Cokes from his flask. He stayed pickled as a rule.

Em eyed Isbe and whistled. Eddie pretended he wasn't annoyed. But the girl didn't scare easy, and if she did, it was over.

Isbe looked at them boldy and waved her fingers before going inside.

"C'mon," he said to Em. "Give me your keys."

"What? I'm driving."

"Give 'em to me."

Em dug in his pocket.

"Where is it?" Eddie asked.

"Around the corner," Em slurred.

Eddie ran lightly to the vehicle, the green beast that belonged to Em's uncle. He got in and started it up and drove it around to the front of the show. The four of them piled in the backseat and he hadn't even taken off before they were lip locked with those broads.

"Hey no fuckin' in here," he laughed, but they didn't hear or care. Normally he'd crank the radio and flip the mirror up, but he didn't do that now. He circled the block and those girls were just coming out of the theatre. Isbe must have had to twist their arms to get them to agree. Well it would be over soon. Even as he'd spied her, just a flash of her coming out of that theatre it was like she was burned on the backs of his eyelids. If he had a girl…like one you died for…lived for…she might be it. If such a thing….

Em was getting crazy, kicking the seat like he was raising over that broad. "No fuckin'," he yelled. Not yet anyway.

Second time around those girls were coming around the corner. He pulled to the curb and barely hit the horn. He heard Rose say, "That's a green Buick."

"Hey, hey," Eddie said, letting his arm fly as he whacked anyone he could reach. "Cut it out. There's some nice girls here want a ride."

He knew that blondie had figured it out. She was talking a mile a minute to the other two. He saw Isbe's face, that beautiful face looking in the car now, seeing the pile in the backseat, and looking to him and he shrugged.

"Get in," he called to the girls, but he meant her…Isbe.

They were arguing, and he saw Isbe's face, he was bent low so he could see her. "Come on."

"Not with them," Rose said. "Get out of here."

"Who's that?" Em said, finally coming up for air.

"These girls want to go with us," Eddie said.

"That's your broad," Jasper slurred. He was never so drunk he couldn't keep the chicks straight.

"What the hell's going on?" Blondie one said.

"Get rid of those sluts and we can take these," Eddie said.

"Not anymore," Jasper sang while Blondie two kept trying to turn his face toward hers so they could keep smooching.

Jasper cranked he door.

Em yelled, "Hey, shut that door. We got pussy here…."

"Pussy?" Blondie two said. "Don't be crude."

"Hey," Jasper yelled toward Isbe's gang.

Eddie had his hand over his mouth. Was he going to let her get away like this? He thought he would, leave it play out. But she was going to round that corner and then he'd lose her.

Jasper was out going after them, and Blondie two was out calling after him.

"Hey you in those jeans," Jasper called. Alice wore rolled up jeans. With his long legs Jasper caught up to them easy. Eddie moved the car slowly forward. He didn't think Isbe would retreat so quickly. She was disappointing him.

She stared at him while Jasper talked to the one called Alice, but that big one, Rose was yakking at him. She was pissed.

"What's going on?" Blondie one kept saying. "Get in the car," she was telling her friend.

"No. No. I ain't doing this. That guy had his hand up my dress and now he'd going after that broomstick?"

"We're gonna have steak," Blondie one said.

Em lunged for her again. "Drive," he said to Eddie, his hand between Blondie's legs.

She shoved him off. "You guys…you promised," she screeched at Emmie.

He put his hands up like she'd pulled a gun. "Calm down."

Blondie one wasn't calming. "We gonna have dinner and go dancing like you said?"

Em leaned back and closed his eyes. "Yes."

Eddie was trying not to laugh. He watched in the mirror and Blondie tried to push Em forward so she could dig out his wallet. Em heaved a sigh and pushed her hand out of the way and went for it himself. He threw ten dollars on her lap.

"Ten lousy dollars!" she screeched.

"I didn't have change," Em said.

She hit on him for that and he covered his head and laughed. Then she was pulled out of the car by her friend and they yelled their ways down the street.

Eddie put on some gas and the car moved, the back door still open wide. He pulled next to the girls where Jasper was still negotiating their surrender. Em had stayed quiet until they got close. "I'll take that one you had."

"The fuck you will," Eddie whispered. She was staring at him, and he saw her make up her mind.

She hit Alice on the arm. "Come on," she said. Then she walked towards the car and he leaned over and opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Hard Hearted 2

The girls approached the Buick, and Jasper stood sentry at the backdoor. Isbe said something to the other two over her shoulder and skipped around the front of the car.

Eddie said, "Hey…hey…," as Isbe came to his left, her breasts moving and she was all lit up. He liked the whole package but where the hell was she going?

To his right, Blondie steered that little one to the front seat.

Jasper said, "Nah…nah…," as Alice got in beside Eddie and big tits got in next.

Left again and Eddie tried to grab Isbe as she passed his window. She veered out of his long reach and damn near went in front of an oncoming car. It honked and Eddie got startled and that loosened his tongue and he flipped the bird and yelled, "Fuck you motherfucker," and the guy slowed down and Eddie could see him looking back and his mouth going. Normally he'd be out by now dragging that fucker from his car and beating his nose into the back of his head, but all that was forgotten when he watched Isbe get in the backseat next to Em.

Em was scooting over and saying, "Yeah baby, you got it right."

"That guy almost hit you," Eddie turned around and scolded her. But he wanted to say, what game you playing? Get your sweet ass up here by me where you belong. And then he wanted to punch Em's nose.

He knew the anger was rolling off him. Little Bits sat beside him, looking wide-eyed and a little scared, kind of leaning toward Blondie as she slammed the door.

Jasper was still holding the backdoor open, but leaning in now speaking to Sister, "Hey little girl come on now…."

And Alice looked all around like she didn't know what to do, cause Isbe and that Blondie ran the show.

Eddie adjusted the mirror to look right in Isbe's big brown betraying eyes. "What you doin'?" he said.

"She's doing the right thing, that's what," Em said, his gorilla-arm going around Isbe's delicate shoulders.

"Get up here, girl," Eddie said, more than he should. He didn't beg. He stared at her as he lit a smoke.

"Drive the car. Drive the car," Em said.

Isbe pushed Emmie's arm off of her and scooted right up to Eddie. "Ain't this what we do? You sit behind me…I sit behind you." She put her arms around his neck and giggled in his ear, and it gave him chills and damn this girl. She was a flirt and a half and she had no idea about him. She reached for his smoke and took a drag and then she held it between his lips and he took a drag, then she stole it back and did it all again.

"Is this a ducktail?" she said, rubbing her fingers in the back of his hair and he blinked to keep his eyes from rolling.

Em yelled Eddie's name and he looked in the sideview and pulled into traffic.

"How the hell…," Jasper drawled, and that said it all cause their situations had changed. "Me and you baby," he said to Emmie and he threw his arms around him, and kissed his ear.

"Not your damn tongue," Em groused, shoving Jasper off and wiping his ear on his shoulder.

Alice was looking back there and she squealed and bobbed up and down. Everyone laughed…but Eddie. He was looking in the rearview at the monkies, and at Isbe, wanting her closer and knowing her ass was too close to Em.

But she kept talking in his ear, and he felt her lips there. "Where we goin' hero?" Then she yelped and jumped a little and slapped at Em.

Em said, "Sorry baby girl. Sit back here. You don't want that chimpanzee."

"I'll pull over fucker," Eddie said to Em. Isbe tried to feed him the smoke but he shook his head a little. Not now.

Em grinned. He was mad he'd lost that Blondie that put out. Eddie knew, cause the Blondie they had now was gonna make him work for it. So getting at Isbe was getting at him and Em had that ugly side. He waved at Eddie, and flipped him off, all this in the mirror. But he better mean that wave, or he'd be sitting on that bird.

These dames didn't know who they were with, Em, Jasper and Eddie—gorilla, baboon, and chimp. That's what they called each other, and many variations like banana licker, red ass, and pee drinker. But those names and the behavior they were attached to would hopefully stay in the bottom drawer while they were trying to impress these girls.

Shit, had they lost it? Whores didn't mind, but real girls…what the hell had he been thinking to try this?

Eddie veered a little because Isbe was breathing in his ear pretty much and it was going straight to willy boy. That was his spot there on the neck. She was on it like she knew.

Isbe was suddenly yanked away and she squealed and laughed. Eddie was watching and he ran up on the car in front of him and slammed on the brakes because the light was red. They all yelled and more laughing, but Blondie told Eddie to look at the road. Then she jumped because Jasper had his hand between her seat and the door.

"Get your hands off…," Blondie yelled.

Jasper said, "It's gin, Mama." He was offering his flask.

Blondie took it, smelled it, and chugged it.

"Let her go," Eddie told Em because he had his hands all over Isbe now.

She was laughing cause he was doing his Frank Sinatra in her ear. Then he poked her side and said, "Ticklish?" And someone honked because the light had changed.

"Off," Isbe said, laughing and pushing at him. "I'd hate to burn you with my cigarette." She flicked ashes on him.

"Hey shit," Em laughed brushing at the ash.

"Drunk asshole," Eddie said as much to himself.

Blondie took another chug of Jasper's liquor.

"My kind of girl," Em said from the back.

"Don't count on it, Buster," Rose said, capping it up and handing it back to Jasper. "There's something between my legs AND my ears."

Em had this look on his face. "Your smart-mouth is outstanding," he said in mock-awe.

Alice piped up, "Guess I'll try some of that booze." No one had thought to offer.

Jasper flipped the cap and handed it to Alice. "Go easy little girl."

"Ain't you the good Boy Scout," Em praised Jasper, smacking him on the back.

Alice took a drink and coughed and shivered. "Gasoline," she said.

Everyone burst out laughing. Eddie too. What was with this chick?

Jasper had his hand on Alice's neck and he was sitting forward the way Isbe had been. "Come back here with me," he said and he got Alice under the arms and lifted her over the seat before she could have an opinion.

Blondie was watching and Jasper had her on his lap.

"Oh you fucker," Blondie said cause Jasper got her away from the hen.

And they all said, "Whoa."

"You say that again I might have to crawl up there on your lap, Mama," Em said. Emmie loved a foul-mouthed woman.

"You can crawl, big boy, but leave my lap out of it," Rose said, but she had a smile. "Come back up here," she said to Alice.

"I'm alright," Alice whispered and it was so enthused and sweet they all died laughing and Eddie accidently honked the horn.

Isbe seemed to like Alice being in the backseat with her. Now Eddie had nothing between him and the blonde and she was a looker but a manhater too and he was in no mood to protect his dick all night, and it was already settled who he wanted.

"Get up here," he said to Isbe in the mirror.

"Alice is the climber," she answered, and she batted those dark thick lashes and he moved around a little and sped up.

"Where we goin'?" he shouted over McCarty's big mouth.

"Shiney's," Em said.

"He got steak?" Jasper asked. "I could eat me a bear…or a poodle," he snickered, and Eddie saw him squeeze Alice and nuzzle his face in her short hair. She looked happy. It's like he'd pulled a lamb in to the lion's cage. But Blondie, she knew the score. He was counting on her to set the line. She was turned in the seat keeping an eye. She actually had reached over the seat to keep her hand on Alice.

"You poodle-biter," Em leaned over Isbe to say to Jasper. He said it low but Em's whisper was the same loud tone as everything else.

"Em," Eddie said all stern. He'd said that crude shit right in front of Isbe's face. "Get off her you damn gorilla."

Someone honked again.

"Watch the road Soldier," Rose barked.

"Relax Baby," Em said from the back, his arm around Isbe again, but more along the seat, his hand resting up there behind Jasper. "Eddie can drive a jeep with a full cup of coffee on his knee. He's his own kind of miracle, our Eddie. You like him? The girls go crazy for him. You wouldn't know it to look at his sour puss, but he's a real charmer you get a couple beers in him."

Eddie turned the radio on.

Em had said, "Hey little mama." Then he'd hooted. There was movement and Isbe plopped beside Eddie.

She'd raised that skirt to climb and she was smoothing it over her legs now and they were some gorgeous legs.

"Hi," she said to him, a little breathy and a white smile, and she laughed.

Relief. He hated to admit it. Why should he care? Because he's the one got these girls in this pig pen. He ought to get dibs for it.

Now he had Emmie's big head up here, between Isbe and Rose. "You girls like a good horn? Wait to you hear Shiney. And food... The Coloreds know how to live. You like to shake it Mama?"

Rose took her time looking at him. "The right man can get me going."

Em grabbed his chest. "Aw Baby you just pulled the pin and blew up my world."

Eddie could see Rose smiling. Gin.

Jasper kept hooting. Baboon. Alice had her fingers in her ears. Jasper passed the flask to Rose again. These guys were beasts.

Eddie took Isbe's hand. She didn't pull away. "What took you so long?" he said. Maybe she needed to explain herself.

She laughed and so did Rose. She had that flask again and she passed it to Isbe and she took a sip, and wincing she offered it to Eddie and he shook his head.

"Boys," Rose said low taking the flask and passing it back to Jasper.

"Girls," Jasper said, and Alice giggled.

"Yeah, man. Broads," Em said. "Ooh, I'm lonely back here. Wish I had me a girl…like I did…yeah baby girls, how about one of you two get back here with a hero from the U. S. army."

Isbe scooted closer to Eddie. He put his arm around her.

He heard Em whisper, "Shit," in his big fat whisper.

Rose turned to him. "You want a girl like you had? Maybe when we get to Shiney's, you can get you one. There's plenty of fat bottle blonde lushes in Chicago."

Ed flashed his eyes to the mirror. Em was dying with glee now. He hooted—like a happy gorilla.

"Those girls are horrible," Alice piped up. "We always see them at the Ritz. That one you were with," she said this to Jasper, "goes down on her knees sometimes, you can see her head disappear. She's so strange." Alice put her hand over her mouth when everyone laughed.

Em leaned forward and got close to Alice, "What do you think she's doing? Looking for dimes Pollyanna?" He had a big smile. Shit.

Alice giggled.

"What do you think she's doing?" Isbe asked Emmie.

"You're the ones who saw this. Maybe she's a Martian and while the movie plays she turns into a little green cheese lady and runs around doing Martian pee-pee on lady's shoes," Em said.

Alice was bent over laughing. Isbe lay on Rose and they joined in. Jasper kept passing the gin.

"You girls ever wondered how your shoes got wet?" Emmie went on.

Eddie turned the radio up. A guy was talking about a contest the station was sponsoring. You wrote in and requested a card and when it came you filled it out with the names of ten soldiers you'd kissed since they came home. When you returned the full card you were entered into a drawing. The winner won a new radio.

"We should do that," Alice said.

"Yeah baby. I'd change my name ten times for each one of you's," Em said. "I can kiss ten ways, Blondie baby. You believe me? You want to try me out?"

"No thanks." Her and Isbe laughed. "I've already seen your…skills."

Em sat forward again. Eddie could feel Em's excitement. He had enough of his own, but Em's was always big-assed.

"You seen my skills Mama? How many you count? You see me nibble on her lips…that's one. Then I gave her my tongue…you see that…?"

"Sit the hell back," Eddie said.

"Oh he's harmless," Isbe said.

"Just a little boy holding his wing-ding," Rose laughed, and Isbe did too. Eddie felt his balls twitch.

But Em liked it. Loved it. He had them talking about his dick. "Oh baby…you speak wing-ding. Yeah, he likes you."

"Em," Eddie said again, "Sit the fuck back."

"Little tense there Eddie?" Em said.

He was tense. He looked in the mirror and Jasper was going to town on innocent little Alice and she looked all in. They were necking up a storm and Blondie hadn't noticed she was having too much fun thinking of ways to use the nutcracker on Em while she tipped that flask again. And Isbe squeezed his leg.

Up ahead was the pink flashing sign, "Shiney's."


	3. Chapter 3

Isbe, pronounced Iz-bee

Thanks for reading and your kind words.

Hard Hearted 3

Shiney's Part One:

Em heard about Shiney's during the war. Billy drove a supply truck and he's the one who told Emmie about his uncle's joint. Shiney wore a white Fedora all year round and played the hell out of a horn or piano with a small band on stage.

The boys had come home to a few changes. Not that much was different, and that was a consolation after the devastation in Europe. But music was being shaken out again, and bebop bands were replacing the big orchestras that had taken the stage before the war. It was a new sound, less organized, unpredictable…like them.

They were starved for music. They heard next to none during the war, sometimes a little on the radio out of London, but nah, hardly any cause they practically lived outside for two years and spearheading the liberation of Europe wasn't harmonious with listening to Count Basey and his orchestra.

Their music was the grind of a tank and a half track, their M-14's and return fire, and bombs and shrapnel and endless strafing.

Their music was the grind of duty, of having a job to do and doing the job, and not complaining but getting it done.

They'd been to Shiney's a couple times a week since they'd been home this month and a half because this rundown, ramshackle joint was helping them make up for lost time. Musicians showed from all around to get the nod from Shiney. That nod meant they could sit in and play with the band—blues, jazz, swing, music of all kinds that was great for listening to while sitting at a table in that dark smoky room with your head close to some friendly and voluptuous dame, smoking and talking, her hand on your thigh under the table and your hand roaming.

Eddie had not yet had that complete experience, but he had observed it the way he'd watched a swinging barn door one night in Belgium because he'd seen something move in the shadowy depths. Morning proved it to be a horse.

He wondered if he was as off about the harmony he imagined the table sitters and dancers felt at Shiney's. Maybe tonight, Isbe fitting under his hands, pulled against him, he'd find out. He'd move with her when the blues took over, and they always did as the night got deep and the dance-floor filled with couples swaying in sweaty embraces while their parts fit together like love and marriage, a horse and carriage, and the world fell…the hell…away.

Eddie pulled the Buick into the already filled lot and killed the engine. His arm was still around Isbe. She felt perfect right there. He smiled at her and moved a little closer and pulled her in same time, in case she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted her to do it. And she did and her lips were so soft and sweet, the pearly gates to a really good time.

Best they cut the ice now cause once they got in the club the fig leaves were coming off.

Rose was already out, and Emmie. Rose prodded Alice and Jasper, and Em was on Eddie's ass again like the buck sergeant he was, yanking Eddie's door and telling him to fall out. "You see these wheels around here? Every bastard in Chicago was making time while we were getting our dicks shot at across the pond," Em said.

It did feel that way, like the guys who'd stayed behind had conquered…civilian life…and passed them by. Everyone said to hire vets, but what kind of jobs? Thirty-five cents an hour was shit. They'd all signed up for the thirteen weeks of unemployment the government allotted them while they got 're-oriented' and found jobs, but twenty-one dollars a month was cold-water room money, more, 'Brother can you spare a dime,' shit than anything.

And then there was the dumb shit he could only blame himself for. They did that job for Jasper's uncle and made that seventy apiece, but that was for a month of toil, and then Eddie lost his in one night. Not Em though, not Jasper, and if they had money, he did. Especially after…shit…and he remembered it now…those mouthies they'd beaten the hell up the night before, the men who'd been laid off by Jasper's uncle so they could steal their jobs and get their pay. Those two were sore about it, and he got that, but running their mouths and then waiting round the corner at the track with knives in their hands, they should of thought twice about that cause once they got beat, they got robbed of what they'd made at the track and yeah…they should of thought twice about it.

Well they'd all been two sheets to the wind. That very morning he'd picked part of someone's tooth out of his knuckle. It hurt his hand to think about it. But they'd got to swinging, the three monkeys, and it was mayhem at the zoo.

So here they were in their borrowed Buick, three punks, two of them drunk, Eddie about to be, and these three girls straight from the land of second chances, and them not a fucking thing to offer but this joint, a good time and a sloppy promise of dinner.

But Em didn't waste time. He got next to Rose, and her arms were folded under her breasts. "Feel that rhythm, Mama?"

Rose wore a black and white checked dress and a red belt and little black shoes without the socks Isbe and Alice wore. Rose had that glamorous look Em liked, but she played it down. She had it all under control and even tipsy she stared at him with her eyebrow raised.

Eddie got out and took off his jacket first thing and rolled one sleeve then the other on his white shirt while he waited for Isbe to put on some lipstick in the rearview, then scoot out beside him. She took his jacket and put it on the seat with hers, then reached up and unbuttoned one more button on his shirt. He had on a white undershirt of course, but she did that and looked up at him and whispered, "Live a little, Hero."

He laughed and kissed her again, quick cause Em was still ragging. He slammed that door, pocketed the keys and held her around the waist right off. Jasper ran to the porch carrying Alice who probably didn't weigh more than his duffel bag had. Alice squealed all the way.

Eddie got in two more smooches before they reached the porch. He pushed Isbe against the wall, just lightly, and kissed her again. She was so warm and smooth and he loved the way she let him do it, kiss her, handle her. She was open and easy with him, like a lover and not some girl he'd just met.

"Eddie," she said all breathy and his name sounded so good like that, like he'd just put his dick in her sweet spot. Then she reached up and wiped his lips with her thumb and he saw how he'd smeared her lipstick and he wiped at that with his thumb. Then he kissed her again because those lips needed to be kissed. God.

"You taste good," he whispered and her eyes were so dark and deep he fell head over heels right there.

"Get your ass in here," Em called.

He took hold of Isbe then, his arm around her. He had this weird feeling…happiness. He felt happy as they went through the screen-door, like with her he'd caught up…maybe.

It was hot and it was packed. Em was ahead gesturing and already yelling at Billy. He looked back at Eddie and gestured they should move forward, and man, into the sardine can they went, the music blaring, the smell of people's sweaty bodies, perfume cooking on high, Old Spice or Brylcreem or some shit, and food, spicy, pit-cooked, damn sign him up.

But he didn't like a crowd but it was easy to get out. He'd already knew the three ways. He always looked for those first for his 23 skiddo. But he was alive and he had this beautiful girl…all of a sudden…he had Isbe and he'd already had her lips, and he wanted every inch of every part…of her.

There was no damn table so they followed Emmie and the others into the kitchen. Em had Rose's hand, and she wasn't complaining and Little Bits was on Jasper's back now. It was hot as hell in the kitchen and they went straight through and Shiney had a picnic table out back, and Em asked if they had steaks tonight and the cook, Shiney's sister Glenda who loved to cook for Em, or just loved Em, said yes. So Em called out their fat order on the way outside, pouring on the charm.

Once the girls got seated, Em and Jasper went back in to get drinks. Eddie straddled the end of the bench one side of the table, and pulled Isbe between his legs. He had his arms around her. Alice stared off and touched her lips, and Rose put her head down on the checkered cloth and closed her eyes. "My head is spinning," Rose said.

"Mine too," Alice whispered grinning.

Eddie and Isbe laughed and she looked at him and he burrowed one hand under her hair to cradle the back of her head and the other he kept around her waist and he kissed her three times in a row.

She was butter. This girl would do anything if he wanted to take it. He wanted it, but should he take it? He was a nasty fucker and he could coax her out of it, he knew. But she didn't seem to have any more experience than Alice. Everything he did, like touch her and squeeze a little, or rub on her somewhere, kiss on her, she was right there and damn she melted in to him and her heart fluttered. He didn't even care about that steak. All he wanted was this crazy willowy wild dame.

He didn't know about Blondie, but his instinct told him she had some bad times in there, some hurts maybe. But this girl, his girl, she was past due and hot toward him, open. Those Mama's boys she'd been dating hadn't got it done is what he guessed…hoped. And that's where he had not lost ground. He knew how to please a woman. And this one drove him out of his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Hard Hearted 4

Shiney's, Part 2

"Holy macaroni," Alice breathed, leaning against the chipped porcelain sink, "these are men! These are men!"

A woman was laughing as she waited for Alice to move away so she could wash. "What did you want them to be, girl?" she said. "They sure are some fine pieces of man," she said soaping her hands. Like most of the women here, this woman was working her curves, wearing a swell tight green dress, high heels and stockings and jewelry. Alice looked like a kid next to her in her jeans and bobby socks.

Isbe and Rose were at the mirror trying to fix the damage from delicious greasy meat and salty crunchy fries and lots of beer and being manhandled and handling back and sweaty lust and jitter-bugging their brains out.

"Talk, Isbe," Rose said putting on the lipstick Isbe had thought to stick in her pocket just in case they'd picked up some cute guys at the show. They never had…until tonight…and jeepers, had they ever.

Isbe waited for the Negro woman to leave cause she didn't want to say it in front of a stranger, not that anyone in this place was a stranger now the way they'd all been carrying on on that dance floor. "I'm in love."

"No," Rose straightened, screwing the Island's Fire stick of red back into its tube. "That's the whiskey he's been pumping you full of."

"It's not," Isbe insisted. "You look at him? How…how did I land a man like him?"

"Are you cl…crazy?" Rose said, steadying herself against the wall. "He's lucky to get his battered hands on you. I don't trust that one. He's too quiet." Rose belched silently and nearly touched her newly painted lips. "And that Jasper…he's even quieter," she hiccupped, "than horn-toad. And handsy, Alice if you don't stop humping on him…what's the matter with you pumpkin? You go from never dating to shimmying all over this guy's peanut?"

Alice blushed red as a tomato. "I…he just…I never felt like with him…he's so…exciting."

"That's it. For once we get to do something besides work the board. For once we aren't going home on a Saturday night to wash and set our hair and do each other's nails. I want to live for once, don't you?" Isbe said with tears stinging her eyes.

Rose laughed. "Listen to you. You talk about him like he's some kind of movie star."

"He could be. He's the most handsome man I ever saw and he hasn't taken his eyes off of me, not even around all the women out there who…well he seems to want me."

"Why wouldn't he? You're putting out!" Rose laughed waving her hand.

"Finally," Isbe said, a little stung by Rose's opinion. "And it don't hurt to have some fun. I ain't doing anything below the waist."

Rose tipped her head back and laughed on that one. "You telling me nothing is happening below the waist? You forget I was married?"

Well no, none of them were likely to forget that.

"He's looking to score," she said to Isbe. "Your's too," she said to Alice. "You girls are going to have a big fight on your hands when we get back to the car. We aren't parking with these guys. I don't care how many steak dinners they buy. That slut was holding money when she got out of their car. I'll bet she was charging more than us."

"Rose…you were just out there doing the same thing. What are you getting on us for? I thought you were ready to date again," Isbe said.

"I said I was thinking about it. I didn't…I didn't want to rush."

"It's been a year, Rose," Alice whispered.

"It doesn't matter. You don't understand," and Rose turned to the sink and turned on the water to let it run over her hand.

Isbe looked at Alice. She was sobering up. Alice stuck her bottom lip out and smiled at Isbe. She pulled up her socks and smoothed the cuffs. She straightened up and adjusted the waist of her jeans and made sure her blouse was tucked in all around. "I sure wish I'd worn a skirt."

Isbe went to Rose and put her hand on her shoulder. "He'd want you to be happy," she said.

Rose's thick yellow hair had dropped around the sides of her face. She sniffed. "I know that."

"Maybe someone like Emmie is a good start…," Isbe said.

Rose sniffed again. "He's a dead end, Isbe. He's nothing like Garrett."

That was true. Garrett was a talker, but Emmie could chew him up and spit Garrett out and use his bones for toothpicks. But a dead end? Isbe had no idea, but in his own way, Garrett had been the dead end, and Emmie…Emmie was here.

"Just…just enjoy tonight. Use him. Use Emmie to get back in the water. He wants to be used. He deserves it," Isbe said, a big grin now.

Rose lifted her head and looked at Isbe. "Yeah," she whispered. "I could do that. I could use him."

They laughed. They hugged, all three of them.

"Whatever happens tonight, let's promise each other we won't give it up," Alice said.

She was so earnest, Rose and Isbe broke out laughing again.

"Deal," Rose said. "Isbe? We straight? We watch out for one another. You can bet they do."

"It's a deal," Isbe said. She wasn't a fool. "Let's just have fun…go crazy. But no baby-making tonight."

They laughed again.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"Where the hell are they?" Em asked downing the last of another long-necked bottle of beer.

"Impatient?" Jasper smirked.

"Look who's talking," Em said tapping his fingers on the table.

It was blues now. Shiney was singing, a story about how his daddy tried to kill him and he went for his gun.

"Daddy's goin' down," Em said making his hand a gun and firing.

"Here they come," Jasper said.

"Hey after…after…they got that motel down the road…you heeled?" Em said to Jasper.

Jasper leaned back in his chair, tipping a bottle to his lips. He smiled at Em and flickered his brows up and down. "We ain't sharing a room," he said.

"Then you're paying for two, fucker, you owe me. Back in the city I gave those pigs a ten."

"You get the Buick," Jasper said. "Ed gets a tree. He's good in the forest, fucks standing up," he said laughing.

Eddie was turning his bottle round and round while he watched Isbe coming toward him. She was the prettiest girl in here. To him she was hands down. Sweet and sexy, his favorite combination. Looked like the three of them had regrouped. He knew about regrouping. That's how you got strong, touching in with your squad, sharing the lay of the land, making a plan. They were fresh now, their faces shiny, their lips deepened red, their hair smoothed out, away from their faces. They'd done their recon and they were in charge.

He smiled at her. He liked to watch her move, no, he loved it. She'd danced with Rose, that's how it had started, those two tapping their toes, then out on the floor and swinging each other around like they'd done it for years, and probably had, in their apartments, to the radio, those girl things he'd thought before, learning how to move cause damn, that took practice and they were good at it, natural…but practiced. And see, he liked that. He liked her, those hips, that ass, little and round, perfect, just perfect, and her rack, her waist, he liked her throat, her long neck, her little ears even, and her face, eyes he could look into forever cause he was her hero…now. And he was going to enjoy this…her…being her hero…before he blew it.

He patted his leg. He wanted her right there now. He pushed her chair into the table and patted his leg again. She laughed and took the last step quick and sat that round little ass on him and his arms went around her and hers around him and that smile…damn. Just damn. She smelled so good, and her face was soft and cool from the water. She kissed him and he went in, took more, and it went all through her, he could feel it. Jasper was right, he could fuck standing up, he had, and with her, right here, he could fuck her right here.

Em kicked his leg and brought him back. He had literally flown out of here kissing Isbe.

"You guys ready for another round?" Em shouted, standing over them.

"Yeah," Eddie groused at him. Damn couldn't he see they were ready.

Em left, pulling Rose up out of the chair she'd just plopped onto. Jasper had Alice's chair pulled between his legs. They'd been in a lip-lock most of the night, even while they'd eaten their dinners out back.

Isbe liked to put things in his mouth, cigarettes, food, even the shots Jasper bought the table. Em watched, it turned that fucker on, and he had to run his mouth, but Eddie didn't care. He only cared about this chick, Isbe. He had this focus, he'd always had it. He'd see things others would miss. That's how he'd seen her, in the theatre, right away, her dark head, alone, he was always looking on the edges, the interesting, fascinating edges. That's how he saw the horse…in Belgium…that's how he saw the sniper's flash…on the edges.

She pulled him up and they walked a few feet and she came up close to him, right against him, and his hands slid around her, and he knew that part of her now, that little middle he could span, and he did all that, spanned her with his hands, locked her in his arms, and pulled her against his body and he wondered if she thought about what he had against her, because here, that's what it was all about, the real and raw, no body gasping in the corners, no rules hard to follow, just people here, what a church was supposed to be, but wasn't, the real and raw here, inside these worm-eaten boards. It's all he asked for. It's all he knew.

And his eyes were closed and he breathed through her hair and kissed her ear and he heard her groan. She tipped up her face and asked, "What are you doing to me?" and he touched his nose to hers, and dragged his lips across her cheek and kissed her neck, and then she returned the favor and he knew it would scratch her sweet mouth, but she didn't seem to mind, she licked him now, his salty rough neck and she kissed on that spot that made his hands go right to her ass and push her against him and Shiney sang deep about hunger and anger and holy shit he was glad he'd made it home…to this.


	5. Chapter 5

Hard Hearted 5

Shiney's Part Three

Isbe peeled Eddie's white shirt off and that left him in his undershirt. It was so damn hot in here, but it was raining again. If the music stopped long enough one musician jumped up to replace another and the instruments kept changing, too. In those brief seconds of silence you could hear the thunder crack and the downpour.

It was cooling off and the shutters over the windows were propped open and the rain came down in sheets outside the dark screens where the flying bugs did cling against the greasy black wire, and the smoke from a hundred and two cigarettes was layered over the dancers in the dim light, and they moved through it like a magic cloud had fallen through the ceiling. This was heaven.

Eddie loved the feel of Isbe peeling off his shirt. He wished she'd keep going, and he'd return the favor, damn he would, he'd die to get a look at her. But this peel led to Isbe, well all the girls at the table, seeing the tattoo peeking out from his short sleeve. And that led to Jasper and Em peeling off too cause they all had one, three soldiers holding their rifles, their outfits beneath on a curling ribbon, an American Flag in the background.

They were drunk when they got these tattoos, but they came out of a decision made two years earlier, when they were also drunk, but a decision that held nonetheless, made before Normandy…when they got home, they'd get marked…whoever survived…three soldiers.

The ones on their shoulders, the ones these girls had yet to see, were decided upon before they shipped out… when they were good monkies who didn't need caged.

But after, these ones on their arms, the three soldiers…there wasn't a cage that could hold them.

The girls were admiring of them, women always were, taken aback, then they'd stare and get creamy. You marked yourself like that, it got attention. A tattoo was a story, and a story in a story. It was for you…it was for someone else…but not the whole fucking world…unless you wanted it to be. God gave the palette, then you lived, and shit happened, and sometimes, you had to mark it down.

These girls…they were interested. They looked at each, but they touched the one on the arm of the guy they were with. Even Rose cause Em made his dance a little, flexing that bi-cep, that huge bi-cep he loved to display. Rose and Em were in a deep conversation now. Negotiations had begun. They'd be signing the peace treaty pretty soon. Maybe. She'd been keeping space between them on the dance floor, but less all the time. Em was bringing her in slow, but he knew how to keep her on the hook. The broad was game or she wouldn't be here. She seemed to have questions, but Em would have answers, she could count on him for that, and if he didn't he'd bullshit her in to thinking he did…if she could be bullshitted. But she was drunk…and yeah she was all heart. That's why she bitched him out like she did. She dug Em and she was mad at him for it. That was Eddie's plastered guess.

Glenda had come out of the kitchen to sing now and it was a soul wringing wail that went through you and stirred the sludge with a slow paddle, too many stories brought back from Europe, too many pieces of dirty laundry you weren't ready to shake out and put on the line.

Isbe kept him in the moment. She was amnesty…from the storm in his mind wanting to blow him away, back across the pond where they pushed through, pushed on, faster than their own supplies. He thought about that winter they had no cold weather gear. They stole what they needed from a German warehouse but they couldn't wear any of it outdoors for fear of being mistook and getting shot.

Come Easter, their winter supplies caught up to them, all the supplies they could no longer use. They were just glad it was spring.

When his memories caught up, he hoped it would be that way...things he could put in a trunk once and for all...because he'd moved on.

Isbe was like spring, warm and sweet. She held him here, like the music and the smoke, and he didn't know how long…he could stay. Hope just gave him more to lose, but he felt something good…here in heaven.

He had to watch it, pull back some. He was overwhelming her maybe, a couple of times. He could pretend it was all sex, and it was sex, it was definitely that, yeah the chimp was alive and banging on the cage…he wanted this girl…oblivion…but after that…the crash wouldn't be worth the rush. That's how she'd kill him…that's how he'd kill her…and she was too good. He wasn't ready for her and yet in that theatre…he'd gone right to her…back of her head…just that…and he'd gone.

They were back on the dancefloor. She pulled him there and he went, her slave. She moved her hands under his shirt. She splayed her hands on his back, near his belt. Shit. He laughed some thinking how crazy she was making him.

"What's funny?" she slurred, her head over his heart.

He kissed her temple. "You," he said.

One of her hands moved up to his tattoo. She fingered it a few times like she wanted to penetrate. She pulled back some then and sucked on her finger, "Your tattoo tastes like candy," she smiled. She put that wet finger on his lips and he kissed it. She was so damn deadly.

"I like your…everything," she laughed a little.

He pulled her head back down to his chest and rested his cheek top of her head. This girl. If she could hear herself in the morning she'd die. But right now…he couldn't get enough. Every little thing she said he was straining to hear it, leaning close, making her repeat it. He couldn't get enough of her.

"You're…," he breathed, letting his hands roam. The sober side told him to cut it out, stop treating her like a whore, but the other side, the louder voice said to press her against his dick and let her ride. He was going back and forth, more back because the bad guy was more fun.

"You're so sexy," she moaned, holding him tight.

He made her say it twice.

"You too baby," he said, and he meant it cause he was generous that way.

She lifted her head and there were tears in her eyes. "No…I mean like you're really, really beautiful."

He brushed the hair back from her sweaty gorgeous face. "Th…thanks," was all he could get out.

"I'd do it with you…but…we said we wouldn't," she said next.

"Do…it? Like…sex?"

She nodded, her eyes latched onto his, sincere and pure, her lashes so long and thick they curled.

"You think that's what I'm after?" he asked.

She nodded again, and he stopped moving his feet.

"Don't be mad," she whisper-slurred.

"I'm not mad, baby." He kept petting her. "But we're just having a good time, right?" The bastard in him told him to shut-up and not say what was coming next, "You're safe with me. You got that?"

She nodded, "I know."

"You…you ever done it before? Had sex?"

"No." So simple, so honest.

He smiled, and her eyes…soul…her eyes.

"I think I love you," she said, then she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

"What's the matter?" he asked through his haze. She loved him? "You gonna be sick, baby?"

She barely nodded and went kind of limp and he scooped her up and pushed through the drunk crowd that was slow to part and he got her outside on the porch, and she was moaning and her head was lolling and he got her on her feet and bent over the railing and he tried to hold her, and her stomach was on the rail and there went that steak and the fries…and probably the misguided notion she was in love, that probably made her gag more than the booze.

But he smoothed back her hair as she stayed bent there for a minute, and she didn't lean as much, and he made her a ponytail and held it back with his fingers, and he held her around the waist. "C'mon girl. We'll get you a 7-Up. That's right, lean on me…baby."

"Eddie?" she croaked, so pale even in the dark, "I know I'm disgusting…but…I do love you."

"Shhh," he said now as he helped her back toward the door. "You'll be alright girl. I'll take care of you."


	6. Chapter 6

Hard Hearted 6

Shiney's Part Four

"Drink up," Eddie said, holding the glass of soda to Isbe's lips.

She covered his hand with both of hers as she sipped. She took enough to fill a grasshopper, then pushed the glass away and licked her lips. He set the glass on the table and tried not to giggle like a puss.

She'd washed her face again, rinsed her mouth, and her hair was tied in a ponytail with some butcher's string he got from the kitchen and tied there himself, in a bow even. Isbe looked so young with her little ears sticking out, cutest ears he'd ever seen.

She kept smiling at him. "I guess I can't hold my liquor," she said softly.

"You want me to take you home?" It killed him to say it, but he would…if that's what she wanted. And he wanted her to think well of him, to think he was that generous even though he planned to talk her out of it if she wanted to go.

"No," she said quick. "I mean…is that what you want?"

"Don't matter to me," he lied, "if you're sick…."

"No. I'm not. I feel better now…I'm not sick."

"Relax. Just thought I'd offer…hero and all." He smiled before he took a big drink of his beer.

Her girlfriends had made sure she was fine and they'd pow-wowed again in the bathroom and shined her right up, other than the hair. He liked it loose, but he was just learning her face, counting her freckles, and even in this light…she had six.

Now Jasper and Alice were with them at the table. The Little Bit proved to be resilient. She was talking Jasper's arm off and her hair curled around her face cause it was humid in here still. But Jasper kept laughing and he had her on his lap.

"You're a thinker, aren't you?" Isbe said.

He laughed. "What makes you say dat?"

She pursed her lips and looked at him for a moment. "You're quiet. Like a thousand things are spinning around in there."

No, just six. "Come 'ere." He pulled her close and kissed her cheek. She didn't give him her lips. She was shy now that she'd been sick. Maybe sober.

After he kissed her she sighed and it made him grin.

Rose and Em were on the dance floor, didn't matter the song or the pace, they'd been doing the same entangled slow moves for nearly an hour, even when there was a crack between songs.

And Isbe was quiet in her chair, and Eddie had that pulled up close. Her head was on his shoulder and he had one arm around her and with the other hand he smoked or brought the bottle to his lips. He drank beer now, just a beer cause he didn't want to be so far ahead. He didn't need it anyway, he was quiet inside. They had that meeting at fourteen hundred hours with Em's uncle. He was eager to make some bread, but wondering what it would cost him to do it.

There was some guy on the guitar, and man he could play. He was singing about a bobby sox baby with a head full of nothing. Eddie leaned in to Isbe and asked her if she understood what he was singing, and she hit him on the leg. "You think that's me?"

He shrugged and she pretended to be put out with him and they laughed a little.

They'd been going crazy most the night, dancing like fools, messing around, but now…he was enjoying this…being with her…like this…he felt protective of her…when she got sick…he'd known how to take care of her…he'd wanted to, just like he told her.

The salt and pepper crowd had thinned some, but it was filling up again. Some guys came in, loud, three of them, fresh out of it, you could tell, just like he'd been…well last night at the track. These had been drinking, trolling for broads. They were loud and kicking up shit and looking to hit something.

He tightened his arm around Isbe. He was a lover right now, this minute. He'd dumped that popcorn earlier in the show, and that was all the heroics he wanted for one night. His hands were still sore from the race track free-for-all. And he didn't want to go in to that meeting with fresh bruises, like a punk. He didn't know why he was thinking all this anyway.

So he played with Isbe's ponytail, twirled it round and round, threaded his fingers through it, and started to twirl it again. He wanted to tease her some cause she was shy since she'd lost her supper. But she hadn't eaten much of it to begin with. She'd fed him more than herself and he was still stuffed.

He wondered if she remembered…the part about love…cause she'd repeated it so earnestly. Now that might have her shy. It was funny…it was sweet…it was fucked to say that…it intrigued him…and it worried him too…that she could feel that strongly. Sure she'd been drunk and sick…but that was the Quad 50, the big gun, and she'd aimed it right at him and fired.

"You look like an angel," he said. She needed it, and he needed to say it. He wasn't like this with dames, but she was different and it made him a sap.

She was getting all dewy-eyed. It scared him a little and he scrambled to find safe footing. "So what's it like working the switchboard? You been doin' that long?"

"Forever," she said, her head back on his shoulder. "How about you? You found work yet?"

He took a sip. What to say? "Work finds me. It always has," he said. "Where you live?"

"Southside. Duplex I grew up in. Alice rooms with me, Rose lives on the other side."

She owned property? Damn. And she looked all of sixteen. "You inherit it or something?"

She shrugged. "It belongs to my dad. He has a flat closer…to work. Once Mom died…he had a girlfriend…it's complicated."

"Go on," he said. He wanted to know.

"She was his girlfriend…before Mom died and…I didn't want her around. So…he married her a week after we buried Mom and they moved across town."

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen. I finished school and went to work for the phone company and met Alice. She didn't want to live with her parents anymore and she moved in with me. Then later, when the tenants moved…I knew Rose by then and she was looking for a place…so she moved in." Isbe took another sip her soda and toyed nervously with the glass. "That's my story…my blues, I guess. Wouldn't make much of a song unless it was about…being bored. What about you?"

He had a few sad stories, but he wasn't blue anymore than she seemed to be. "A room in a shithole downtown." It suited him fine, way better than how he'd had it. He had walls and a ceiling, a bed and running water, and the promise of heat come winter and he was alone. "It's temporary," he said.

He told himself there was nothing to be ashamed of, but this was the first time giving her a picture of his life and he saw it differently then. "He treat you bad…the old man?"

She looked away from him. "He had a temper. But…he's guilty…he leaves me alone."

He wanted more. He pointed with his bottle toward where Em clung onto Rose. "What's her story?"

"Rose? Um…she works…."

"I know that. She's got something sad…."

"Yeah. If she tells Emmie…he'll tell you I guess. If he doesn't…I will…later."

He looked at them again, Emmie's arms around her, and sometimes, he thought she was crying, and these songs weren't that sad.

Isbe shook her head a little. "I said later. I mean…if there is a later. I mean…oh god…I mean if we…see each other again."

Before he could get his tongue to form a reply, those guys came to the table. Inside Eddie cursed some. He didn't want them over here.

The tall one knew Jasper. They'd met overseas. "Well I'll be damned," Jasper was saying, and he reached his long arm and shook hands with that one. The guy was Jimbo, his friends Lorne and Vic. Like Jasper they'd been with one of the bastard outfits that cleaned up the debris once Eddie and Emmie's battalions had spear-headed through.

Yeah Eddie didn't care for this guy, but hell, he had a right to be here same as anyone. So he put up his hand and shook all around. Jasper introduced Alice and Isbe. Those boys were used to looking for girls. Hell, D-day two Eddie and his squad were looking soon as they could. Always looking. And these now, well Jimbo had his eyes on Isbe. Just a few seconds at a time, but again and again, and Em was there with Rose, and he introduced her and that pulled Jimbo's attention for a minute, but it seemed Isbe was more his type.

Rose said something to Em about, "powdering her nose," then walked off. Em called out for a beer, checked if anyone else wanted a drink, then he flipped a chair around and sat, seeming mellowed out from feeling up Rose so long on the dance floor.

So these boys got drinks and Jasper and Em told them to pull up chairs. There went Eddie's quiet spell with Isbe. He'd had enough of guys like these. Damn Em and Jasper for widening the circle.

Alice and Isbe stood to follow Rose, and Isbe put her hand on Eddie's shoulder to say good-bye, and he grabbed it and held it loose but firm so she had to slowly pull away. She laughed, and he looked after her, trouble was, Jimbo did too.

"Damn," Jimbo said, turning back to the table, eyes flashing to Eddie, "those your girls?"

Eddie didn't answer. Moog.

Emmie said, "They ain't our sisters."

That broke the tension the question brought. Everyone laughed. Jimbo rapped on the table and said it looked like a swinging place. "Where's the dames? Your girls dance?"

"Have to ask them," Jasper said.

That Jim-dick looked right at Eddie. "I'll do that."

The girls never came back. Eddie saw them walk out of the hallway, a damn fine sight, and they went right to the dance floor and Alice and Isbe danced together, and Rose stood there listening to the music and got asked right off by some boy looked about twelve, and she went to dancing with him like older women did with boys, about a foot of space. She'd been that way with Em at first, too.

Dick-bo got up, took a big swig of his beer, hiked his pants and went straight to the girls. His side-kick with the fire red hair followed him.

Alice was Jasper's problem, but he kept his eyes on Isbe and he saw the eager face on Dick. He talked some, laughed some, and she nodded and took his hands, and Alice went with that other one.

Eddie didn't like the look of it. That guy's hands were big on her, and he looked right at Eddie as he twirled her some and her heavy hair came right out of that string and it was swinging along with her now. Dick touched her back every time she spun around. Eddie knew men. And he was pissed off cause Dick-bo was loving this too much, and he pulled her in, hand on the small of her back so he could push her against him and feel her chest.

"Ed," Jasper yelled, "Lorne asked if you had another Camel."

"Why the hell not?" Eddie said to Jasper. He tossed the pack at Lorne, but not his lighter. Fuck him he wasn't a store.

Emmie was turned around looking at Rose. When he spun to the table to suck on his beer, he had this smile.

Eddie couldn't spend time thinking about that monkey, his eyes were on Isbe and the hands.

Someone kicked his chair.

"Ed," Emmie said, "you're bird-doggin'."

"What's it to you?" He didn't like the chair kicking. Sudden moves like that could get a man hurt.

"It's just a...," Em stopped when the other got up…the swarthy one. He went for Rose and Eddie almost shouted with glee. Now they'd see.

He pushed up as well and stalked his way to Isbe. He didn't ask if he could cut in, but she saw him and let go of Jimbo's paw and came right to Eddie and he didn't even look at that one as he took this girl and pulled her right against him and buried his smiling face in her hair.

Then he felt the tap on his shoulder, and it shouldn't be happening at all, and then it was firm.

"Hey buddy, you can't even ask?" Dick-bo said.

Eddie looked at him. "She's my girl," he said because he believed in mercy.

"Good for you buddy, I don't want to marry her, I just wanted a dance."

Eddie moved Isbe more into the center. Jasper was there now, talking to his man, telling him to calm down. The dick put his hands up and walked back to the table. Eddie never looked directly at any of it, but he was aware of all of it.

Isbe had this goofy smile. "You saved me," she said.

She was looking at him, and the smile moved into this sultry kind of look, and her eyes fell half closed, and her lips parted a little, and she stared at his mouth. The crooner up front sang, "Don't take my love, don't take it."

It was time to let little Isbe know he wanted those lips, so he moved in slow and he let it be soft and wet and he licked her a little. He moved his hand all the way up her back, and he took his time, erasing that other punk's handprints. He pressed her against him and he moved his lips over hers so there'd be no doubt. Soon as he let her breathe a little, she whispered, "I'm your girl?"

He laughed. "You done this…been somebody's girl?"

"Maybe…not." She laughed. "What about you…women…you had a bunch?"

Oh man. He was smiling and her eyes were burning into him. She had her head tilted and she was studying his face. "Look," she said, "I'm not stupid. You're…every girl in this place wishes she was me."

Now that did get him going. Much as he liked this he had an idea he needed to run. This babe…she hadn't been shy about what she felt…love…hero. She hadn't said the love thing since she got sober, but she hadn't taken it away either.

"You're my girl right now," he said, hoping she'd buy that, and he gave her his best smile, the one that always got him his way with birds. "I'm…used to living day to day."

She was thinking about it. He wanted her now. And he didn't want anyone else to have her, not while he was looking, not tonight.

What would that be like for her? Day by day. What girl would buy that?

"Alright," she said, but she was serious. "But…I want a beer now."

"You sure you're ready?" he asked because he wanted to keep dancing. He didn't want her going around Fuck-bo and he liked holding her and he wasn't sure she bought his day to day thing. He wasn't sure.

She led the way to the bar and he stared at her ass in that skirt…little bird. She was going to pay for her beer and he got up to her.

"I got that," he said. "Two," he told Billy.

"It's alright," she said. "Save it…for tomorrow's girl."

He put the money down, took both bottles and got her a glass. Then he led her out, through the kitchen to the picnic table in back with the awning over to keep off the rain. If the mosquitos weren't bad they could sit out here for a minute and maybe figure something out.

She had taken loose steps behind him, allowed him to yank her along, but she was dragging.

"You don't like me now?" he said before he sat and poured her beer.

She fell onto the bench beside him. "I like you."

He fished for a smoke, realized they were back inside.

"I can't tell when you're joking," she said. She tilted her head staring up at the awning that protected them from the rain pelting down on them like a thousand bullets.

"About what?"

"You said I was your girl. You're jealous then…you can't wait to get rid of me. Day to day? Who says something like that?"

He shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," she answered and she folded her arms over her chest.

"Isbe…look at me." He pushed her hair over her shoulder and smoothed it there. "I like you. What can I do?"

"Will I ever see you again…after tonight?"

He was tongue-tied. He wanted her. He didn't. He couldn't…let her go…or keep her.

She had the shiny eyes. "You know. How I feel."

"Baby…how can you mean that? We just met each other."

"It doesn't matter."

"What do you expect me to do…propose?"

She sat there looking at him, and his hard heart…it moved or something, and same time he grabbed for her she lunged at him and he went back some and caught them before they went off the bench onto the bricks, and before he could think she tore her mouth off of his and got on the table and pulled on him and he climbed up with her and got over her and half on top of her, and the beers and the glass went crashing and it was all out crazy then, him kissing her and against her, flying past all the bases, her moving and him cradled in between her legs, and one of her legs around him somehow, and he held her to him, his hands going crazy up and down her, to her ass and pulling her in to him and he bucked in to her, and she ripped her mouth away from his, her face turned to the side, her eyes closed and panting, "I can't breathe," she said, then she was back, her hands in his hair, holding his mouth to hers, not that he needed her help to put his tongue as far down her throat as he could and she was going wild under him, moaning and taking, and he pulled away this time, panting like a fool, "Isbe," he said, "slow down. Slow down a minute."

"Why? You don't want me?"

"No…I mean yes. I want you." He took her hand raised his hips and let her feel his dick. Then he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Am I just another one?" she asked, chest heaving, tears in her voice now.

He shook his head a little. His ears were filled with his own hammering heart.

"I want you," she said.

"Girl…you're coming at me…."

"I'll stick by you while you get it straightened out."

"Get what straightened out?"

"Your life," she said.

He laughed a little, but she didn't even smile. She put her hands on his face, and rubbed her thumbs against his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Right now. Perry Como's Prisoner of Love.

And thanks for reading and writing your wonderous-ness.

Hard Hearted 7

After Shiney's Part One:

"Hero," Isbe whispered on the picnic table in back of Shiney's, under the awning, in the rain, her thumbs on Eddie's lips.

Em's big horn was calling him. His loud footsteps came through the dark kitchen that had closed. "Ed, come on…we're movin' this party. Rose has a place."

Isbe and Eddie laughed now. "A place," Isbe whispered.

They'd soon thrown their jackets and shirts in the trunk and were piled in the Buick, headed for Rose's place. Isbe found some music on the radio. Eddie drove again, and everyone, even Em, was quiet.

Rose sat in front like before, Emmie in the seat behind her. Alice was between Em and Jasper. Her legs were in Jasper's lap and she looked to be asleep, her head on Emmie's shoulder.

Isbe was in front next to Eddie. When they first got in the Buick he told her, "Put your arms around me."

And she did, and she was pulled against him and she spent much of the ride just looking at him, and at first he kept smiling at her, but then he got used to it enough that he surrendered and let her look. But every now and then he'd smile at her and whisper, "Bobby-soxer."

She'd laugh. "You've got beard patches," she finally said low.

"Em calls them sand pits," he told her and she put her face against his shoulder and did that giggle he loved.

As soon as he got going enough on this dark two-lane, he put his arm around her and Perry Como crooned out Prisoner of Love and he'd escaped capture in Europe, only to come home to this…ambush…her. He'd been between her legs, and that had been when he'd surrendered, no, before that, maybe in that dark theatre…maybe there. And it felt like magic, in this damn car…her arms…the music, like they'd taken off into the air, and if they could keep going…they could get somewhere.

The song went on, and Isbe's arms were tight around him and he felt a wet patch growing on his undershirt, beneath Isbe's face. And the song…he hoped it was that…but it spoke about having no other…and being a prisoner of love, and damn, if it was possible for him to cry…maybe he was crying some inside. She wanted this. This was what she was asking for. She was that kind of dame…the kind that wanted it all. And his feet had barely touched American soil.

When the song went off, Isbe's hand went for the radio and she turned it off. From the backseat he heard Little Bits crying like someone ran over her dog. Jasper was laughing and comforting by turns and Eddie cringed a little for him. Blondie had her head against the window and her hankie out. Eddie glanced nervously in the mirror for Em but he was off to the side. He tightened his hold on Isbe cause she was sniffing and hadn't lifted her head. A damn funeral had descended.

They were near to the big lighted billboard though, the wonder of Chicago's backroads, this big-assed sign.

"Pull the fuck over," Em said, like a man that had the shits.

So Eddie got close to the sign and pulled over where many cars had been before him. The sign was near one of the plants that encircled this city like an advancing army. Like most, the big plant was lighted in an eerie way like a city from outer space.

This sign was about a dairy, a big flower with a cow's face in the middle dominating its center.

"I'm gonna climb that fucker," Em announced opening his door.

"The hell…?" Jasper said.

Rose's door popped open and she nearly spilled. Em took the same hand holding the hankie, "C'mon baby, lets' see the world."

Rose squeaked as he pulled her out, but she didn't resist. Pretty soon she was being pulled across the lot toward Daisy.

"What the fuck?" Jasper said, then a big breath and he laughed a little and there was lots of shifting around and his and Alice's heads disappeared.

"Alice just turned in to a green cheese lady," Eddie whispered to Isbe. She'd lifted her face and holy hell she'd gotten wrecked by that song.

"Can I turn it back on?" she asked him, meaning the radio.

"Sure baby," he cranked the key and music filled the car like a blanket they could move under. It was Perry Como again, singing Surrender. That sappy fuck. Eddie was afraid of it, this kind of look-a-broad-in-the-face-and-sing-about-all-the-cr ap-some-old-lady-in-rollers-was-feeling-while-she- danced-at-the-ironing-board-wearing-her-bathrobe.

At Shiney's there were things to do when the music grabbed you: get a drink, dance like a fool, smoke a fag, tell a story, take a piss, make some disgusting comment that put the guys on the floor or got your face slapped. But now…her eyes…damn…fig leaves were off, like he thought he wanted. But was he man enough…or woman enough? This was new…and shit.

She laid back, pulling him with her. Oh baby, he thought, all hesitation out the window.

He got over her, half on her, half balancing on the seat, a foot on the floor and he was too long so it took some maneuvering. She was patient…and beautiful…determined to offer…herself. Her chest rising and falling, her lips parted and…faith…in the way she looked at him…wanted him. She'd said that…she wanted him…and she knew…she knew he was a fucking fucker…fucked. She knew. And she wanted a ticket…to that ride. She was out of her mind.

He touched her face and kissed her sweet. Like always, she raised a little to meet him. He pulled back and they looked at one another and Perry was already starting up again.

His hand went to that little bird living in her throat, that little flutter there, and down the center of her chest, the creamy skin that showed modest and deadly. He touched the cleavage he'd caught a glimpse of now and then cause he was tall and he always, always looked down a broad's shirt if the opportunity showed cause he was twelve years old, but with her…yeah he looked and now he felt the full soft ripe cushiony thrill, and down the center of her flat stomach, to the skirt, the skirt, and he went over the first line of defense, the waistband, over he went cause that's what he did, but only half way…to the objective…the warm, wet, hill of victory where he longed to plant his flag. He stopped midway and dragged his fingers back up, same line of attack, same line…in retreat.

His senses were on high, bird-dogging as he moved his hand to the outer line of her body, her curvy, stacked little figure, and he looked from the path his hand took, back in to her eyes…and she was offering…herself…and he wasn't taking…not yet…he was adoring. Did she know? Could she feel it? Not just his touch…but what it was? He just might adore her.

She'd been blowing up his brain ever since she'd turned her head in that movie, this hair, that cheek, those lips, chasing Alice out of her seat…and on and on, everything about her…pulling.

Em hooted then. His alarm clock, always blaring into the moment. Sometimes it saved him. Sometimes, like now, it pissed him off. But there was a lot of shifting in the car then, as all four of them got up enough to see out the windshield, and there he was, way up, Rose beside him, both of them waving from a narrow deck right in front of Bossy.

"That fucker," Jasper said, and they all laughed.

"Look at Rose," Alice said soft. "Look at her, Isbe."

"I know," Isbe said. "I see."

She smiled at Eddie then. And the tears were happier now.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for your reviews. I read everyone, I look you all up so I have a sense of you…see if you're writing, I look at what you're reading. Hear about your families, your lives. Very touched you would read something I wrote, and take the time to let me know. It's humbling, it's wonderful.

This story is years in the making in the sense that I've been gifted the recollected experiences of several WWII veterans. In particular…one…92 year old, handsome, rugged man's man—my 'Eddie.' He shows me the pictures of himself and his guys and man oh man he was a heartbreaker. I have listened for years, well the years since he started to talk about it. And even still he is trusting me with more. So through Eddie, and Edward's skin (thank you Ms. Meyer), he comes to life, this soldier. I am basing the war stuff on what I've been told—from the horse's mouth—so to speak.

And Isbe and the girls…I feel I've known them too, pointy bras, elaborate hair, red lips, jitter buggers. Lion tamers. I have listened…and listened…and listened with all of my senses. And now it's time to get my hands in the clay….

Enjoy.

Hard Hearted 8

After Shiney's Two

"She's got a pool," Em came in the kitchen clapping his hands loudly. "Why didn't you say so Bisbee? You're a movie star."

He was changing Isbe's name. Eddie didn't like that. Her name was Isbe. Once Em got on a name like that…well they all did it. It was damn annoying.

"Her name's Isbe," Eddie corrected.

"Her name's Isabella," Rose said.

"Rose," Isbe rebuked her friend.

"Isabella?" What was she, some Italian queen?

"No shit," Em said. "Isabella what?"

"Swan," she said softly, looking at Eddie first, then away with her cheeks red as roses.

He hadn't even thought to ask, and he was speechless now cause it took forever to know all those things about a broad and he looked like a jack ass not knowing his girl's name.

Emmie whistled. "Isabella Swan. With a pool."

And she wasn't even impressed with herself. She could have said, "By the way, my name is Isabella Swan. And I have a pool."

Then he realized he hadn't really given her his formal handle either. He quickly stuck out his hand and said, "Edward Masen. Ah…no pool." In his building there was a communal tub down the hall with a big brown ring, but he left that out.

She took his hand and shook it gently. "Pleased to meet you soldier."

"That's Hero to you," he said, and the monkies hooted over that.

Then Emmie said, "Emmett McCarty…after my mother's younger brother who drowned after drinking a barrel of beer and swimming in the lake. It's a legacy I can only try to live up to."

Em shook Isbe's hand a little too heartily for Eddie's liking, so he broke Emmie's hold and said, "Go shake Rose's hand."

Em went into the living room calling for Rose.

"Got to ask a girl her name partner," Jasper drawled at him, munching a cookie Alice gave him.

He didn't favor that one with a look. "Just eat your cookies," he muttered.

He was looking at…Isabella, trying to see if she was hiding anything else. This girl. She was messing with his mind.

She'd said she had a duplex on the south side. It belonged to her dad, and the dad was a guilty fuck, not that she said fuck because she didn't say that. Nice girls didn't, and him and the guys needed to use it less, start to clean it up some. Before the war, they never would have used that in front of dames like these, but Rose had said it once, and that might have been their bad influence…well Em's for sure. That fucker.

But Isbe…she was quiet. She left stuff out. She told him she was a virgin. She told him she loved him…but forgot to mention her real name?

What else was she neglecting to mention? Oh, I have a Cadillac? I have a gold mine? I have Boardwalk and Park Place…a yacht on Lake Michigan?

"Skinny-dippin'!" Em declared returning to the kitchen. Rose was walking behind him carrying four unopened bottles of beer and a foil bag of potato chips.

"Um…I've got neighbors," Isbe laughed. "I grew up here."

"There's nothing but trees behind this house. They're far away on the sides, and baby we got stealth," Em said. He'd apparently been scouting out the lay of the place.

"No wonder we won the war," Rose laughed shaking her head and setting the bottles on the counter. "This one doesn't even need to sleep." She thumbed over her shoulder at Em then used the opener to pop the caps on the beers.

"C'mon babies. We'll go real quiet. C'mon Rose," Em said, a little kid, hurrying back outside in the dark. It wasn't raining anymore, and it was cooler. Maybe the girls didn't want to swim. They could speak for themselves.

"You want to?" Eddie asked Isbe. Frankly, the thought of a midnight swim with her…he was signing up for that detail and willing her to agree. She may keep things to herself, but he wasn't holding a grudge, especially if she put on her bathing suit.

She looked to the girls and Alice was putting on a pot of coffee, and Jasper leaned beside her. He'd just grabbed another cookie from the loaded plate Alice had filled. He drank down his snack with the bottle of beer Rose handed him.

"I don't want to get my hair wet," Rose was saying. "I already know Emmie's a dunker."

Eddie confirmed it. Em was a dunker, a splasher, an underwater pincher, and an underwater pants-er, and a dive on top of you and keep you under-er. But Eddie kept all that to himself.

Rose went to the door and argued with Em, trying to get a promise he wouldn't splash.

"I can't do that baby, can't promise. I can't control all those little droplets wanting to fly and land on your pretty…skin. I'm a man of my word mama. I can't promise."

"You are such a crazy man. You better keep those skivvies on," she said through the screen.

"I'd rather go in my skin, but I'm too much of a gentleman, mama," he answered.

"What's that?" Rose asked, surprised.

"That's King Kong, baby, oh wait, you mean my other Gorilla?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. That goof had no manners.

Apparently Rose had spied the tattoo on Em's back-the gorilla in the cunt cap. Rose squealed a little. "You guys," she said turning back to Eddie.

"Yeah we've all got 'em," Jasper said quietly to Alice.

"Got what?" Alice asked, pouring coffee.

Eddie reached over his shoulder and quickly gathered his shirt and pulled it over his head. He turned his shoulder so Isbe could see the chimp. Her eyes went to the chimp, and he looked and her eyes were going all over him too. She didn't seem disappointed. At all.

Smirking, he turned to give Alice a view.

Jasper said, "You'll see mine later. It's better than his."

Isbe had her hand over her mouth and she touched Eddie's shoulder. Her hand was warm and she dragged it down his bare back. "I don't see how it could be better," she said.

He caught a groan and cleared his throat.

"There he goes," Rose said and Eddie went to the door and looked over Rose's shoulder. Em ran to the pool in his underwear and jumped in and a splash rose up like Moby Dick had arrived.

"I'll go if you will," Rose said to Isbe.

"Don't you want to swim with the monkies?" Jasper asked Isbe.

"You guys going?"

"Not us," Alice said smiling sappily at Jasper. "We're sitting out front on the porch swing."

"Okay," Isbe sighed. "I guess I'll take a dip."

Eddie gave a silent hallelujah. Jasper could have that swing. He was going to see his girl in her suit.

Rose went next door to change. Isbe said she would be right back and he heard her feet on the stairs hurrying to the bedroom she'd already told him was up there.

He went to the small cork board she had on the wall over a little table with an attached chair. The phone sat on the table, and he looked closer at the dial and made note of the number. She was upstairs right over his head stripping off. She'd be naked about now.

He needed to stop molesting her in his mind. He was in her nice little kitchen for God sakes, with the doilies and nice shit like the salt and pepper collection on the shelves there. He was such a fuck.

Man she'd lose her mind if she saw all the dishes they broke overseas…all the beautiful things that turn into broken shit real fast and you see it for what it is then…temporary shit. Nothing to it at all. When people are dying…what's it matter…the shit people spend their lives fussing over? It went away so quick. Quick as life. Break a pot, see a buddy drop beside you…just so quick.

Nah, nah, not these thoughts right now…here. Just no.

To distract himself from the debris in his mind he straightened and looked over the many notes pinned on the board by the phone. Swing dance, Red Cross, call Timmy to mow lawn, the Cut and Curl….

For all the things that were pinned there, he saw one name in bold writing, Jacob Black, and a number written beneath. He didn't like it. There was no reason not to, it wasn't his business and all he knew this guy was her priest. He just wondered. She was so vague, leaving shit out. She said there was no one. She seemed to want him. He had no right in her business. She wasn't a frivolous person, not at all.

And this was a home. She knew how to make one, apparently. He went into the living room and sat on the broken in brown sofa. He hadn't been in a real home…where he was welcomed…and not invading, robbing and shooting up…in years. He pictured sitting here and watching the television with her sometime. He could do that. Couldn't he? Did Jacob Black do that? No. He had to let that go. But a normal guy would do that. Was Black normal, and all those sons, those mama's boys…were they better for her?

He saw a framed picture on the end table across the narrow room and he got up and went there. A little girl sat on a pony wearing a cowgirl hat, and a flowered dress, her chubby legs too short for the stirrups, and beside her stood a smiling woman who looked vaguely similar to Isbe now. Best guess was the dead mother.

This kid was Isbe, with the pigtails and no front teeth. "Sweet," he whispered. She was a doll. If there was any chance of hurting her, he needed to be a man and leave her alone. He carefully set the frame in its place.

He went outside then and sat and untied his wing tips, toed them off, then his socks. He stood and emptied his pockets on the table she had out there.

Then he undid his belt and stepped out of his pants. He folded them over a metal chair and she was coming out then. Rose was coming out the other side. She carried a couple of towels and she looked swell and Em's eyes would bug right out of his head…but this girl…his girl…for tonight…she had on a one piece suit that tied behind her neck. He tried not to gawk since she called him on that before, but she smiled and went on past, also holding towels.

"Look at you all grown up," he whispered, following those twitching hips. He resisted scooping her up. He took her arm instead, her bare, smooth, shapely arm, and he kissed her on her soft shoulder. She reached the pool, and giggled, and produced a swim cap and pulled it over her head and tucked her long hair.

Meanwhile he dove in the deeper end. It was freezing, and if there was any hint of drunkenness left in him, the water shocked him sober.

Rose had pinned her hair on her head and Em had her cornered on the shallow end, and he was telling her she could be in the movies cause he'd never seen a girl in any of the movies prettier than her.

Isbe stood on the side of the pool still tucking her hair and Eddie swam near her and looked up at her. She did not have a weak view, not from any angle. She was perfect.

"Get in here," he said impatient.

Isbe smiled, then walked to the deepest edge and neatly dove in. Beautiful.

She swam half the distance of the pool underwater then emerged.

Eddie went right to her. He quickly had his arms around her. He asked her what else she forgot to tell him.

She said, "My whole boring life story. You want a plate or just a sandwich?"

He had to think a minute. Normally a sandwich was more than he wanted from any dame he knew. But with Isbe, he'd like to hang around the table and sample the gravy at least. "A sandwich," he said.

"We call this tub of water a kidney," she said, "for reasons that are clear…especially if you see it from the window in my room."

"If that's an invite…the aerial view, the answer is yes." Her room had not even been in the brief tour she'd given them upon entering her house. He wanted to see it.

"I was answering your question about the pool," she reminded him.

"Yeah, carry on." He had an elbow up on the side now, the other arm around her, his fingers against the naked skin on her back. Hi-de-hi-hi-de-ho.

"Mom was in a car accident. She injured her lower back, her legs, her kidneys. She got a settlement and insisted on this pool. She thought it would make her well."

The gal in the picture. "Did it help?"

Isbe looked off, "You just wanted a sandwich, remember?" she said. She went underwater then, escaping his hold. She broke the surface, turned around and swam away, very little splashing for all her kicking. She was graceful. More athletic than he'd first realized.

He took off after her. "Hey Esther Williams."

But she pushed off the end of the pool and swam its length, and he was beside her, at first swimming easy, and she was digging in, and soon he was swimming hard to keep up.

Em joined in too and it got heated then, the three of them back and forth, back and forth and Isbe bowed out at some point and it was him and Em, back and forth, until Emmie quit, hanging on to the side gasping and he said to Eddie, "I gave it to you fucker."

Eddie turned onto his back and floated while he caught his breath. After a few seconds he said, "She's got neighbors," cause Em staying quiet when he won or lost anything was nearly impossible. "And I beat your ass. Take it like a man."

Isbe swam between them then, to Eddie, putting her arms around him. "My hero."

"Oh shit," Emmie said moving toward Rose. "I could have had him baby. I beat his ass all the time. If I hadn't been drinking…."

"Sure tiger," Rose said. She was sitting on the stairs in the shallow end smoking a cigarette. "I'm getting eaten alive out here. I'm going in."

She got up and climbed out of the pool, cigarette in hand.

"Whoa baby, I don't feel like such a loser now," Em said at the edge looking up at her.

Rose put the cigarette in her mouth as she tightened a towel around her hips. "You haven't exactly won anything…yet," she smirked. She walked the small distance to the house.

Em was out quick, snatching a towel off the chair and going after her.

They were alone. "You and me," Eddie said to Isbe, pulling her close and to his delight she wrapped her legs around him and held on to his shoulders and they were in their own little world, and water dripped down her chest to all the places he wanted so badly to see.

"Saw your picture in there…Annie Oakley," he said, pretending to be sweet.

"Oh yeah? That's me. Esther. Annie. Isabella."

"Yeah, you look like your mom."

"I look like my dad," she said less enthused.

"How come you don't have some guy hanging around here? You're beautiful, smart." She had a swimming pool for shit sake. Then it slipped out…like bad food…it ejected. "So who's Jacob Black?"

Some long seconds passed and he stared at her, at the droplets of water sitting fat on her skin, at the long slow drips that rolled. He stayed easy and calm but he was stupid to bring this guy up.

"He's a friend."

"Your friend?"

"Yes."

Why did she look so damn guilty?

"Is he your guy or something?"

She splashed him. "No."

"Yeah?" He was moving them around in the shallow end. "What about guys? There's three of you here. No boyfriends? No sons of the women you work with?"

"I told you right off…mama's boys. So what about you?"

"I'm just wondering. I saw that guy's name on that board in your kitchen. Little Timmy's too," he said that last part trying to be funny but Isbe didn't laugh.

"What are you looking for Eddie?"

Pretty soon she was going to figure him out. "I'm looking to get kissed," he said.

She kissed him then, and he found his feet real quick and stood and lifted her out of the water some and they kissed like that, not a first kiss, a familiar kiss now, they leapt right there and she gave it right back. He'd brought her heat in to him cause he had her by the ass and he grabbed her thighs, and talk about satisfying and exciting…touching her so slick and perfect, it came natural to him to pull her in tight. He literally felt the top of his head open like a gun turret while his brain fired to the moon. He was soaring.

But he was the one to think about it. "Isbe," he said breathing like he'd swam against Em again, "Girl…."

She eased back in his arms and put her feet on the pool's bottom, too. "I guess I can't blame the booze anymore. You'll probably not respect me…if you ever did."

"Hey," he said pushing a long strand of hair plastered against her face back toward the rubber cap that looked adorable on her with her little stick out ears. "It ain't like that. I know you're a good girl. I know…."

"And you're not so good?" she had raised one of her perfect brows, and she was smiling, thank God, cause no, he wasn't good.

"Hey, I'm a guy. We're supposed to be pigs, right?"

She laughed now and he dropped into the water, and there was her beautiful lower half and he pulled her to him and her hands went to his shoulders and he nuzzled her stomach and came back up, slicking his hair back with his hands, then putting his hands on her waist. He was laughing and so was she, and she broke away from him and swam to the deep end, and like a canon-ball, Emmie was back jumping over her head almost to the center of the pool.

Big splash. Eddie went under and swam below to where Isbe was. He bobbed up on the wall beside her, Emmie's waves still slapping at them.

"Ignore him," he said. "I do."

"Can he be ignored?"

"Takes practice," he said.

"I heard that lover boy," Em said. "Hey Isbe, what's black and white and red all over?"

"A newspaper," she said, proud.

"Bloody nun rolling down a hill," Eddie said.

"Both wrong," Em said floating on his back. "It's a sun-burned zebra."

"Bloody penguin," Rose said walking to the edge of the pool in her robe.

"Baby come back in," Em whined.

"I just brushed my hair," Rose said. "And you asked me to tell you when it was one. It is."

"Oh, hey, baby can I get dressed at your place?" Em said hurrying to the side and climbing out.

"I guess," Rose sighed. "But what kind of job do you interview for at two in the morning?"

"The kind that pays real money, darlin'," Em said toweling off. "Hey Eddie, we need to roll in ten." Em followed Rose through her back door.

"Ain't you gonna ask," Eddie said, moving close to Isbe.

She shrugged. "Do you want me to know?"

He didn't know how to answer. He didn't want her to know…he didn't know himself. Was it shady? Probably. She knew that. This girl wasn't stupid.

She was climbing out. He wolf whistled, like Emmie. He had to laugh after. She shook it a little on the top stairs, and she had a big smile. Then she pulled off that cap and her hair tumbled down her back and she bent over some and picked her towel off the chair and she shook it out and wrapped it around her slim self.

He got a mouth full of water and had to cough.

He heard her laughing as she went in the house. He had to wait a couple of minutes to go after her.


	9. Chapter 9

Hard Hearted 9

Em's uncle by marriage was Carl Cullen. They'd been driving around in his Buick all evening. Cullen wanted to do what he could for his nephew, and the boys just home. That wasn't uncommon, not at all. People bought them drinks, paid for their meals in a diner, invited them home for supper. He never went to their houses cause then the questions would start, but he'd learned not to argue when they paid for stuff. He learned to say thanks cause money was always tight and these were working people…his people.

He hadn't wanted to leave Isbe. He'd never been with a girl for that long and not wanted to get away from her yapping or her perfume, or the sharp corners on the pocket book she flung around while she yammered, or the sound of her clicky heels as she stumbled against his arm, or her shrill laugh. Even if they'd messed around, especially then, it didn't slow him down…he spilled his seed…then he wanted to escape.

It's like he couldn't breathe. He had to know he could move.

He never asked girls out. He picked them up…or more honest…he got drunk and let them pick him up. If they were willing, he'd play it out, feel her up, get her off, let her jack him off. That was enough, except in France…that time.

Then he'd get the hell away. That's it. That's how he'd been before the war. Now he was home it hadn't changed.

But with Isbe…he'd seen himself on her couch…he'd done that, the room was narrow and there were the doo-dads everywhere, but not too many, and he could almost relax. He imagined he could.

And when he left her…she didn't trust him. She said, "Well, take care of yourself." Then she'd smiled and added, "Hero." She looked like a kid, standing there in her nightgown and her robe, her slippers. Her hair was pulled back again. She looked purely beautiful. And pure was…wow. She was undiluted. That's all he knew and he was sober when he knew it.

"I'll call you," he'd said, cause he had big thoughts and then his words were always shit. But he knew her number.

"You don't know my number," she said.

He didn't argue. He'd made his point. That was it. He knew the damn number. He couldn't encourage this second guessing. When he said something he meant it.

So it had been rocky…their parting. He forgave her enough to kiss her, but he felt angry for some reason. He hated leaving her. But he'd put on a face cause…why not? It had been good between them. He wasn't a broad, sappy that way…dramatic. He had to go. Did everything with dames have to be so…hard?

And he wasn't wearing underwear. They'd been wet. Like Em, he'd thrown his in the trunk. But the girls had helped them get ready. Isbe had combed his hair, put some shit on it that smelled like he had problems with little boys or some shit. He kept touching it and smelling his hand.

"Dipping those fingers in some cream cheese…Hero?" Em helped him out.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth," he said. "Jas, you smell flowers or something?"

Jasper had been asleep. That motherfucker could sleep anywhere and anytime.

"Jas, wake the fuck up. I'm talking to you," Eddie groused in the mirror.

"What?" Jasper said without opening his eyes.

"Smell my hair."

"Hell no," Jasper answered, turning away and not even bothering to open his eyes.

Em leaned over and sniffed, close enough Eddie imagined his ear was wet. He hit at that gorilla, and his fist connected.

"Ow, son of a bitch," Em said rubbing his chest.

"Feelin' your titties?" Ed said.

And it was pretty much like that all the way across town to the tavern where Carl held court.

Mel's. Everyone knew it, hole in the wall, dark, couple of pool tables in back, further back, in the room, a never ending card game the coppers pretended not to know about, corned beef sandwiches on Thursday night for the regulars. A pot of ham and cabbage on Saturday, the long shiny bar, the tables for four between the stools and the wall, a latrine looked and smelled like five guys died in there…yesterday.

That was where Carl had his meets.

Eddie wasn't impressed by this, even as he kind of loved it, cops and robbers. These kinds of bars, mafia run, gang run, thug run…law and order baby. You could drink and no hassle from punks, none at all. You could gamble, you name the game…buy something, a radio, a suit, a leather purse, a set of ladies underwear in a jewelry box-seven pairs for seven days-the days of the week stitched over the crotch, rings from someone's grandmother, sausages, hams, maybe a parrot.

Leave your money on the bar, walk away and shoot pool, come back and there was your money.

"Let me do the talkin'," Em said holding the door for him and Jasper, then getting ahead of them and leading them to the back where Carl sat. Two guys stood behind the boss, and another was seated before him, gathering some papers. He was older and just leaving and he maneuvered past them giving them looks of distrust…and pity, and Carl called after him, "I mean Friday you sausage licking greaser."

With that poor moog out of the way Carl watched their approach. Of course they'd been spotted while parking the Buick. One of the guys out there had said he'd take the keys. Em knew that brick shithouse with the heavy burr like right off the boat. He threw the keys to him.

Those hubcabs would be in place when they left and the chrome would be shining. See that's how it was. Now they might be taking the bus, but the car would be sterling.

So now they filed toward Carl's table.

Carl wore a nice suit, brown with a stripe. His white shirt was crisp, his red and gold tie was perfect. Eddie moved his feet, trying not to burst out laughing to think him and Em had no skivvies. This guy wanted respect…he should know they were each swinging a big bat.

And then he had a crazy thought of the many burgomeisters they'd had run-ins with in Germany. In Mel's, Carl was burgomeister. His bet was Carl had a German Luger stuck behind his belt that was way more deadly than the weapon in front of his pants. Yeah, it all had a certain charm.

"Here they are…our boys…back from kicking Kraut ass all across Europe," Carl gushed.

They grinned. Funny thing, Jasper was German, Eddie was some. If someone wouldn't have come over on the boat fifty-a hundred years ago…maybe they'd be Hans and Heinrich about now.

But being the big-headed bastards they were-they never expected to lose that war. They only went there to win. They were the U.S..

Not to say he didn't notice things over there. When they got in to Germany, Eddie could see it, the difference. It was cleaner in Germany. Things were made better—the buildings-just better than what he'd seen before. The Germans were strong. But they were wrong.

The Jews…he didn't want to think about them here. Why did his mind do this, go all over, especially when he was warning himself to pay attention. That was like open season then and his thoughts went wild.

The Jews…those poor people. The camps they liberated. The Jews….

"Eddie Masen," Em was saying as he made the introductions.

Then a couple of guys patted them down.

"What's this?" Em said laughing, but not really.

"A welcome home," Carl laughed.

Uncle Carl didn't shake hands. That was fine. Eddie kept his deep in his pockets…near his dick.

The guy had blonde hair, this finger wave in front, smooth skin, like there were no whiskers, and blue eyes that showed up like two points of ice, even in this fucked light.

He stood, Carl did and he grinned. "My nephew Emmett." He came around the table and put a hand on Em's shoulder and with the other cigar holding hand in the air he said in a loud voice to the various citizens standing around, "His battalion shot down two hundred and three, four…."

"Sixty," Emmie interrupted. "Two hundred and sixty…German planes."

Carl's cigar was burning away between his fingers. He stuck it between his lips and sucked on it, quiet then. He went back to his chair and sat his ass in it. "What about that Buick? Bet you never rode anything so smooth," he said this all smiles again.

"It was great." Em said, "Better than the one Uncle Sam gave us."

Jasper and Eddie laughed. Their M-16 tanks were Buicks—coffins on wheels, to be more exact.

Carl didn't laugh. But he did suck on that fat smoke.

Eddie said, "It's runnin' rich. Your carburetor needs adjusted."

Carl chewed on the cigar. "You're the buddies. Jasper I seen. You're the one from St. Louis."

Eddie didn't say anything. He'd been in here before, but not when Carl was here.

Carl kept staring him up and down. "Shake their hands, boys."

The two big thugs behind Carl stepped forward and shook their hands, and a few others around the bar. Irish thugs, a couple of punks, all out to break your hand.

He didn't like the way it felt, the looks on their faces…he didn't hate it…but he'd learned to pay attention, he always did, but being home had made him sloppy. There were guys he could see, and guys he could feel. He didn't like that.

He'd been keyed up about this meet all day long, and Isbe, she'd calmed him down, and he'd bird-dogged on her and it kept him pleasantly distracted, too much so. He was dull as shit. He didn't even know if he wanted this and Carl knew it. His ice cubes kept landing on Eddie.

He stood straight and looked the big cheese in the eye. He had some change in his pocket and he kept sifting through it, making noise, so he stopped that. He didn't even blink.

"You looking to make some dough?" Carl said, his fingers making a tee-pee. They were too clean, those hands.

Eddie nodded a little. He didn't want his voice on it yet.

"Man of few words…or you don't know many?" Carl laughed at his own joke.

Eddie didn't feel pressed to answer.

"Not easily provoked or hard of hearing?" Carl said, a little less friendly this time.

"There gonna be a test?" Eddie said, and Carl and the goons ooohed and aaahed then, laughing and adjusting their feet, Carl 's fingers tapping against one another.

"A wise guy," Carl said, all toothy.

Eddie took his hands out of his pockets and widened his feet and clasped his hands behind his back.

"No better guy than Eddie, Uncle Carl," Em said, glancing at Eddie. Eddie knew Em had just told him to keep his mouth shut. But what was there to lose? A job he wasn't sure he wanted? Fuck Em and fuck his Uncle Carl.

"You guys want a beer?" Carl said.

For once, they didn't. A bed sounded better. But it was tricky to refuse a drink.

"Some other time maybe," Em said.

Carl turned to the guy on his left. "You think we can trust guys can't drink a beer?"

The big man shrugged, his eyes on Eddie.

"Well…meet's over," Carl said straightening his tie. "I'll let you know. Say hello to my sister-in-law. She says you never call," he said to Em.

"I call every Sunday," Emmie defended himself. "Or a couple of them…or once…she saw me when I came home."

Carl ignored this, "Wayne, see them out."

A couple of them found this funny. Forget this. Eddie was eager to get the hell out of here. This moog hadn't said shit about an actual job.

They were in the stinking entryway when it happened. This was a ramshackle entrance, couldn't hold more than four. The two who'd been behind Carl, were behind them, and three more were outside the door, right there. They were sandwiched between these guys.

"What's this shit?" Eddie said, and Em and Jasper were talking, but he couldn't listen, he had these guys in his face.

"Move," he told the one closest, that mug of his, bruised and meaty. When he didn't move, Eddie punched him square in the nose. Blood spurted and there went his jacket and the white shirt. He hit that beef roast in the face again just for that.

"Easy," one of beefroast's buddies were saying as they stepped back a little. Then Eddie was shoved from behind cause all hell was breaking loose in this box.

Eddie ended up swinging his fists on the sidewalk in front of this place. It was a free-for-all then, everyone swinging. Eddie punched and kicked and tackled. After a few minutes a couple of those guys were rolling on the ground, one was out completely.

Eddie helped Jasper up from the sidewalk. His lip was cut, his nose bloody.

Carl stood in the doorway, a couple of his boys behind him, a couple others had come around the building from the back and were looking over the damage. Carl had called off his goons, but only two were standing. Em leaned against the building, his chest heaving. He was sucking on a knuckle. "Hey Uncle Carl," he said between licks, "you wanna tell me why we shouldn't rip your arms off?"

Carl threw back his head and laughed. When he was done he said to Eddie, "You were right. You passed!"

He was laughing like a loon.

"I'm goin' home," Eddie said to Em.

"Wait. I'm comin'."

Jasper fell in with them.

"Boys!" Carl called. "Take the Buick."

The moog threw Emmie the keys and they hit his leg and fell to the ground. Emmie bent and picked them up, bounced them in his hand a little. "Yeah…sure. Thanks."

Eddie didn't want in that coffin on wheels. But Em and Jasper were getting in and he was so damn tired, this bastard deserved his blood on the seats.

He went around the car, shot a last look at all those grinning assholes as they scraped their guys off the pavement. He was beat.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all for your AWESOME words.

Hard Hearted 10

"He didn't used to…," Em started to say as he drove through the deserted city streets.

"Don't talk," Eddie said from the backseat.

"I didn't…," Em again.

"I said to shut up, fucker. You think I want to hear from you right now?" Eddie sat up some.

Jasper turned around, "Calm down, Ed. Nobody knew."

Eddie got a good look at him. "Shit," he cried and they stared at each other. Then Eddie broke out laughing. "Those fuckers had knuckles."

Then he looked at Em with something more than his rage. Em had a split on the back of his head that was still bleeding, and from the side he could see a big bruise forming on his cheek, and his hands on the wheel were hamburger.

"Motherfuck!" Em yelled like he just realized he was mad. He hammered the steering wheel. He drove faster then.

Jasper had braced himself on the seat and the door.

Eddie couldn't stop laughing.

Em was grinning when he looked in the back seat, "It ain't funny you damn chimpanzee."

Eddie's head was thrown back he was laughing so hard. "I beat the shit out of that potato eater. He stuck his face right there," he held his hand in front of his face. He'd broken that moog's nose and knocked him out and he couldn't stop laughing. "Fuck the Irish!" Eddie yelled. Then he howled and slammed his back into the seat a couple of times. It hurt too cause he'd been hit in the back.

They talked over each other then, who did what. Then they bitched about their ruined suits.

"We can't see the girls like this," Jasper said when they'd crowed a little.

"I'm walking a tightrope with Rose," Em said. "That woman has been rode over…and she's bitter!" he said.

Eddie leaned forward. He knew this. "Isbe wouldn't say."

"Allie either. Some kind of woman-pact," Jasper said, his speech funny from his fat lips.

"Allie? Got a little love talkin' goin' on?" Em again.

"We'll be out on the swing," Eddie mimicked Alice. "You all go on…we'll just be on the swing," he said again, then, "Saaaa…wangin'!"

"How's it wangin' while you're swangin', brother?" Emmie asked Jasper, and that one punched Em's arm and Em groaned and held it, "Fucker…what are you doin' you damn baboon."

"That's fooker to you," Jas said, looking back at Eddie and they both laughed cause Jasper brought the Irish.

"Fook the Irish," Eddie yelled.

Aw shit. He had that too, Irish. That was her…his mother. He was Europe's mutt just like most he knew.

And his mother…well fuck the Irish.

He felt better. Good even. That fight…he'd needed it. He hadn't even realized. The fight at the track…he'd been too drunk. Now he sat up so he could talk to the monkies. "You want to work for this jack ass? He's out of his mind. We knew him in the war we'd of taken care of him…and burned his laundry."

They were quiet for a minute until Emmie said, "Mom married Spanky when I was…six. He's been like a dad to me, better than the bastard I never knew."

"That makes you the bastard," Jasper said slow, and Em ignored him.

"I never really saw Carl cause he went to Leavenworth for armed robbery when I was in grade school."

They knew this. They knew about one another's lives, especially Em and Jasper cause they'd grown up together, but Edward had pretty well heard it all.

"What about Rose?" Eddie asked.

"Oh shit. Well…she's a widow. And get this, he died from a wound to his foot. One week before he shipped out. Infection got him."

Edward flew back, and they were laughing. "Let me guess…small caliber wound?"

"You got it baby," Em said.

"Does she know?" Jasper asked.

"I don't' know. Probably not," Em said lighting a smoke. Eddie and Jasper hit him up and they all lit up then.

Rose wouldn't know it but half the guys in the hospital were there for self-inflicted wounds, always in the hand or the foot and always with a small caliber weapon. The army was probably going to court-marshal the guy. Eddie wondered if he'd hung himself. You never knew.

Well shit, that was something else to think about.

But his favorite new thought, hands down, was all Isbe. She'd left a feeling in him…an excitement. She'd be in bed right now. He pictured her sleeping. He'd give anything to see it.

"I was thinking we could take them fishing," Em said.

"Yeah," Jasper said. "We could cook on the beach."

"Or they could cook. Looks like they do. They got it real nice. Rose had pans and all that woman stuff."

"Carpet sweeper too, Em?" Eddie teased him. When McCarty talked about what a woman 'had,' it was never her pots and pans.

"I'm trying to talk to you monkies. You can't have a serious conversation…."

"I didn't say shit," Jasper defended himself. "Allie cooks."

Em hooted. "Allie," he teased, and Jasper shook his head and flicked ash out the window.

He wanted to do that, get Isbe out on the lake, fish with her, have all that time together, no escape. Damn it was nice to have her to think about. It was real good.

"We need to wait…a day or so," Em said. "Let the swelling go down," Em opened and closed his hand. "Then we could go…if it don't rain. If it does…we can do something else."

Eddie kept quiet, his thoughts taking him, her face when he said good-bye, her lips…her eyes. He wanted to know her. Man, what a sap he was. He had to cover his mouth, gingerly, but still he had to…cause his smile was private. He wasn't into group outings. He'd go with it some…but his goal was to get her alone. But even when they'd all been together, they'd paired off, and he didn't have wheels…yet…and he lived in a latrine…and his one and only suit was good for the ragman.

"What kind of shit is your cracked relative wanting us to do?" he said to Em.

"I thought it was…security maybe. That's what I thought this meet was about."

Eddie nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

They dumped him off and he went up the stairs. A wino was passed out lying across the bottom of the doors. He tried to rouse the guy, shake him while he said, "Buddy." But he didn't move. Finally he moved him just enough so he could get the door open and squeeze inside. In the lobby it always stunk like a damp cellar. The fat guy in the sweater was sitting behind the desk reading a newspaper. The radio was on low.

Eddie went across the cracked tile floor, grit crunching under his shoes. Anyplace else they'd probably call the cops over someone looked like him, but here he was right at home. He went up several flights of the wide stairs and reached his room. It was cool inside, dark, but lit red by the blinking sign on the electrical plant across the street.

He peeled off his clothes. Oh yeah. He'd left his shorts in Em's trunk. Too bad they didn't leave the Buick there like he wanted. It would be great to think of Carl's face when he found two pair of skivvies dried over the spare, like a fuck you.

He fell on his squeaky bed ass out, not a stitch on, and next thing he knew it was morning and someone was pounding on his door.

"What?" he yelled from the bed. He paid that landlord the six bucks so what?

"Eddie, open up."

It was Em. Eddie rolled out of the bed. He hurt, he was hung over, he had cotton-mouth, he'd bled on his sheets. He went to the door in his birthday suit and ripped it open. "What?"

Em wasn't phased by the display. "Get dressed."

"What? I just got…."

Em pushed in and closed the door behind him. "I opened the trunk. On the Buick, this morning, I opened the trunk. Eddie…there's a body in there. You hearing me?" Em backhanded Eddie's shoulder. "There's a dead guy in the Buick."


	11. Chapter 11

This is the second update this morning so make sure you guys read chap 10

Well, I told you guys you'd know more when I did. This is rough. I'm sorry.

Ten Million Slaves by Otis Taylor is the driving theme of this- Eddie's story…the monkies story…for now. I've played it ten million times. But at the end of this chapter it's Black Hawk Down (Main Theme) by Hans Zimmer. I normally don't talk about the music, or answer questions because I want the writing to stand on its own…or fall on its face.

But I wanted to handle the end of this chapter as delicately as possible. But I think it needs to be told as a matter of right and truth. Is this the place? I don't know. There is no place…unless we make one.

Hard Hearted 11

Edward washed at his sink, told Em to turn the hell around while he pissed. Then he dug for some underwear. Damn, he needed to let that gal wash his clothes again. While he rooted through the rags in his drawer and the crap on the floor he noticed his hair was heavy enough on top it almost hung in his eyes.

"Man you are beat to shit," Em said.

He found a pair of skivvies that were passable, no stains. He sniffed them and besides that sour clothes smell they'd do. He moved like an old man while he pulled these on.

Em's cheek had merged with a shiner. "You look in the mirror?" Ed asked him.

He needed to shave. So he got out the things to do that, his silver razor which he unscrewed and the spare Gillette blades in the thin paper wrapper. These were about the only things in his medicine cabinet except for his toothbrush and Ipana, some Colgate deodorant.

Em plopped down on the wooden chair set by the open window through which the noisy sounds of traffic moved like Chicago's heartbeat. "C'mon, Eddie."

Eddie had a time getting that blade off the stack. His hands shook some. He felt Em staring. "What?" he said.

"What are you doing kid? It's gonna be a hundred degrees today and we got stinkin' bar-be-que in the trunk."

Eddie gingerly soaped through the sore sand-pits on his cheeks with his sore fingers. He thought of Isbe, staring at him that way, that girl. He was beat to shit. It always showed the next day, the rainbow. At one time, he'd had two of those mutton fuckers on him. Hellacious dreams all night. Here he didn't even have clean underwear.

Isbe didn't need a moog like him, not like he was now. Didn't mean he couldn't rise to the occasion. He hadn't decided if he was willing to try. Or maybe he wouldn't admit it one way or another yet. Carl only thought he was testing him. He was testing himself. Right now. And she was behind it. He knew who he was…in Europe. But how to bring that guy home…that chimpanzee? That's where the test came in.

"You get my skivvies out of the trunk?" he said to Em.

"Did you hear me, Eddie. There's a pork chop lying on your damn underwear, saucing it like the Fourth of July."

He took his time shaving, making all the faces while glancing at Em in the mirror now and then. That one watched in disbelief.

While he was rinsing his razor he said, "Ever notice how trouble never goes away no matter how long it takes you to get to it?"

"I noticed it gets worse the longer you take."

"Maybe. But it's still there…like a broken leg waitin' to be set."

"You gonna get poetic on me now?"

Eddie took the dirty towel he kept by the sink and patted his cheeks. Then he turned and started to gather his laundry and shove it in his duffel.

"You gonna clean house now? We got…."

"'We got nothin'," Eddie said finding his everyday pants. He balanced on one foot while he shoved the other into the leg. "Your fuckin' uncle, however…."

"He won't take my calls," Em moved around on the squeaking chair, wincing a little and working his shoulder.

Eddie laughed while he shook out a shirt. It was blue and short sleeved. It had some style when it was washed and ironed. "He ain't gonna talk to you," Eddie said. "He's made his point."

"You want this job?" Em said.

Eddie shrugged and settled the shirt on his sore shoulders. "Anyone else beating down your door with opportunity?"

Em stared at him.

"How much we make at the munitions factory before the war?"

"Eighty-eight cents a fucking hour," Em said.

"I was proud of dat," Eddie said.

Em shrugged. "You're dumb as a fuck, they pay you good."

"Now you sound poetic. They ought to quote you on it."

"Best money I ever made. Except for what we took off those guys at the track."

"Not true. We made good with Jasper's uncle."

"But we're not union. We got to get a card. That's what took me to Uncle Carl."

"That fuck gonna get us cards?"

"He said he would…but maybe we'd do a couple of jobs for him first."

"Right. You think he's on the up?"

Emmie laughed.

"See there, you got your sense of humor back."

Emmie's smile dropped right off. "Nunt-uh. I ain't laughin' about this."

"Get a look at the stiff?"

Em's head went down, "Yeah. It's that moog that was leavin' Carl's table when we got there."

Eddie shrugged. "So why we were in there that poor bastard…."

"Was getting his…head…."

"Shit. Unc is a real swell guy."

"Yeah."

Eddie didn't know if it was his imagination, but he could smell the death as soon as he got in the Buick.

They rode two blocks and Jasper waited on the stoop to his building, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Oh man, he's got coffee," Ed said. He'd shoot a fucker for some of that.

"Where's our coffee you stingy bastard?" Em said as Jasper got in the back seat holding that cup. Like them he looked for shit. His hair was growing out too, and it was wavy, the way girls liked it, he said, and he never had problems in that department. That little bird he had now…she seemed to like it, too.

As a rule, dames thought since Jasper was quiet he had all kinds of shit he wanted to say, but truth was, he didn't have a thing. When he did get serious though, it could be worth the wait. But Eddie wasn't waiting. He liked Jasper. He was stand up, he was true. When they worked at the munitions plant, that fucker would take the chunks out of the cans of gunpowder and set them up on the stairs and hit them with a hammer, scare the shit out of everybody.

Nothing rattled this guy, but he had a temper. When he let it go…it was gunpowder on the stairs.

Jasper didn't have to orate to improve Eddie's good feelings toward him.

"Stinks," Jasper said before taking a noisy sip.

"Drive out of the city," Eddie said to Em.

"We doing this?" Em asked. "You know what Carl wants. Obligation."

"Nah," Eddie said. "That's what we want. We looked in the hole where Hitler's body laid. I had a chunk of that motherfucker's desk. You think this moog is gonna obligate us? What did Leavenworth have that D-Day Two didn't? Or the Battle of the Bulge? The only thing he has we don't is money. You want a woman like the ones we met yesterday you got to have something to bring to the table. Nah, brother…he don't obligate us. We obligate him. We do this…we own him. We're the fuckin' monkies, right?"

"Fuck yeah," Em yelled honking the horn.

Eddie turned to Jasper. He had a big grin that had resplit his lip and it was bleeding but he didn't know it yet.

"Right you damn baboon?" Eddie said.

Jasper just stared but that grin on his beat up face…it made Eddie laugh.

"Give me that coffee before you bleed in it," Eddie said. Jasper handed it over, his other hand discovering the blood.

Eddie took a big sip and it went like fire through his veins. At his feet was a saw wrapped in his dirty towel. He'd stolen it from the janitor's closet before he left his building.

It wasn't his first headless body.

There was that woman…in Belgium.

He didn't want to think about her now. He saw her…he'd ran the hell away after sleeping a foot away from her all night.

Him and his buddy, they'd pitched their bedrolls on that big carved bed…in that farm house…against the rules…sleeping on the beds…they told them not to do it…meningitis…pitch your roll on the floor.

But he was so tired…so they pitched their rolls on the bed…and morning came…morning light….

He'd taken the spot near the wall.

And he looked down…in that crack…and there she was…all night long…all night.

If his hand had dangled off the bed…if he'd gotten up to piss…there she was…her head cut off.

And he'd made a sound, scrambled up…hitting his buddy…get up…get up.

And they gathered their gear…like they were being straffed.

But this one…this poor soul…there was no running now. Was he sure?

He made that first cut…he'd better be.


	12. Chapter 12

This is on The Lemonade Stand for Fic of the week (6-10-13). You can vote for this and others if so inclined until Wed. Those girls work faithfully to bring you, the reader, some great choices and challenges.

Thanks for all your kind and brilliant words.

Hard Hearted 12

In the morning, Isbe rolled over in her bed and stared at the ceiling, arms flung wide. The streamers that hung from the electrical light blew slowly in the breeze the fan made. She stared at these like blessings reaching down to grace her, to wave gently, to welcome her…to a day where anything was possible. Oh…something was finally happening. Eddie.

She was awake now. When she stretched, she felt her body in a new way. The sheet grazed her pulse points. She was aroused…she was alive.

She'd been saving herself. Waiting.

She ran her hand over every part of body. Her skin was alluring beneath her fingers, soft. She was straight, she was curved. This is what he'd felt…what he'd wanted. Maybe it was enough. Maybe she was.

She loved him, and she'd told him, and there was something when he looked at her, lust yes, and he didn't hide it like the boys…the proper sons who lured her with manners and their mama's…with good jobs she couldn't seem to grasp onto…couldn't listen to the mouths that spoke the many words….lips moving…moustaches…clean shaven….they were the same, offering a better prison, a better cell…solitary confinement…with matching silverware.

Eddie blew through her walls. He came after her…then she went after him.

When she'd seen him outside, there was nothing else. She went forward, he was tall, and leaning on the wall like he'd escaped something. She knew him…she didn't. She had a hunch…and she knew he wasn't afraid…of anything…but theatres…and other people's stories…and boring little girls that looked like women.

She knew it was too much…inside…and he was thinking all of it over…he'd been someplace else…she could feel it on him, back in the theatre, she could see it now…the way he'd sat in back, too much, too big, and he had to get out, now the way he lipped that smoke…and all he'd probably done and been, it was there.

He was trying to get small…and it was hard. She knew this. She saw this. She was in the rabbit-hole, and he was looking in cause he'd been out, and wondering…if…and how…and mostly…why.

He was beautiful. Astoundingly…everything a stilted, desperate girl could imagine. A girl who had pulled on the wooden bars of her headboard just the night before, frustrated…and hopeless. A girl who carried the sadness of her mother and father's failed love…and thought on it too much…and tried to let go of it when her mother died…and wanted to outlive it…but couldn't…without someone to love…to pull her forth even as she pulled him in.

The drive and need to love…to be loved. She had a mission…she'd been looking. All along. For Him. Would she be shy about it? She was starving.

His eyes when he saw her, gone in his thoughts, but she said, "Mister," like a kid would...and his eyes. He needed her then. For a minute. Forever.

But she was no kid, she was aware…so aware…so aware.

He'd looked her up and down. She said it. She wasn't going to let him deny how it was. She could get looked at…he could look at a hundred women, a thousand…but his eyes on her…a crash of thunder…a great cracking break at the North Pole…an angry black sky over the ocean and waves lifting a ship one hundred feet in the air…a mile wide twister in Kansas sweeping everything clean…when he looked at her something got yanked at the roots. Something moved.

She'd been the quiet girl, the coy girl. She'd been the swell girl, the girl mother brought home to you.

Everything else had been practice: speaking brashly and batting her lashes like a lamb. Being a good student who tried to fix things at home by earning E's for excellent. Working the switchboard and wearing sweater sets and fake pearls or tying a dimestore scarf around her neck, plugging the cord in to the jack and crossing her ankles, tightly, while wondering how it felt to have a man push into the ache between her legs while she clawed his back and screamed his name.

She looked for Him in the movies she watched on Saturday night at the Ritz…a woman of faith…a woman who believed…dared to know…he was searching…he was lost…and by some miracle…he would find her…and she'd know him…instantly.

Reality? She had that. She knew. She was the girl who met her broken father at St. Francis's for Mass once a month on Sunday mornings then walked with him to Tillman's diner on the corner of Grand and Magnolia for Eggs Benedict and hash browns which they ate in silence and his two failed marriages, the one he'd killed, the one he was still killing were on the table between them like the salt and pepper so old and grease-filled you could barely shake them out.

This morning, in her bed, she was this woman, this siren with the chest, with the hips, with the legs…with the hair…with the eyes…with the need. He was looking her up and down and leaving a trail of fire under her skin, fire she felt all the way to her bobby socks, her bare feet, her shriveled soul.

He wanted her. When he'd looked at her…she wasn't a disappointment to him, not when she dared to hold his eyes, his troubled, gorgeous, worldly, secretive eyes. And the hands that held that cigarette, bruised from fighting…a wall…a man…his past…his present…the world? It scared her, it thrilled her, but she'd seen that many times…on her father…from his work…and from his rages…when he tore their house apart…when he worked on her mother…when he tore through them all.

She loved Eddie. And she knew Rose was going to give her hell for falling so quick and letting him know, and she knew Alice would be all wide-eyed and follow her reckless path, but she had to do this, even if it was a mistake, a brutal mistake, she had to try.

She wasn't going to run. She was done looking out from her rabbit hole. If anything could pull her out and make her take a chance, it was him. If he offered hell, and she sensed he was lost enough that he might, if this is how Satan wanted to come and finally finish her off…she was game to give him one hell of a ride.

If he called. Oh please, God, she prayed, let him call.


	13. Chapter 13

Second update today so make sure you read 12.

Enjoy

Hard Hearted 13

She'd made an impression. It took a lot. To get through all the crap in him. It had to be red-hot to burn its way through.

She'd gotten through.

He thought about her now walking away from that pool last night. Now he tried to rub the smile off his lips as he looked out the window. Damn. God bless the red, white and blue.

They were on the backroads, the dusty dirt ones, the oiled and graveled ones. They were lost. That's how they'd found the farmhouse, or what was left of it. They'd cleaned off the lid to the cistern near the decayed back porch. That's where they put the body. They covered it, trashed it right up, pulled the rest of the porch over it, damn near pulled the house down and had a good laugh.

The head and hands they buried deeper in the woods. A body, it took fucking hours to plant one of those. But the head and hands, they were the dogtags. You could dig a hole to China and throw those babies in in less time than it took to eat a steak.

Jasper was grousing about his clothes, that he smelled like the musty rags he'd gotten out of the farmhouse to clean the trunk.

Em said, "We gonna go by Mel's or what?"

"Nah," Eddie said, lighting a smoke. "He comes to us, that fuck."

Emmie hooted and sped up. He was the one who swung the broken pick ax they'd found on the place. He'd buried the dogtags and their dirty skivvies.

Jasper leaned forward, "What about this car?"

"Coffin on wheels," Eddie laughed.

Jasper had the Buick's trunk spit shined. The carpet was rolled though. It might be a loss. Eddie said to keep it. He wasn't sure yet.

Then he was. They saw a pond, he had Em stop, he got that piece of rug rolled tight and tied and he sent it into the water.

That made him think of fish.

"We gonna ask those broads?" Em said. "Take them fishing?"

Eddie laughed. "Broads?" He thought of that.

"The girls. Rose. Jasper's…Bisbe."

"Isbe," Edward said. "Her name's Isbe."

Yeah. They'd go fishing. Soon as he healed a little, but shit, that wouldn't stop him. Clean clothes. Some bread so he could treat her right.

"What if he don't pay?" Em said, reading his thoughts.

"We got his fuckin' car," Eddie said. "Park it on the street, couple blocks from your house. If it's hot, they won't come back to you."

"Why not take it to Mel's?"

"No." That wasn't how this worked. Mel's was enemy territory. They needed some wheels. They'd earned them. And he knew what that car was.

"How much bread you guys got?" Eddie said, swatting a fly.

"I've got forty-six," Em said.

Jasper wouldn't know, and he didn't. He dug in one pocket, then the other. Dollars were wadded like trash. He straightened them some and counted. "Thirty-seven."

A month's wages each. Working stiff money. Treading water money, just enough to keep you from drowning. Littlest trouble came you went under.

Eddie looked in his wallet. He had six. He'd had twenty. Where the hell had it gone?

Em gave him ten, Jasper too. He kept Em's and gave five back to Jasper.

"Keep it brother. You'll just need it later," Jasper said.

"How about your shoes? Gonna give me those too?" Eddie said. "You keep it. Get some bait."

"Should have kept that pick. We could dig some," Jasper said.

"And put it in your coffee cup?" Eddie said. "C'mon, let's find our way out of here and get something to eat."

And it was just that easy to keep going, to find their way back to the two-lane to glide back into the city, Sinatra on the radio, headed for a diner.

They went to Tillman's and Eddie ordered the cube-steak. He took his turn going to the john in the back and washing up best he could. He laughed at the color in his face. They looked like a bunch of circus clowns. Damn his life was happening in one of the rings, and he hoped no one was looking. Not God, if he was there, and he knew he was, scorecard in hand. He believed in the big and the powerful. They'd marched before the big four for what they did at the bulge. He figured it was like that. But he'd no wish to have an encounter in the john at Tillman's. This made him laugh as he blew in to a handful of water.

He was tonguing a sore in his mouth from where his teeth had gone in to the soft side of his cheek during the fight and winding his way between the booths and a waitress and a big tray full of fried food when he saw her.

Shit. Fuck a duck and fuck its mother. There sat Isbe in a booth, facing him, five feet away and he still had to pass. Across from her, a man, back of his head, dark hair. A uniform shirt.

Eddie glared at her, and she was frozen looking at him, recognition, then casting her eyes to the plate before her, her arms folded on the table. She was beautiful, and alarmed, and shocked. As he walked by, close enough to touch her, she ignored him.

He stumbled along and got in the booth with the monkeys.

"What's the matter?" Jasper said right away. He sat across from him, Em was beside.

"Don't look the fuck over there," he said, watching both of them crane their necks.

He chewed them out and the old lady in the booth behind Jasper turned around and told him he should be ashamed.

He thanked her. He didn't need a scene.

"Let's get out of here," he said. But their food arrived and he knew these guys couldn't be dragged out now.

"You talk to her?" Em said taking his platter.

He was quiet then, and he let their food get placed by Merry Sunshine. He kept looking over there, just the sight of her dark head punching him in the gut and taking the light right out of him. He looked at the man she was with, keeping his breathing even as he could. Her man was older. Was this that Jacob Black?

He was a cop, a fucking copper. And she didn't want to know Eddie, he could see that. She had ignored him. She was hoping and praying, right now, he could see it in her shoulders, praying he'd stay away.

He cleared his throat. He'd faced worse than this. What was she? This time yesterday he hadn't known she existed. This time tomorrow he wouldn't either. He cleared his throat. The old lady had done her job for mothers everywhere. He said to the monkeys, real low-voiced, "Don't look. I'll…break your faces you look."

When they got that he went on. "Isbe is sitting across from a copper."

"Saw that," Emmie said, face over his plate, shoveling and chewing.

"Yep," Jasper said licking his fork.

"Yeah," Eddie said easing back some. She didn't want to see him, she had no worries. None at all.

Or maybe he'd go over there. Maybe he should, tell her hello, he'd had a real nice time last night. He could wink, toss that money they'd given him on the table.

The copper…it wasn't him…it was the act…the look. She was ashamed. He embarrassed her.

"I'll be outside," he told them.

"Aw fuck, Eddie. Go on and eat, man. You're always runnin' out," Em whined.

"Fuck you," and the old lady turned around then, but he was already leaving.


	14. Chapter 14

Hard Hearted 14

Outside the diner, Eddie stood by the Buick and lit a cigarette, let that smoke find its own way out of his open mouth. People were going in and out to get that good greasy food. He wasn't standing there two minutes and Isbe was coming out with the copper. They walked side by side, then she dropped back as they crossed the lot, the copper moving toward a police car parked near the street. She turned around then, Isbe did, stared straight at Eddie…just stared while taking a few steps backwards.

She turned around quick skirt swirling, and caught up to the copper, but the look she'd given, no smile, no frown, just that look with those eyes that twisted his stomach with want. She knew.

He couldn't take his eyes off her now, in a Sunday dress so prim and proper, that girl he'd had his hands all over, that girl who walked out of that pool and froze him into stillness. She was Isabella now in those shiny heels and that cream colored dress with the black lines running over it. She was Isabella, surely that cause he did not know her...oh but he did.

She and the copper stood at the police car and she was talking with him. Copper leaned forward, hand on her arm, and kissed her upturned cheek and she backed away, waved as he pulled off. When he was gone she turned pulled this little white hat off her head and walked toward Eddie.

He was smoking it down, his eyes boring into hers. He looked her up and down and finished the last of his smoke.

She looked around as if checking the cop car was long gone.

She hurried to him, got close enough, her breasts pointing straight at him, a little black bow at her throat. Her hair parted at the side and wavy brown silk on her shoulders.

She was a stunner. And he knew he was filthy. Maybe he stank. He should.

But she liked it…him. She was so easy to read on that. She clutched this little purse with two hands, holding it in front of her waist, obstructing his view. He didn't want anything between them. So he took her wrist, and he threw the smoke down and used both hands to pull her in.

She came right to him. "I didn't…."

"Don't," he said. Like with Em. He didn't like excuses.

She pulled in a breath, but her eyes….

"You afraid of me?" he said.

She shook her head.

"That your old man?"

She nodded.

He was quiet then, relieved…and fucked. A copper?

"You didn't say…," he said.

"You wouldn't let me," she answered.

He smiled, he liked her pluck.

"Ain't ready to introduce me?" He pulled her in closer, obscenely so for a diner parking lot on a Sunday afternoon.

"I…didn't know if you were. He's…I don't…." She was trying to get it out. It was about her. He knew this.

"I'm not stupid," he said. She kept the door closed on the old man. He got that. What would she say? How would she explain him?

"You've…been fighting," she said.

He shrugged. "Ran into a door."

She looked at his chest. He was patient.

"I…you're not easy to explain," she whispered. "I don't want him nosing around." She held his gaze then.

"Do I embarrass you?" he said, had the courage to ask, because he knew now, that wasn't it.

"No," she whispered. Then she went up on her toes and crashed her pink lips against his. She wasn't shy here, where she should be embarrassed with folks milling about. She was showing him.

He kissed her back, she was giving him tongue, and he wanted to groan and lean back on the coffin and pull her onto him, but he felt protective of her, and he pulled back.

"Damn," he whispered, and she had her eyes half closed, and she was huffing. He pulled her in to the Buick then, the backseat, and remembered the saw was in the trunk. He put his arm around her and sat back. He left the door open some cause it was hot.

He had his arm around her, and she had her head resting in the crook of his arm and she was looking at him, fingering over some of the bruising. "Why do you do this?" There were tears in her eyes.

He shrugged. "You like to go fishing?"

She sat up. "I love to go fishing. My dad…I haven't gone in a long time."

"I know a place," he said.

"Yeah? Right now?"

"You gettin' any younger?" he said.

The guys came out then, Eddie's food on a covered plate.

"He's got Bisbe, brother, pay up," Emmie was saying to Jasper.

"Oh that fucker," Jasper said.

They were wrong. Isbe…had him.


	15. Chapter 15

Second update today so be sure to read 14. Love to all.

Hard Hearted 15

The fishing trip turned into a cook-out in Isbe's backyard. When they'd reached Isbe's house the girls were already baking and they were less enthused about ponds and worms and crickets, so they easily prevailed on the men to come in for some food and fun.

Em and Jasper were already going inside before Isbe pulled Eddie out of the car. "Stay here and we can dance on the patio," she said, her head to the side as he followed her away from the Buick and onto the porch.

He was two steps below her, and she took her little flat hat and put it on him. "Look at you all dressed up," she said.

From inside he could hear Rose and Alice going on about how beat up Jasper and Em were.

"We got jumped. Baby we got jumped," Em was saying.

Rose was asking if this happened when they went for their job. "I still don't know what kind of job you go to at two in the morning."

"One like this, Baby," Em said, and Eddie was trying not laugh.

But Isbe was laughing at him, in that hat. When they got in, he made like he was going to pull her up to her room, and she resisted and laughed, and he kissed her, squeezed the daylights out of her.

She pulled him in to the kitchen then but he'd looked longingly up those stairs as she dragged him along.

"Look who I found," she said, and Eddie snatched the hat off his head and Em said he was about to French him he looked so cute.

The fun included swimming. Edward and Em went up to the gas station and the little store. They had a rack of swimsuits in the back and Em bought three of the same blue trunks, and Eddie said, "Hell no." He got yellow for Jasper, and red for himself. They also got some soda, some chips, charcoal, hotdogs and hamburger. They didn't sell alcohol on Sunday.

They paid and raced back to the house. "Rose is wearing an apron," Em kept saying. "She wears an apron."

Eddie just glared at Em. He wasn't touching that, whatever the fuck it was.

They got back to the house and Rose was cooking, Alice was pulling a pie out of the oven. "Is that apple?" Jasper was saying like she'd birthed his child instead of made a pie. And they'd just eaten dinner, those two monkies. But they were always hungry. And Ed still had foil over his dinner from Tillman's. He pulled it off and Rose took a look at it and said, "You're not eating that."

Isbe looked next. "Give it here," and she took the paper plate and tossed it in the trash can that sat under the sink.

"Hey," Eddie tried to protest, but those girls were swirling around like they had rehearsed this.

"I'm going upstairs to change," Isbe said.

"We are?" Eddie asked following her.

She was flushed scarlet for some reason.

"You can change down here," she said. "Not outside. I've got neighbors."

"Emmie said they can't see," he reminded, his foot on the first step as he grabbed her around the waist. He ran one hand down the side of her, the full skirt crushed on her hip. They'd been having fun, but he lost his smile and got serious. He moved his hand around back and snapped the garter that held up her nylons. He wanted to see it. Fuck pie. He wanted her.

Her hands were on his shoulders. She was a couple of steps above, a little taller. "I can't believe you did that," she said, and she grinned a little, but she was surprised.

That was nothing. He was handsy. He rarely got stopped, but that was because the girls were usually as drunk as he was.

This was sober Isbe. Maybe Isabella. Was it the dress?

"I like this," he said, flicking her collar, "but get it off."

"I…will," she said, eyes big.

"Wear that suit you had on last night," he said, fucker he was.

Her pulse was fluttering. He smiled. Yeah, he was a handful. It wasn't like his old man hadn't tried to beat it out of him, but the fucker inside just got stronger.

"I will," she said softly. She turned then and went slowly up the stairs, stopping, two hands on the rail and looking at him. He hadn't moved.

He shrugged. He liked the view. He bent to the side a little, ogling her legs, letting her know he'd like to look up her dress. If she didn't move, he'd say it. As it was he let his eyes go to her ass, then he looked directly at her.

"You…need to behave," she said, her inner princess making a show.

He laughed then. "Why can't I come up? You afraid I'll break something?" He lifted his brows and held a laugh in.

She got it then and shook her head. "I'm locking my door," she said and ran the rest of the way up.

He was laughing when he went in the kitchen. He was an animal. When she came down he'd be so good, she'd think she imagined it.

The others were outside setting up, getting the fire ready. There was a brick pit built in the back yard. Some antique from the copper was his guess, when the old man was in his better daddy days. The guy had abandoned ship and left her here at sixteen. It was a big pay-out though. But fuck him.

He looked around. Baked beans bubbled on the stove, and that pie had dripped syrup on the counter and he took his finger and wiped it up and sucked it off and, "Fuck dat!" he said. It was so good he could eat that whole thing, especially since they'd thrown his food out.

Jasper was outside chatting up Alice. He wore his trunks and an undershirt with smudges of things that might put him in jail were they to announce themselves.

He held a beer and Alice smoothed out a tablecloth on their picnic table. It was bright colored with watermelon slices all over it. She turned on the radio they had out there and it was some old swing number and she squealed and moved to get Jasper to dance.

"Where's my trunks?" he asked. Jasper went to a lawn chair and picked them up and threw them. Eddie reached out the door and caught them while Little Bits danced by herself.

He could hear Em's big mouth coming from Rose's place. Rose laughed loudly at something that gorilla said. He went in the living room and took a chance Isbe wouldn't catch him. He had his dick out when she came down, she'd never believe it was an accident. He wasn't sure about it either.

He changed and put his shirt on like Jasper did. That way they didn't have to deal with the monkeys and the bruises until it was time for the water. But first he wanted to eat.

He gathered up his clothes and he heard her on the stairs then and he walked a few steps and was standing at the bottom and she came down in her suit and some little wrap over it. She'd pinned up her hair. Her legs…how could she be so perfect? It's like he'd stood over God's shoulder and said, "Not like that…but that." And God had listened.


	16. Chapter 16

This is the third one today so make sure you read 14 and 15. Thanks to all who voted this into second place at The Lemonade Stand.

Hard Hearted 16

He knew what she was doing. She got him busy on the bar-be-que. He liked that. He'd never cooked before he was in the army. They found that cellar, those hams and shit. They'd start to cook and those moogs came from all over for a bite.

It kept his hands busy. That's what she was after…a preoccupation. She told him he was fresh. He said, "Fresh?" like she was out of her mind. "I ain't one of those stale mama's boys. Thought you wanted something new?"

"Eddie," she said all aghast. Then she stepped close, and the suit, the suit was right there, nearly against him. She looked at his mouth and licked her lips. Then she walked away and he yelled some kind of sound. And her hips were moving. She better watch it. He wolf-whistled, neighbors be damned.

He was just having fun. Not that he didn't mean it. If she gave him an inch, he'd take her like she was Germany. He'd already begun. He was marching. He was fighting. Soon…soon…he'd be…fucked. Cause he'd hit a wall and he didn't want to think about it. He'd come to the place where he'd have to ask himself…what was he willing to do to her? With her? For her?

Anything. Anything. And anything.

Even now his eyes darted over there. She was going back and forth from kitchen to table. She brought him a pan with some sauce she'd made. The pan was right under her breasts. He let his finger get close, then he stuck his finger in the pan and tasted. "You made this?" This girl! He'd like to pour it all over her chest and lick it off. But he looked right at her breasts and said, "Wow. Delicious."

She laughed. But she'd had a couple of beers.

He poured some of his beer over the meat and it sizzled. "That's fuc…great sauce baby," he called. "I'll let the bar-be-que cool me off," he called fanning his shirt. Then he laughed. This was fun.

She came back, a little taste of pie. She liked to feed him and he liked her to. She made many trips. She brought him a spoonful of beans, macaroni and cheese, celery stuffed with pimento, deviled eggs. Another beer. And always a kiss.

He fed her the first piece of meat. She had him blow on it. Then he blew on her cleavage.

"Whoops," he said. "Got lost."

She laughed. Her little white teeth as she bit into that meat cause the piece was too big…he was up close watching like he was putting the pin back in a grenade.

Later he brought that platter of sauced meat to the table and they sat then, and God…his sore jaw was aching happily as he ate and ate like the monkey he was. In between what he shoveled in, she fed him and watched as he chewed, his throat as he swallowed. She leaned in and whispered, "Such a good boy."

"You'll think good…when I'm done with you," he said back, and they laughed then. But man….


	17. Chapter 17

Hard Hearted 16

They played badminton in the pool. The girls got the shallow end and the boys had to tread water while they tried to hit the birdie. It was hard to do on such a full stomach. Rose was afraid they'd get stomach cramps getting in the water so soon after they ate. Emmie almost died laughing.

"It's not the water that gives you cramps…it's swimming," he said doubled over on the side of the pool after leaving the water to retrieve the birdie yet again. The boys also had to do all birdie retrieving as they whistled and cat-called too much if one of the girls went for it. Rose's rule…as most of the rules seemed to be. But sometimes Little Bird went for it cause no one was as quick. She wore a two piece with a slice of her cute little stomach on display, but Emmie would say, "Aww, ain't she a cutie," and Alice would squeal and hurry back to the water like she'd been stung by a bee.

Then she was stung and Jasper went to her rescue, scooping her up and setting her on the picnic table. He got a penny out of his pant's pocket and after checking there was no stinger he laid the penny on the bite.

Isbe came out of the kitchen with a baking soda paste. If the penny didn't take out the pain the baking soda would, she said.

Edward had her now, wet and slick and soft and gorgeous. Her hair was streaming, all the way to her waist. He loved that. He gathered her hair in his hand, squeezing the water out all along its length. He told her, "Don't ever cut this."

When Alice was better Rose and Em went back in the water, but Eddie and Isbe were lying on towels while Jasper and Alice sat at the table and Jasper had more pie. The sun was going down, and the music was mellow coming from the radio.

Eddie was on his back, Isbe on her stomach, raised on her elbows. He checked no one was looking then he ran his finger along the top of her suit and she gasped and slapped his hand. He rolled on his side, his arm under his head and they were just looking at each other. "I can't believe how well we turned out," he said to her, and she dipped her head and laughed.

"Were you ever spanked…or corrected? I mean…who raised you?" she was flushing red and laughing.

"Emmie," he said, and she laughed some more.

"You do have a mother?" she said.

He flopped onto his back. "I have a father."

"What happened to your mom?"

"Same as yours."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

He was back up on his elbow. "Don't be. I hardly knew her."

"How old were you?" She was getting serious now. Crap, he didn't want that.

"I don't remember. I was young."

"You don't remember? Everyone remembers, Eddie."

"Oh yeah?" he rolled back and pulled her half on top of him. "I remember you. Everything about you," backs of his fingers on her cheek.

"You don't know me, Eddie. Not really."

"You don't think so? Then tell me something."

"I told you already. I'm boring."

"Nada. Who's the first boy you kissed?"

"What? Third grade. Reginald Brule. He dropped his book in the aisle between our desks and when I bent to pick it up for him he leaned down and kissed me. I was so mad. I told my girlfriends and we all ganged up on him and his mom came and got him cause he cried on the playground."

"He's probably ruined," Eddie said. "I'd of punched the fucker. I could punch him now if you want. Look him up…."

"Eddie…are you…are you guys doing something…I mean…I'm a cop's daughter. I got a feeling…you know? That's why…my dad…he's got the eye. I couldn't risk…I mean you guys are so beat up…."

"Hey…you want to know me?" He held her chin.

Her smile…it got him everytime. "Well yeah I want to know you, you big lug. What do you think we're doing here?"

He laughed and she leaned toward him and kissed him. He moved toward her and kissed her again.

"Believe me…I've got something you need to know, I'll tell you. Like..you're beautiful. And…I'm nuts about you. How's dat?" He was feeling pretty proud of letting her know. She dropped her head and laughed again, and when she raised she was flushed and teary eyed.

"You're kind of full of it," she said.

"What?" he pretended offense. "Hey," he touched her chin again, "I don't bullshit on the stuff that matters…and you matter."

"I…," she looked away embarrassed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just feel…you know…what I said last night…when I drink…I get…." He remembered alright. The Quad 50. She kept looking at the tattoo on his arm. She traced over it with her finger. She was avoiding his eyes. And she should be…lying like a dog. She wasn't drunk when she told him the second time…after she'd puked.

"I got no problem with what you said. It's a free country. You didn't sign any papers or anything," he tried to tease her.

"I bet you think I just say that to guys…and I don't…I never have," she said, looking at him now.

"It's just me, huh?" he grinned.

She hit his arm. "Don't make fun."

"I'm not," he protested, laughing. "Like you said…you were drunk."

"I wasn't drunk, drunk," she said. "Eddie…I knew I was saying it."

He toyed with her hair. Now what? Now he wasn't looking at her.

"I mean…if I wasn't drunk…I wouldn't have said it. I…would have held it," she said.

He looked at her, those eyes, those lashes like mink. This girl.

"We got to give it time. Maybe you'll change your mind." It sounded weak, but maybe she would.

"I'm a pretty serious person…about things that matter," she sort of quoted him. He could see she was serious. For all his bullshit he took her seriously.

"What do…," he took in a big breath, "…I mean I ain't ready…I gotta get set up." He wasn't feeling as confident now. He didn't want to write on the wall for her, 'I'm a moog.'

She pulled away and sat up, threading her fingers through her long, tangled hair.

He went on to his back again. It hurt his heart to watch her. The sky was gray and pink with the sun dipping. It was big and vast and every living thing was beneath it. And he was a pinprick, on this towel next to Isbe, and he needed to do something, be something. It was all coming so fast.

"You don't have to go bananas, Eddie. I can't help how you make me feel. Just…don't hurt me…okay?"

Now he sprang up. "Hey Isbe…baby…you think I'd hurt you?"

He pulled her to him. She was crying a little. Shit! He didn't see this coming.

"I just…," she was saying, "I can't just have sex with you. I'm not like that. But…you expect it cause…you're a soldier…but I'm a good girl…I am…but I've been such a slut."

"No, no, no," he was rocking her a little, smiling and thinking what in fuck?

"I was just horsing around," he said trying to comfort her somehow. But crap….

"No…I…I like it…love it," she pulled back and looked in his face. "I just…what do you expect?" she said.

He laughed at this. It was fucking funny cause hell…he'd take the blue ribbon if she'd offer it. She had offered it just the night before. But this was her serious, in spite of the three beers she'd downed.

"I don't expect a damn thing! This…just like this."

She beamed at him. Man he hit the bull's-eye.

"You mean it?"

He was ready to say yes, but he choked a little and had to cough. "Shit…it got so serious in here," he laughed.

"But we should talk about these things, right?"

"If you want," he said. "But all this repeatin'. I don't like to say shit twice."

"I'm sorry Eddie, but…I mean…I'm only doing it when I get married."

He wanted another beer. Or a cigarette. Or a beer and a cigarette and a shot.

He'd asked her last night what she wanted him to do…propose?

"Hey look…let's just have a good time," he said.

"A good time? The way I see it…if I give it to you…then when I do get married…well I gave you something…for my husband."

He knew he should stay quiet. He knew that. "What if I'm the husband…someday…like a long time from now…I mean you don't know the future. I don't. What if someday this works out and I get…going and…."

Fucking fuck.

Now she laughed a little. Good to see her sense of humor return, but he wasn't joking, he was full of bullshit. He didn't want to get married. He had shit to do. He couldn't even give her what she already had. This was humiliating in a way. He wasn't worthy to fuck her or marry her. And talking had pretty much ruined it. Dames and their yakking over every little thing. Most shit wasn't worth being put into words. Most worked out.

"Don't be mad," she said.

"I'm not mad," he lied. "I'm…frustrated or some shit."

"Eddie…just forget it. Forget I brought it up."

Brought what up? She was making shit up, pulling it out of the air.

"Leave well enough alone, you know?" he said.

Jasper came over with a beer and handed it to Eddie. Then he gave him a smoke and lit it. He was like the angel Gabriel.

He walked away without saying a word. See? Perfect.

He was smoking. "You want me?" he said.

"Yes," she answered quickly.

"Here I am." He took a drag and looked away from her. But her hand was on his and she took the cigarette and took a pull.

"Let's just let it happen…see where it goes," he blew his smoke into that big sky.

"I just thought you should know…I'm waiting…for marriage. That way…if it's too much…well you should know now."

He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. She wanted to put the cigarette in his mouth so he allowed it and he pulled. Then he took it from her. "You shouldn't smoke. It'll stunt your growth."

She smiled. "Am I going to be enough for you, Eddie?"

He looked over his shoulder and spit a piece of tobacco, then back at her. "That what this is? You think you're not enough?"

She shrugged, pulling at a clover.

"I'll tell you what…you find a four-leaf clover in the next two minutes…it's a sign. We're gonna end up together. But not without that clover…so get busy."

She got on her knees and lost no time sorting through. But no sooner had she made her first move, she held one. "Oh my God," she whispered falling onto her sweet ass. She looked at him and slowly held up her hand. There between her fingers was a damn four-leaf clover.

He swallowed when he saw it, took it from her and examined it just to make sure.

Damn. This was like from God or something. They were meant.


	18. Chapter 18

Hard Hearted 18

He was stuffed, his hard stomach ready to pop. He practically fell into the backseat of the Buick and sat back, rubbing his middle. Those girls could cook. Damn.

Then it came, like it did…the camps…the Jews.… "Don't feed them," they were told.

It was so hard…impossible to ignore the begging emaciated. Some were fed…and some died. After all that, it wasn't the horrific cruelty of the camps that finally got them…but the kindness that came after. Food given with compassion…was death.

He couldn't eat like he had today and not think of them. So maybe he wouldn't keep fighting it. If they wanted to follow his every move…it was one way they could live…in his mind…standing…staring….

They didn't talk about it…the monkeys. There was no where to go to talk about it. Nobody wanted to hear about the war. People were sick to death of it. It was a time to live.

But he wondered if he'd be able to catch up. To life. To Isbe…the man she wanted. The husband she saved herself for. He had the guts to say it might be him. He couldn't believe his own nerve. But already…he couldn't bear to think he might lose her. The feel of her lips was still on his from those good night kisses. When he was with her…she made him feel like anything…could happen. As soon as he left her…the ghosts.

She wondered if she was enough? She was the good meal…a feast. She might kill him. But that didn't stop the wanting.

The clover…damn. A sign from God? It was a one in ten thousand shot. He knew that from the army. They bet on that kind of shit. And nobody, no time, just looked down and found one as quickly as she had. That was some kind of divine deal, that's what he knew.

He sighed as Jasper and Em got in and slammed their doors, rocking his full gut. They'd left because the girls threw them out. They had to work come morning. They were solid citizens…those girls.

The monkeys understood duty, but as they were now, they were ready to go all night. They would. But they'd pulled it in and said a reluctant farewell.

"Hey, pull around the block," Eddie said. He was revved, he was wired.

Emmie drove along the trees that lined the back of Isbe's house. "Pull up there and stop," Eddie directed from the backseat.

Em skimmed the curb and hit the brake. "Fucker…let's call it a night," he whined.

Eddie had never seen Em so worried about blowing it with a dame. He got out of the backseat and stood there looking. He could see a house through the woods. He went in there, between two pin-oaks. Jasper followed. They walked a hundred yards with the ground sloping downwards. There was a small creek, narrow enough that a wide step would cross it. Other side the ground sloped up, bordering the yards to the houses on Isbe's street.

Isbe's house was down a ways. The two men walked in that direction, and they were soon standing in the trees behind her yard.

"Fuck a duck," Eddie said low, his hands on his hips. Isbe's house was lit like a Christmas tree, the screendoor closed, but the heavy door open, a welcome to any fucker around…the radio on the patio still played. Rose's house was shut up tight.

"Those girls…," Jasper said. "I told Alice to lock up. Look at this shit."

Jasper pointed out the cigarette butts that littered the ground. Someone had stood here, in this very spot…many times before.

Eddie ran his shoe over some of the debris. "Camels." He squatted and looked the nearest ones over. They weren't that old.

He straightened up and looked at Isbe's house again. Anyone could stand here and watch. Three beautiful girls who believed in the goodness of their fellowmen. He'd welcomed the privacy of Isbe's yard for his own selfish reasons, but this was too private.

Em came along, asking what the hell was going on in his loud as hell whisper.

Eddie pointed to the trash mixed in the mud, and Em got quiet.

"Go show up on their porch…scare some sense into them," Em said, the gorilla Eddie knew, willing to risk Rose's wrath need be.

"Nah," Eddie said. He'd been doing some recon, planning for the future, the near future hopefully, looking for a way he could get to her house without leaving the Buick in front.

But tonight, when they'd already said good-bye, how to explain he'd been in these woods? He was standing right where this unknown fucker stood. She wouldn't like it…him creeping in her trees.

He motioned the others to follow. They piled back in the Buick.

"Drive back to her house," Edward told Em.

"You gonna tell them?" Emmie said to him in the mirror.

"I'm gonna tell them to close that door and make sure it's locked," Eddie said, not liking to explain every little thing when it was obvious.

Em drove around and Eddie had his door open before Em came to a full stop. He heard Jasper behind him. He went up to the door and knocked. Just like he thought, it whipped right open, Little Bits standing there in her buttoned up robe, her hair carefully arranged in a hairnet, her toothbrush in her hand, her eyes going wide and her mouth popping open.

"Did you know it was us?" Jasper said over Eddie's shoulder.

She shook her head.

"You should ask before you open the door," Jasper said pushing past Eddie to go to her.

Eddie said, "Where's Isbe?"

He heard her on the stairs and Alice widened the door, seemed to notice the toothbrush in her hand. She quickly stuck it in her pocket.

"What's the matter?" Isbe asked, wearing her robe like before. She had a sash tied tightly on her small waist. She had these curves, same ones he'd had his hands on all day. He pushed past Alice and the baboon so he could get closer to her.

"We were just noticing how this place sets up, the woods back there and no houses in front. We got it in mind you might not have locked the backdoor," Eddie said.

Isbe held her hairbrush, and her beautiful hair was so long and glossy he had to put his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't reach to touch.

"Really?" Isbe asked seeming doubtful they'd returned just for this.

"We couldn't remember if you girls locked up," Eddie said again, and he hated repeating.

Isbe's lips formed the 'wh' for 'what,' was his guess, and she shook her head a little. "Did my dad put you up to this?"

"Don't know him," Eddie said quick, intending to add, 'You didn't introduce us…remember?' but he didn't tag all of that on the end.

"Okay fellas, what is this really?" Isbe asked folding her arms.

"Really?" Eddie said while Alice and Jasper stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten the important issue with the door. Jasper peeled the hairnet off of Alice's head and stuck it in his pocket and she was swatting at his hands and laughing.

"I didn't realize there's no houses over there," Eddie said, ignoring the baboon and his girl.

"So?" Isbe asked with a smile, stepping closer to him, taking him by the front of his shirt.

"So that's a perfect place for peepers," he said, conscious of her hands. But Jasper's antics with Alice were making him mad. He wasn't kidding around here.

"Eddie…I grew up here. And you know I can lock my door. Do it every night," she kind of sang this a little before rising on her tip toes and kissing him on the mouth.

"What about right now? Is it locked right now?" he asked, trying to keep to the mission and so glad he came back here to feel her warm sweet lips again.

But now she was scowling a little. She smelled so damn good he leaned closer just to breathe.

"Eddie I already have one copper in my life," she said, and kissed him one more time real quick.

He grabbed her then, his hands moving on her upper arms. "Humor me?"

She swallowed, "Rodger dodger." She saluted, then smiled.

Oh, she was cute. "Still got that clover?" he said, ignoring Jasper's snort.

"Yeah," she said. "I put it under my pillow."

He was pleased. "You think it will turn into money?"

She was almost up against him now, then she was and his arms were around her. Em beeped the horn.

Jasper moved toward the kitchen holding Alice's hand. That one was on his heels giggling and chattering. Eddie craned his neck to see him locking that back door but Alice wanted to go out to turn off the radio and they were messing around.

"I don't want to scare you," Eddie said low voiced attention all on Isbe, "but you girls alone…."

"Oh," Isbe groaned, "I get it all the time, Eddie. We're sensible."

"You ever see anything…call the cops," he said, "then you call me. I got a phone in my building…no fuck that, you call Em and he'll get right over here. He's got a phone in his house. You call Em. Get the number from Rose. You got a weapon in here?"

She was looking at him like she was losing patience. Em beeped again.

"Stop worrying about us." She had one brow raised. So cute.

"You close your curtains at night…upstairs? You careful about that? Just because there's no house back there…if someone wanted…they could stand back there…you got to think of this." He was touching her hair now, her face.

"Eddie," she whispered, "we're fine you big lug."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Let's keep it that way."

Jasper went by and tugged on him. "Say goodnight," Jasper said.

Eddie kissed her once more and let go of her. Like before, he didn't want to leave her. What was this?

"I'll dream about you," she said as he pulled away. His last view of her was in that robe, hair like silk, sweet and girlish, eyes rich and deep, her hand still toward him.

Alice said goodnight to Jasper and with some hesitation, they closed the door as Eddie cleared the threshold and backed away.

Jasper was laughing to himself. "Fucker," he said, a good joke.

"Don't talk," Eddie said back.

They got in the car and with Em grousing around, they drove off.

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Sunday night went quickly. Eddie slept like a rock. He got up early Monday morning and assessed the damage in his mirror. He still looked like a punk. Isbe was right to ignore him at Tillman's. She'd protected him…from himself. He didn't like that, it felt weak, but he understood.

His clothes were dirty so he finished gathering his laundry into the duffel and hiked it down to the gal who ran the cleaners. She asked about his face in her bad English, pointing at her own cheek, and he laughed and didn't even try to explain. Some Irish fucks, that was all. Not worth talking about.

He bought a paper and a cup of coffee at the diner and sat in a booth looking through the want ads. Jasper came in. Their buildings weren't far apart, and this diner was between both. He'd cleaned up too, but he still looked fucked.

Jasper sat across from him and the waitress brought another cup and the pot, filled Eddie's, filled Jasper's. He ordered two eggs scrambled and bacon. Eddie wasn't hungry for anything yet, then he was and said, "Give me the same as him." He loved fresh eggs after all the powdered ones they'd eaten.

"I'm going over to Fifth and looking at that appliance store," Eddie said. He'd had all that radio school.

"I'm gonna see my uncle. Sure you don't want to come?"

"Nah. We don't have cards. You see what he can do for you."

"You think Unkie Carl will come through?" he said.

Eddie shrugged. "You know what I think? You got a better chance on your own. Meantime…it's nice havin' wheels."

Jasper laughed and poured some of his coffee on his saucer and sipped.

"Why the fuck you always do that? I thought the army cured you of that tea party shit," Eddie said.

Jasper laughed some before sipping again, noisily too. When he was done he said, "Alice says we got to clean up the language."

"Oh yeah? Little Bird says that?"

"She says it hurts her ears." He looked in his cup grinning like a dick.

"I thought we had cleaned it up," Eddie said eyes back on the paper.

"You and Em should listen to yourselves," Jasper said and Eddie checked to see if this baboon was serious.

"Fucker…you hear your own self?" Eddie said.

"I'm doing better. We need to leave all the fucks out."

"Yeah. We do." He wiped over his face. "But Em's got the ride."

They laughed then.

"You get the speech too?" Eddie asked.

"On what we won't be doing?" Jasper. "I heard."

"Ain't been told no in a while," Eddie said.

"These girls…they're different than our usuals," Jasper noted. "And that clover…fucker you're gonna end up married."

"The hell? That's you," Eddie said. "Where's that hairnet right now? It's in your pocket, ain't it you stupid baboon?"

Jasper smiled but he flushed red and that hadn't happened in a while.

"It is," Eddie grinned.

"Fuck you," Jasper said, on edge.

"Kinda handy with those fucks. Better watch it. I turn you upside down right now I could shake that net out," he said.

"You sound like the gorilla."

"Yeah? Changing the subject? You moog," Eddie said, "fucking doo-dad."

But look who was changing the subject. That clover…under her pillow. Waiting on some Irish tooth fairy. He could sneak in there and take it and leave a ring. Now that would be some real Leprechaun shit.

"Ed?" Jasper said sharp.

"What?"

"You're moonin'."

"You're outta your mind."

The waitress brought their breakfasts then.


	19. Chapter 19

Hard Hearted 19

"The warehouse is full of them," Lou Sanger was saying to Eddie as he rolled back one side of the big red double doors to the massive brick building in the downtown Chicago neighborhood.

Inside the dark cavern was an appliance graveyard. They moved around a few versions of wringer washing machines, Maytags, Uptons, and even a couple remnants of Mighty Thors, to where a small city of broken radios were piled like building blocks.

He followed Lou through the stacks for a few minutes.

"I can get some of these working," Eddie said.

"You think?"

"I'll use the ones too busted for parts. Let me see what I can do."

"You get some of these working and sell them on your own time, split the money with me, but don't tell Sal," the short, stout dark haired man said in between chomps on his stinking Cigarillo.

Sal was Lou's brother. The two of them owned the appliance store where Eddie had gone looking for work. But Sal was more of a silent partner. That's what Lou said. Sal only showed up to do the books and rant and rave. Didn't sound too silent to Eddie.

The deal was forming as they spoke. Eddie would rent space in the back of Lou's shop for radio repair. When he was caught up on legitimate customers, he could bring some of these broken radios in from the warehouse and try to get them going. He'd sell them around, split the money with Lou and have the cash to pay his shop rent, and maybe more. There were several hundred sets in this building. Lou had obtained them during the war as part of a promotion to stir up business. A broken radio meant a five dollar savings off a new appliance.

Eddie was already calculating how he'd get ten bucks a piece.

"Yeah, hell yeah," Eddie said. Fuck Sal. He shook hands with Lou. Opportunity was presenting itself as suddenly as a dead body in the trunk of a Buick had.

He was flying. Life...was interesting. Isbe. Work. He'd find a way through it all. After Europe…he'd be damned if civilian life would beat him.

In Lou's store he set to sweeping right away, organizing the space where he'd work. It was about ten by ten, cut off from the rest of the place by a counter. There were some shelves on the back wall, a decent worktable, a lamp, even his own ashtray. He went back and forth to the warehouse and brought a dozen sets into his area, different manufacturers, cathedral styles, box types, all of them what they called All-American Fives-five tubes and a ballast.

According to Lou, Sal came on Fridays to do the books, so Eddie should be okay working out in the open without this other duck leaning over his shoulder. He had no wish to get between Cain and Abel, but he'd help Cain fuck Abel over if it meant he could make some dough.

He needed tools. There were some here, but they hadn't been taken care of and he wanted his own. But he made do cause he was itching to get busy. He started to take the first set apart.

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He had two working radios when he left Lou's that evening. He had them sold before he grabbed dinner, one to the waitress who asked about them sitting next to him in the booth, the other to the cookie in back. The waitress gave him cash, two dollars of it her tips, so his pockets were heavy and jingling, and the other eight she paid in singles. Cookie was letting him run a ten dollar tab. So he owed Lou all the cash.

He picked up his laundry and hoofed it to his room.

"Fucker," Em said, already in his room cause that Jell-O brain who ran the desk downstairs would let anyone come in here, "where you been?"

"Working," he said, and it felt good to say it, but the look on Em's face…always some shit.

"Speaking about it…we got a delivery to make. I didn't want to cut you and Jasper out."

"What kind of delivery?"

"It's a bag of potatoes. Burlap. And some blood," Em said.

"Did you look inside?"

"No. It was in the trunk…like always, the address pinned on the bag."

"Where do we take it?"

"We throw it in front of a guy's house…his front door. We shouldn't be seen. It's recommended."

"How you know all this?" He was pulling off his shoes and socks.

"Phone call. Some moog with the Irish. He said not to mess with it."

"What's the address?"

"Nice neighborhood. East side. And that's not all."

Eddie held his breath and Em reached in the front of his shirt and brought out a stack…of money. Tens. He was grinning now. "Fifty apiece. And we get to keep the car."

"For good?"

"For now."

"Fucker, we earned that car."

Em shrugged. "Got to keep earning it is my guess."

Eddie reached out his hand and Em laid the money in it. "About time," Eddie said, but he was smiling. New tools. "You call Rose?"

"Yeah. I figure we go over there first. The pool thing is making a noise. We go in and fix stuff…you know?"

Eddie liked the plan but he had to laugh. Em didn't go to broad's houses and fix stuff. "Afraid your mug's too ugly to hold her?" he said.

Em laughed, "Just tightening the bolts."

Tightening the bolts. "First we swing by the hardware before it closes. I want to buy a few things."

"Zip-ah-dee-doo-dah," Em said as Eddie dumped his clean clothes on the bed so he could change.

Life was suddenly a cornucopia of goodness and he was helping himself. There was work…and work. But all of it paid one way or another.

Things were turning around.

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Seemed Isbe was still dressed from work. She had on a white blouse and a full skirt with big flowers. She had a belt at her waist. And her legs…nylons. And heels with this strap over her ankle. And her hair was down, a pompadour up top, and red lips. Damn.

Could anything be more adorable than this girl? Rose was class and Little Bits was candy, but this girl of his sent out her own kind of radio waves, straight to his gut.

He had his hands in his pockets again. He had stuff to offer today. One fucking day made all the difference and from here on, he wouldn't come hat in hand.

Dinner was over, grilled cheese and vegetable soup, but Eddie had already eaten so he only ate one sandwich, fed to him in small pieces by Isbe. But Alice had made another pie and now Isbe was in the kitchen mixing ice cream on the stove. The bucket was on the back porch, on the picnic table and they needed some big strong man to turn the crank, Isbe told him.

"That's why we brought Em," Eddie said and Isbe swatted his arm. As soon as the others went outside he put his arms around her waist and got that thrill he always got when he touched her. She was stirring that mix, but she turned her face and kissed him.

"I missed you," she said.

"Oh yeah?" he nuzzled her neck.

"Better not make me burn this," she said. "Alice has her heart set on ice cream."

He moved her hair and kissed her neck. He was in a mood, always around her, and once he kissed her neck he kept going to her shoulder and back up again to her ear.

She was breathing and squirming a little. "Eddie," she whispered.

"Should I stop?" he said, not stopping.

She groaned and switched off the burner. She kept stirring, and she hadn't said he should stop.

The radio went on from outside. Jasper came back in for the tools him and Eddie had left in the car. They both had new tools in new tool boxes, Eddie's for radio repair, Jasper's for working with his uncle in construction. It was a start.

The tools weren't in the trunk, they were on the backseat. The sack of bloody potatoes was in the trunk.

Before Jasper came back and while the others mingled out in the yard, Eddie ran his hands up and down Isbe's sides. He loved the way she was formed. It pleased him and excited him all at once.

"Eddie," she said again, this little voice, still not stopping him.

"I like this blouse and this skirt," he said, "those shoes. Those nylons." Then he crushed her to him, "Those legs. Damn."

He was bent over, his face buried in her neck. Her soft hair smelled so good. He asked her what it was and she told him Breck shampoo.

Then he let her go and stood back and she caught herself a little on the stove. She looked back at him, flushed face. "I think this is ready." She meant the mix, but he was ready…more than…ready to go upstairs.

"Still got that clover?"

She giggled. "Yes." She took the pan from the stove and he moved a little so she could go to the screen and onto the porch.

"I'm gonna run upstairs and look."

"You better not."

"Under your pillow, right?"

"I said no."

"You got something up there you don't want me to see? Another guy?"

She opened her mouth and made a sound and pushed the screen with her hip. She went out and he followed her out there…followed that skirt, those shoes. If she looked like this at work…no wonder those old bags were trying to shove their goofy sons at her. Who wouldn't want this china doll for a daughter in law? Fuck those grannies.

She asked him to get the ice and the bag of salt and he went back inside to do that. Em and Jasper were already taking the filter apart for the pool. Too many cooks in there. He wanted Isbe. He had shit to tell her, something to give her.

When he got back outside Rose had Cokes and beers. This was peacetime shit. This was good…worth the fight. This was the life he wanted and he hadn't known what it was but it was playing out before him. It was this.

They sat in two lawn chairs, knee to knee, and he had a beer, she drank a Coke, and Jasper had left off with the pump to crank the bucket. Alice was talking his ear off and Rose sat by Em while he worked.

Isbe crossed her legs and Eddie reached down and encircled her ankle right over the strap on that shoe. He could easily pinch his fingers around her ankle. He said so, and slowly brought her leg up, the shoe in his lap. He hated to remove something so perfect as that shoe on this foot, but he did that, the little buckle on the strap coming loose in his capable hand. He slid that shoe off and set it carefully beside his chair, then put his hand out for the other foot and keeping her skirt pulled over her knees all modest she gave him her other foot and he removed that shoe too, then he rubbed her little narrow stocking covered feet with his big hands. He rubbed and rubbed, and she had her head tilted watching him, his hands, his eyes. "Oh Eddie," she said.

He checked that the others were busy, then he slowly let his hand glide up her leg, to her knee, then back down, letting the shape of her silk covered calf, that sweet curve, grace his hand over and over, then doing the same to the other one.

Her legs were parted some now, her skirt bunched between them. If it was just the two of them, he'd go higher, past her knees, under her skirt and feel the tops of her nylons, the garters. He'd be under that skirt, that petticoat. He wanted all of her. If he could kiss that soft skin on her thigh….

Stone cold sober. He wanted the whole deal.

Freight train running through, this feeling. Want left in its tracks.

He forgot he was staring.

"Eddie," she about whimpered. "You turn those eyes on me…."

He looked down, at her legs as he moved his hand slow, up and down.

"I like your legs," he said, blunt.

She laughed a little, but the flames were in her cheeks.

Alice announced the ice cream was ready. While they ate he told her about his job, most of it. And he gave her that little clover pin, that cheap thing he'd grabbed at the dimestore while Em gassed up. She got a kick out of it, said she'd wear it…pinned to her full slip…just for him…everyday.

Fuck a duck.


	20. Chapter 20

Hard Hearted 20

The cookie at the diner sold radios for Eddie. He hiked the price to twelve, put three bucks in his apron pocket and for a dollar a set Eddie would eat making his ten dollar tab the beginning of a very good deal.

If the owner found out they were screwed, but it was some old lady lived in a hotel and never came to look. Her bookkeeper did, but what did that moog know? That's what Cookie said.

So for now, smooth sailing, and they sold a set fairly regularly cause Eddie made sure the box looked good as new. The dough was trickling in—pennies from heaven.

That same week he started to look for new digs, but he was never home anyway except to change his clothes and sleep. And he could sleep anywhere. He had. Long as he wasn't getting strafed it didn't matter.

Except for this…he wanted a decent place to bring Isbe. She was hesitant to bring him upstairs at the house her father owned. But if he had a place…it would be theirs alone, no one to answer to but the crickets. Fuck Rose's rules, her old man's guilt, the wide-eyed wonder child Jasper couldn't get enough of, and fuck Isbe's worry that he'd be taking what belonged to her future moog of a husband. He knew that guy, saw him everyday in the mirror when he shaved. That chimp gave him a green light.

He needed his place. His bed. His woman. His rules.

Tossing the potatoes had netted twenty-five bucks apiece. He found this fascinating. A dead body fifty, potatoes twenty-five. They'd all three about pissed themselves laughing. Jasper held two corners, him the others. They swung that stinking sack hard, aimed at the poor bastard's door and let it fly…boom! It hit like a bomb and him and Jasper ran to the car like fucking bank robbers, laughing so hard while Em peeled out.

And business was leaking in to the shop he rented from Lou. He was a busy motherfucker. An industrious ant, pencil behind his ear instead of a cigarette, screwdriver in his hand instead of a bottle of beer, or his weapon, or a grenade, one girl in his arms instead of various warm girls who let him run rough-shod over their attributes. Oh, he was a saint now. Almost.

But here's the deal. He needed the chicanery they pulled in that Buick like an offset to everything that was normal. He wanted normal. It wasn't bad. And he wanted Isbe. Wanted…and wanted. But he liked his secrets with the monkeys. Needed that dark side shit. It felt just crazy enough…to keep him sane. And the money wasn't bad either.

Thursday evening he was in his room sprucing up, getting ready to take Isbe fishing. They were all going, but him and Isbe would have their own boat and he'd make sure to put enough space between them and the monkeys for a while. He wanted that time with her. He couldn't wait.

First thing he'd do is feel for that clover. If it was under her dress or blouse, he wanted to know it. All day he thought about it there, if a thought came he didn't want, he'd think about that clover. It helped.

But it took forever to get her out on that water. Still they had a couple good hours of light. He finally had cast his line. This pole was new. He never went home to claim his shit after the war. He didn't remember what had been so important he had to keep it anyway.

He let the current take the line and he pulled back a little and let it drift again, working the bait. He wanted to impress the shit out of her and catch a big fish.

She wore shorts. Telling her…showing her how much he loved her legs had paid off. She didn't want to fish, she wanted to watch him, so here she was wearing these blue shorts and a blouse with little blue flowers, and it was sheer enough he could see that clover pinned on the strap of her brassiere. He had yet to touch it, the clover, the brassiere, or the breasts it covered, but future prospects were rosy as her nipples might be.

She wore her bobby socks and her saddle shoes, just like that first night. She had a wide brimmed hat on, tied down with a scarf, and sunglasses. She looked like a movie star.

They heard Little Bits squeal from the boat she and Jasper shared quarter mile away. She was standing, and he heard Jasper's normally quiet voice loud enough as he told her how to reel it in. In no time Jasper held a net with a good sized wiggling fish.

"Oh, it's on now," Eddie said to Isbe and they laughed.

But if he wasn't keen to impress her, he wouldn't care. He had no desire to clean fish. He did want a fish fry though.

She asked about his work and he told her all the things he could. God he made himself sound like a shiny fucker.

Then she told him he should ask about her day. That's how it went…she asked…then he should.

"I figure you want me to know you'll tell me. I'm all ears."

She smiled. "Oh…if you ask…then I think you 'want' to know."

Why was she telling him this? Had she talked to the girls about how ill-schooled they were in the secret knowledge of being real boyfriends? Or was it just him? Did she talk about him being a pig or something?

"I do something to make you think I'm not interested?" he asked.

She shifted a little and he ogled her legs and she didn't know he'd had a flash all the way to her white underwear. That little sliver of white almost blinded him. Ho boy.

He was reeling in the line to check the bait and throw it back out. "I just saw the stars and Mars," he said, laughing a little.

She gasped and adjusted the legs of her shorts, rocking the boat some.

"I'm just teasing," he said, seeing she was not laughing.

"No you're not. You're not a gentleman, Eddie. I didn't mean for you to see that."

"What?" he smiled, working his worm.

"The stars and Mars," she repeated sourly, her legs tight together.

He couldn't help but laugh. She wanted to kill him and he'd always had the urge to laugh when he was in real trouble.

"I'll recover," he told her, "don't worry about me."

"If I wasn't trapped in this boat with you I'd storm off," she said lifting her chin.

"Lady Luck is on my side then," he said. "Or again, I mean." He smiled.

"You use that handsome face, don't you? I guess you're used to saying things you shouldn't…getting by with it."

He knew this was a minefield. But hell…, "Most dames don't find me as handsome as you do," he lied.

"Pretty is as pretty does," she said like his school teacher.

"Yes ma'am," he said. "I agree." He raised his brows a few times.

"You embarrass me," she said looking away.

He reached for her then, her knee, since she'd folded her arms and made her hands unavailable.

"Hey…I'm joking…Isbe…look at me." He was trying not to laugh. She was just so cute in that silly hat.

"I don't want to," she pouted. "You'll put your spell on me again. Lady killer."

He guffawed. "No…nah…I'm just a…."

"A chimpanzee," she scolded, facing him again.

He took his hand away. "Whoa. Alright then."

Alice and Jasper were squealing again. Alice was pulling in another one.

"They must be over the magic spot," he said, and she ignored him.

"I said...," he shifted, laying his pole in the boat and getting on his knees before her. She was looking at him like he was crazy, clinging to her seat cause the boat was rocking wild, and he reached carefully for her sunglasses and pulled them off her beautiful face. "Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers," he said.

She had to laugh then and he smiled. "Sorry I…peeped."

She hit him on the arm. "Stop," she said with a pained smile. "You're so…damn good looking. And don't tell me women don't notice. I've got eyes."

"I'm sorry," he said again. He loved apologizing for being handsome and irresistible. He was combing his hair straight back for the last couple of days. She seemed to like it.

She was shaking her head at him, and her arms came unknotted and she put her hands on his sides and he maneuvered under the hat canopy and kissed her. He'd been holding the side of the boat and her glasses with one hand, while the other went back to her knee, and he let that one ride a little higher on her thigh, and go under the leg of her shorts some. He felt about sixteen creeping in like that. Her skin was so soft. He deepened his kiss and she gripped him more tightly and he was walking that v-shaped aisle between her legs on his knees. That got him going, and he was kissing her like a horny ape, letting her have it. He dropped her glasses and let his hands run all over her back to her little plump rump.

Then one hand moved up her side and over to that clover. He fingered it through her blouse, his wrist touching her breast. Oh yeah she was the sweetest little sex-pot.

"Eddie," she panted pushing against him.

He sat back on his heels. He felt his rod jerk next to him. He had a bite. He didn't give a fuck, not really, but she screamed about it, and he grabbed the thing, then he got involved, reeling it in just to watch her go crazy.

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They packed up by the Buick's head lights. Eddie watched Em run to the trunk to check it was empty before the girls walked back there to dump the gear they carried. They had a cooler filled with a nice catch. Tomorrow being Friday they were going to have a fry-up at Isbe's.

"I smell something fishy," Em said sniffing when he got in the car. Everyone laughed. Jasper and Alice were necking immediately, twisted around each other like cobras. Eddie and Isbe sat tangled beside them. Rose sat glued to Emmie in front.

Isbe was nearest to Jasper and Alice, but Eddie kept her pulled in to him, her legs between his. He was kissing her and fingering that clover and the strap, running his fingers under it, moving the weight of her breast without really touching it.

They were serious now. She was the one struggling to accept this, not him. It just was. He couldn't believe how quickly they got to her house. He was angry at Em. He must have set a record for speed. But then he couldn't move on Rose while he was driving.

So they unloaded and they were quiet at first, then they got louder. The monkeys cleaned the fish in the backyard by the porchlight. They wrapped the fish and put them in a pan in Isbe's refrigerator for the next night's feast.

The men washed at the hose, and they cleaned up their mess and washed the cooler, leaving it sitting on its side to air.

Eddie went inside to tell Isbe goodnight. The girls had to go in to get ready for that last day of work. She wasn't downstairs so he called up to the second floor. "Isbe?"

"Come up," he heard.

He lost no time. His feet were pathetically swift. He took the stairs two, three at a time. Soon as he got up there, he saw there was a closet to the left, and to the right her bedroom door, then a bathroom at the end of the hall. He went swiftly to her room.

She sat with her back to him, her hair long against her back. She sat at a vanity table, looking at him in her mirror while she brushed her hair. She wore what looked like a full slip, nightie thing, with a long sheer robe over it. The clover pin was on the mirrored table. He looked around. It was girlie in here. She had things girls saved, but not too much. Her bed was narrow. Everything was lavender. He went to her window, looked out at the trees, and pulled her shade. "You close this at night?"

"Yes," she said.

He took a couple of steps and stood behind her and took the brush out of her hand. He pulled all of her hair behind her shoulders. He brushed the long chocolate colored strands, letting his hand follow the strokes. The top of that silky thing she wore showed the shadow between her breasts. He brushed through a few more times, then slowed. Carefully he set the brush before her, then put his hands on her shoulders.

"Why'd you let me come up?" he asked.

She was shaking her head. "I don't know. I'm asking for trouble."

"You think I'm trouble?"

He moved his long fingers to massage her a little.

"You could get me in trouble," she whispered.

"Isbe they are leaving," Alice called up the stairs.

"I can tell them to go without me," he said.

She turned quickly on the seat and he kept his hands on her.

"Listen to me, I wanted to show you this…me. I've been trying not to say it all week. I'm sorry I was so…I'm not such a shrew…I just…I love you."

Now that did throw him. She made these leaps….

She raised that brow. "It's customary when someone says it…."

"When I'm ready," he said back with a firmness that surprised the hell out of himself.

Her lip trembled. "You don't love me?"

"I didn't say one way or the other, did I?" he reminded her. Taking charge was the only way he could get some breathing room here.

She stood up and he fumbled one step back. She was a knock-out all the time, but in this long slip thing…. The sash on the robe was not tied. He let his eyes drag down. He could see the outline of her underwear.

"You trying to kill me? I thought you loved me," he tried to say smoothly but he sounded like a chimp.

She didn't smile. "Everytime you leave I cry," she said.

"I make you sad?" What fuck?

She shook her head. "You make me feel."

He wanted to take her hand and make her feel, like that first night at Shiney's, make her feel how hard his dick was right now. "You torture me," he said back, no smile either.

"Eddie," Jasper yelled from below.

"I'm trying to give you something," Isbe said, "cause I know…you want more."

"Should I tell them to go?" He had to be at work in the morning, but he'd get home when the sun came up, no problem.

"Eddie…I can't. I'm trying to figure out…how to keep you without…losing…my beliefs." She took his hand. "Was it wrong to bring you up here?"

"Bring me up here wearing that? I'm not complaining…but…I'm confused. Or you are." He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned forward and kissed the top of her head.

When he pulled back she lunged forward and grabbed on to him. He groaned cause…shit!

He put his hands on her arms. Em hit the horn outside.

"I don't know what to do," she said.

"Isbe…it's alright. No crying tonight. I'll see you tomorrow night. We'll bring the drinks and I'll get a cake from the bakery. Alright doll?"

"I feel like such a fool and you're being so patient."

"Nah…nah…don't apologize. I may be up all night thinking about," he motioned the length of her, "this…you. But don't ever apologize for something like this."

Mustering all semblance of self-control he went downstairs but later, he couldn't recall the ride home.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for all the encouragement, corrections, sharing of personal info. I put this out and if you connect and let me know, or care enough to put in two cents, well I'm very grateful and touched.

Hard Hearted 21

"That's my fish…the first one. That's Freddie," Alice said as Em helped himself to the big crunchy fillet.

"You want this fish for yourself short stuff?" Em said, the fish mid-air on the spatula

"No! I couldn't eat Freddie. I'm eating one of the ones I don't know," she said, and they all laughed then.

There was potato salad made by Isbe, Jello salad and corn on the cob rolled in butter from Alice, cucumbers and tomatoes in vinegar and cole-slaw from Rose. Jasper brought the beer and Rose and Em fried the fish at her place, cornmeal and a cast iron skillet. And Rose wore an apron while they did it.

Eddie brought the chocolate cake from the Italian bakery near the shit-hole where he lived.

They ate outside, like usual. Isbe was in her swimming suit, her hair in a ponytail. She kept breaking off pieces of fish, dipping them in the sauce she made with ketsup and horseradish and feeding Eddie little bites. He grabbed her hand and sucked the grease off a couple of her fingers.

She giggled and got red, not that anyone was looking. It was a feed at the trough. Eddie was ready to die and go to heaven this food was that good, and her potato salad? Best in his life.

They quit horsing around and he cleaned his plate twice.

Isbe was so full she lay in a lounge chair and groaned holding her stomach.

"Let's get in the water," Eddie said leaning over her chair.

She was curled like a baby on her side. His baby. "Eddie I can't."

"You got your suit on."

"I know," she groaned, keeping her eyes closed, "but…it's just for show. I can't get in."

Oh. For show. For him. "It your girl time?" he whispered.

She opened one eye and looked up. "Eddie."

"What? This some rare disease?"

She tried not to laugh. "Yes."

He was running the backs of his fingers up and down from her hip to the back of her knee.

"You want something?"

"Um…just you," she said her eyes closed again.

"Well move over," he said squeezing into the chair, getting behind her.

"You can't fit in here," she said, "big lug."

But he could. He did. He was spooning her. He put his long leg over hers, planting his foot on the cushion to keep off the weight.

She kept her body neatly folded like a good little nun but she lifted her head and placed it on his arm. He knew the muscle there was more than adequate to sustain her. He had everything she needed, actually, when it came to that…the physical.

His other hand was on her stomach, moving just a little. He didn't want to disturb something. "That good?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You mind me…rubbing a little?"

"No," she sighed, "I don't mind you, Eddie."

She was so mellow. He wondered at the change. Yesterday she'd been so much fun to tease, ready to walk on water to get away from him, but this Isbe needed babied a little. He had her fanny tight against him. He chuckled some.

"What's funny?" she slurred, lightly elbowing him in the stomach.

"Nothing," he nuzzled her ear. "You. Me."

Then Em jumped in the pool and the coldest spray of water peppered them like a shower from the North Pole.

"Motherfucker," Eddie lifted his head and cursed. He lay back down, "Sorry baby, I meant to say nit-licking gorilla."

Isbe buried her face against his arm and laughed a little, groaned a little.

He licked some water off her ear. "Tired of me? Sick of me?"

She turned so she could look at him. "I'm kinda nuts about you," she said softly.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"Oh fuck no…I mean…that's exactly what I mean you slum runner," Em yelled having landed on Boardwalk with Jasper and Alice's hotels.

Alice didn't seem worried about language now. She was kicking her feet and shaking her head. "Pay up big brother," she yelled like a spitfire. She hugged on Jasper, and bounced on his leg.

Rose grabbed all the money she and Em had left out of Em's hand and threw it in front of Alice. "Here Simon and Simone Legree. We're done."

"Baby I was counting that out," Em protested.

"We're done for. Admit it," Rose said.

"Baby…I could borrow something…." Em tried to fight.

Eddie dumped his money in the middle of the board too. He wasn't getting in to lending Em his fake money. Anyway, him and Isbe were nearly broke, not that she seemed to care. She'd had her head on his leg for the last half hour. They'd barely been hanging on but once she quit, he lost interest in anything but her.

Alice and Jasper were hugging and kissing like they'd won a highrise.

"If I wouldn't have ate that fuckin' Freddie…," Em said.

"He was my lucky fish," Alice said. "He was working for me and Jaspie!"

The hooting and hollering that name brought made Alice turn a flaming red but she was standing her ground and waving her colorful fan of money in Em and Rose's faces.

It was crazy around here. Eddie nudged Isbe to sit up. She did, and he got up and stretched. Damn he hadn't needed that cake. "Hey," he said rubbing her shoulder. He reached down and scooped her right off the bench. She didn't weigh shit, a hundred and eleven she said. He hefted her a little bit. Then Jasper stood and scooped up Alice. She was only a hundred.

Jasper told her to straighten out and holding her by the waist he slowly lifted her over his head. She knew just what to do, letting her arms go up behind her, her head raised, he legs straight and toes pointed, these two looked ready for a photo shoot.

"Hey straighten out," Eddie said to Isbe.

"No," she groaned tightening her arms around his neck.

"She won't do it," he said, eager to beat Jasper at something since they'd caught the most fish, won Monopoly, and now he could lift Alice over his head like they were ready to grace the cover of a magazine.

"Don't get any ideas killer," Rose told Em standing and brushing cake crumbs off her shorts.

Em stood too and followed Rose into her house yammering all the way how they should have held out. He could have pulled them out of it.

Eddie moved in a slow circle with Isbe. "You want me to carry you upstairs?" he shot a quick look at Jasper who was carefully lowering Alice.

"That would be swell," she said softly.

He made for the screendoor, got the handle with three fingers, whipped it open and swept them inside.

He got to the stairs and hefted Isbe easy.

"I can walk," she said softly, a big grin.

He blew that thought away and went slowly up.

"Like Rhett," she said.

"Who?"

"Rhett Butler and Scarlett."

Oh yeah, the movie. These stairs were a little less grand than the ones Rhett took like a trooper.

"To the right," she said once he reached the top.

"I know…Scarlett," he answered. She giggled. Had it slipped her mind he'd been up here just last night?

He went in her room. Heck with the light. He went to her bed, laid her down, followed her down. He was on his side, and he gathered her in close.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I get really bad cramps sometimes. I'm sorry."

He laughed a little. "Sorry?" He rubbed her stomach again. "You got medicine?"

"Aspirin," she said. "But it doesn't help so much."

"Did you take some?"

"Yes. Rose gave it to me."

He would have offered to get that for her, but he didn't know.

"That's why I was so crabby yesterday. I'm sorry."

"No…." Yes.

She moved closer to him, her arms around him, her head on his chest, then her leg timidly moved onto his, and her foot probed a little and she pressed the arch onto the front of his farthest leg.

"I…like having you to hold onto," she said.

He tightened his hold a little. He knew what she meant. It was nice like this.

"I…I've thought about you up here…like this. Us…like this."

They were quiet for a minute. "Isbe," he laughed a little, "just lying here?"

She slapped his chest but it was very feeble and she squeezed him right after. "Sorry. What are you thinking about right now?"

"Oh, how you told me you always closed your shade and it was still up last night and it is tonight."

"That's what you're thinking of?" she said lifting her head.

He laughed a little. "Maybe."

"I do close it…most of the time. Geez, I can't believe that's the main thing."

"I didn't say it was the main thing."

"What is then…the main thing?"

He moved his arms some, his hands over her. "You."

She was quiet for a minute. "Me too. It's you, Eddie."

They held each other. He wasn't alone anymore. It felt good, what they made when they were together.

It was a soft bed and right now…he could sink into this with her….

And he did.

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

The pain set in about four in the morning. She breathed kind of heavy, but it was a great sound. That was his first thought. Then shit. He turned his head and he had a crook in his neck cause for someone who didn't weigh squat, she was weighing him down big time. He liked it and he needed to move.

He was supposed to work half day on Saturday. He eased out from under her. He stood, he stretched. He'd made it through the whole night without molesting her in anyway. He had more self-control than a high-priest. He'd also slept like the dead.

His shoes were downstairs with his street clothes. He was still in his trunks and his undershirt. The air in the room was cool, and he turned on her fan and worked the cover from beneath her. Blood. God, was she hemorrhaging?

His hand hit his leg and it was wet too, sticky. She had bled on him.

"Isbe, baby wake up," he said alarmed.

She stirred from deep in, it seemed.

She looked up at him. "Eddie?"

Well who the hell else would it be. "Do you feel alright, baby? You're bleeding…all over here."

She raised and gasped and looked down at the scarlet stains on her suit and the sheets. "Oh no." She grabbed for the covers and he helped her cover herself some.

"Is this normal? Should we…go for the doctor or something?"

"No…I just…I slept so deeply. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no. I gotta get to work. If you're alright. I can get Alice or something?"

"No. No. Just…." She sat up more and pushed the hair back from her face.

"Should I run you a bath?"

"No. Eddie." She couldn't look at him.

"Isbe…call me later, okay? I'll write the number at work. If you think you're okay…I gotta get home so I can…."

"Of course…go…go."

"Hey…Isbe…look at me."

"I can't. You spend the night and I bleed on you? Who does that?"

"Isbe…hey." He knelt at the side of the bed and gently pulled her hands from her face. "You gonna call me later?"

Her eyes were shiny, but she nodded.

"Allright. I…had some great sleep," he said. "You're like…a teddy bear." He laughed.

"Thanks, Eddie."

He laughed at that. "You're welcomed," he said. He kissed her cheek, and he got out of there so she wouldn't have to look at the blood on his trunks and start bawling.

When he got downstairs he got dressed in her living room. By the phone he wrote his number at work and his name, more boldly than Jacob Black had written his. While he was at it he reached up to the board and tore Black's name down. He didn't know who the hell he was, but he'd learned to follow his gut.

He put Black's number in the garbage, then he went out the backdoor so no one would see him, even though the sun wasn't up. Just like he planned he went to the woods, tried to find that spot with the cigarette trash. He couldn't find it in this light. He was out of the woods and on his way, pretty quick. He wore his trunks under his pants. Her blood didn't bother him at all. He wasn't sick about it, but anything of hers…felt like his.

He was on the highway with his thumb out when it hit him. He was in love with her.

He loved her.

It was too quick, but life moved that way. His had. And he couldn't help what he felt. He didn't want to help it. It didn't need help, it was that natural, that real.

He loved Isbe Swan.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you all for letting me know.

Hard Hearted 22

During the war, metal went into the machines that drove the offensive. Now that metal was returning to the things that drove life in the U.S.A..

No place showed the common man the possibilities of the future like a new car lot, and an appliance store. During the war, Eddie was surrounded by the tank, the half-track, the guns, but here at Lou's he was in the new offensive geared toward the American housewife—the refrigerator, the range, and the washing machine. And with television ready to shake out the rug, Eddie had a front row seat for the explosion.

He was interested in all of it-how it was made, how it operated, rattled and oiled. Boiled. Cleaned…what was soiled. Waxed over and foiled. Toiled. And toiled.

But when Isbe Swan walked in the front doors, he saw it all in a personal way-after the 'I do's,' the sex, the wah-wah it's a boy's, all this stuff, a glistening electrified nest of modern metal marvels, would own him. He shook his head. And she deserved all of it…everything a monkey like him could give her. And he'd sign up. He knew it with a gleaming clarity. He was already marching…to her.

She had called him. Ten o'clock this morning Lou's phone rang and he got to it first. That time and the ten times before. When he heard her voice on the other end of that black receiver, it welled up…the feeling again…the pull. "Hey there," he said.

"I guess you got home alright. Before the rain."

"Yeah," he said. "Sun's out now."

"I know."

"So how about you come down here? I get off around one. I need to buy some new clothes. I was hoping you could help me. If you're better."

"Really?" her voice lit right up.

"Sure." He told her where the shop was, but he'd told her that before. She knew what buses to take.

"Heck with dat," he said. "Take a cab. On me."

"That's alright Eddie…."

"Don't argue about it. I'll see you at one. Tell the cabbie to wait and I'll go out when I see you."

"Are you sure?"

"Isbe…."

"Alright, Eddie. I'll be there with bells on."

He laughed at that, cause there was an electric bell wired to Lou's door.

"You know what else? Those shoes you had on the other night…with the straps?"

She giggled. "I can do that."

"And that pin…right?"

"Yeah. Always that…Eddie."

"Yeah. The rest I'll leave to you."

He hung up then. He rapped twice on the counter and got back to his shop.

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For the rest of the day his head snapped up every time a customer showed.

When she did come in Lou and his salesman Stan about broke their necks to get to her first. Those horny moogs. That dog Lou was a married man not that it ever slowed him down. Married guys…some were pigs, like the piece of paper they'd signed was meant for the bird cage.

He heard Isbe say, "I'm here for Eddie."

He had his hands in his pockets and he walked rapidly to the door. She had her hair rolled back from her forehead and a ponytail that laid on her shoulder, and a little yellow and white hat thing pinned on her head. She wore a pretty yellow dress that showed off her bust and her little waist, some white at the throat and a black bow. And those shoes.

She was beautiful. Inside, that's the word that broke free every time he saw her, even in the movies that time…beautiful. And he'd spent the night holding her in his arms.

These two greasy fuckers didn't have a chance.

"You got customers back there Lou," he reminded that one before he went to Isbe and took her little gloved hand in his. He kissed her knuckles like he was Rhett Butler.

"I'll be right back," he told her. He glared a little at Stan. "You left the door open out back."

That moog checked his fly.

"I mean the door," fucker, he added under his breath. He smiled weakly at Isbe then went outside and paid the cabbie.

"Say, that your girl?" the cabbie asked him.

"What's it to you, brother?" he asked, not friendly. "I find out you gave her a hard time…let's see cab 104…."

"Relax, mister. I can admire the goods, you lucky bastard."

He was going to tell him to keep the change, but kept the single and gave him a quarter instead.

He hurried back inside.

Stan had Isbe over by a big yellow range.

"You could come in and do some modeling around here. I know Lou would go for it. That face could launch a thousand electric refrigerators." Stan said all this garbage while he ogled Isbe up and down like some kind of lollipop.

She had her little purse in front of her bosom. But her face…she was alright.

"Thanks, Mr. Stan. I ever get thrown out on the streets…in a blizzard and need work, I might take you up on that." She laughed, and Stan looked a little confused.

"Hey," Eddie said, holding onto her arm again.

He pulled her off without a look back at that hillbilly. He ran her arm through his. "Someone must of left his cage open."

She was flushed. "Wow. Does he live with his mother?"

"He never had a mother." They walked through the model display kitchen, a metallic wonder in white. "You look nice. Feel okay?"

"I'll live. I can't believe you still want me around."

He smirked some. "I ain't disappointed so far."

Her perfect brows raised. "Maybe you're too easy to please."

He took her fingers in his hand. "Only with you."

That left her a little speechless, and he turned quick so she wouldn't see him smile.

"So what do you think of the place? This is Lou's," he said, sweep of his hand. "Oh and Sal's. Ain't seen him yet."

She looked around, turned a complete circle on those shoes he loved. "I'm impressed. Really. It's amazing. Stan said they are going to put televisions in the window. You'll have a crowd, just like the shop across the street."

"Yeah. Lou's an up and comer. And he has a payment plan. Imagine owing your soul to that fu…fruitcake," Eddie said while Isbe looked at the line of carpet sweepers.

She was admiring everything, running her little gloved hand over the top of a washing machine.

He took her arm. "Wearing my pin?"

Her fingers touched the center of her bra. "Yes."

Between her breasts? Yeah, that would do. "I wish I was a clover pin," he said.

She smiled and whispered, "Eddie," and he laughed too loudly.

"Come on back where the real stuff happens. I'm just finishing up."

He swept her toward his counter.

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After he closed up shop for the day they took the bus to his neighborhood and ate dinner on his tab. Cookie had sold another couple of sets so Eddie left eight dollars richer, ten for Lou, and him and his girl were well fed.

Once they were finished they walked to Marshall Fields. "You sure it's not too far?" he asked her. She had lost a lot of blood during the night. He had no idea if that was normal and he wanted to ask her but he knew she was embarrassed as hell about it. She needn't be. It was natural blood, not the kind he'd seen plenty of in the war, at the track and Mel's…in the Buick.

He put his cigarette in his mouth and stopped there on the sidewalk peeping his wallet, counting his money. He had thirty six bucks. A couple of girls walked by and gave him the eye. Shit. He didn't mean to look, he was just tucking his billfold into his back pocket. He gave Isbe a big smile cause it wasn't his fault. She put her arm through his, gawked at him some, then the two who'd passed, giggling as they looked back.

She was biting the lipstick off her plump bottom lip.

"Hey," he said pulling that slice of heaven free.

"I told you," she said.

"I ain't confused," he said. Then he kissed her, right on the street in front of God.

At the department store his plan was to pick out two shirts and a pair of pants so he could take Isbe out without looking like a bum. But he forsook that idea when they went through the lady's department. There was a blue dress on the form, and it wasn't any more alluring than the one she had on, but it was more form fitting, all the way to the knees where it flared out a little. She'd stop traffic in a dress like that…or at least stop his heart.

He could tell she liked it.

"Try it on," he said. "You feel alright?"

She nodded, holding to his arm. "I feel swell, Eddie."

"Go on and try that dress on. For me."

She was working that lip again. "I don't need another dress," she argued.

"I want to see it on you," he insisted. He went to a chair near the platform and the three big mirrors and sat. "I'll be right here."

By this time a saleswoman came over. "Can I help you?" she asked him.

He pointed to Isbe. "She wants to try on dat." He pointed to the blue dress.

"Oh…for the young lady?" she said.

Well who the hell else?

She was Madame Zora, she said. She went on about the dress and how lovely it would look on Isbe.

But when Isbe wasn't looking, Madame Zora winked at Eddie. He was with a dame for shit sake, and fancy or no she was old enough to be his real big sister, as in his mother.

Isbe gave in and went in the dressing room and he sat there and lit a smoke. Zora came out to work the dress off the mannequin. She stuck her ass this way and that, and hiked her leg up to show some skin and he kept himself looking bored while he puffed away.

She went in with the dress. Isbe probably had to stand there in her clover while this old broad did her circus act.

After five minutes he barely noticed the saleslady crouching behind, her hands on Isbe's arms as Isbe strode self-consciously forward.

Oh baby. She looked so…so damn perfect. Her figure was played out in that dress like a love song. They got married, she was wearing this thing…and then nothing…the rest of her life.

Married?

Or dinner. If they went to dinner, she was wearing this dress.

Isbe got free of her creepy shadow and stepped up on the platform. He was in the chair, looking up a little, like a worshipper. Now there were at least four of her, the real one and the three in the mirrors. He stood and hopped up next to her. He hadn't thought about it nor meant to. But there he stood, multiplied, like her, beside her, just looking. One of him for each one of her…even stevens.

Madame Zora was saying something and who the fuck cared. He had the right clothes he could hold his own beside Isbe, but he'd never be as good, as pure. But if she was his…the paper and shit is what he meant, if ever this thing kept going to the ball and chain, he'd make good on the deal. He'd take care of her.

"Wow," he said aloud, both of them staring in the mirror. "Wow and I don't mean me," he said next.

She giggled. "I look at you all the time and say wow," she told him.

Zora was talking again.

"We'll take it," he said all rude.

Zora simpered over that.

It cost him a pretty penny. But if he needed more, he had Lou's money too. That fuck could take it out of his pay. That's more than he deserved for eying Isbe.


	23. Chapter 23

Hard Hearted 23

Eddie was with Isbe every chance he got. They worked, and they got together.

And this Monday night, the one where they'd all played poker for matchsticks until two in the morning like work didn't exist, Isbe complained she'd need those matchsticks all day long to keep her eyes open. Eddie asked if she needed him to give her a break, and she said no. He said he'd leave earlier and she said no. She held on to his arm and said it, "No, no, no."

He was tired too. But he figured it was worth it. He knew he should go home, but he wanted to be with her, and the other monkeys seemed to be having the same problem.

But she had neighbors and she was a good girl, and he strangely wanted to protect that. He could stay, if she asked, and sneak out like he had before, but she hadn't asked, and Em and Jasper would get on him about it, if he stayed, not that he cared, and not that they weren't up to plenty themselves.

He suspected Em and Rose were screwing. He thought they were. Em and Rose disappeared in her house for long sessions. She would never show after, but Em would and he'd be quiet and reflective on the ride home, and that was the telltale thing. He'd had it taken out of him…the piss…and the other.

By the time Em and Rose disappeared, Jasper would be with Alice, in her room or outside. That would leave him and Isbe the living room.

He wasn't complaining. He could neck with Isbe indefinitely. He loved to kiss this girl, loved it. Long slow sessions of kissing…petting, what he had laughed at as a rule, were a whole new game with her. Cause it was all new…for Isbe…and truthfully, for him.

He had a slow hand if he needed to. He was cultivating one. He couldn't get enough. He worked her up, then pretended to be keeping , 'her beliefs.' He was most often the one to suggest they calm it down.

He might have felt a tinge of guilt now and then, knowing she was breathless and wanting more. He might have smiled a few times over her head as he cradled her body against his, but he knew he'd do right by her. Knew he was in love, knew he could imagine spending his life with her, even if he didn't have his shit gathered enough to suggest such.

The work kept picking up. He found another outlet for the radios—Lou's. During the week he sat the fixed sets on the counter. Lou didn't care if they bought new or used. It was all money in his pocket. But when Sal showed he needed to put the used sets in to the rest of his inventory.

Sal was in Florida with their mother. But he'd be home soon, Lou said. He wasn't Hitler. He was a moog named Sal. Eddie couldn't have cared less what kind of bee was up his ass. He'd protect his interests but he wasn't taking shit from Sal.

One Friday night Emmie walked in the shop as Eddie was closing down for the night. He knew by looking at Em something was up. It had been a while since they'd thrown the potatoes. Other than that there had been a couple of low key tasks, picking up a sack, dropping off a stack of papers. Moog jobs that paid shit.

Eddie cleaned up his tools and wrote out a couple of tickets. Em leaned on the counter but he didn't have much to say. When Eddie was finished he pissed and washed his hands, his face, combed his hair back in the cracked mirror over Lou's disgusting sink.

He followed Em out and they got in the Buick. Jasper was already in the backseat.

Normally they picked something up then went to Isbe's…food or drink. Sometimes they took the girls to Shineys. Once they saw a movie and walked on the pier.

But tonight they were going to Mel's. Uncle Carl wanted to see them.

"You carrying?" Eddie asked. He didn't feel the need to bring a gun. He needed one he'd take it from one of those cabbage lickers. He'd use it.

"So they can take it off me?" Em said.

"Eddie," Jasper said, and he saw Jasper's weapon on the seat then, the tire iron and Jasper's hammer. Any trouble on the sidewalk this time and Fourth of July would break out cause baboon had that red ass temper.

"You go in. I'm waiting outside," Jasper said. "I ain't walkin out that door blind like last time."

Eddie put his hand over his smile. The thought of a fight wasn't bad. He hadn't lost his taste for it that was damn sure, and he wouldn't fight like a gentleman, like last time. But he needed his hands almost as much…as he needed the action. "I agree," Eddie said. "You're his punk."

"It's good work. Real work this time," Em said.

Eddie kept his face turned to the window. He spoke that way to Jasper. "This guy from the good ship lollipop?"

Jasper guffawed.

Em pulled in front and put it in gear. "Fuck you," he said to Eddie before he got out.

Eddie and Jasper were really laughing now. Potato face stood by the door. Em didn't look back, but went in like he owned Uncle Carl.

"Guess we're breaking up," Eddie said and a new round of laughing overtook them and Potato Face stared at them.

"Hey," Eddie called to that over-sized thug, showing the bird, "how many fingers?"

Jasper fell over laughing.

Potato Face waved Eddie off cause he'd broken that moog's nose and knocked him out last time they'd met. It seemed Potato had no wish to come over and get a repeat. Or maybe his ass was stuck to the folding chair he sat on while he looked out for Uncle's camp.

Jasper tossed that iron over the seat and Eddie had it in his hands. "Mashed potatoes," Eddie called to him, and Jasper laughed some more. "Little catsup with that?"

Thug stood up. Now Eddie was laughing. "Here he comes," he said to Jasper.

Em came out then, passing Potato like he didn't exist. "You guys get in here."

"Fuck that," Jasper said.

"C'mon," Eddie said exiting the car, tire iron in hand.

Em looked at the weapon. "You Robin Hood?"

"My walking stick," Eddie said.

"Shit," Em shook his head.

Jasper got out and slammed the door. They followed Em, and when they passed Potato Eddie smacked that iron into his palm. "Almost got you to take the candy, Fooker."

So they went in laughing, but memories of this cramped fucked entrance quieted Eddie down. They went single file through the bar to Uncle Carl's table.

Everyone's eyes were on the iron in Eddie's hands.

"What's this? You gonna take some prisoners?" Carl asked, eyes lit with amusement.

"I'm a fast learner," Eddie said. "Your boys want to take it be my guest."

Carl threw back his head and laughed loud.

"Eddie is…," Em tried to say.

Carl held up his hand. "Sit down," Carl said.

Em pulled up a chair and sat. Eddie and Jasper stayed on their feet.

Carl's eyes were on Eddie. "You want to say fuck you…alright…hero," he said, and a ripple of panic came with that. He couldn't know Isbe. He couldn't know about that. "But know when to bend," Carl said.

"No disrespect to you," Eddie said. "I'm better on my feet." He remembered what happened to the last and only guy he'd seen sit before Carl. He remembered because he'd chopped on the guy and buried him.

Carl had a half smile but it was fading as he studied Eddie. Then he turned his attention to Jasper, "What about you? Better on your feet?"

"Yes sir," Jasper said. "Since the war…nerves are rattled."

"I make you nervous?" Uncle said.

Jasper looked at Eddie and then the floor. That was to try and hide his smile. Eddie had the same urge. Laughter. Cause a part of him, and this baboon wanted to go wild in here. Uncle Carl had no idea cause Eddie planned to go for his face first so he wouldn't see much of what came after, this low level Irish goon, but they could bring hell in here, wild, crazy hell.

"You can sit on your own…keep your pride…or I can make you sit. Which do you prefer?" Carl said.

"Eddie…," Em said.

"I prefer to stand, sir," Eddie said.

Jasper nodded as well.

Carl folded his hands on his stomach and leaned back, looking each of them over. "Tell you what I'm gonna do…you can both stand…if you earn it."

Em looked off, cursing under his breath. Then he stood up and kicked the chair away. He took a step back near Eddie. "Can we just have the meeting?" he asked.

"No…Emmett…we can't just have the fuckin' meeting," Carl said loudly. He sat back again for the force of his voice had pulled him forward. "You know the boys like a good fight. There's money to be made. We'll go Friday night…payday. They'll bet hard. You'll be given the address."

Em started to protest, but over this Eddie asked, "How much money?"

Carl smiled. "Win or lose a hundred. Bonus on a win."

"What kind of bonus?" Eddie said.

"Another hundred," Carl said.

"I won't fight them," Eddie said indicating Em and Jasper.

"We don't fight ourselves, Laddie. Not all the time anyway."

"Who?"

"The rest of the world. It's a grand fucking world full of desperate fuckers like you. How about a German? A nice big one." He grinned and Eddie noticed the gold tooth for the first time.

"What's the job?" Eddie said. "You said you had a job."

"And you need to earn the right to it now. Win the fight and we'll see. But you lose…I'll get someone else to deliver my papers. And you'll be taking the bus."

"We all fight?" Em said.

"You're all standing," Carl answered spreading his clean hands wide.

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Eddie wanted to see Isbe. He had Em stop on the corner. He hopped out and bought her an enormous bouquet and two bags of big soft pretzels. He felt like a man about to have sex…with Isbe. About to do something…Lord he could knock down a building. With his dick.

This would be bare knuckle. It was all the same…it all promised life. Em wasn't happy, but he was coming around. Jasper jumped out, "Hey…you fucker," Jasper said, digging in his pocket.

"Get me some too," Em yelled, a car honking behind him.

"What the fuck, Ed," Jasper was saying, trying to keep up while he paid for two more bunches of flowers.

Back in the car it looked like a funeral, smelled like one too. They were giddy and stupid and fucked and wound up.

They got to Isbe's, each of them carrying part of the garden. They were taking the girls to Shiney's, they had a guy there tonight, and a harmonica. Isbe wore her blue dress, and they got to the club and Eddie and her didn't even make it to a table, but he grabbed her on the dancefloor and she still had her purse bouncing against his back. He didn't feel it, didn't care. He only wanted her.

"What's with you guys? You sure you haven't been drinking?" Isbe laughed.

"You taste it on me?" he asked, cause he'd had his tongue in her mouth all the way to Shineys, and more than once since they got inside.

"No," she whispered, her arms around his neck.

"You know what you do to me in this dress?" he said.

"No," she whispered. "Tell me."

"Well, you came down those stairs tonight, and everything went right there. My world," he said soft in her ear, his hands holding her sides, her curved in sides, smoothing to her waist.

"I know," she said. "I came down, and you looked at me…and…you're tall…and your hands were full of flowers, and your mouth…the way you see me, I feel like…it changes something in me…brings it to life…it's in your face, all of you, and nothing I had before…matters as much…or feels like enough. Everything else…is what I do…until I can be with you again."

Her lips moved to his, and the soft press, her breath…it was exactly that way. Exactly. He thought love, he felt love, but he didn't say it. Not yet. Like everything else…he had to earn the right. And he promised himself, if he won that money…he'd have a right…to say it then…when he could do…and give…and be, real, have something to back-up the words, then maybe, maybe he could trust himself…to be what she deserved…cause one thing he knew, you say love…and you don't love…you kill somebody that way.


	24. Chapter 24

Hard Hearted 24

The day before Uncle Carl's bare knuckle fight, Eddie was working his counter at Lou's around two in the afternoon when they came in, two fuckers dressed in black, wearing sock hats, one holding a rifle, the other a machine gun.

Machine Gun walked rapidly toward Eddie, his weapon trained straight at him, ordering him out from behind the counter. He had no idea what that did to Eddie, but this familiar coldness came.

Rifle marched Lou toward the front, insisting he lock the door. Lou told the guy, "Fuck you," and the guy hit him with the butt of his gun between the shoulder blades. Lou went down and cracked his head and the punk kicked him and screamed at him to get on his feet. Lou got on all fours, moving slow and groggy. Rifle kicked and punched and cursed Lou onto his feet. Lou was weaving, but he got upright and stood there. His forehead was bleeding and he staggered to the front door, dug his keys out of his pocket and dropped them twice before managing to lock it.

Rifle ordered Eddie and Lou into the back and another, Handgun, who'd apparently come in the service door, held Stan at gunpoint. Stan had wet his pants.

They had ordered Eddie to hold up his hands and get beside Stan and he did that easily to show compliance. They were screaming at Lou about a safe. Stan was pleading for his life and Handgun pistol whipped him across the face and he went to his knees spitting teeth and blood. He was sobbing. Then Handgun yelled at Eddie to get on his knees.

Lou was leading Rifle and Machine Gun to the safe which was concealed behind the timeclock. Eddie had no idea it was there, artfully hidden.

Lou held his handkerchief to his face to staunch blood and worked the red dial while Rifle trained his gun on him. Machine Gun waited beside Rifle, but his weapon was trained on Stan and Eddie. Eddie knew they would be shot as soon as Lou got that safe open.

"Can I smoke?" Eddie asked Handgun, hearing the safe crack.

Handgun stepped toward him to shoot him in the face, but Eddie grabbed his hand, broke his wrist, took his gun and shot Machine Gun. That moog fired a line at the ceiling as he went down.

Eddie dropped to his ass and Rifle shot Stan. From the floor, his legs spread wide, Eddie shot Rifle. Handgun lay on the floor, pretty much writhing between Eddie's legs. Eddie still held his broken wrist bending his hand back so hard Handgun yelled in agony.

Eddie shot him in the forehead.

Stan was on the floor screaming for his mother, and holding his shoulder. Eddie got on his feet and ran to Rifle putting another bullet in him, then Machine Gun even though they looked dead. Then he turned to Lou. Lou was hurt, but he was breathing. "Eddie…help me."

"Hang on," Eddie said. He ran to the phone and dialed the operator. After he told the cops he checked the store's perimeter for an accomplice. Out front he saw a black Oldsmobile parked near the street, but no driver.

Lou had sunk to the floor by the time Eddie got back. Stan wasn't shouting anymore, but lying still and moaning. Lou held his chest, panting like he'd been the one to run all over the store instead of Eddie.

"Hang on Lou. They'll be here," Eddie said.

"Kid," Lou said, swallowing hard, "grab the money. Leave some…in the safe…close it…the safe…and hide the rest. Hurry."

Eddie pulled the safe door open and saw the piles. "You don't believe in banks?" Eddie said looking around for a container. There was a metal bucket a few yards away, placed where the roof leaked. Eddie retrieved the pail. Lou had his eyes closed. Eddie doggedly stuffed most of the money in the bucket. When it was heaping Lou said weakly, "Hide it good. No Sal."

Eddie slammed the safe door shut and spun the dial. "Hang on, Lou," Eddie said touching Lou's shoulder. Lou feebly waved Eddie off.

He held the bucket against his stomach and walked swiftly in to the showroom. He could hear the sirens drawing close. That's all the incentive he needed to hurry to the farthest corner and dump the money in a washing machine. He set the lid in place, bucket on the floor. He dug for a smoke and got it lit. His hands were trembling and not from fear. He was walking toward the front windows when the coppers arrived.

First one in the door he recognized. Isbe's father, the guy she'd been eating with at Tillman's. Eddie threw his smoke on the floor and ground it out with his shoe as Swan shouted for him to raise his hands.

Fuck a duck.

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Three hours later Eddie was headed back to his room. He used the phone downstairs to call Isbe. It rang her house but no one answered. That meant she was still on the bus.

It was for the best. He went in his room and cleaned up. He wanted nothing more than to be with her. But he'd stay away from her now…until after the fight. She'd soften him down, ask a lot of questions. He didn't need that. He'd never pulled away from her before. But the way he felt…he wanted to keep it…the rage.

Her old man…had he put it together that some moog who was caught in a heist was making time with his daughter? Her old man—he'd said, "Who kills three men? Kills two of them twice?"

Eddie hadn't answered.

They'd taken Lou out unconscious on a stretcher. Heart attack was their guess. Lou was in worse shape than Stan, and Stan took a bullet and lost blood. The other three went to the morgue.

The bums were from out of state. The three stooges as far as Eddie was concerned- Moe, Larry and Shemp. Eddie answered questions for the coppers—but not easily. The war had cleared his dread of uniforms, the way he'd shut down when he was a kid. But the questions, he didn't give it all away. That's how it was, the coppers, he'd had his times with them—the good fathers telling him to go straight—then the fathers worse than the one he had—Uncle Carls in blue.

But today they called him a hero. The papers would eat this up, Swan said. Reporters came to the scene, snapped his picture as he was walking out, Swan staying close, wanting in the shot. Then he offered Eddie a ride home and that was a memory from another time, one he'd worked hard to forget.

He tried to refuse, but Swan persisted and the reporters…it was easier to be driven away. He went across the street for the bus and they'd have him then. So he got in the fucker's car…Isbe's old man's. He glanced in the backseat. Swan had helped himself to a new toaster and a mixer. Merry Christmas.

Swan drilled him a little more on the ride. Mostly about the war. He asked if Eddie had ever considered the academy. Eddie laughed then, not out loud but he had to look away.

"No," he said. Eddie liked to fix things. He knew Swan wouldn't see the difference, but he'd as soon be a Nazi as a copper.

He had Swan leave him at the corner and he'd walked the block to his building. He had to keep something to himself, even though this man now knew his address.

Once Swan pulled off, an urgency hit Eddie. He needed to get to the hospital and see Lou. Stan was there too, in surgery. He didn't care so much on him, wished him well, but he wouldn't visit, but Lou…the money…Sal. Sal would come now. What would he expect? He had to talk to Lou.

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Soon as he was cleaned up he went back downstairs and called Em.

"Hey. Get over here," he said, the receiver sticky in his hand.

Em was still fussing when he hung up. Sounded like that moog just got out of bed.

He had Lou's keys in his hand, and he went outside and paced in front of the stoop, rattled those keys and smoked three fags before Em showed.

He got in the Buick and Em drove off, saying, "I'm going over to Fourth street and picking up some ham…."

"We ain't gonna see the girls tonight," Eddie said quickly.

"Why not? I told Rose…."

Eddie cut right in and told Em the story…even about the money. "I need to see Lou. And I need to get that money. The brother…Sal…he's flying in."

Em drove to pick up Jasper then, caught him going in to his building. He was dirty as hell, carrying his toolbox and Eddie whistled to get his attention then yelled they'd give him five minutes to get his ass in the Buick.

"Where we going?" Baboon asked, ready to ride like always. It made Eddie grin.

"No girls," Eddie said. Then to Em he muttered, "He can save his Brylcream now." And they laughed cause the man had a vanity about his finger-waves.

"He'll think it's another present from Uncle Carl," Em said.

"This time it's Uncle Lou…all the fuckin' uncles we got," Eddie said. They laughed some more.

When the three were together Eddie filled Jasper in while Em drove them to St. Mary's. Like Em he wanted the details of how he'd killed three men. Eddie had to tell it three times. The Buick sounded like the ape house for a minute while they celebrated.

Once they got to the hospital Eddie went in and asked at the desk. Lou was critical and in the unit for serious care, with the ones already seeing the light, or feeling the fire, and only his wife was allowed to go bedside.

Eddie went up to the eleventh floor anyway. He asked the sister at that desk if he could go in to see Lou, and she said no. He'd never had any luck with these sour frumps who held a post like God had set them down and they'd grown roots through the soles of their thick black shoes.

"Can I see Lou's wife then?" he said, old things swirling inside.

Sister Sourpuss went to get her.

Lou's wife Tanya came out, her eyes red and puffy. Eddie introduced himself and she fell on him, her arms going around his neck and Eddie thought, "Shit." But he braced himself and let her hold on until she was done.

She swiped at his wet shirt, and rattled on and on, asking a question and not even breathing long enough he could answer.

Soon as a sliver of space hit he said, "Can you get me in to see him?"

"He won't know you're here. He's not responding, Eddie. What am I gonna do without my Lou?"

It took another ten minutes to not have to answer that question. He'd told her he'd do his best to keep things going until Sal came through. She was so grateful.

As soon as the elevator doors closed he breathed a sigh in the stale air. It didn't look good for Lou, and he didn't want the money to go to Sal so he took that as a fleece laid out and a fleece made wet.

Until Lou recovered, that money was his. The wisdom of war. To the victor go the spoils. The strong took. Ask Officer Swan.

When he got back in the Buick Eddie relayed, "I didn't see him. "

"Where to?" Em asked.

"Where you think Sarge? I stutter or something?"

Em hooted and Jasper joined in.

"What about tomorrow? We still gonna fight?" Jasper asked.

Eddie turned in the seat and looked at that baboon. "We're gonna fight. And we're gonna win. You think you can't…then let me know. I'm betting Lou's farm on you."

"What?" Em said loud.

"You too," Eddie said "You'll do the same on me. You think you can't win…now's the time. But the three I bet on are right here in this Buick. We're gonna do this the old way…three way split. We win back Lou's money and anything over the top is ours."

"Fucker," Em told Eddie with a kind of goosed up wonder.

"What if one of us loses?" Baboon asked with someone else's foresight.

"Damn that Alice, she's changing you brother," Em said.

"One of us loses…the other two cover the whole amount. We all three win, it's gravy. Unless…we plan on losing. Then we bet on the other guys. That's a surer thing. Losing. You each decide, then no turning back. Now we need an uncle who makes book and will go to those fights to bet our dough."

"I ain't throwin' a fight like some punk," Em said. "And my uncle's out. He could do it, but we'd never see a dime, then he'd kill us afterward," Em said, meaning Carl, of course.

"My uncle would fire my ass and tear up my chance to get in the union," Jasper said. "And I ain't throwin' either."

"Yeah, shit, I ain't throwin'. And my Uncle Lou…no it wouldn't work out," Eddie said. Lou wasn't his uncle, but still…it was a no.

It was the monkey house then. And when they had Lou's money, and Eddie counted twelve thousand American smackaroos…it was the whole fucking zoo after that. Now they needed someone to place their bets and they had twenty-four hours to figure it out.


	25. Chapter 25

Hard Hearted 25

Alice was feeding the clothes between the rollers of the washing machine once they'd been sufficiently pummeled in the warm soapy water. They were coming through the squeeze wrinkled and ready to be dropped in a cold rinse.

Isbe worked the double tubs that held the rinse water, plunging the clothes up and down in the first tub then running each piece through a hand-cranked wringer that separated the tubs. Then she let the still wet but no longer dripping items fall in to that second tub until Rose shook them out and hung each on one of the six lines that ran along the unfinished ceiling of their shared basement.

"Listen," Isbe said, and they all froze as they listened to the noise that never was.

"They're not coming," Rose said. She'd already set her hair in pincurls and covered it with a scarf. This was akin to putting dirt over a coffin. Rose had buried any notion that the men had not stood them up.

"If they do show," Rose continued, always ready to recover quickly from disappointment, proving once again what she already knew, men were slated to break your heart eventually, even very handsome ones you were nuts about, "and you girls let them in you're crazy. They'll never respect you."

Rose smoothed over one of Isbe's summer dresses and pinned it on the line. They were behind in their washing, their ironing too, well everything was done with a lick and a promise these days. Alice liked to say they were socialites now, but Rose scoffed at that. They were man-hungry sluts with no sense of responsibility is how Rose put it.

"Going to Shiney's a couple times a week hardly puts us on the society page," Rose said, tugging on the ends of the blouse she'd tied under her bust.

Isbe was tired of Rose working so hard to put their time with the fellas down as if she was somehow suffering all the time. She was obviously ga-ga about Emmie, and well she should be. That kid treated Rose like pure gold. Why couldn't she give Emmie a break and admit she was head over heels?

Alice had no problem in that department. And Isbe was the one who'd declared love. At least she was honest. She felt ready to pop apart over Eddie not showing up.

But Alice cracked first. "I don't want to do the laundry," she said over the grind of the agitator while throwing a pair of pink underpants back in the water.

"I've half a mind to go to Eddie's room so I can see if he's alright," Isbe said.

"No pride," Rose said sternly snapping a pair of jeans board straight and angrily pinning them to the line.

"I don't care about pride," Isbe said hotly, "I care about Eddie."

"You're not his mother," Rose said.

"And you're not mine!" Isbe yelled.

Rose stared at her. "Wow," she whispered.

They finished the clothes in silence then, pinning up the last and emptying and rinsing the machines.

Back upstairs they parted ways, Rose on her side, Alice in her room, Isbe upstairs. After a few minutes in which Isbe stood at her window, shade up, watching dusk settle over the woods behind her house, then letting her eyes linger on the pool, the yard, she started to think about all the good times she'd shared there with Eddie. She heard someone on the stairs, then Alice's distinctive knock on her shut door. "Bisbe?"

Isbe knew Alice was as flustered as she was, as unable to ignore the fact the guys had stood them up. Isbe could see it happening to one of them, but all three at once? Something had to be wrong.

Alice wanted her to come back downstairs. She'd opened two cans of soup and had the contents heating on the stove.

The two turned on the radio while they ate. Rose burst in the backdoor. "Have you heard?" she asked, scaring Isbe so much that she dropped her spoon and splattered soup on the front of the apron she'd worn while doing laundry.

Rose cranked their radio but they'd missed the news. Rose said they had to wait for it to come around again. Meanwhile she told them what she'd heard. Eddie had been in a terrible stick-up at Lou's. He might have been killed. Instead he was hailed as a hero. He'd killed three men, bandits, and saved the lives of the fellas he worked with. Those two were taken to the hospital. One had been shot.

Her Eddie. She'd always known he was a hero, but now the whole world knew…or most of Chicago.

When the news came on again a familiar voice spoke about Eddie Masen's quiet heroics. It was her father. He said that Eddie had only been home from the European campaign for a few months. Her father said Eddie was one soldier still willing to lay down his life for another. "They call that, 'no greater love,'" the reporter said as he signed off.

"Holy smokes," Isbe said, turning the volume back to low.

"Emmie and Jasper are with him, Isbe," Alice reassured her. "Eddie is probably worn out. I'll bet they're having a beer right now. "

There was relief…then more worry. "Why wouldn't he come to me? He could have died! Why wouldn't he have wanted to be with me? He even met my father! Doesn't he imagine I'd hear this and be worried sick! Why hasn't he called at least? Am I that low on his list that he can't call me when he's gone through something like this?" Isbe went on and on. Thinking of Eddie's rejection was better than dwelling on how things could have been worse. The other two survivors were in critical condition. It was still undecided if they'd live. And Eddie hadn't been injured. So where was he? Maybe he held vigil at the hospital.

She needed to hold him, she needed to run her hands over him and see for herself. Didn't he know that? Had she been mistaken about the depth of his feelings for her? He'd never said it, wouldn't be rushed…that he loved her. Of course she hadn't wanted to push, and he'd told her he hadn't said he did or he didn't, but the way he looked at her, touched her, she'd been certain he felt it too. But to treat her this way, not even a call…. Maybe it was meeting her father. He'd been favorable on the radio, but had he done something or said something to upset Eddie? Had Eddie told him about them?

"I'm going to Eddie's boarding house," Isbe said, already tearing off her soiled clothing.

"You're not," Rose said, shying back for the first time when Isbe glared at her. "Wait for him, Isbe. If he truly wanted to reach out right this minute, don't you think he would?" she added almost sheepishly.

"Rose…I'm not you," Isbe said, pulling the net off her hair and untying the rags that held her curls.

"What's that mean?" Rose said, not shying away now.

"You handle things your way, I'll handle things with Eddie my way," Isbe said hotly.

"You meant something more. Just say it," Rose said, arms folded.

"I don't have time to fight with you," Isbe said as Alice retrieved her brush and had Isbe sit.

"I don't care," Alice said. "I'll be quick." She parted Isbe's hair to the side and combed through it, curling the waves around her fingers, pinning the top back a little.

Rose turned toward the door and put her hand on the knob. "I'm only trying to help," she said quietly before going out.

Rose needed time alone when she was upset. Isbe had no inclination to go after her now anyway. She wanted…needed to get to Eddie.

"I'll go with you," Alice said.

"No. I have to go alone," Isbe said, but it was Alice who explained where Eddie's building was. Isbe knew the neighborhood from her date with Eddie, but he'd not shown her his building. Unlike Eddie Jasper had been very easy and forthcoming about where he lived and where Eddie lived.

Isbe fumbled to get presentable. When her nerves threatened to overtake her she reminded herself again and again it was Eddie. Her Eddie. And he could be in trouble. She had this terrible feeling. There was something. If she was wrong, wonderful, she'd come back home a fool. But Eddie would be alright and she had every hope he'd forgive her for jumping the gun.

But if something was wrong, she'd see for herself. She'd be there when he might need her the most.

She put on what she'd worn to work, a straight navy blue skirt just below her knees and a white blouse. She wore flats because some of those buildings had a lot of stairs. Her legs were bare.

When she was presentable she went downstairs to call a cab. Alice was in the hall talking to someone at the door. If it was Jasper she wouldn't hold him out that way. Then he spoke. It was Jacob.

Jacob was a good fella. He worked at his father Billy's gas station in the middle of the city. He'd gone to school with Isbe and tended to show up between girlfriends. For a good meal he'd fix anything. She hadn't seen him in a while. Last time she had she'd told him to stop coming around so much.

Rose swore he was in love with Isbe, and while she knew he had a crush, he was a year younger and he'd never let on or made a move that might ruin things. Anyway, his dad depended on him. That always seemed to her to be where his focus was. He had girlfriends, a string of them, but he never got serious. About anything.

"Jacob…I need a favor." That's what she told him. There he was, the big red pick-up sitting at the curb. It would be faster than a cab.

She was soon tooling down the road in the truck's front seat. Jacob thought he knew where to go. He was good that way. He was also a talker. He talked the whole time, but it was a blessing. His chatter kept her from popping apart.

When they figured out which building belonged to Eddie, she realized Jacob had every intention of escorting her.

"No…Jacob…I'm going in alone."

"You say this is a friend? He'll understand. What kind of man would I be to let you go in there alone?"

"The kind I need right now," she answered. "Jacob…."

"I'll wait here. But if you're not out in fifteen minutes I'm coming in."

She didn't like that, but was too frantic to get inside. Anyway, if Eddie wasn't home she would need more of Jacob's assistance as she'd try to track Eddie down. She knew his diner…she could try Jasper's. If she found Baboon, he would know about Eddie.

And there was Shiney's. Push came to shove…she'd do it…have Jacob drive her to Shiney's.

A couple of men sat on a ledge that ran along the stoop of Eddie's building. It was a big square brick bulwark, like so many in this part of the city. The men were crude and they made some remarks but she was good at ignoring that. In the lobby, an old smell hit, bad lighting, a desk with smudged glass separating the man sitting there from the population. She went to that window. "What room is Eddie Mason in?" she asked.

"None of your business," he said. "Eddie don't want no one to come up." The heavy-set guy fingered his puffy lip a little when he said that.

"I'm…a friend. You could call him down then."

"I don't do that. He don't want to see nobody so scram."

"I'm his sister. There's…been a death. Now either you go get him or…I'll stand here and scream."

He pulled off his glasses and stared at her. "Screaming ain't so unusual around here, Sister. You go up there, it's at your own risk. You hear me?"

She nodded. "What room?"

He told her then, and she looked around, pointed to the big staircase at her right. "You tell him it wasn't me!" he yelled after her.

Up she went, passing three or four men on the stairs, all of them curious, whistles and comments, and she kept going. She reached his floor, a long hall, four bulbs hanging from the ceiling at intervals. Same doors marking every room, same beat to hell smudges, numbers painted crude. She found his door, end of the hall and she knocked. "Eddie?" she said up close.

The door across the hall opened then, just a crack, and she knew she was watched. She'd had enough, enough for one night. It was all she could do not to try the knob. She knocked again, more quickly. Please let him be here.

He pulled the door and stood there in all his glory, naked except for his shorts. He'd looked ready for a fight, like hadn't expected her, at all. The anger was quickly leaving…shock now. "Isbe."

His eyes full of green surprise, his mouth, her name on his lips, his hand on her arm, the dark tattoo, three soldiers on his arm, light sheen on his chest, and her face against his skin and her arms around him, the salty sweaty smell of him, and all the want in her, the relief…and anger.

"You didn't call," she said and she was crying from the relief.

He pushed her into the hall and told her to wait. He closed the door, closed her out and she was blinking at the slab of wood nearly touching her nose. He'd pushed her out.

The door opened again. She'd thought he'd have put on his pants, but no, he pulled her inside. "You came here alone? Isbe…what…?"

"You didn't call," she said again, and he had his arms around her. "And I heard…they said…you could have been killed. And you killed those men…."

He was comforting her, shushing her as he held her against him. All out crying now, and strangled words, "You could have been…."

He was stroking her hair against her back, telling her it was alright. "How did you get here?"

Jacob. He could leave now...go home…go away. She had to tell Jacob.

"You smell so clean…like soap," Eddie said. It was from the laundry, but she couldn't speak now, all the words had run out.

"You shouldn't have come. You hear me?"

There was no strength in his words, but she wasn't so detached she didn't hear the regret in his voice. He held her with his own relief, but he'd meant it when he shoved that door closed in her face. He wished she hadn't come.

She lifted her head then, to look in his eyes. Her own love slammed her. It always did. Maybe she was letting it rule her, blind her, to where she only imagined he returned it as much…as completely.

"How did you get here?" he asked again. She knew he wanted to blame someone…not thank them. Jacob would be perfect for that.

He had his hands on her arms, holding her a length away now. She had her arms folded against her chest, as if protecting herself. He was angry.

"Do you ever think?" he said.

"All the time," she whispered, finding her voice. She pulled free of him. He followed her with a step. There was no where to go. She'd moved to the window, put her hand on the paint mottled sill. "You killed those men."

She could see that. There was something on him, the way he stood. He'd softened for her, but not like she knew him.

He was searching for his clothes, grabbing at pants and stepping in.

"You don't have to do that. I have a friend…waiting."

"Who?" he slowed in his movements, working his fly.

"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to know you were alright. That's all I needed." She moved toward the door, but something in his look made her falter.

He was on her in a moment, shoved her to the door, against it. He looked down her, looked up, and she was putty now. "Eddie…."

"You…," he said, and he pressed his mouth on hers and it was a kiss that might earn him a slap across the face. She wasn't a whore, but she lifted her chin a little and he came in more, pressed right against her, and she was taking it, would take whatever he dished out, that was the truth.

He pulled back enough to let them breathe, and his hand was on her neck, her throat, the other over her head. She turned her face to the side. He was almost too much…and still not enough.

Just the sounds of their breathing and the traffic below. She had to tell…she had to tell…that fella who brought her….

He moved his long fingers to her chin and turned her face back to him. He kissed her more gently, and she raised her dead arms and reached up to grab his hair and hold his face to hers, and his tongue pushed into her mouth again, and she loved, craved the taste of his mouth like this, it made her lose herself in him. She moved against him, was barely aware they were moving, then onto his bed, the crunch underneath the scratchy cover, and she didn't know if she was up or down, just his mouth and his hair and his neck and shoulders and back. She was clawing at him, and her legs, when she remembered she had legs, were spread wide and he was there, between them, and she moved against him, against the bulge he pushed against her privates and such a feeling she groaned, and just like her mouth, this awakened, crazy wanting weeping part of her came to crazy life and she met his thrusts and he pulled away, stood and reworked those pants until he was stepping out from them, his eyes all over her, his chest moving with his breaths, his face undone like she'd never seen it, just undone and wild as the hair she had pulled and twisted…and she saw herself, her blouse unbuttoned, the clover pin stark against the white slip, her skirt bunched around her hips, her legs thrown like Raggedy Ann's, and his eyes on that white ribbon of modesty from her underwear.

She didn't have the will to pull her legs together. They were wide open for him. And he was staring, his mouth open, looking at last in her eyes. "Isbe," he whispered.

He was balking, faltering, and her shame hit her at once, and her legs moved and she was on her feet, two steps to him and she her hands on his chest and she went to her knees, her skirt still bunched, a stupid kneeling fool, and his hands were on her arms he was already trying to pull her onto her feet, but she wouldn't, she sat back and he bent more, "Isbe."

"I love you. I love you," she said again. "You can't pull away from me…."

"I didn't…I haven't," he said.

"You can't shut me out like this."

"No, Isbe."

"I love you. I can't not love you."

He was still trying to talk.

"You could have been killed," she shouted.

He was shaking his head, looking at her with such concern, but she didn't care. He had to understand how it was…for her.

Then pounding on the door and Jacob calling her name, trying the knob, hitting hard against the door.

Eddie pulled Isbe on to her feet, motioned she should get on the other side of the bed. She knew it was Jacob.

"Go," Edward yelled righting his pants while she resisted and pulled at her skirt, gathered her blouse.

"Go," he yelled again, ready to unlock the door when it was hit again.

"Who the hell is it?" Eddie yelled, turning the lock.

"It's Jacob," Isbe yelled, same time Jacob yelled, "Isbe."

And Eddie pulled the door and Jacob came in with force and Eddie threw him off and Jacob got up and charged Eddie again and Eddie pushed him down to the floor, and spread over him and Jacob resisted and Eddie punched him a couple of times and yelled, "Lie still."

Isbe was screaming for them to stop and she jumped on the bed to get out of their way because Jacob wouldn't still and they were all out fighting now, and she jumped around on the bed yelling at them to stop.

And she yelped then. "Oh my God, oh my God."

And Eddie looked up and stood up slowly, and Jacob stayed down, trying to catch his breath, but when he saw what was revealed all around Isbe's feet as the cover had moved on the bed, the bed she stood upon, Jacob stood slowly too. It was money. Lots and lots of money.

Isbe pulled her attention from Jacob to this nest of cash that had been hidden under Eddie's blanket and looked next at this man she loved, this…bank robber?

"Eddie…."

He moved to her and he took her hand and helped her down off the bed. She didn't know where her shoes had gone. They were on the bed, with the rumpled blanket, with the money. She carefully picked them from the mess.

"Eddie," she said again.

"You live in this toilet and you…stick up a bank?" Jacob said. "Isbe…come here."

But she didn't move, she stared at Eddie. She held her shoes and waited.


	26. Chapter 26

Hard Hearted 26

"Who is this guy?" Eddie asked Isbe as he stood in his room with her and the muscly babyface who'd attacked him.

"Jacob. Black." Isbe gestured with her shoe. Then she seemed to remember she held these and put them on her feet.

That simple gesture, so feminine the way she reached behind to shoe one raised foot, then the other, helped calm him down. He stepped around Jacob and closed the door. Putting Black's number in the trash hadn't helped get rid of this moog. Hadn't he known this Porky was trouble? His gut never lied.

"Where…," Jacob began.

"No…fucker…," Eddie held up a finger near Jacob's face. "You don't ask questions in my house."

Jacob looked from Isbe to Eddie.

"Eddie he's my friend," Isbe said softly.

"She was yelling," Jacob said.

"So you barge in here…," Eddie said. But he was actually a little pleased. If this moog thought Isbe was in trouble he should step in.

"I was trying to break in the door and you opened it…." Jacob defended himself.

"Fuck you trying to break in the door." Eddie said wanting to push this asshole some.

"Enough," Isbe yelled, then more softly, "Please. Where did you get this money Eddie?"

"It's all hundreds…." Porky with the mouth said.

Eddie strode over to the bed and covered the cash. "My business. You got that?" He looked back at Jacob. It was thousands, actually. Fucker had no imagination.

"Jacob go wait in the truck…please," Isbe said.

"I'm not leaving you with this…."

Eddie's hands were balled. "This what fucker? Go on and say it. Maybe you can go out the window instead of the door."

Isbe hurried to Jacob and took him by the arm. She pushed him toward the door but he seemed eager to prove to her he wasn't afraid. He pushed her hand off of him and stepped closer to Eddie.

"I've known Isbe a lot of years and I ain't leaving this room until she does." His chin was out and Eddie tried not to laugh.

Isbe was going to put herself in the middle of it, but Eddie didn't spare her a glance. "You talk real tough for a moog I just had on the floor like a rug." He didn't say it with heat. Just making a point.

"You want another go?" Jacob said raising his fists.

Isbe was pulling on Jacob's arms. Eddie didn't like the way she touched this punk all over. "I'd love another go," Porky said.

But Eddie couldn't watch Isbe in between them anymore. This kid was so eager to prove he had a dick instead of a pickle between his legs he might hurt her and then they'd have a big problem cause he only thought he was protecting Isbe. He only thought that.

"Isbe," Eddie said pulling her toward him. She resisted some but she was far from stupid. Placating him would be more effective than wrestling with the cub. She was smart that way.

Eddie had his arm around her waist. The kid hated this, and Eddie tightened his hold. "You want to touch my money?" That money had stuck its finger in this kid's eye, but it's Isbe Porky wanted more. That was the truth.

He kissed Isbe's cheek. She was just tolerating him. He released her, annoyed that she worried over him bullying the little shit.

"Tell you what," he went for his shirt balled on the floor and pulled it swiftly over his head, "let's take Isbe home and I might let you count my money."

"Where'd you get all this Eddie?" Isbe asked again. The moog's eyes were on Isbe as she straightened her clothes. Little Porky knew they'd been going at it when he barreled in here, no mistake on that.

Sold some stuff I brought home from the war," he told her tucking his wallet in his back pocket. "Where you think?"

He had no idea where that lie came from. Other than that Luger, he'd brought home shit. And guys had taken loot all across Europe, but the truck got so full they cleaned it all out, threw it side of the road and made a one thing apiece limit. He'd taken the Luger.

But now, it made sense, this lie, and her dark eyes were looking in to his, and maybe this was judgment day, right here, and he breathed slow cause he had outstanding poker face, even in this blinding light of hers…it made him hope he could withstand God…if she bought this. Nothing could crack him then. No one.

"Jacob," she said, "please wait downstairs."

"Isbe…."

"Wait downstairs!" she yelled. Then added, "Please."

Jacob went out and slammed the door.

She followed to the door, held the knob and seemed to be listening. After a few seconds she opened the door and looked into the hall. Apparently satisfied Porky wasn't sticking his ear where his nose had been, she shut the door. Leaning against it she said, "I'd like you to trust me with the truth."

Eddie was sitting on the bed now, tying his shoes. "What are you talking about?" he said.

"The same day you kill three men in a hold up…you have…thousands…of dollars hiding under a blanket on your bed."

Eddie got on his knees and pulled his empty duffel, only remnant of his old uniform from under his bed, and started to put the money in there. He was angry. If this is what a dame expected…fuck this. She didn't have to call him out on every move he made. He was a man and he knew what he needed to do. "I don't like to repeat."

"Eddie…I asked you…begged you not to do this."

"Do what?" he looked briefly over his shoulder. "You bring that kid up here…in my business…I don't know him. I try to get along with you…but you want…what the fuck else? Be content, Isbe. You gonna call your old man and turn me in now?"

"Oh," she said, making a clapping sound, like one fist in another. "Rose was right. She told me not to come."

He didn't lift that off. Fuck Rose too, but maybe Isbe should listen sometimes. Was he sorry to see her? He'd practically fucked her. But Porky and these questions, barging in to his business. Yeah she shouldn't have come down here. This was reckless and it had caused trouble. But…it might be alright. If she'd back off an inch.

"I'm sorry about Jacob, Eddie. But right now…this is you and me…and it doesn't make a difference?"

He shoved the last stack of bills in the bag and bounced it a little to settle the cash. He knew she drew closer. But he wasn't going to try and come up with an answer for every little thing she threw at him. Fuck that. He didn't owe all that, and she was trying to rope him that way.

"I asked you not to shut me outside," she said.

"You're in here Isbe. I got the closet…you ain't been in there, and the shitter is down the hall." He smirked like a smart ass and threw the bag over his shoulder. "You ready?"

She wasn't. She glared at him. "You make me so angry," she said, her arms folded.

He laughed. It was a little funny. It was. But he wasn't up for games. Oh he was fucking not.

"You don't need to go with us, Eddie. Jacob knows the way to my house."

They stared for a while. She broke away first.

"I'll be going," she said.

She'd just gotten to the door when he reached it, still toting the bag, his hand on the door he'd just pushed closed. "Listen," he said, smirk in place. She was mad, and he was sorry to see hurt feelings too. He knew she was telling herself he didn't notice but he noticed everything about this girl, "I ain't ready to say good-bye."

"Well maybe you don't always get what you want," she said, but the littlest quiver in her lip.

"You don't think so? I got you, didn't I?" he said this gentle.

She swallowed. He was waiting for the big disagreement. For her to lie and tell him he didn't have her. But he couldn't hold it, the asshole bit, he couldn't hold it. Damn her. He'd killed today. Not his first time to be here, it didn't bother him like she'd expect. He didn't want to bring that to her, this side. He didn't want it, didn't think it would show up here…the need to go all Audie Murphy. He was flying. See that's what it was. He was happy. Too happy. Him too happy was touchy. He could do things…say things.

But even this couldn't hold its own with her. It was melting away as he looked at her. He lifted a finger, first to the pin, there like she knew…he wanted…then to her face, her lips.

Oh, didn't she know, he did nothing, said nothing, thought nothing that she wasn't a part of…the point of. The main fucking point…of. Didn't she know? She knew.

This girl…she was him. Not his. Him. A part of him he hadn't known before. He didn't own her. He was her. He knew her. She knew him. It was all recognition now. They had things to do together, things to make, things to be, things to feel, things to…win…and hold…and know…and so….

And so…it was settled…at the door. When they left, hand in hand, she was quiet, and he was quiet, and they walked down…and out…and no one said a word, not a word as they passed, the king, and his queen.


	27. Chapter 27

Hard Hearted 27

"He ain't getting in here," Jacob said to Isbe when Eddie opened the truck's door for them both.

"You don't want me in here kid? I'm cut," Eddie said, the duffel's strap still on his shoulder, a hand splayed on his chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Isbe said quietly.

"This ain't good-bye yet," Eddie said to her, then over her head to Porky, "I'm hitching a ride to Isbe's."

"Good luck," Jacob said.

Eddie helped Isbe get in. "Scoot over," he said to her.

Isbe looked at Jacob. "Just to my house?"

Jacob sighed and looked out his window. He turned back, his mouth a straight line, glaring with that babyface. Man it was hard not to crack up, but Eddie pushed a little on Isbe and got in beside her, the bag between his feet. He slammed the door and put his arm around Isbe and smiled at Jacob. "Real righteous of you brother."

"Don't talk in my truck," Jacob said, stealing Eddie's line.

Eddie laughed out loud then. Yeah this little orangutan had some spunk. Real cutie pie.

He tightened his arm around Isbe's shoulders and kissed her hair. She tried to wiggle away a little so he'd loosen his grip. He didn't.

"Jacob's father Billy owns a gas station and Jacob helps him run it," Isbe said, proud of her baby boy.

"That's swell," Eddie said, and he'd meant it, but Isbe shot him a look like he was being a wise guy, and he held his hand up like…what?

So the attempt to make nice died in the same breeze whipping Isbe's long hair against his shoulder and face.

After that it was silence. She softened pretty quick, leaning in to him. He took advantage and pulled her closer. Damn he'd go in her window tonight for sure if he wasn't in the middle of the biggest opportunity of his life. He craved her company. After he won that fight, look out. He was going for her. Going to her. The image of her earlier in his room, on his bed, her legs open like heaven's gates, he'd never forget it, never, that slice of white, rained on, and he wanted to dwell on it, but he squeezed her tighter still, and she moved her shoulder like he'd stung her or something.

He mumbled sorry, tugged on a long lock of her hair and tried to tease her a little but she was holding fast to protecting the cub, the jealous little bitch cub who kept eying everywhere Eddie put his hands on his girl.

When they reached Isbe's house Eddie stepped down to let her out. Jacob cranked his door and ran around the bumper so he could stand near them like a cabbie worried about his fare. Damn third wheel.

"I want to say good-bye to Isbe. Keep an eye on my money?" Eddie said, pointing to the bag that sat on the floorboards while he stood beside the vehicle hoping to walk his girl to her door.

Jacob stared at him, jaw all bunched. "You brought the bank? What…a wallet ain't good enough for you? Got to carry a bag like Santa Claus?"

Jacob looked at Isbe, then away. He couldn't help laughing. He should be in the movies this fucker.

Isbe thanked Jacob like he'd healed her broken leg or something and Eddie walked Isbe closer to her front door.

"He honest?" he asked her.

"Jacob?" she said, "As the day is long."

"What about his old man?"

"He's in a wheelchair now. Legs are no good. Billy's alright."

"He get around…Billy?"

"Yeah…some. Jacob takes him around. Billy still works the register at the station. He's a good fella."

They were at her door.

"You're not going to fight…," she said.

"No. I promise," he said, sign of the cross over his heart, meeting her look, but keeping it straight cause she'd used that word, 'fight,' and he was going to…fight…like a son of bitch off the boat…that's what.

But he pulled her in to his arms and kissed her sweet.

"You can come in…come up?" she fumbled.

He threw his head back and groaned. "You ask me now?"

"You could bring your money inside…put it under my bed this time. Maybe start to tell me the truth?" She raised her brow. She was going gentle. He knew if he hung around she'd keep screwing it in until she was demanding he come clean. He added this to the list of reasons why he had to go.

He kissed her again. It was the answer to everything. She threw her arms around him and hung on for a minute. When she let go she didn't look at him. "I don't know what you're up to…but you don't fool me, Eddie. I love you because I'm honest. Not because you are."

She got him good that time, jab straight to the heart…the hustle bustle traffic jam of words and him caught in it.

"I would never two-time you baby."

"I didn't think that," she said in a high pitched voice. "Geez, Eddie. Why'd you have to say a thing like that?"

"It's usually that with br…girls, right?"

"I wouldn't know. Would you?"

"What you getting all mad about? Saying I'm not honest, shit like that."

"I only meant…are we in trouble, Eddie?"

"You and me? Hell no," he said. He stayed close to her, she let him, almost kissing but just sharing breath.

"You'd tell me, Eddie?" her hand on his cheek and he put his hand over hers.

"Yeah," he said, his arm tightening around her.

"You…wouldn't just go away?"

"I…," he turned his head and cleared his throat a little, "ain't goin' nowhere…without you baby. What are you thinkin'?"

"Bag of money in the truck, Eddie?"

He laughed easy, "I can't leave it in my room."

"It gives me the creeps but, you want to leave it here?"

"No. I'll be fine until I can…put it to bed."

"That what I said…about you not honest…I know you're a good man, Eddie, the best. That's why I…love you." She'd whispered all of this.

He wasn't going to say it back—I love you. Not here, like this, like he was so guilty he'd buy her off with it. He wasn't guilty. Fuck that. He hadn't done anything…to them. But for them…he was working on that.

"Isbe," he said, knowing she deserved something, "you gave me some pictures today…in my room? Baby…I ain't getting over that. I'd…fight for those. I'd kill a fucker for those."

She smiled a little and he knew she blushed. "Such a mouth, Eddie," but she looked at his nasty mouth and licked her lips a little.

"Think about it when you're lying up there…with you doors locked and your shade pulled like I told you."

She had all this guilt of a sudden. Those eyes showed everything. "Yeah? You still…you respect me Eddie...the way I act sometimes?"

"Think about how it's gonna be when there ain't nothing between us but…respect, not even that pink slip, that gown…think about it."

She was stuck looking at him. "Do you think about it?" she whispered.

He squeezed the daylights out of her then and groaned.

When he pulled back, "Give me that lucky clover for a couple of days?"

She didn't seem to get it for a second, then she snapped to and turned from him, undid her blouse a little and fumbled for the pin. She was rebuttoning when she turned and tried to hand it to him.

"Pin it right there," he said pointing to the pocket on his shirt.

She touched his chest and worked to pin the clover in place, his cigarette pack crunching a little. When it was done, she kissed that clover, then raised on her toes and kissed him, just a single sweet kiss on his mouth.

"Hero," she whispered. "My hero."

He swallowed another groan. She was doing just what he feared…but even if she'd disapprove of what he was going to do…she would never disapprove of him.

"Now get in there before I give this Porky something to really make his eyeballs bug out on his fat little cheeks," he told her cause love was warm in his veins.

"Eddie," she tried to chide him, but there could be no shame in him now.

He guided her in then, kissed the air, closed the door, made sure it was locked.

He let out a breath. It killed him to leave her, but if he didn't, now that might get him killed.

Satisfied he walked toward Black's truck.

Black was behind the wheel. He cranked the key. Eddie hopped in, adjusting the bag between his feet again. "Mind showing me your old man's station?"

"You serious?" Jacob said pulling in to the street.

"I'd like to see it."

"I'd like to show you the highway. So you can hitch a ride home."

"You ditching me?" Eddie laughed.

Jacob had no sense of humor. He hadn't laughed at one of Eddie's jokes all night, and he'd made a couple worth a smile at least.

"You ever fight for something?" Eddie said.

"All the time," Jacob answered. "Maybe I didn' t go over like you…don't mean I…."

"You fighting now?" Eddie cut him off.

"For Isbe? You think it's funny? Everything a joke to you?"

"Whoa, whoa, I'm just asking."

"Asking what, if I'd do anything for her?"

Eddie got pissed for a minute, jealous. "You smoke fucker?"

"Nah. Nasty habit. You smoke though…fucker."

Eddie dug in his pocket and got his pack and matches. He lit up and blew smoke out the window fingering that clover. If Jacob smoked Camels they'd be having a different conversation. He'd have him in the trees behind Isbe's about now, beating the shit from his body.

"I'd like to see your station," he said, "meet your old man."

"Why?" Jacob again.

Eddie shrugged. "I'm looking to invest."

"In Pop's station? Nobody wants that."

"Maybe I'd like to make an offer…business."

Black stared.

"What? You don't want some of this money?"

Jacob licked his lips and eyed the bag. "What I have to do for it?"

Eddie laughed. "You and your old man ever placed a bet?"

Jacob laughed then…sneered. "My old man…Isbe tell you about him?"

"What about him?"

"He don't gamble no more. Got in some trouble back in the day…had to leave New York. It was that or Ma would walk. He plays the horses…two dollars in an envelope once a week. That's it," Jacob said sharp. "He's in that chair…and Mom's been gone. I figure…it's all he's got for kicks."

Eddie touched that clover. It was working.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

In bare knuckle fighting the odds were posted after each round followed by a frenzy of betting. And since legend had it these fights could go for as much as seventy plus sessions, a lot of winning and losing might occur before a man would drop for the count.

The old London Prize Ring Rules would loosely apply here, just like in the former days when boxing in the States was illegal. There would be a purse for the victors, couple thousand or more apiece, in addition to the bets made on the side.

Bare knuckle fighting still was…illegal. But since that hadn't eradicated the sport, Eddie needed someone who could stay in the game and make book. He'd need a killer's brain, the kind he'd shown earlier in the day at Lou's. And he'd need some legs for placing the bets.

Billy proved to be the prize. He had the smarts and the will, Eddie could see that almost as soon as he saw the station, shook Billy's calloused hand, looked in his lined eager face, his birdy bright eyes. The station was closed so he invited Eddie to come around back to the trailer he and Jacob shared.

Billy had recognized Eddie's name from the story on the radio. He was bold in expressing appreciation for what Eddie had done in killing those men. "A good solution, applied with vigor now, is better than a perfect solution, applied ten minutes later," he said quoting General Patton.

That summed up Eddie's actions in Lou's store pretty damn well. "You believe that, you are exactly the man I'm looking for," Eddie said.

"I believe it. In thirty-eight when two micks came in the back door of my station I sent them to the happy hunting grounds with my old Colt pistol. One hadn't even gotten in the door."

Eddie heard Jacob's groan. But Eddie was in love with this guy.

As Jacob had told Eddie, Billy followed the races, bet with a bookie. And like many a law-abiding citizen, he wasn't averse to bending the law to make a buck…or kill a mick.

Jacob had the legs. And some skill. He had a nice repair shop going in the two bays at the station. He worked on automobiles and motorcycles. Young as he was, he had something to offer. Not to Isbe,as she was taken. Eddie had made that clear. But in truth, Jacob was no bum.

So he sat at the Black's small kitchen table, bag of money at his feet, and at ten o'clock at night Billy fried them ham and eggs.

Two am and four beers later he was falling asleep on the Blacks broken down sofa. Eddie knew Em would be going out of his mind looking for him, so as soon as he awoke he went out to the station and called Gorilla on the phone there. Billy's chair was pulled up to a desk and he flashed the newspaper he'd been reading at Eddie. He'd made page two.

"If I wasn't saving myself for the fights I'd pound the shit out of you, fucker," Emmie was saying in Eddie's ear. They'd missed a meeting with Carl.

Yeah, yeah. Eddie would give him that. But he hadn't been spinning his wheels either.

"I got the guys to bet our money," he said. Our money. Lou's money. When he got off the phone with Emmie he'd call the hospital and see how Lou fared. He figured Sal was in town by now.

Emmie said the address for the fight had been rolled in a tight little scroll and stuck in an ear. This was left in the driver's seat of the Buick. Emmie had pulled the rolled piece of paper from the ear's fragile hole. "Listen up," it read. Then it gave the address.

Later, when Eddie had called the hospital and found out Lou still hung on, and later still, just a couple of hours before the fight, the monkeys were in the Buick headed for their arena. They had no idea who the ear belonged to. Once they'd all three seen it, and Eddie commented on Uncle Carl's outstanding sense of humor, Emmie threw it out the window as they drove down to the docks and the warehouse. The Blacks, including Billy's cousin Seth, a big guy Billy brought for back-up, followed in Jacob's truck.

The monkeys were quiet. Eddie barely introduced them to the Blacks. It didn't matter. The Blacks needed to know the right faces to bet on, "This gorilla and that baboon," is what he said to Billy as he pointed to Emmie and Jasper respectively.

Jacob got Billy's chair out of the bed of Black's truck. He placed Eddie's duffle on the seat and Seth dragged Billy out of the vehicle and sat him on top of the money. Billy got situated and he wheeled himself then, laughing over how his arms could just reach the wheels with the added height of Eddie's bag. Jacob ended up pushing the old man.

It was up to the monkeys to win. It was up to the Blacks to bet smart, and sometimes that might include betting against one of them for a round. Billy made the call.

There had to be a thousand people here, that's what Eddie thought as they made their ways inside. If the coppers came, it would get wild but he'd have to get to Billy and his money. Jacob knew and Seth knew too. Save the money.

The bookie's lined one side of the big room. The bettors lined up at the tables. There were no chairs, it was standing all around, one after another, lots of hats and smoke and mouths open and sound, your ears could bleed is what Eddie thought, even the ear they'd thrown out the window could bleed in a crowd like this.

Carl was there, money in his hand, cigar between his teeth, and the thugs around him, some dames too, shit and hardy har about the message, the ear. ..

"You fight first," he told Emmie. Jasper went next. Eddie was last.

Carl was going on about Eddie being in all the papers. Killing three men, three fucking men. His eyes were on Eddie, all the time, everytime Eddie looked, Uncle Carl was burning holes…. They were touting him as the hero. The moogs were betting their farms. The Irish, the luck of the Irish.

Word was out around here, Carl said, then some fuckety fuck about the blowing off a meeting earlier. Em didn't answer. Then they followed Carl and the various vegetables in his squad to a back room. They had to strip there, those dames ogling boldly, them in their skivvies, handed gaudy green shorts cause they fought for the Irish or some bullshit. They'd predetermine to wear their boots, the ones they'd bought to work construction. Those would do, Carl said, big laugh, kick the shit or something…pugilists, Carl was saying. It was all like a dream, a dream, and he unpinned the clover and there, inside the waist of his shorts, he let it dig in his side.

"Eddie," Em yelled. "Other end of the hall. That big one is yours." When they'd marched back out to a big sound and the crowd parted and they touched them as they went by, but Carl's men were around, those fucks, pushing back the hands, some of them held money and they wanted to rub it on the Irish…for luck.

So he was fighting another Mick, face broad and thick, like the one at Carl's—Potato face. This Mick he'd call Potato Two. Fry him good. Real good.

These three fuckers had blue trunks. So the Irish liked blue? Who knew, he said something like that to Jasper. Jasper laughed. He never showed nerves, except around Alice a couple of times. But baboon didn't want to mess up his hands. His uncle was letting him apprentice, working for the card the real way, and he felt like he owed him. Yeah he'd said that. They knew. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but what they had to do next…the fight.

He fingered the clover. Nothing mattered but Isbe. This was for her. That's what would make him last. Isbe. And the son of a bitch in him so deep, the one his father could never touch, the one that almost outgrew his own skin. He thanked his father then cause nothing could stop him now…having survived the old man…nothing would stop him.

Baboon was quiet. Emmie was sweating, his chest and shoulders shiny, and those Irish moogs around Carl were talking to Em, wiping him off, slapping his back cause he was first out of the chute.

But the truth? He loved it. Eddie loved it…the desperate press…the dark threat and him in a ten gallon white hat. He knew Baboon was in. That's why he was here. And Em…he'd taught them how to think and not let the anger blind you so much you made a mistake. Tonight, they fought for themselves. For a reason. An excuse. For money. Filthy lucre. The root of all evil. The green.

Jasper's opponent was a wire, a whip. Em's a German icebox. They were well matched here in the Garden where the lion laid down with the lamb until the bell rang…then all out hell.


	28. Chapter 28

Thank you for letting me know. I read every word.

Hard Hearted 28

Jabs and hooks. That was Emmie's style. He focused on it, tightened the scope and kept pounding. He liked it that way, on his feet, strong in his arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, powerful. You had to admire it. Eddie did.

The hard thing for Emmie was taking it slow. The purse would stand no matter how many rounds, but the side bets, they had to be milked. Up and down and drag your feet, your ass. Em didn't go in close, he didn't rest. He just kept coming. Jabs and hooks.

When his guy was fresh, Em took a couple of hits, and he wasn't so good at taking a fist, not like you'd think. He didn't mind the pain, but pain for Em brought shame. Quick shame. That was a weakness, the pride. That's why he kept slugging.

He'd taught the monkeys about the anger, not letting it rule, but he hadn't taught them how to take the shame of allowing a man to hit you, and hit you, while you waited to make your big move.

There was technique, rolling with the punch, protecting the mid-line, elbows on the ribs, chin down, fists up, but the shame…Eddie knew all about it, that's what he thanked his father for the most cause you had to suffer to overcome it, go to the mine, deep in the darkness and chisel for gold. That's how you learned to stand when the beating was over and the shame stared at you from the mirror wanting the last shreds you'd managed to protect.

His dad he could survive…but himself…the way he felt inside…he was working on it.

Em went ten rounds. It was just enough but nothing to celebrate. Fuck that, he'd rushed. He'd needed to feel the win, and now he did, his beefy arm raised, three tattooed soldiers turned on their heads and God bless America.

Em's tired grin, sweat shining like diamonds in his hair, top of his head, under his arm, the gorilla on his bunched, powerful shoulder as the ref turned him slow. King of the jungle.

The icebox was bleeding from his ears, eyes and mouth. Led into the crowd like a disappearing dragon's tale, a defeated beast, the bodies closed behind him, he was already chewed, and now effectively swallowed. Shame.

Jasper liked it on the ground. He was long-limbed, his strength in his whole body, and he'd need his legs to win. So once his opponent was down, he wasn't getting back up until the round ended.

Jasper had to get him down each time, and the moog thought each round would be different, but it never was, baboon sweeping the idiot's legs out from under him soon as he went in, the crowd saying "oh," as one big note of frustration or admiration, depending which way they'd thrown their money.

Twelve rounds, twelve times knocking the other one to the rough floor. Once he had him down Jasper got on him like a barnacle. Em wasn't too tired to watch Baboon and shout instructions. Jasper wouldn't hear, not in this weeping and wailing, but he'd know that thick bottomed tone of Em's and it's that he'd let in to fire him, inspire him.

Once Baboon got on him, he got his arm around the guy's neck and he choked and choked. It was dirty fighting, street fighting, fighting for real, fighting to kill, the ref was screaming, the crowd was on fire, get on your feet, keep him down, choke the fucker, beat the fucker, win!

And he did, his hair pulled, shoulder bitten, back clawed, Baboon stood tall, his arm too long for the ref to grab at the wrist, but it waved like a flagpole in the ref's hand.

Eddie looked at Jasper's hands, bloody, most of it the other guy's, that's what he hoped. But Jasper had kept his fingers in the other moog's mouth, pulling at his jaw all the time from inside so…time would tell if his fingers got mistook for a pork chop.

Eddie knew he shouldn't, but before he went into the circle he searched the crowd for Billy, for Jacob or their big cousin. He caught a glimpse, Billy's chair lifted on some kind of loading dock so he was above the crowd, so he could see, and Carl up there with him, and them having their own fight looked like, and Eddie knew so much, in that one look.

Billy knew Carl. Carl was pissed. Billy was too. That…was the fight…the real fight.

It was time. Images came at Eddie, like God Himself fanned His hand making random scenes flip through his mind like a picture show…the time they'd been lined up for Christmas, cold and hungry, ready to storm that village, and they knew they might not make it, and he thought of dying on Christmas, and he said hell no.

And the mirrors ceiling to floor in that mansion, him and his buddy looked at each other, then fired into the glass, and the sparkling shower, the sound, like Christ coming…angry glitter…wrath and joy, gasps and smiles, beautiful, magical destruction.

And the time he laid in his foxhole and its mud sides quivered in, the earth shivered the bomb had landed so close.

And his old man…the beatings, with the rod, his fist, his open hand, the belt, the cane…and the dirty, dirty feel of it inside that he'd buried.

The rage those three fuckers brought back when they'd pointed their weapons at him…after all he'd been through, after getting so close…after being in love…they held life and death in their hands…his life…his death…ah fuck no.

Billy knew Carl. They were fighting. The betrayal…this fucking life.

"Hero," he heard his name and they went wild then and his arm was lifted, hoo-rah, hoo-ray, and he stepped in the middle, and he remembered where everything was as Potato Two stepped close and glared in his face, garlic somewhere, like this moog had rubbed his mug with it, and he remembered the room, cause he'd use the whole thing, even the crowd, whatever it took, the time for thinking was past. It was just him and this beast now. This ox no more human than taties sizzling in grease…with the cabbage.

He kept moving. His father wouldn't allow it. Part of his submission in taking the punishment was standing still, completely still, awaiting his fate. Like now. Like this.

He let his feet dance around some, move around this moog. He heard Em's big mouth, "Breathe you chimp fucker."

And he let his lungs open and some air rushed in.

"Settle down," Baboon called out. And he breathed and he did…settle…for nothing.

The crowd went away, and there was just this potato…needing mashed…needed shredded. It was all…his…fault. This moog.

He jabbed and got past the big gates. Blood spurted from the guy's nose.

Roar in his ears, and he felt the numbness leave his legs. He was here now, all here.

Potato came in swinging. Eddie blocked some, and Em yelled he should breathe again and he had to remember that. Eddie jabbed him hard, right in the nose, the crowd yelled like crazy, but fucker didn't go down. Potato had blood pouring into his mouth. So Eddie had the warm slick sick of this moog's blood all over his fists. If victory had a color…it was red.

He had that brick wall, the crowd parting as he drove Potato against it, and he hooked him right then left, good solid punches to the jaw, the worst kind, and he heard the crowd yelling for Two to get off the wall and he stepped back so this moog could go to his knees and Eddie socked him side of the head and he fell over like he'd been shot and the crowd's big voice went up with a kind of release, and Eddie opened his mouth to yell with them….

That's when he heard the whistle.

And he turned toward the sound and people ran past and he was jostled and shoved, and he tried to stand his ground, but he got pushed into the mick on the floor and he stumbled over that fuck until his shoulders hit the wall, and still they were running, and he remembered the money, and Billy, and he saw him then, Charlie Swan, blowing the whistle again, "Round 'em up, round 'em up," Swan was yelling, like that.

They were busted.


	29. Chapter 29

Hard Hearted 28

He didn't like closed in places—jail cells, closets, tanks, jail cells, coffins and jail cells.

He didn't like a lack of choice. Who did? Not him—his green shorts and his work boots and his tattoos and the close mill of twenty-five unhappy souls and press and the smell and the arguing and the foul mood that settled like a cloud of gas and choked the hope and dreams right out of them. He was a full-fledged monkey now, taken right out of the trees and stuck in the zoo.

Emmie wanted to talk about Swan's ear, even in the paddy wagon, especially there, did Eddie see the bandage on that moog's ear? Or the place where an ear should go…bandaged? Isbe's own father. Shit! What if…? Shit!

"Maybe he tried to get an earring, you know like the gypsies we seen over there?" Em finally said, and laughed. Or tried to.

But Eddie hadn't laughed. He wasn't laughing now. Charlie belonged to Carl.

This was a cage. "You don't need more room than this right here," Em said to Eddie, standing as he was by the bars, looking across the way at the rest of the monkeys no better off than him.

Eddie needed to go and keep going and going. He needed to move, that's all. Being locked up dug in him like a spoon going for a scoop of his heart, and another, and another, until it was gone and in its place the hollow, filling up with liquid…the big shaking swim of bloody nothing.

Now he did remember the closet, his father walking away and the waterbugs running over his legs and up his arms in the dark. The knowing…he was alone, and Ma gone was all his fault. Fuck that, he wished he could tell the younger him…kick the door down Buddy, then drive a fork in that fucker's eye. You'll be okay…if you keep moving.

And inside the tank, the other Buick, the airless feel, sardine in a tin can waiting for the hammer's blow. He rode across Europe in the half-track…so he could breathe.

"I want out," he'd dared to say, to Em. Then he laughed cause fuck it, two men in green skivvies, locked with these moogs, some wearing suits, all of them pissed and hit hard in the wallet.

They all wanted out.

But him…none so much as him.

He fingered the clover through his waistband. One piece seemed ready to break off.

Uncle Carl wasn't here. Not him nor one of his. Not Billy, not Seth, but across the way…two in the blue-the icebox and Jasper's fucker. Eddie knew Potato Two wasn't moving when he was hauled away.

And the orangutan, Jacob Black. He stared at that one when he could get a clear shot cause pup hadn't left the corner where his legs were bent, arms around, and he rocked, head on his knees.

It calmed Eddie some to think that fucking kid was as miserable as him.

"Hell of a fight, hell of a fight," they said to Em and him, the others in here, and Em started to taunt those other two across the way, the ones wearing blue.

"Hey, where's your pants fucker? Where's your pants?" he said again and again. "Do I have to beat you again? What you lookin' at? What you grinnin' at jack-o-lantern?"

It got the men in their cell and even the one across the way laughing. Eddie didn't feel a part of it, didn't feel present.

He wanted out and his stomach quivered as he hung his hands through the bars. He'd went over his steps since the robbery at Lou's, Swan there, the moog brought him home. He'd called Emmie and gone to see if Lou was alive, then straight back to Lou's shop to get the dough. Back in his room counting the dough, Isbe came. The kid Jacob with her. He hitched that ride and passed the night at Billy's, got back to his room late morning and Emmie was waiting, antsy as fuck cause that ear…and then the fight. They'd had the fight….

But right before-Billy and Carl arguing.

The sins of the fathers, always that. He'd thought he'd paid enough for those, but what was enough?

Isbe Swan. No, it would kill him to think of her now, though he was never not thinking of her. If she saw him, as he was…if she knew….

Her old man….

Speak of the devil, Charlie Swan was before him, in the flesh, right there, bandage on his ear seeping red. Smoking down that Camel, a nice green beneath his tan. Swan gave Eddie a cigarette, lit it for him, and other guys were there asking…monkeys, wanting that first puff, then the next…and a phone call, a phone call, a word.

Swan ignored everyone but Eddie. He stepped back and another copper opened the cage and Swan motioned for Eddie to come out. Em came forward and they pushed him back and closed the door. "Hey…he out? You gettin' out Eddie? Hey, copper, he out?"

Eddie looked back at Gorilla, and Swan pushed him forward and they went to a small room, table and chairs. And two came in besides Swan and one hit Eddie solid with the end of his stick, right in the breadbasket and knocked his air cause he'd barely had time to tense his stomach. Shit.

He was bent over, hand on the table to keep himself on his feet. He could almost hear Em telling him to breathe. Well he was trying.

"Hero," Swan said when Eddie straightened. Eddie had dropped his smoke and motioned for permission to get it. If not for Isbe, this would be his move, when he'd go for fucking Swan and get some good licks in before they restrained him and beat the shit out of him. Or tried.

But he picked up his smoke instead, straightened and Charlie motioned he should sit in a chair.

His men stood ready to do Swan's bidding. "Trouble-maker. Law-breaker," Swan said, his back straight, his thumb hooked in his belt. "I'm starting to wonder, company you keep."

"Nice ear-muff," Eddie said, the cigarette hanging from his lip. One hand on his stomach, the other still on the table.

They stared at one another. Fucking thing, Isbe got her beautiful eyes from this sludge pile. Talk about a silk purse from a sow's ear. He should say that. But not her name. He couldn't say her name to this mother. Fucker.

"You think this is funny?" Swan pointed to the ear that no longer was.

He hadn't been laughing that he knew of, but now he was. He laughed, like usual. He'd tried not to…once, and this particular laugh, you couldn't shut it down.

He laughed and he got the stick between his shoulders, and once he could breathe that damn laugh was back.

He looked at Swan. He didn't hate. He didn't. Except for where this moog failed Isbe. He hated him for that. He hated himself the same way. But this thing here? It was funny. Funnier still if he punched him on that muff.

"If," Eddie tried to say, wishing Em could hear this, or Baboon. Baboon would love this, "If we'd of known…we," and he had to stop here cause the laugh, it took him over for a few seconds, and he wiped tears and he said, "we wouldn't of thrown it out the window." He about collapsed then, and that fucker hit him with the stick on his shoulder, and he grabbed it then and ripped it out of his hand and the other one got on him and Swan had his gun.

He didn't fight, he let them drag him to the corner and he took a couple of kicks to the ribs.

"That's enough," Swan said.

Oh shit that hurt. He was panting and holding his side. "Fourth and Killarney is where we threw it…I think. There was a dog…." He laughed like a loon then.

"If it was up to me I'd of thrown you off the wagon," Swan yelled.

Eddie had a couple of good replies, but he swallowed them. He wanted to ask Swan who he took his orders from. But then he knew.

"Go out," Charlie said over his shoulder to the other two. The one glared at Eddie, smacking the stick against his palm, walking backwards the short distance to the door. They went out.

"You stay the hell away from my daughter," Swan said next, his teeth there, beneath that moustache, his teeth like old piano keys clenched with hate.

"Who…?"

"You think I wouldn't know?"

Course he would know. Fuck him.

"Stay away from her or so help me God I'll kill you."

Eddie stared. "I can't agree to that."

Swan got in his face, "I ain't asking. Get out of my town." He backed off then. "I had my way you'd be dead already. I see you again, you will be."

He left Eddie in the room then, and he looked around for his smoke but it was done for. He got on his feet and rubbed out the Camel with the toe of his boot. Shit. Heels of his hands in his eyes. Shit.

Stick man came in with some hobo clothes for him to wear. He'd been bailed out, he said.

"What happened to this guy?" Eddie asked motioning toward the pile of clothes, but Stick man ignored him and crossed his arms.

He got on the high-waters and the raggedy shirt and followed the copper to the front office. Em was there, still in his green pants, but Baboon had given him his shirt and stood there in his undershirt looking unusually sober about things.

"Boo," Eddie said, trying not to look as screwed as he felt. "Hey what about Black?"

Baboon shrugged. "Can't do it."

Eddie said, "How much you got? That fucker is going nuts in there."

Eddie and Em were broke and Jasper wasn't much better. He'd had to pay his uncle back the fees for his apprenticeship, he said. He was broke.

"Thanks for getting us out of there," Eddie said.

Jasper almost shook Eddie's hand then, but held off, pulling back his porkchop, wiggled his bitten fingers. Shit.

"I'm fired," Jasper said, "but he made good on the bail. And the fines. Didn't wait around."

"God bless him," Eddie said. "Think he'll take you back?"

Jasper looked at the floor and shook his head. Then at Eddie, "They work you over in there?"

"I don't know." Eddie walked past. He had to get out of the door.

Outside he tried to breathe, but his ribs…he couldn't pull very deep. He wouldn't stay away from her, no use lying to himself about that. Swan must have known all along the spying fuck. What happened to, "Think about joining the academy?" Where'd that guy go…that fuck. He'd said he wanted him thrown off the wagon. And he was going to kill him.

Isbe would choose Eddie.

But choosing Eddie meant what—some good times at Shiney's? He had nothing to offer. If she lost her home…if she had to choose…he had nothing to offer…yet…but himself…his kind of love…whatever it was…hard hearted bastard love. Right now…he was a loser.

He could lay off a few days, heal up some. That's if she'd let him. He could move so she couldn't find him for a while. That might give him time to let things shake out, see what he had left, where to go next, if he still had a job even. He could do that. Sleep in back of the shop maybe.

If he could bear to stay away.

Em and Jasper were behind him. "Hey…put me up a few days?"

Em shrugged. "Couch is yours."

"What about me?" Jasper asked.

"Floor," Em said.

Yeah, that would do—couch, not floor. Or floor. He'd stay away from Isbe, just for a while, until he got to the bottom of it and made sure he wasn't putting her in harm's way. All the shit that went down at that fight…and since…and still…and all the fathers and uncles in the shadows pulling the strings.

He'd stay away for a few days. But he should give her something, something big to make it up…all the crap…to let her know he wasn't running away.

Right now, he had so much to do. The shop and Sal. Billy's—his money and springing Jacob. He had so much to do before Charlie Swan tried to kill him.

And he fought back.

Yeah maybe he should tell Isbe, warn her? Tell her what…I may have to kill your fucking dirty copper old man?

He didn't want her coming to his building. He just needed a few days to get things sorted. He had to find out what happened to his money. He needed that money and he needed his job. Fuck Charlie Swan..the burgomeister with the missing ear. Fuck the burgomeister. No one was going to tell him where he had to go.

And who he couldn't love. He got out of the dark scary closet years ago, fought his way out, and the closet couldn't hold him. Didn't he say that? Not the closet, not the tank, not the coffin…well maybe the coffin, but he wasn't going easy. He wasn't climbing in for anyone.

Oh…and fuck Uncle Carl. It was rotten, it was all rotten. He just had to find out how far the rotten went. Then he'd see.

They would see…the boy…was a man…the man…was a soldier…and a lover…and a killer…and a monkey, one of three, and they were going to make things right in the zoo, where the animals lived.

But right now he was starving. "Come on," he told the monkeys, Em still in his green shorts. "I still got credit at the diner."


	30. Chapter 30

Hard Hearted 30

Thank you for your kind words.

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Billy was lying on the kitchen floor in his trailer. If he wasn't dead he was out cold.

Eddie dropped to his knee beside the older man and worked two fingers against his pouchy neck. "Still tickin'."

Jasper righted Billy's chair and Em helped Eddie get Billy seated. Eddie held on to the man while he came to. Em reached in his mouth and took the false teeth that hung in there threatening to choke him. Eddie about gagged watching Em do that and Jasper said, "Oh fucker!"

Em threw the teeth in the sink and wiped his hand on the front of Billy's shirt. He ran a glass of water and handed it to Billy.

"Thanks," Billy said. "Where's your pants?"

"You got some I could borrow?" Em said.

"Help yourself," Billy gestured to the back of the trailer.

He didn't remember much. He was sitting at the table having a drink waiting for Seth to come in. The door opened with a bang and before he could turn…that's all he remembered.

"Jacob is still in jail," Eddie said.

"Jacob's truck out there?" Billy asked.

It was not.

Billy gingerly fingered the egg on his head. The monkeys looked at one another.

"You saying it's all gone?" Em said.

They waited while Billy slowly raised his head. "You hear me say that?"

Billy reached in his shirt then. He had some folded bills. Two hundred dollars.

He handed this to Eddie. "Will you get Jacob out?"

"That's it old man?" Em said, back in some funny looking overalls.

"Open the cabinet," Billy motioned toward the cabinet under the sink. Since Em was closest, he did that. There was a board, broken through the middle like a snapped cracker, and a dark hole that showed.

"The bag is in there," Billy said and Emmie squatted and pulled the bag up.

"Come to Papa," Em said. He and Jasper counted eleven thousand.

"He took the winnings, " Billy said, "eight thousand."

"Seth? You brought in a thief?" Eddie said.

"He got the bets placed. He helped double your money. When the police came in…it got him when they charged in like that. Then someone tried to overtake, rob us by Jacob's truck. Seth knocked him unconscious…or maybe he killed him. But he saved the money. If it wasn't for Seth…. He's not all bad."

"He took our money," Em said. "He's all bad."

"Where do I find him?" Eddie asked.

"Hot Springs," Billy said.

"Where's Hot Springs?" Emmie asked.

"Arkansas," Billy said as if Em was daft. "I doubled the money on the first two fights, but placed eight hundred on Eddie's first round. The cops came before it paid out. Plus the two hundred I just gave you to make Jacob's bail. There was nineteen thousand give or take in that bag."

"How do you know it was Seth? You said you didn't see who hit you?" Eddie asked.

"It was Seth."

"Where does this thief live?" Emmie said.

"A mile from here. He won't be there. He's on his way to Hot Springs. Like I said. On the way home last night he was mad at me. He said we didn't owe you nothing over the seed money. We argued. He helped me in and we sat and had a few drinks and he went on about keeping some of the money. He went out to cool off and…he came back.

"Can you get Jacob out with that?" Billy said, referring to the two hundred he'd stashed in his shirt.

Jasper and Em left to do that and Eddie sat at the table across from Billy.

"Maybe Seth went home," Eddie said.

"No," Billy said. "He'll go to Hot Springs for a month, maybe longer, gamble and stay pickled. He'll be back with just enough gas to make it here and two dimes in his pocket."

"That's my money!" Eddie said. "You said we could trust him."

Billy stared some. "You brought me in to a fixed game. The Irish. Seth is the only reason I got out with anything. Irish cops and Irish gangsters…Irish politicians, the only difference is the uniform. You Irish?"

"Half." Eddie sat back in his chair.

He took out his new pack of cigarettes and lit one, offered one to Billy and lit it for him. "You don't trust the Irish?"

"You know what they say, 'You can trust three Irish men to keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

"What about Carl," Eddie said. "I saw him on that platform next to you, in your fucking ear. What was I looking at?"

"He wanted to know how I was heeled. He knows me…way back. He was trying to figure how it played out. You never said where you got this money. And I never asked. But when we got out of the warehouse and were followed to the truck…it wasn't a copper. My guess is it was someone Carl had on us…to take our dough. If it wasn't for Seth I wouldn't have made it. Seth cold-cocked that guy. He felt like he earned that money, that you put us at risk. You got to know how he's thinking."

"It was a fucking illegal fight from go! He knew that!" Eddie yelled.

They sat in silence then, smoking their fags.

"Well," Billy said finally, "I'm none the worse."

Eddie dug in the bag and counted five hundred. "Here's your five percent of the take and extra for your head," Eddie said. He wasn't counting the two hundred to get Jacob out clean.

Billy took the money and they shook hands. "Fuck sake," Eddie said, and they shook heartily.

Billy asked Eddie to hand him a jar and Eddie took one off the counter. Billy proceeded to pee in it. Eddie swore and opened the door and looked out at the trees until Billy grunted in satisfaction. He sat the nearly filled jar right there on the table. But he screwed the lid on it.

"You sure it's Hot Springs?" Eddie asked bringing the trash can and motioning Billy should throw the jar in there.

"Yeah," Billy said. "He lived through the war he promised himself he'd go. He ain't been right since he come back, drinks too much. He's not evil, just…angry." Billy stared some, like he wanted to say more but decided to swallow it.

"Toss the piss. I don't want to look at it," Eddie snapped, pushing the can closer to Billy with his foot.

"It's for the garden. Best fertilizer there is!"

"Crazy man," Eddie whispered sitting down. "Say what you want about the Irish. They don't piss on their potatoes. You got a fucking map?"

They were studying the map when Jacob came home in a foul mood. He was mad at the world. That Seth took his truck made him clear the dishes off the counter. He swore he was going to track Seth down. Emmie and Jasper were set to go too.

"Don't kill him," Billy said.

They weren't out to kill anybody, but maybe Seth would have a long, penniless walk home.

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From Billy's Jacob directed them around the neighborhood to anyplace Seth was known to haunt. They drove by Seth's house. He still lived with his mother and she said he hadn't come home. Then they went to his work, but he hadn't come in. And why would he with all that money? Then just to make sure he wasn't around they drove to his girlfriend's house. She hadn't seen him either, and she wanted to know why they were asking and who they were. She knew Jacob, but who were the others? Finally they checked his bar. He wasn't there either, but no one was this early in the morning. Looked like they had to drive clear to Hot Springs. Without jobs, they were up for it. Jacob wanted to go, but Eddie said no. They'd bring his truck home. He argued some, and Jasper said, "Let him come."

Eddie didn't feel it, but he gave in. He told Jacob, "You ride with us, Orangutan, you keep your mouth shut."

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Then Emmie drove them to Lou's store. The front doors were propped open and a large paneled truck sat in the lot. Several men were bringing what looked like damaged goods into the truck using handtrucks or pure muscle. Eddie went in the shop, the monkeys and the orangutan not too far behind.

Near the back where his counter was, he saw the man in charge. Sal resembled Lou. He was the better looking one, not that he was going to win any beauty contests, but he was thirty pounds lighter and he had that tan made him look like some has-been gigolo.

"Now what?" Sal said having signed a clipboard and turned toward Eddie.

"I'm Eddie Masen. I rent this space," Eddie gestured toward what had been an organized work space last time he saw it. Now it was a trash heap of radios knocked to the floor, parts strewn all over, his tools dumped.

"You're Eddie? The guy who…?"

"Yeah that's me," Eddie said, unable to take his eyes off the mess that had been his business.

The whole place was turned to garbage. Looked like anything that had survived was being shuttled out the back, and the rest was going out the front.

"What happened here?" Eddie said. "Did you…?"

"Looters did this. Tore the place apart during the night like they were looking for the golden egg. I came in here this morning, I called the police, the insurance man and local salvage."

"Damn." Eddie looked around. The monkeys had taken off in different directions looking at the carnage.

Eddie's bet—this was coppers.

"How's Lou?" Eddie said.

"Ain't you heard? Lou died last night."

Even when you knew death was on the table, it always packed a punch, even in the war where they raced to keep the bodies picked up. Eddie was blinking. "Lou's…?"

"Yeah. His wife is all tore up. And our mother… mio Dio. All he had was in this shop and that safe."

"I'm…real sorry." Eddie doubted this was all Lou had. His dark red Cadillac was probably still out back and Eddie didn't get the feeling he'd lived in an outhouse.

"Yeah, about that…you did what you could, right?" Sal said, intent stare, dismissing Lou's death, but focused on Eddie.

"You act fast," Eddie said. "This is a big mess to be hauling out so quickly."

"Why wait? I'm anxious to settle this out and get back to Florida."

They had another stare off.

"The cops said the safe was closed, that Lou never got the safe open. I talked to Stan and he said different. He said that safe was opened," Sal said.

Eddie smiled. "You gonna tell me that guy remembers anything? He got shot."

"Well who fired first?"

"Why you asking? They weren't just here to rob. They weren't leaving witnesses."

"So you didn't see Lou open the safe?"

"They told Lou to open the safe. I asked for a smoke and all hell broke loose."

"You killed three guys. You telling me you did that with a cigarette?" Sal said.

"I tell you dat?" Speaking of, Eddie dug for a smoke. He wasn't going to belabor this point.

Sal was well kept, oily hair and soft hands with these fingernails, shirt showing the rug on his chest. He wore jewelry. Now what the fuck was that? And cologne! Eddie thought he was getting gassed.

Eddie was still in his sharecroppers clothes from the prison's charity box. Jasper was still in his undershirt, no sleeves, tattoos on display, even half his baboon on his back. Emmie was running around here in those gas station pants Billy gave him and Jacob had spent the night in prison and he looked and smelled like he'd been in some kind of a human hovel.

"If Lou opened that safe then you and me might have a problem," Sal said, red lips pursed like a tsk-tsk face or some bullcrap.

"Oh shit?" Jasper whispered, smiling. Eddie hadn't realized Baboon stood behind him. "He took care of your problem fanuke," Jasper said.

"How? What he do for me?" Sal said, the real Sal coming out now. He was going all Italian, the accent strong.

"I'm gonna get my tools," Eddie said, a long look at Sal then walking off to gather his stuff.

He found his box and started to sort through the wreckage for his equipment. The few customers he'd had would be pissed when they came for their radios and the store was closed. He pulled tags where he could so he could call and explain.

"You can't take anything. The insurance company sold all this to salvage."

"My stuff too?"

Sal didn't answer.

"Then you pay me for it," Eddie said.

"I need receipts."

Eddie took a drag of his smoke and looked around. "How's Lou's wife coming out on this?"

"Don't worry about her. She's coming out like a rose. Fucking broads."

Jasper was behind Sal, looking wide-eyed, raising his brows and mugging some. Eddie felt that laugh coming. He didn't care about anything here. He surprised himself at how quickly he could detach.

"You connected?" Sal asked out of the clear blue.

"Connected like dots and shit?" Eddie said, and Baboon bent over and laughed like a punk.

"One of the coppers said you're connected," Sal pushed, glaring at Jasper, glaring at them both.

"Oh…that be Officer Swan?"

"Yeah. Charlie Swan. He said you're a thug. You were in jail this morning on another rap. He told me that. Lou know all this when he took you on…your affiliation with criminals?"

Eddie made his way around the counter, around Sal, but that fuck stepped right in his path like he was waiting for an answer.

"Only criminals I affiliated with were the First Army Second Division Company B. Now get out of my way," Eddie said.

"Better move stew," Jasper said all sing-song from behind Sal. That one stepped aside.

"I got a witness says that safe was opened," Sal repeated as Eddie walked away.

"You don't have shit," Jasper said, then he followed Eddie.

Emmie was already outside talking to the guys loading the truck out there. He saw Eddie and Jasper and he moved toward the Buick. "Where's the kid?" he called.

Sal had followed them. He stood in the door. "If Lou opened that safe, you closed it. You were the only one who could have. The cop said it was closed when they got here."

Eddie stopped near the Buick. Em was quizzing Jasper as to what this moog was getting at.

"Hold on, hold on," Em said, hands patting the air as he took some steps toward Sal. "What are you saying fucker? You accusing Eddie of something? That what this is?"

"You hold on," Sal said bold, one arm across his body and the other pointing straight at Em. "That safe was low. There should have been four times that much in there. Lou just got a shipment."

"Guess you and Lou got some arithmetic to work out," Em said, obviously not knowing Lou was writing on that great chalkboard in the sky. Now Em pointed at Eddie as he readied himself to get in the car and tried not to guffaw, "But you say anything to this man, anything at all, it's thank-you. Hear me fucker? Thank you for bailing out your Italian ass, and your mamas and your papas, and thank-you for killing those son of a bitches who held up your store."

Sal had folded his big hairy arms and Em backed away bobbing his head, then he got to the Buick and opened the door and got in with a swift angry movement, then they all did, Jacob running out last when Em started the engine and getting in behind Jasper.

Em backed out, then peeled out like a punk and they laughed then. None of them had seen action in Italy, but still and all…this fucker should say thank-you cause he was one of the ones milking the land of the free for all it was worth while they were over there getting their asses strafed. So they milked him a little, so what? He was nothing but a crook, a fence, him and Lou, but Lou had a heart at least.

So how they did laugh and Jacob was complaining about it, hands over his ears and he better get used to it. Once they got done at Uncle Carl's, Arkansas was a good long ride.

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Emmie went in to Mel's in his borrowed britches and his boots and Jasper's shirt. Uncle Carl was not at Mel's. He'd gotten called to New York on business. His boy didn't know when he'd be back.

Em said this as he got in the Buick. He was fuming. "I asked that moog about our money and he said he didn't know about that. He said no money on the fight. He said the coppers stripped the bookies."

"Same difference," Jasper said. "Coppers got it, Carl's got it. Carl's outfit owns the bookies and the cops. There's no difference."

"I got us this," Em said holding up a few hundred dollars.

Jasper grabbed it and counted. "Four hundred eighty. You take it off that fucker?"

"Broke a chair over his head and cleaned out his wallet," Em said.

"You work fast as old Sal," Jasper said handing the money back to Em.

"Tell me it was Potato," Eddie said. "We should of all gone in."

"It was him."

They hooted then.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

After changing their clothes and cleaning out their rooms, and loading their meager belongings in the Buick, and after a brief stop at Em's so he could change and pack a bag, a literal brown paper bag, and Eddie and Jasper could dump most of their stuff, they decided to make one last stop. Ma Bell's.

Jacob voiced his disbelief over how lackadaisical they were about getting on the road. They were stopping to see broads? Even if these were three of his favorite women, Seth had enough of a headstart in his truck.

But it was nearly time for the girls to get off work and the monkeys seemed to think it was a good idea to say good-bye. Eddie wasn't going to Hot Springs unless he could see Isbe.

They were in the car waiting for them in front of their building. A sea of women exited the doors. "My damn," Jasper whispered as they waited cause the sight of so many skirts was exhilarating. Eddie had his hand on the door. The minute he'd see Isbe he'd be out, that much he knew and that's why he hadn't wanted orangutan along.

He saw Rose's blond hair first, then she was there, his girl. He was outside quick, and she saw him, and she ran to him and threw herself against him.

He squeezed her so tight, buried his face in her hair like they'd been apart three hundred years.

He loved her, God he was going to explode. "I'm leaving…few days."

She looked up at him, took his breath, the beauty, eyes shiny and dark, skin so pure. "How many…days?"

He kept looking at her. Oh God it was hitting him hard…the truth.

"We can't be apart," she whispered, reading his gray matter. "I can't eat…cant' think…."

"Oh yeah? Why's dat?" He ran his finger along her bottom lip.

"You don't call…you're up to something…I get this feeling…."

"I ain't goin' nowhere."

"But you just said…."

"I mean I ain't goin' nowhere permanent. I have to take this little trip…but I'll be back…see?"

"No. No." She picked at his shirt a little. When she looked up he got slammed with want all over again.

"You worry too much."

"You've been fighting."

"Not with Jacob."

"Eddie. You promised."

"Just about Jacob," he said.

"Why are you so careless with yourself? I can't bear it!" She hugged him tightly. "Don't go."

"It's not long, couple of days, three…four."

"No, not four."

"Three probably."

"Not three."

He laughed some and squeezed her.

"Hey," Rose called and they looked up. Rose was speaking from the Buick's window. "We're going to Hot Springs!"

Had they all gone crazy? A car full of circus clowns? But he had his arms around Isbe, and he didn't want to let her go.

"What's she talking about?" Isbe asked him.

"I…," he swallowed, "…don't know."

"Is that where you're going?"

"I…."

"Isn't that a place for gangsters?"

"We…."

"Gambling and crime? I've heard prostitutes ride the streets in convertibles…advertising their…wares!"

She hit him on the arm. "Eddie…you don't want me to go, do you? You're embarrassed. More wild times…right? You have so many secrets."

Rose was calling again, going on about Hot Springs.

"What about work?" Isbe said to Eddie like he was the one pushing for this. "One of us might get off, but not all three of us. We can't do this. Can we? We can't. You don't want it…want me. You don't have to."

"Want you? I always…."

"But you never asked. Rose asked…kind of. Emmie invited Rose. Oh…it got ahead of you."

"Isbe, we're going for Jacob's truck. Some moog took it headed for Hot Springs. It may be a bust, we may find it before we get there. If we make it to Hot Springs we don't plan to stay. It's not that I don't want you to go. But no one told me they were asking you girls. I haven't had time to think about it." He hoped that was enough.

The monkeys and their girls were shouting things, but they ignored them.

"I don't want to go anyway. I've got work to do. What about your job?" she said, and it hurt him to see her disappointment. She thought he didn't want her along. He just hadn't thought about it.

"Yeah…I've got to move. Lou…he died."

"No! His poor wife!"

"Oh yeah, Sal says she's okay."

Isbe looked puzzled.

"Not…happy about it. But she's…they got dough." Not as much as they were going to have, but Eddie figured he hadn't stolen a dime from Tanya…just Sal. And he was happy to do that.

"Money isn't everything, Eddie. You know that, right? Money can't replace a person…a husband!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Alice was out of the car and running to them. "Isbe, come on. We're going to ask Dolly about time off."

"I don't need time off."

"You don't want to go to Hot Springs? They've got a bowling alley underneath the street!"

"You can come if you want," Eddie said.

"What?" Isbe said, tears in her eyes. "I said no! I'm not barging in on your little…outing with the…monkeys!" She pulled away and started to walk down the street. Then over her shoulder she yelled, "Come if I want? Not in a million years buster."

"Isbe, aw, come back here," he said.

Then Rose was there going after Isbe. They started to fight.

"Isbe," Eddie said catching up, "I want you to go. You know I do. I just didn't know. I want you to go."

"No thanks," she said, and Rose growled.

"You're going!" Rose said. She tried to pull Isbe toward the building they worked in, but Isbe pulled away.

"I said no," she said. "I'm going home."

"Go on," Eddie said to Rose. "I'll meet you at her house."

He put his hands in his pockets then and followed Isbe, those round, sexy little hips. She was so cute when she was angry.

They were walking in silence, almost to a bus stop, the one she probably took home. When they reached it they stood there, Eddie beside her, but not too close, and a gang of girls there besides, talking amongst themselves and giggling behind their hands.

Eddie stood there, ignoring those girls and staring mostly at the ground. He'd like to pound a fucker named Em right about now for springing this on him and getting him in all this fucking trouble. Seeing as he couldn't do that, he played nice as he could while he waited for Isbe to loosen the nut cracker.

The bus came and they piled in, and he had to fish for the fifteen cents and a couple of girls showed their transfers and he got separated from her, and she took a seat in the back and he got next to it and had to stand, but that suited him more than fine.

They rode a ways and he got jostled some, and he stepped closer to Isbe who kept her face turned toward the old lady beside her and the window they shared. He reached out and touched a piece of hair that laid against her cheek. The he touched her cheek. She didn't look at him, but she didn't pull away or swat at his hand.

So he did that, tracing under her ear and slowly down her neck. What he felt for this girl, it could buckle his knees if he didn't remember to hold himself.

He longed for her. And it was mutual, he knew this. That's what this was about. She thought he didn't want her. That made him smile. She had no idea.

Finally she looked forward, then down to her lap, and he kept touching her, he had to feel some tie, some physical tie, he'd waited so long. She looked up at him then, and they stared at one another. Little beauty, he thought. Little Beauty.

Finally she smiled a little. When she did, his hand cupped her chin and he leaned down, there on the bus, people all around, and he kissed her. Just a sweet kiss.

The old lady beside her looked like he'd taken out his pecker, but he didn't care about any of them. Her shoulder pressed his leg then and the bus ground forward, and she took his hand and they moved toward her house, but it was more they were moving toward and they both knew it.


	31. Chapter 31

Hard Hearted 31

"Fifteen minutes!" Alice squealed to Jasper. "It's not possible!"

Rose was next door already packing. Em and Jacob were yelling out that they were going to take care of the pool.

Eddie had taken the liberty of following Isbe upstairs to her room. Isbe hadn't warmed toward Eddie on the short walk from the bus stop to her house. He'd gotten hopeful there on the bus, but the ice cubes were back soon as they got off.

"Hey," he'd said, following her but letting her stay a few paces ahead. "You gonna come with me?"

"Why should I?" she said not breaking her stride.

"Cause…I won't go without you."

That got her. She stopped and turned around. "Why not?"

He shrugged some, hands in his pockets. He walked backwards as he passed her and kept moving. "Cause we can't be apart," he quoted.

"Huh," she said, most disrespectfully. "You don't have a problem being away from me."

He slowed down and faced forward, walking beside her now. She was such a spunky little thing. "Not true."

She blew through her lips like he was a fantastic liar.

"Forget it then. I won't go."

"Don't do me any favors," she said.

"Oh yeah?" he said. He was getting mad.

She glanced at him and looked away. She sped up a little, and he kept right up, and it had been that way all the way up to her room.

Now he stood in her doorway and she was in her room bustling around and he felt like a creeper watching her. "Okay if I'm up here?"

She shrugged, undoing her belt as she positioned her closet door as a shield. She was going to change her clothes.

"I'll be downstairs," he said, but he didn't move. She peaked around the door. He smiled.

"Liar," she said.

He looked around like he couldn't believe it. "You talking to me?"

She didn't answer, but she was behind the door moving around. She was doing it, undressing while he stood here like a fool.

"I'm coming back there," he threatened.

She still didn't answer. She wouldn't break.

The hell with it. He went down the hall to go downstairs.

"Eddie."

He was nearly to the stairs and she was in her doorway finishing the buttons on her blouse. She had on some shorts. Cute as a bug in a rug, no that was Little Bird, but this girl here, Isbe, she was a forest fire.

"What?" he said miffed about how she could twist him around.

She turned and went back in her room, and he stood there a second, then followed her.

She was on her bed, sitting there, her arms folded. She'd pulled the tie out of her hair and it was streaming over her shoulders.

He went to her bed and sat beside her. "What do you want me to do?" he said. Damn he was going the extra mile with her and she didn't even appreciate it.

So naturally she made him wait for an answer. She had her head down again. After a few long seconds she sighed and looked at him.

"I don't want to force you to do something…."

"Isbe, I can't be forced to do anything. Don't you know that about me?"

While they stared at each other Alice called up the stairs, "Em says five minutes, Isbe. Dolly is giving us three whole days, well counting Sunday, so you better be down here with a packed bag!"

"Hurry up," Eddie told her.

"I…."

"I want you," he said. "You know I do."

She swallowed and he saw the tears gathering. "I'm not normal," she whispered. "You can't," more swallowing, "confuse me. I mean…I get easily confused. You confuse me."

"Baby," he said, and if he went for her they'd never get her packed. "Throw some stuff in a bag. Please."

"I want to go, of course I do…," she began getting on her feet and right away he moved her between his knees. He had his hands on her bottom and he leaned and kissed the mound over her privates.

She gasped some and backed away, tripped a little. "Eddie," she whispered. "You've got no limits. How can I go with you three days and hold a line…."

"I ever force you?"

"No, but…."

"Then stop making out like I'm some kind of pervert."

"I didn't…I'm not, it's just…this is what married people do…travel together…."

"Alice and Rose don't have a problem…."

"I'm not Alice and Rose. Don't you compare me…."

"I'm not," he said waving the white flag. "Shit, Isbe. You can have your own room," he said. "I'm not trying to get you alone so I can…. You said we couldn't be apart. You said that. You're making me crazy, back and forth…if you want to go with some other guy…." It made him mad to say it. He didn't mean any of this, but he'd tried being patient, begging. She wouldn't be happy until he was reduced to being a complete pussy sissy. So he tried this now…threats. They always worked.

"You don't want me, just let me know…," he continued.

"Stop it," she said all tragic.

"Me? I'm the voice of reason here. You give all these mixed signals, yes, no, maybe. Hell with dat. I'll be downstairs. You let me know."

"Stop it," she said again, then, "Eddie!"

He ignored her and kept going. Shit, this better work.

Outside Em was in front with Jasper packing the girl's shit in the trunk. Eddie looked in and their paper bags were smashed in the corner while the girls' nice paste board suitcases were getting figured in.

"What the fuck you doin'?" he said in Gorilla's ear.

There was Em's big ass grin while he straightened things out. Jasper was already laughing but he wouldn't look Eddie in the eye either. Em did. "What?" he said.

"Fucker...," he slapped Em on the back of the head.

Em held up a finger. "Watch that fucker."

"This?" Eddie did it again.

Rose came out then, looking like a blonde Gloria Swanson, scarf over her hair and big sunglasses, a dress tied back of her neck. The tits alone stopped Em cold. "Oh shit," he said under his breath.

That broad had another round bag on her arm. Where the hell were they supposed to put all this shit?

Little Bird was behind her, also glamorous. They were pretty beautiful, these two, but the next girl out, the one laughing up a storm with Jacob Black, if she didn't piss him off so royally he'd have to say, even still, this girl was so over the top outstanding, Helen of Troy couldn't compete even with her thousand ships.

Eddie went to her and took the one sensible bag off her arm. "Glad you could make it," he said pretty much butting right in front of Black who had the good sense to stand down.

"Me too," she said low, and touched his arm. And just that quick the earth settled on its axis.

11111111111111111111111111

Black sat in front with Em and Rose and the other four piled in the back. Jasper and Alice were smooching up a storm before they were off Isbe's block.

Baboon had no self-control whatsoever.

Black kept engaging Isbe. Eddie couldn't follow a word, just those jaws moving and that wide lipped grin with so many teeth…that fucker have an extra set in there? He should give some to his old man.

Finally Eddie did this little twirly motion with his finger over Isbe's head so she wouldn't see and defend this little sucker like he was some poor refugee. Black got the message and he turned around, kept his face toward the window, letting the wind whip off some of the scowl probably.

She looked up at Eddie then, and smiled, with these sad eyes. He had his arm around her, but up on the seat. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said.

Then he felt more eyes on him and he saw Gorilla in the mirror looking at him, big grin. "Hi," Gorilla said.

Eddie gave him the finger where Isbe couldn't see again.

Gorilla laughed and Rose was cooing at him like he was Johnny Weissmuller in a loin cloth and she was Jane. Things had definitely heated up between those two, just like he thought. Poor Black up there with all that monkey heat. Ha-ha.

He smiled again at Isbe cause she was looking at him.

"Sorry about….," she began.

Oh here we go, he thought.

"…I just didn't know…what to do."

"Water under the bridge," he said hoping she'd let it go.

"I just…I care so much about you…I almost don't trust myself. I mean…I wouldn't want to…I have to get things settled…you know?"

Get what settled? That he wouldn't be pollinating the flower anytime soon? She'd said it and said it, mother of God. It wasn't her girl time yet, was it?

"Were you really gonna stay home if I didn't go?" she asked softly.

"I said so…," he let it drop. He tightened his arm around her a little. She scooted a little closer and he felt her breast against his side and those legs could come closer too. Now that was his language.

He heard Alice call Jasper, Jasie, and he tried not to laugh. Baboon was such a sappy fucker. It was funny to see this look on him, like he was listening to Churchill read the terms to a treaty for world peace or some shit. It was embarrassing.

Rose got the radio going and music provided some small curtain over the sounds of lovers in love.

Eddie still had that arm around Isbe, but he played with her hair with the other hand. Then he was stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers.

Isbe wanted to know more about this guy taking Jacob's truck and how they got involved in this. Was he friends with Jacob now?

He rambled along the corridors of those questions, giving her brief answers. He didn't want to talk about that shit.

Then she asked about the fight. She could see they'd all been fighting again.

"It's like…a contest. Not a fight like you think."

"You mean at a gym?"

"A competition," he said. "I did that a couple of times in the army. Like a match." Talk about swabbing the decks to make nice. He'd fought a few times in the army and out. Oh hell yes.

"I wasn't aware. There's so much I don't know. When did you practice?"

"Practice?" He fingered his own smile. "My whole life." He looked out his window now, grinning, but fuck.

She asked about his dad. What did he do?

He was a preacher.

"You're kidding?" She couldn't believe it.

Eddie shrugged. He wasn't that bad, was he? But he laughed at her expression. "Gonna catch a fly," he said close to her face.

She closed her mouth. "You're protestant?"

"I'm nothin'. A human being," he said.

"What's he like…your dad?"

"Moses…without the beard and the dress. Moses holding the commandments on the stone tablets, whacking everyone in the head."

"That's…that's terrible. Why do you say this?"

"You asked."

They were quiet then. "He was mean to you," she said.

"You ever get whacked with a stone tablet?"

"I'm serious."

"Me too."

She sighed in frustration.

"Look, Isbe, it don't matter anymore. He was a mean old fucker. Now he's sick and alone and he's too broken up to hit. So fuck him. I ain't seen him since I been home. Maybe he's dead. I don't know and truthfully I don't care."

"Oh Eddie."

"Oh Eddie what? You of all people should understand that…." And they were there. Charlie Swan.

"I should understand what? My father has his faults, but I wasn't beaten," she said.

"Well that's like judging from the bottom up, you know?" And he went on, speaking as if he was her, "Hey, I may have been raised by a backstabbing asshole who deserted me, but he didn't beat me, so thank-you, God, Amen. You know?"

Uht-oh. She unwrapped his arm from around her shoulders lickety-split.

"Stop the car, stop it. Stop the car!" Isbe yelled.

"Nah, nah, don't stop," he yelled over her. "You gonna do it again, go through the whole dramatic run-off cause what…I said that about your old man?" He was madder over Charlie than he'd realized. Yeah, he hated the fucker.

Rose killed the music.

"I don't like what you said or how you said it. I don't have to stay here," Isbe said.

"What do I do? Eddie?" Em said in the mirror again, not kidding around this time.

"Drive," Eddie said.

"Stop," Isbe said the same time. "Jacob, make him stop."

Jacob looked like she'd poked her fingers in his eyes, but he rose to the damn occasion. "Stop," he said to Em. Then to Eddie, "What'd you do?"

"I met your father again, Isbe. Not just at Lou's store…but at the fight. The fight I was in." The monkeys were squirming then cause they were all in this.

"He arrested us. All of us. Even Jacob the loveable bear cub. He threw our asses in jail. We just got out. This morning in fact."

"My dad? He was the arresting officer? You were breaking the law? The fight…you said it was a match."

"It was. Not on the up. Not…legal."

"Okay," she said.

"Your father, his own kind of Moses. Do what I say…but not what I do."

"My father. I was supposed to go to church with him this Sunday. I didn't even leave a note!"

Eddie had leaned forward, and now he sat back with a sigh. "He'll get over it." And fuck Charlie Swan. Oh fuck that fucker.

"He won't know where I am."

"Good," Eddie said and he meant it.

"All of you arrested? You too Jacob?"

Jacob looked back at her. "Yeah."

"Did you fight too?" Then a quick look at Eddie like he was corrupting the baby.

"He's a big boy," Eddie said. "And no, he didn't fight." But cub was already defending himself. Heaven forbid he should share Eddie's little section of sinner's hell.

They got through that conversation without calling Swan a crook, but it took a while as each of the girls had questions and opinions, oh God the opinions. That was the trouble with dating girls who liked to read and think and shit. They had so much to say about everything.

He had a theory. There were three kinds of men. One was a guy with a body and a dick. That was a whole man. Two was a dick with no body. That was Isbe's father. His own as well. Just dicks with no humanity. Third was a body with no dick. That was what she was trying to turn him into right now.

He'd seen that happen to married guys or guys with some girlfriend who wasn't ever gonna be happy. So when a guy gave up his dick, it was never gonna work cause later, she'd want the dick, and guess what, he already gave it to her, everytime he said, "Yes dear, I'm a no good piss drinker." Everytime, pretty soon, no pecker left. Not a damn inch. Then guess what, she hated his guts cause he couldn't put it to her.

Now go figure dat.

He loved this girl like sunshine. But she wasn't getting his dick without his body. She wasn't getting his body without his dick. She had a hell of a lot to learn about him.

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	32. Chapter 32

Hard Hearted 32

A lack of sleep took its toll. Yes there were four drivers, but they'd had the fight, exhausting in itself, then spent the night in jail. None of the four of them had slept but Baboon.

They were used to it, pushing through, but not with a warm girl on the side. Eddie knew he'd become one lazy bastard. She ever gave in they were going to make love straight for a year.

So Jacob, bird-dogging on his truck anyway, ended up driving deep into the night, all the way to Hot Springs. He only awoke Eddie when he wasn't sure about the way. They may have passed Seth in the darkness, there was no way of knowing. But they hoped to be ready and waiting when he reached town.

Eddie shifted, sitting up straight. Even still it was comforting knowing she was near. He was hurting, but that would pass. The loneliness he felt when she wasn't around wouldn't.

It was the oddest thing. Before he met her he was fine. Pretty much fucked, but fine. Now he met her he was lonely when she wasn't there.

He saw her open her eyes. For a split second she was asking herself where the hell she was and that made him grin. She was quick to smile in return. Whatever that thing she'd felt between them had been, it was gone now, in the soft light of morning, in this different world, Arkansas. He poked Isbe she should look at Baboon and Alice. Baboon was sprawled out, head in the corner, but Alice had slept on top of him, on his lap. "That fucker ain't gonna be able to move," Eddie laughed.

"I learned something," Isbe whispered to Eddie.

"What's dat?" he said, miserable in the corner, the door handle having been in his back for hours and him just now realizing.

"It's better if I stay."

He didn't know what in the hell she was talking about.

"If I don't run away and stay. I don't even have to talk, just staying near you…I get over it."

"Well good," he said, smiling at her. Cramped as he'd been, holding her had provided much consolation. "Get over what?"

"It's like…I'm mad…and I don't know why. I just love you like crazy and it gets me mad. I think I'm scared. I don't know," she said.

"Nothin' to be scared of. You got me," he said, his arms tightening in case she was in doubt. "I make you mad?"

She lifted her head and looked at him. "You make me happy. So damn happy."

He kissed her then, a long, soft kiss. Glad to know his girl was alive and kicking in there. Another place, waking up to her in a real bed, he could give it a go then, take her slow, love her up and down, in and out. But here…Black's eyes flicking to that mirror. Alice's feet practically in Isbe's lap. Gorilla snoring as his head bobbed against the window, Blondie's head on his shoulder…he didn't think so.

An hour later they pulled up to this big hotel, the Park Hotel, the tall brass doors just catching the morning sun. Real swanky looking place. Hot Springs, hot damn. And they were loaded. They didn't see Jacob's truck anywhere around here, but Eddie had told Orangutan to pull in here and he and Jasper went in the lobby and paid for three rooms. Him and Baboon in one, Em and Orangutan in the other. He got the girls a nice suite for themselves.

Back outside a bellhop, even at this insane hour, was loading their bags onto a cart. Eddie took his bag. The money was in the bottom. Each guy carried his own shit. Jacob didn't have so much as a toothbrush.

The girls were quiet all the way to the third floor. They each went to their rooms, but soon as they did Baboon and Eddie were back in the hall going to the girls' room. Their door was still open as the guy emptied their cart and Eddie tipped him. Baboon grabbed Alice and took her into the single bed in its own cubbyhole. She squealed a little and they settled down right there like they were going to stay tangled for a million years.

"He's not staying in here!" sleepy, and bitchy Rose declared falling to the bed and kicking off her highheels.

"Quiet," Alice yelled not opening her eyes, not moving a toe, twined up with Baboon and looking ready to hibernate. Little Bird was getting bitchy herself, and the big bitch flopped back on the bed, arms spread, moaned over how soft the mattress was, and didn't fight back.

Eddie grabbed Isbe's hand. She reached for her bag as she passed the pile and she followed him as he swiftly pulled her down the hall.

He pulled her into the room he shared with Jasper, and closed the door. He took her case and threw it on a chair and toed off his shoes and she did the same. He tore off his shirt and undid his belt, pulled it out of his pants. She stood there while he peeled off his socks and tossed them, then he tore into that bed, ripped back the covers, oh fuck him, some sleep.

"Get in here," he told her, but she ran into the bathroom and he waited for her to get in, but he already had his eyes closed. When he felt the bed move lightly he'd already been out. He got up quick then, saw she'd changed her clothes. He used the john, then came out and she was on her side in her nightgown, her back toward him, that behind of hers like come and get me, but yeah not quite.

He took off his pants and even laid them over a chair. He went to the door, flipped the do not disturb outside, closed it, locked Baboon out, and got back in bed beside her quick as he could.

Oh God he pulled her into his arms, thank God at last, he took his hand and smoothed her belly and she complied and moved her soft full ass against him. He spooned her like that, his eyes about rolling back into his head with satisfaction. He was tired as a chimp could get, but not so tired he wasn't hard as a rock against her and not pulling away but letting his pecker nestle between her soft ass cheeks like an all American hot dog on a bun. Oh damn.

His hand moved up to her breasts, and there they were, just waiting in a nice soft stack, and he moved his hand over them with just enough pressure she would know how much he wanted her. Oh my God how he wanted her. He felt the pebbles, those nipples under this nightgown and he breathed out and she breathed in. "You afraid of this?" he said in her ear.

"No," she said softly.

"Afraid of me?"

"No," she said.

"Don't ever be," he said raggedly but he had to admit, he could say about anything right now.

"I knew I couldn't resist you," she said.

"You mad?"

"Not anymore."

He moved his hand to the center then, between her smooth white thighs. He cupped her there and he felt it, a sense of claiming her. This was it. This was home.

"Oh Isbe," he said in her ear.

"Eddie," she sighed.

Such relief. For them both.

"You want to save yourself for your husband?"

"Yeah, Eddie. I…do."

"You have."

She turned in his arms and his hand moved over her rump. He was stroking her there.

"Eddie…."

"Yeah, I mean it. I ain't askin'…not yet…but…prepare yourself."

The easy thing would be to kiss her, right now, before she had a chance to think. But he didn't. He told her to roll over and he moved them back the way they'd been and he put his hand on her mound once again, his long fingers resting possessively against the ribbon of her wet heat. He sighed then, happy as a clam, big smile on his lips.

He went to sleep holding her there.


	33. Chapter 33

Hard Hearted 33

It was a broken sleep. Frequently they would wake up touching and kissing. He'd been so alone. To share a bed with her…he wanted this, sacred and undefiled. This bed they'd make…and love…and home…and babies…and life…and death…him in her arms…her in his…he was ready to sign, meet the terms. He was ready to march.

She stood up and undressed for him, down to her underwear, keeping the holy grail covered. They hadn't pulled the drapes and there was enough of a moon, he could see her exquisitely like that washed in the blue light of a southern night, the way she was meant to be seen, like a dream, like the thing he'd been missing, all his life, this other side of himself axed off in some pre-human existence when they were both ideas or fireflies riding one another's wings, floating around in some outer space silence, wisps of themselves waiting to be born, waiting to be found…in the flesh… by the other.

He looked at her, the sound of his breathing denoting his eager discovery. Life had surprised him, so many times, but nothing, nothing compared to the pleasure, the purity of Isbe Swan like this.

He waited until she was ready to climb back in beside him, one of her knees came first to the mattress, and he touched that pale roundness and he moved enough he could slowly run his hand up the softest path to her sex, and he ran his hand back down and moved and took her fingers and she laid on her back beside him. Her breasts. My God how perfect, how sexy and the round weight in his hand…he could get used to this…or maybe not, maybe never get used to it cause damn, some things needed to retain the element of surprise and these two beauties could.

She had curve and flair and skin like cream and butter… and dark pink raspberries and secrets in dark wet curls hidden behind the chaste white cotton. He knew all this, but here they were in this fancy room, fancier than either of them had back home, especially him. Well he had no home, here and there, this and that, but he found himself…with her. And he knew what to do, who to protect, worship and serve. He was a soldier again, with a new cause, something more intimate than a country. His woman. His wife. He wanted to be tied, bound in everyway. Oh God, she was his land of Canaan.

He'd moved his hand on her enough she came against him all gasps and shudders. He knew what she needed. Him. She wanted him. Her trust, he grew huge inside. His dick was swelling, but not like his pride. His pride was a country in itself.

"You know how much I love you?" he said, and he wasn't shy or ashamed.

"I…." She didn't know. She swallowed then, her own need, the brash hopelessness she'd felt when he made her wait for it. The denial she had tolerated. He'd made her crazy. Love did. And he did. Her eyes, she had no guard against him, he saw that. He was so far in, all the way inside, in her heart, he saw that. When he took her body, it would be the seal on the deal they'd already made…back in space, back in time. He was already in there.

"That night we spent…in your room…your bed. On the way home I knew. But I knew before. That night I saw you…that first night."

"Love at first sight…Eddie?" she whispered. This was all in whispers, lover's talk, the words sliding in, wet with their desire, everything a penetration…the knowing…the speaking…the breathing…everything a penetration.

"Yeah." Enough talking. But some things had to be said. I love you had to be said. He understood that.

She pulled him to her and she kissed him with love and relief. He wanted her to know it would be alright. He wouldn't hold back anymore, starting with his chest against her breast, his arm around her. He had weight and strength, solid muscle, and he wanted her to feel it. He was real and he took up space and he was here and he was hers. He was surrendering.

"We're getting married tomorrow," he told her. He'd told her to be ready.

He was giving it to her, the hard pump of his heart. She didn't speak, the answering flutter of her own, her breathing shallow, her mouth open. She was receiving, she was taking…and he was waiting.


	34. Chapter 34

Hard Hearted 34

That morning, he was aware of the light, soft and sharp at the same time. A light he'd seen before…at a school picnic. He was young, he'd been beaten right before—his father, just that morning.

He walked in a line, two by two, pants to his knees, last day of school and the teacher led them in a parade through the grounds so they could see the picnic as it was set up, as it came to life. Hole in his shoe, gravel burning through, he didn't care. He was watching. He was listening.

The most glorious sight, orange drink, so deeply hued, from the rainbow, or the liquid off the pot of gold, being poured into a wash-tub, and the light warming that deep color, setting it off more orange…pure orange. And the woman who poured, the mother, when he'd dragged his black eyes upward and saw her, the light behind her head. He could just make out her smile.

He could never figure it, the joy that gave him, the memory even now. And the joy over that bubble and splash, the excitement of that world of games and laughter…and families that would come….

Not him…not his…that's what the beating was for…for asking….

But he felt her then…his mother, and he knew that the glimpse of that orange splash, he knew it was enough…promise and hope. His mother had died…but not love. He only had to find it. Find love.

It was weird, fucked, didn't make sense, but he thought on that drink so many times, that drink he would never taste…only want…and he wasn't sorry for himself…no…it had made him hope.

And that time in Belgium, sun coming up over that field, the hay shattered…and scattered…but other places…where the bombs hadn't hit…parted into golden windrows, like a mother parts her child's hair…and he walked there, the clean and cared for amongst the angry dark holes…and it didn't surprise him…cause he knew about the mix…already knew that life gave you both…terrors and smiles.

And the light as he beheld Isbe lying on his arm, her mouth open just a little, and her lips so red and sweet, and her lashes full on her cheeks, and the freckles like a constellation against the pale beauty of her face. And the light in this room… alive on their skin, like grace, there…but not…if you didn't look…want to see something more.

And he wondered then, about his mother…about hers…and if they'd had a say…in the light, the right now light…that felt like blessing. Had they?

He wondered.

And later, Isbe had brought the blue dress, her only dress, folded and creased. He would buy her another…and another…a lifetime, a clothesline of dresses….

But they both knew the blue dress needed to witness their I do's. I am's. I will's. Just like the clover had stayed through the fight…then had fallen to pieces, the clover he'd thrown on the floor in his old room and ground under his boot. He'd had something better in mind, and his next piece of jewelry would last, just like the promise behind it. He didn't believe in luck.

But he did believe in this light, a blue dress…this girl…. He did believe in what they were about to do and the promises they'd make. He believed they would create something new and good. He had a lot to make up for- the sins of the fathers, sins of his own. With Isbe…he would.

"Watch me," he whispered to himself…to Isbe. To the mothers and their orange drink and neat rows of parted hair. To the fathers, the black holes riveting all the calm. Those were his vows…made in the light…before God—and the witnesses. Watch me.

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"We're getting married, get up, get the…heck up," he'd said to Em, but it wasn't Em alone in the double bed now, it was Em and Rose. Jacob wasn't there…gone to look for his truck? And Jasper slept in the girls' room, with Alice…apparently. "Oh," Eddie shouted turning away from Rose's eyes opening in confusion, her hair tousled on the pillow, her shoulders naked above the covers, "excuse me."

He made it to the hall, quick, went one way then another. He hoped he hadn't embarrassed Rose. Wait a minute….

Em was coming out, undershirt, pants being zipped. "What the fuck, Eddie, you don't knock?" Em said.

"I…." He started to laugh. "I'm getting married."

A pause, a stare, a gaping mouth and then the boom, "To who?"

"Who you think, duffer?"

"Isbe?"

Eddie refused to answer that, but the smile lighting his friend's face…Eddie couldn't stay mad.

"This how you're going to do it? Ram it up Charlie's ass?"

"What?" Here he'd been ready to hug this ape.

"Oh shit," Em said laughing. "Oh shit brother. You know, you damn chimpanzee. You know what this will do."

"Don't even…don't say that shit. Isbe hears that…don't you even say it."

"You tell her? About the ear? We threw her old man's ear out the window, brother. You think she might…have a problem? I mean…around Christmas time, old Charlie Swan at the fireplace reading the story…and that damn ear like a raisin there and your little tyke…Daddy what happened to Paw-Paw's ear?"

He went in to hysterics then. That gleeful, evil laugh of Gorilla's that made you want to….

Eddie hit him hard on the arm.

"Oh fucker," Em said grabbing the spot. It hurt and Eddie meant it to.

"Shut you mouth," he said. "Least I'll make her an honest woman…."

Bingo. Gorilla's smile got wiped away like Grandma took Bon Ami to it.

"Honest woman? You'll be pulling her into your crooked damn life you mean." When Em was mean it was like a baby spouting off—no limits. Problem was he had a man's worth of bastard behind it and Rose was in his bed, his 'corruption,' probably swimming around in there about now. "That's right. Don't act surprised. I may not be marrying Rose right out of the gate, but I don't pass myself off as, 'Hero.'" He'd mimicked a lovesick girl on that word. "If I ever get ready Rose will know the deal."

"Isbe knows."

"Knows what? How you stole that money? How we're into shit with Carl? She know her old man is behind enemy lines and you might have to cut off his other ear if he don't back the fuck off?"

"What's this?" Baboon asked coming down the hall from the girl's room. "You know I can hear you fuckers?"

Eddie barely spared him a glance. He was riveted on Gorilla. He hated him now.

"Ed?" Jasper said.

Edidie pulled his stare from Em and looked. Jasper had obviously slept in his clothes. He looked like hell but Eddie was used to seeing him that way.

"I'm marrying Isbe. Today."

"What's the rush?" Jasper said.

"What is this?" Eddie threw up his hands. Where were the congratulations?

"Calm down, Eddie," Jasper said, and it took something before he would say this.

"I'm calm. I thought I had friends…."

"You have friends," Jasper said, while Em said, "What'd you expect? You got eight thousand out there yet. That okay with you while you're…jumping the damn gun? I mean broom?"

Eddie glared at him. Too many words piled up to get said, shouted.

Em took a big breath and smoothed his hair. "Eddie…you move too fast. You know that about yourself. I'll give you, your instincts…they're good. They're…real good. I've been known to follow them myself." He laughed a little, but it was not from glee. "But this…that girl worships the ground my friend. Worships it. And she's a great girl…the best. But she's like…innocent. And Charlie Swan…he knows it. She's his pidgeon…the one thing he got right. He knows it. She's like a decoy on the water. Anything…Rose says anything comes around he don't like…," Em made a gun with his hand and fired.

"Brother, where you gonna get eight thousand? You got no rich daddy, case you forgot. You get side-tracked now…." Em finished.

"Where's Jacob?" Eddie said, a deep smashed feeling inside.

"He's," Baboon said, "where is he Em? He was supposed to be with you."

"I sent him to the car when Rose…. He's sleeping in the car."

"He ain't sleeping," Eddie said.

"He's already looking for that truck," Jasper finished.

"Why you think I brought him?" Eddie said. There was no other reason. He was the hunting dog.

"What if he does something stupid?"

"He's no killer," Eddie said.

"What about Seth? He was in the war."

"Supply or some shit. He's got a chip and a gun. You know any guy any different? He's got no beef with Jacob…other way. Seth double-crossed the Blacks."

"Got an answer for everything, don't you Eddie? Always got an answer," Em said with a surprising amount of disgust. "That little girl gets some of the shine out of her eyes, I can't wait to see how you work your way out of it. Only it'll be too late. For her. She's got no idea…."

"You finished?" Eddie said. He turned to Jasper then. "Will you stand for me?"

Em fell back, let his ass hit the wall and he let his air whoosh. It seemed another wave of attack was coming. "We just got home. You gonna tell me you can go from the shit we been doin' to being somebody's husband?"

"I ain't asking your permission," Eddie said. "Maybe you're confused. You feel that way…fuck you."

"Oh fuck me? Fuck me? That's what you say? You got people lining up to take a ride on your crazy train…bail your ass out when it goes to hell?"

"You don't bail me out," Eddie said.

"That's me," Jasper said softly, but they ignored him.

"Where's your shit right now? Who's right beside you holding your hand like always?" Em said.

"Holding my fucking hand? Fuck you. Fuck this." Eddie went toward his room but he didn't want to bring this to Isbe, this anger.

"Eddie," Jasper said. When Eddie turned, Em had gone back into his room. "Let's see if Jacob found Seth."

"Nah. You hear me? I'm getting married."

"On a Sunday? The courthouse won't be open."

Shit. He hadn't thought of that. "You can't tell me you can't get married in this town for the right price," Eddie said. He wasn't letting anything or anyone stop him. Fuck Emmett McCarty.

Eddie went downstairs. He didn't wait for Baboon. He asked the man at the desk about it, where someone could buy a ring, where someone could get married on a Sunday.

Like he thought, all things were possible for those who could pay. The jeweler opened right up for them, Sunday clothes still on. Isbe looked beautiful and the girls fixed up swell. Jasper and him were pieced together in jackets borrowed from the hotel.

The jeweler unlocked the cabinet and laid a flat of silver diamond rings on the counter. "What do you like?" he said.

Isbe leaned over the jewelry, her brow creased. "I can't see how much they cost," she said.

"That don't matter," Eddie said. "Pick what you like."

Rose and Alice couldn't stand it any longer. They flanked Isbe and Eddie stepped back a little. What his mates lacked in enthusiasm these two made up for. Even Blondie. She wasn't doing hand-stands, but earlier she'd managed to give him a quick hug, and a red kiss. She'd whispered to Eddie, "Give him a minute. You scared him is all. He thought you were already married to him."

That surprised the hell out of Eddie. Is this what it was? Gorilla thought they were breaking up?

He actually came close to smiling at Rose as she quickly patted his shoulder and said, "You treat her wrong I'll kill you in your sleep. You'll never see it coming. But I will."

She'd patted his arm and went off to press Isbe's dress for her in the hotel's laundry.

He was with a bunch of crazy people. But he kind of loved Rose for caring so deeply for Isbe.

Baboon hadn't said much, his usual good nature kicking in. He'd sarcastically thanked Eddie for planting their flag in the no man's land called marriage.

"Do what you want," Eddie said. "I am."

"I thought I'd get some stuff figured out first. Like a job," Baboon had said while Eddie straightened his tie.

Eddie shrugged. He felt bad about Jasper getting fired for the fight. But Baboon could swing from the trees pretty well. He'd land on his feet. They'd figure it out. Well not Em. They might be done, but he knew they weren't.

By the time they walked to the back door of the courthouse, also being opened special, Em had caught up to them. Isbe nudged Eddie and he stopped and looked at the ape, spiffed up, shoes shined, and he got it then, the hand, the shake, then the big crushing hug.

Then Gorilla had Isbe off her feet, and she held onto her little hat, and had the other hand on his shoulder, and she giggled a little.

"Put her down," he couldn't help saying, and Em did. He'd brought her some white flowers. She took these and sniffed them a little. They'd made her so happy. Eddie felt like a sap to forget she'd want flowers.

"You'll be a good husband," Em said simple a couple of tears in his big Gorilla eyes.

Eddie nodded. He clapped Em on the shoulder. They stared at each other for a minute. There was nothing more to say. He wasn't mad anymore. He could see Em wasn't either. No sense going over it with tweezers.

They resumed their walk. He took Isbe's hand, and checked for the fifth time that the pale outline of ring was in his jacket's pocket. He was getting married.

Without his anger at Emmie, he felt the first wave of fear. All he had left were the words Em had spoken—how this was revenge on Charlie, how he moved too fast, needed a hand held, had nothing to offer. How sweet Isbe was….

What if…what if she did feel upset over the ear…blamed him somehow? She didn't need to know about it. That's it. They would never, ever tell her. Far as she knew, they knew nothing about Charlie's unfortunate disfiguring.

He just wished he hadn't told Charlie. Yeah, that was bad. But maybe he'd be so pissed he wouldn't come around. They'd have to live somewhere else, of course. Maybe she'd never see him again. That would be great.

He tried to feel better, but what did he really know about being a husband? Nothing. Even Baboon seemed to think there was an order. What did he have to offer? Some cash. Some determination.

He looked at her, carrying on with her friends, holding his hand so firmly, with trust.

They were going up the steps to the courthouse when it happened, the light headed sick feeling, and him thinking it would pass, then it didn't, and he heard their voices swell…and then he didn't hear a thing.

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The next thing he knew he was looking up at everybody. What happened?

"You fainted," Em shouted like he'd gone deaf.

"Help me up," he croaked.

Em and Jasper pulled him onto his feet, and Em steadied him because he weaved a little.

"You eat lately?" Em said but he ignored it. He'd never fainted in his life.

Isbe looked all concerned. "Did you hit your head, Eddie?"

He didn't think so. "I'm alright," he told her.

They made him sit on a short wall that ran around the building. It felt good to sit and get his bearings.

"We don't have to do this," Isbe said.

"I have to," he said back, and not as friendly as he meant.

"Eddie," she whispered. "We can wait."

"Not me." He pulled her close. "Hey…you backing out on me?"

She smiled. "Never."

"You sure?"

She kissed him on the cheek and spoke near his ear. "Don't ever doubt me."

When she pulled back they looked at one another. This was what he needed. "Let's get married," he said.

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The judge came in, looked over the papers his daughter had given them to sign.

The girls stood with Isbe, the monkeys stood with him. Jasper gave Em his spot as best man.

Promises were made. Signed and sealed.

He kissed her and the old relief was back, more powerful than ever. This was right and he felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The smile on her face, the look in her eyes, he didn't ever want to forget this shine. Em's words were in his mind like a nagging song, that when the shine wore away, it would be too late…for her. But he was wrong. He'd spend the rest of his life giving her everything he was, just like he'd promised that morning. That's what no one knew. No one could know. But she would. It was settled.

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That night they ate, they drank, a little. They laughed and the music played in this little private club that defied the Sabbath, and he moved with her, and music wrapped them in its promises.

Hope…was reality, juicy as steak, mouthwatering. Dreams…were touchable, smooth and soft. Relief…you could lick, taste, like honey on your tongue. Words…renewed. Laughter…healed. Joy was what you breathed. Luck was what you'd made.

Was it the same world? The same moon over the trees and the lights strung there against the dark, was it the same earth soft under his socks, her bare feet, as they danced out back, alone, with the music drifting out the kitchen's door propped open by the cooks. And they laughed a little, and he held her…while his wounds skinned over pale and new.

"I love you," she said languidly. "I can't stop saying it." She laughed.

"I like it," he said, his mouth moving over the light salty taste on her neck.

Tumble, jumble…and what would come…would be so deliciously different it would keep the world…going.

He knew how to be hard, be tough. The lessons came young…and consistently. The patient breaking of his heart.

The steady disintegration of his pride.

Everything taken, one crumb at a time.

And he'd emerged…this bastard with a rock in his chest. But today, he'd fainted. He'd gotten married. He was dancing in his socks.

He was changing.

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He carried her from the lift to their room. The girls had been in here. There were flowers in vases, even on the bed. Fruit in a bowl. A beautiful negligee lying on the bed. "That's Rose's," Isbe whispered as Eddie set her down. He didn't say anything but Rose wasn't using it, he could vouch for that.

"You won't need it," he said sitting on the bed and pulling her between his knees.

His hands were already on the blue dress. He was carefully undoing whatever stood in his way.

"This okay?" he said, busy.

"I hope so," she laughed.

When he couldn't go fast enough, she took over and he helped her step out of the dress. He backed off then and took off his jacket folding it over the chair. She pulled her slip over her head. She stood there in her bra and underwear, a garter belt and nylons. She kicked off her shoes.

"That's far enough," he told her, his voice cracking a little. He quickly got down to his skivvies.

"Turn around," he said, and she did, moving in her sexy way. Yeah, she had those seams in the back and he wanted to see her like this, God he'd wanted it from day one. He dropped on his knees and started to kiss, up one seam, down another. She fell forward a little, hands on the dresser, his on her hips in case she continued to fall.

"You okay?" he asked laughing a little.

She turned to face him. "Never better."

"You're beautiful," he said taking his hands away and standing. "You drive me outta my mind. Get in that bed."

She did as he asked, his eyes on her the whole time. He stood at the side of the bed. "You ever see a man before?"

She shook her head all wide-eyed.

"Well you're about to." He quickly pushed down his skivvies and stepped free. He was already hard and she was looking, her eyes big. He had to laugh some. "Don't look so scared. He don't fire bullets."

He got in beside her.

She was laughing now, and they got settled together. She had her breasts pressed against him, and he undid the back of her bra and she lifted and he slowly pulled it off of her. "Lie on your back," he said, and she did.

"Oh yeah," he told her, his eyes all over her. "You're beautiful." He couldn't stop saying this.

His big rough hand moved over her creamy skin. He licked her breast and moved his tongue over the nipple. Shit, he thought. Shit. He latched on and when he pulled a little she bowed up and made a noise that did nothing but encourage him. He moved to the other breast and licked over her and the joy in him, the nasty joy about made his head explode.

He put his hands on her, all over her. He undid those nylons, peeled them down, rubbed over her legs, he loved those, her little feet even.

She stood up and undid the garter belt, let it drop, then she lowered her underwear and stood, dragging her hand back and forth across her stomach.

He swallowed enough lust to choke an elephant. "Get in here," he said patting the bed.

He rolled her over and licked her all the way to her ass and she was not shy with him at all, poking it up there a little, so he licked her ass too, kissed it like a moog, and the backs of her legs, my God.

Then he lay back cause she took his line and told him to, and he hadn't expected she'd give him orders, but he lay back and she was going to have a look now, and she touched his dick and his legs went straight as he took her hand and showed her how to do it, put her fingers around him and stroke up and down. Just that he had to breathe slow and tell himself not to lose his load. "Oh," he moaned cause damn. And she told him he was beautiful. And she kissed his bruises, but fuck that.

His turn, he pushed her on to her back and he pushed her legs apart and she complied, whispering his name, her eyes big and shine in the soft light of evening coming in, and one leg bent, the softest skin on the thigh, especially close to her girlish parts, and he could see them now, and he'd never got to really look before, at a woman there, and this one, his heart and soul, and his eyes had never feasted on something so completely captivating as her secret pink folds of flesh. He smelled her there, and my God that had to be canned, that did. He kissed her there, and she was a little frantic he should, but he sushed her and told her how much he liked it and she lay back and he could feel her tension plenty, but he used his fingers instead of his mouth and that seemed easier on her, and God he loved this, touching her, he made her come three times pretty much in a row and she said it was different the last time, more inside of her where she was quaking. She thanked him and cried some, and told him she didn't know she could love like she did, like she felt, and he told her he loved her that way too.

"Is it like this for you, so strong, you can't hardly hold it?" she asked him.

He was ready to push his dick in some, between her wide open legs. "Yes," he said shaky. "It's what took me down outside the courthouse."

"Love?"

"Yeah," he said pushing in a little. Oh my God that hot ring of flesh gripping his dick right on the tip, if blood came out of his eyeballs he wouldn't be surprised.

"Oh baby," he ground out. "Oh shit." When he could breathe he said, "You okay?"

"Yes," she said, her voice young and thin, her hands gripping his shoulders.

He pushed a little more.

"Oh it hurts," she whispered. He was frozen, holding his weight off of her, sweat running down his temple as her insides gripped him so hard he fought every instinct to pump like engine number nine.

"Should I stop?" he said. Please don't say yes.

"No, no. You're okay. It's better." Those breasts were heaving. Mother of God.

He pushed a little more.

"Ow. No. Stop."

"Should I pull out?"

"No. Just wait."

"You're so tight baby," he had to shut-up. Sweat rolled down his spine.

"Go on," she said thready.

"What?" this hammering in his ears.

"Go!"

And he did then. Heave Ho he went right through and she yelped a little and he stilled again, completely encased now in the velvet grip of her wet heat. He wanted to let out a war-cry.

"Oh baby," he gasped.

"Do it," she said punching his back.

He pumped once. "You okay," he said, his vision blurred.

"Go on," she commanded.

He pumped again.

"Go!" she yelled.

He went loony then, his teeth grinding as he tried to bear the sheer ecstasy of this…"I love you," he said, maybe five or six times. He couldn't stop, until the world went up in flames, and then he couldn't move as he released into her, molten lava in the depths of the earth, fire, baby. Fire.

"Oh shit," he said, now his voice thin, and a minute passed, they were fireflies again, floating in the silence, enraptured. "Oh shit."

After a minute he pulled out of her and collapsed beside her, sweaty and breathing hard.

She was there for the kissing. "I love you," she said. "Did it feel good?"

"Oh baby," he was huffing, "oh yeah."

He had not really known before this. One desperate time fucking that French girl against a tree. He had no idea. This was something else. This was fucking love. He was so fucking in love.


	35. Chapter 35

Hard Hearted 35

Eddie patted his freshly shaven jaw with the white terry-cloth towel. It had been some kind of morning…his first to wake up a married man. A legal fucker. He could fuck…or make love…with the blessing of every bible-toting mother on the planet. Legally. Even Moses was smiling at him. So was Isbe, even in her sleep she'd been smiling. She wasn't some girl giving away the milk for free. He'd laid down his life and she poured it on…the milk. And she'd milked him and he was as happy as an engorged cow with a sucking calf. It was just ahhhh.

He had to work not to smile. He was a sick fucker. But he was a glutton for Isbe, for sex with her…oh man he loved it. Her body, her kisses…mama mia, her sounds, those eyes, her voice saying his name, her touch, so loving, and every part of her satisfying tender flesh…shit! He loved married life. At least the first twenty-four hours were going swell.

He remembered what he'd told her, "I always want this, you…. Don't…don't ever pull away. Let's keep it like this. All the time."

And she said they would. She would, for her part, stay open to him. They'd make up, make it work, make lots and lots of love. She wouldn't withhold herself, her body. He'd asked for that. They'd do it.

"I don't want that thing where we…start a war, keep a war. Then we don't do this." He didn't know how to say it, so he touched her place, her sweet spot he loved. He rubbed it a little. He wanted it to be good and real between them, all the time. He had no idea how a man and wife lost it…the thing that brought them together in the first place, but he hoped to God him and Isbe could hang on to it. It about broke his heart to think they could get to the place where…he couldn't even stand to think about it…her looking at him like she wanted to puke. If he ever saw that…. He hoped she understood how to keep it like it was now so she could help him figure it out cause he'd probably make her mad…well pretty regular is what he feared. But as long as she stayed nuts about him, he could talk her out of it…eventually. But if she got to the place where she wanted to puke…he couldn't talk her out of that. They'd be fucked then.

She'd said they couldn't go to bed mad. She said that was the secret, not to let it pile. Not to let shit pile, is what she'd meant.

"If we can't do it, be together…make love…if you don't want it…then you tell me, but not because you're mad," he'd said. He wanted a better reason, like she was sick, or having her girl time, or that she was tired. But not mad…like stewing around. That was shit that led to more shit and he didn't want that so yeah, not going to bed mad made sense.

"What if I'm mad, but I know I have to get over it and I will, but I'm not there yet and you want it, sex…," she said.

He thought for a minute, "No, that's too…it doesn't sound real. If you're mad we gotta talk so you get over it. Then we make up…Tarzan and Jane, you know?"

"What if I can't?" she said laughing.

He kissed her. "Don't make trouble that ain't there. I'm saying I want you and me to be good. All the time."

"I won't ever stop wanting you, Eddie," she'd told him. Sincerity, she had it in buckets, and he needed that. God he wanted it. Here she was, sitting on the bed beside him, legs tucked beneath her, not only her gorgeous eyes staring at him, but those nipples peeking through her long chestnut colored hair. It curled on the ends and there were those raspberries. It was hard to concentrate on her words. "Will you always want me, Eddie?"

That he did hear. "I married you because I want you all the time," he said.

That was that. They weren't going to be like everyone else. They were going to figure this marriage stuff out and succeed at it. Period. All they had to do was keep the crazy going…the insane happiness they felt right now.

The light out the window was good. It still held the magic he'd felt the day before, his wedding day. He laughed a little looking out there at the busy street that was lined with various businesses and places to eat. Hot Springs was paradise for the shady population. This was the place gangsters came to vacation. That moog Carl would be right at home here, not that he had any class. Every mom and pop shop on this strip had illegal gambling right out in the open. This little city thrived on it. And this is where he got married. That's what would always put it on the map for him.

When he finished dressing, he walked carefully to Isbe's side of the bed and took a long look at her. He kissed two fingers and pressed them lightly on her cheek. He wanted to touch her lips but was afraid he'd wake her, and then she'd want him to wait for her and she'd ask a million questions.

But he had a man to find. Well two of them, Seth and the orangutan they'd sent to look for him.

He opened the door to step out and Jasper was there, his knuckles raised, ready to knock.

He said Jacob had found Seth.

Seth sat in Jacob's truck, passenger side.

Jacob was beat up, so Eddie knew Seth had to be. Seth had it coming, not only for stealing, but knocking Billy out of his chair, knocking him out. He had some hits coming for that and looked like Jacob had delivered.

"What happened to you?" Eddie said like a proud papa. He was proud of this damn monkey.

Eddie and Jasper stood with Jacob by the truck. It was caved in a little in the front.

"Seth hit a deer on the way up," Jacob explained, seeming subdued now he'd had his revenge and got hamburgered in the process.

"Get your radiator?" Jasper asked.

"No. This thing can take a hit," Jacob said.

"Looks like you can too," Eddie said.

Jacob explained he'd found Seth asleep in the truck's bed at the park. He'd been in a private game and bet heavy. Most of the money he'd kept in the springs of the truck's seat. There was nearly a grand unaccounted for though.

"Fuck dat," Eddie said. He stepped to the window and looked in at Seth. Orangutan got him good in the face. "You owe me," he said.

"Owe you what? You owed me! I'm the one made you and them that money," Seth said.

"Think so? Well you spent the twenty-five dollars I was gonna give you when you knocked Billy out the chair. Fuckin' animal."

"Then get me a fight. I'll make it back," he said.

"No fucker. You like the ones can't hit back. Ain't no one gonna bet money on you," Eddie said. "You get your ass home. Got a job?"

Seth glared Jacob's way. "I don't know."

"Oh…you hit the bossman? Dumped his old man in the kitchen like some trash? Yeah…you probably need to get your ass back to Chicago and read the want ads. Paying off a thousand bucks at what…thirty, forty cents an hour, yeah it's gonna take you a while. I tell you what, you miss a payment fucker you will have that fight. My foot up your ass? Yeah. I want a hundred bucks a month, due first of the month. You pay Billy and I'll collect. And for the same amount of time you owe me, you owe Billy. I mean he wants to spit on the floor, you're there to lick it up and make sure it shines. And you got a truck to fix, fucker. You got a question for me?"

Seth glared at him.

"You thinkin' about not coming home? Then don't ever come home. Don't ever show your face in the old neighborhood, fucker. Cut your ties cause I find you…any one of us find you…sayonara baby," Eddie said. "Your old lady…don't even try it. You're dead to her you don't come home and try to be a damn man you sucker."

Eddie yanked the truck's door open and Seth yelled and held his arm which he'd had propped against the door.

"Eddie," Jacob said, "his shoulder is hurt."

"Oh," Eddie said, "dat so?" He gripped Seth's shoulder and that one tried to wrench free but Eddie held on. "This one right here? Dat so?"

They tussled some and Seth fell over on the seat, holding his arm and sweat on his forehead, teeth gritted. "It's broke," he choked out.

"You do this? Outstanding," Eddie said to Jacob.

Jacob looked worried. "He…he got in to some trouble."

Eddie looked back to Seth and slapped the side of his face. "Oh. Underhanded shit with the big boys? Didn't fly then huh? They take you out of the game?"

"Get the fuck away from me," Seth yelled.

Eddie stepped up in the truck, slapping at Seth. "You talkin' to me like dat fucker? You talkin' to me?" He gave one last push against that shoulder and Seth yelled, and Eddie backed out of the truck.

"Shit," Eddie stood next to Jasper.

"Eddie…," Jacob began. Eddie knew he was about to make an appeal for this moog. He didn't want to hear it.

"Sit up," Eddie said and Seth slowly raised up and sat there cradling his arm, breathing heavy out the mouth. "How's it feel to be helpless and have someone hitting on you? How's it feel big man?"

Seth looked at him, then away. Eddie could see the anger. And hopefully some shame. That would be the best thing Seth could show right now—shame.

Jacob handed Eddie the bag of money. "Hey," he said to Jacob as he reached in for a few hundred, "me and Isbe got married yesterday."

"She married you?" Orangutan said with the pissy attitude.

Eddie stopped rummaging. "What…I stutter?"

Jacob swallowed big. "Charlie…."

"I don't want to hear that fucker's name," Eddie warned, holding the money inside the bag.

"She's a great girl."

"Yeah," Eddie agreed. "No one like her. And she's my girl. My wife."

Jacob had flushed a deep red. His hands were on his hips. He nodded then.

"Yeah. It's my honeymoon," Eddie said and he resumed counting.

"You'll treat her right?"

Eddie dropped a hundred out of the bundle of money in his hand.

"Here's your money," he said. Jacob didn't know that look had cost him a hundred bucks.

But Eddie knew. He'd been feeling lovey dovey, but now…forget it.

So the money Billy had made on Baboon and Gorilla's fights was still intact but for a grand. And that was good, that was Eddie's money. Top of that there was still the uncollected winner's purses for Em and Jasper. Eddie hadn't been declared the winner for his fight. He'd jumped the gun and knocked Potato Two out cold when he'd only meant to ring his bell a little. He had no pride in a fight. He used the room, the whole damn thing. So the brick wall…yeah, too much. So he hadn't been declared and he knew Carl would use it, but he deserved something for the win. Just ask him.

Seth was indebted, and Uncle Carl needed to pay up, too.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111

Later that day, after they'd sent Seth and Jacob down the road, the six of them were walking down the main street on their ways to take a big-deal bath. At a public bath-house. Alice and Rose had insisted. Wedding present-and Isbe had been excited and Eddie went along peaceably just to show moogs like Black and possibly Em that he could and would do a heck of a lot…for Isbe. His wife.

Now he would have loved this if him and her could be doing it together, and in private. But the way it went, him and the monkeys were taken in a side door in the lobby by some suspicious fucker named Fluffy. Now what kind of a man keeps a handle like that?

Em looked at Eddie and tip-toed a little, behind the moog's back of course, and Jasper was shaking his head, not cause he was worried about Fluffy losing the soap on him, that wasn't Baboon's style-worry, but because he wanted them to shut the fuck up and go along with it. So it must be the towels old Fluffy was named for. Jasper would see it that way.

The girls had been taken up to another floor in an elevator. Eddie wanted to strangle Rose and Alice for getting him in to this. But for his part, he peeled down in the booth and wrapped the towel around his ass and followed his guy, Jack, a way better guy then Fluffy at least, to a big claw-footed tub.

A loud engine sat beside the tub, hose snaking into the water and shooting a powerful load, roiling the water like a gator rolled around in there. He had to drop the towel and get up on a stool and swing his leg over the tub's side. Jack got a view, but Eddie didn't turn around like Jack said cause he wasn't giving him his ass just in case Fluffy showed up. So he went in and turned around and sunk down in that boil and fuck a duck.

Would Isbe have to do this? Damn he hated to miss that. But they had women attendants up there surely. Did these fuckers around here get a peek? Some secret hole in the wall? He had to stop wondering or he'd grab this Jack and hold him under.

Jack worked over his feet and legs, one at a time of course, with a coarse sponge like he was some filthy rich fucker. When he lifted Eddie's leg that steaming water jetted right up his ass hole. The hose was pointed right there by some comedian no doubt, and he laughed like a crazy man and tried to slide his ass a little to the side so he wouldn't get an enema. Jack didn't comment and that was good.

He hoped Em got Fluffy.

It was weird, this whole thing, but man it felt good. A hundred degrees in that water, and every sore spot on him curled right up and said yeah. He figured twenty minutes weren't going to be enough, but they were cause he was tired of holding his foot in front of that forceful stream to keep it away from his asshole.

He thought of how in Europe, the mines had these big shower rooms. They'd go in those and have a shower, and man it was luxury after weeks, months without a wash.

Every time they'd approach one of those mines Baboon would try to meet up with him. He'd send Eddie a note saying, meet me on Wednesday. No date, no time. That was Jasper. He laughed now to think of it.

After twenty minutes in that tub Jack was there, giving him a little cup of mineral water, cold as frozen shit all the way down. Eddie climbed out and next he passed a couple of booths where first Em sat, his ass in a deep sink, his feet sticking straight out. "Oh fucker," Em said, his face red as a cherry.

Jasper was next, same thing, his long ass legs hanging over the deep lip on that sink, not sticking out like Em's. Jasper had his head back, eyes closed. He looked out for the count.

Eddie followed Jack and sat his ass in a big sink full of hot as shit water and soaked his cheeks like a turkey in soup or some shit, his nuts and his dick stewing there, thinking over their recent deeds, how they'd finally been put to use as God intended, like in that garden where Adam ruled all the beasts, mostly himself probably, or not, running around naked with his naked woman. Who cared about the animals then, good thing they were self-controlled cause if it were him and Isbe he knew who he'd be focused on, and it wouldn't be the zebras.

Her body, it made him lean his head back and groan. What'd he ever do to be given such a goddess? He imagined her up above and how good her girl parts were feeling about now getting a hot soak after the endless attention he'd given them. They were his now, she was his. It made him hard, in spite of the hotness of the water, it made him horny as a dog again. He wanted her. He wanted her right then, every creamy, vanilla inch of her, he loved every lick. That was the truth. She had a way of moving, and that body, God his future was rosy thinking of the endless stream of nights that awaited them. Arabian nights, baby. Endless tales they'd yet to make. Endless sweet fucks and sucks and dips into the bliss.

When it was time to raise himself out of that hot ball bath he had to laugh at the dreams he'd entertained.

From there it was the hot box, the sweat box. Like before he passed Em's booth, that fuckers red head the only thing showing top of that box. Sweating like he was under a tap. Jasper once again looked asleep.

They closed Eddie in his box, just his head out, and that heat, that steam rising up from the floor, slow turning spit is what he thought of, and him the hog on it…or in this case in it. He didn't like it…the old feeling…some of this sweat from that…the old feeling of being trapped. He didn't want to bring the old man there, but that moog was always in him, like his liver or something, stuck somewhere in his body, that moog fucker just waiting for a chance to shout out, "Remember me?"

He didn't want to give in. They said eight minutes and he watched that clock on the wall and twelve minutes later he didn't see that moog Jack or even Fluffy, and Em and Jasper were long gone, but he kicked his way out of that box then and oh, then Jack came running. Fuck him. Em probably slipped him a fifty just to fuck him around. He'd believe it if Emmie had pockets.

Next he lay on his back on a table, Jasper and Em already down the row covered in towels like a couple of mummies. Jack went back and forth to a big sink and wet towels which he kept covering Eddie with until just his face was left, and it got wrapped in a towel that was ice. A very nice contrast, he had to admit and he almost let it go that this fucker had let him steam until he was mush.

He couldn't wait to tell Isbe about this, swap stories. He wanted to see her, tell her about the water trying to shoot up his intestines. Was it like that for her? He couldn't wait to ask. Douche they called it for girls, filling the lady parts. He'd been a nasty kid, listening to all the talk he could. Girls, man when that hit big time he was up for anything. But that bath water had the force of a fire hose. He wondered if she'd kept it out…of her places.

It was a cold needle shower then, standing in a circle of calcium crusted cylinders that spit sharp streams of icy wetness against his body, and he rubbed his hands over himself and pictured Isbe like this. Cold needles on her warm glowing skin so soft and sweet she'd be, her hair streaming, her hands gliding over the slick silk, like they had last night, when she'd rubbed herself.

He was snapped out of it when he heard Gorilla's hoot from the shower in the next room. It made him laugh.

After that it was another room and a big guy named Hans with hands that kneaded the living shit out of his sore muscles. Now this…he didn't like a fucker touching him, but he made himself relax and he could hear Gorilla again moaning and groaning, and he laughed like hell at that cause that fucker would have no trouble being served like this. But him, it wasn't easy to submit to it. Good as it felt, it hurt too cause he was sore, but someone touched him like this, another man, he wanted to punch him so bad, he just did. He wanted to yell, "Fuck you," a couple of times, too. And he knew it was his twisted shit, but knowing what it was didn't make it go away.

It never went away, it just lay down now and then, but it never went away.

That fucker was working on a spot in his back.

"What is that?" Eddie asked cause he could feel it in there, a doorknob or something.

"A knot," Hans said, and he kept digging.

And Eddie grit his teeth, held on to the table and Hans dug and wiggled his fingers there, deep in and shit it hurt.

And Eddie felt tears in his throat, wanting to come. And fuck, tears? What the fuck were these tears?

He was happy. He'd been happy.

"Stop it," he said, loud.

"It's tension here…," Hans said, still digging.

"Leave off," Eddie said, his right hand clenching.

"I almost…," Hans said.

His father…there he was. That knot was the old man. He was in him like poison. He'd confronted him already…before the war…but he hadn't gone away…and feeling him so weak, his old man, over powering him, hadn't cleansed him, hadn't fixed him. He couldn't get free of that fuck. He couldn't get rid of him. What if he was like him? What if being married brought it out? What kind of father would he be? He better start thinking about it…all the fucking….

"I said no," Eddie shouted, knocking Hans' hand away as he sat up. He stood and gathered the sheet around his waist. "I'm done now. That's all," Eddie said.

Hans put his hands up, like surrender. Eddie walked out then, fumbled around until he found the right way to the locker room and his clothes.

He should go back and apologize, tell that guy…oh fuck him. He just…he didn't like to be touched. Except by Isbe. Just her. He should go back, tip that guy some, no hard feelings. But he knew he wouldn't.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111

When they were dressed and downstairs, he paced while the other two sat like stuffed bags of potatoes, slumped in chairs awaiting the girls.

"Eddie, what does it take with you, man? Relax!" Em said.

When the elevator came down, the three of them there, they were stunning together, but Isbe, he felt his heart clench. She always made him feel better. The minute he saw her—better.

They hugged and kissed, and he looked her over. Her hair was tied up, still wet, but her skin all blush pink and so soft. A little cotton dress—pink. He moved his lips over her cheek.

Everyone said how much they liked their baths, but over lunch the stories came out. Em brought it up, in mixed company and all. He said how he hadn't expected to be washed inside and out. They all ended up laughing. And like he thought, Isbe whispered, "Be glad you're not a girl." But everyone heard it and big time laughing then.

He told her he was glad she was a girl. His girl.

And Em heard it and said, "Listen to this sap shit." And more laughter. But not from Eddie. He was glad she was a girl. Fuck Em.

Em told them about Fluffy. They shared all the names. Jasper had gotten Fluffy. He whispered something to Alice and she laughed.

Isbe fed Eddie another bite of her sandwich, and he liked it so much. Her food was always better than his even though they ate the same things usually.

On the walk back to the hotel he told her, "I didn't like the steam box. I don't like it close like that. Makes me think of the old man." He wanted to say something about it and he didn't. But Em had accused him of not telling her stuff. Well he was telling her.

"Your dad, Eddie…," she began.

"I don't want to think of him, but he's in there sometimes."

"I can't imagine," she said.

She couldn't? "Yours wasn't…isn't such a prize either though." What was with him, saying all this?

She was quiet, not agreeing, not disagreeing. Nothing.

"One difference, Eddie."

"What's that?"

"I…I work on forgiving him. You know?" she looked at him, the sun bringing out this red in her drying hair. "Otherwise…I'll end up just like him."

"You ain't nothing like him." Oh, she was not. He couldn't let her think that.

"Cause I forgive. All the time, a hundred times."

"I ain't doing that. Anyway…no…I wouldn't know where to start," he said. She didn't know how much there was…to forgive.

"You forgive…or you carry," she said. "When it gets too heavy…maybe then. You'll figure it out."

He stopped walking and the others walked around them.

She was wise. He hadn't realized how wise. He didn't agree. He wasn't letting his old man off the hook like that. Nothing he'd done was okay. But the way she seemed so sure…. She forgave that fuck Charlie cause she didn't know that fuck. Not the whole list. See, he couldn't say that. Break her heart and shit. Give her more work to do. More to carry and try to get rid of. She was too good. For her old man, for him. She was just a good person. The best.

She made herself taller and she kissed him. He didn't bend to it. It got to him, the way she was so kind. She'd told him she'd wait while he figured it out…his life. Now she was his life. She was still waiting and they'd only been married a day. What if he never….

Oh, change of subject. "Then tell me this, your girl parts get ready for another go in there?" he nodded back toward the bathhouse they'd left a couple of blocks behind them.

She laughed and picked at his collar. "Eddie…," now he was waiting, "I was so…so naked. In that water…hot water…hot on me…everywhere hot and so…so…so…." Pink as she was, in the sunlight she was turning a deep red. She couldn't finish this, whatever she'd been about to say but she was looking at him, and everything they'd done together was in her eyes. Then she was giggling.

"Finish it," he squeezed her a little, right there. "I'm all ears," he said, finger over her lips trying to coax those nasty words he'd kill to hear. "Please finish it Doll, I ain't said please in a hundred years."

She batted her lashes and did this goofy cute smile. "I thought about you, Eddie. How could I be naked…in that water…knowing you were near…and not be all squirmy…it's always about you."

"Yeah?" He laughed, his voice so pathetically eager.

"Yeah. I…wondered what you were doing…naked…like me." She smiled, bewitching. He was bewitched.

"It ain't like you, Isbe. There is nothing…like you."

He got real close to her, too close for standing on the sidewalk in the sunshine. His arms were around her, hands against the back of her cute little dress. "Let's go to our room and I'll tell you all about it. I'll tell you exactly what I thought about."

She had tears in her eyes and she was biting her lip.

The others had gone on ahead. He heard Em's whistle. "C'mon," Em yelled. Eddie saw Rose hit Em and heard him say, "What?"

Then all of a sudden he had something to say, "Isbe…you be the forgiver. I…admire it. I do. But someone has to do the dirty work…you know? Like in the war. That's me. I do the dirty work…see?"

She had tears in her eyes and she was biting her lip.

"What's the matter?"

"I…I just love you so much, Eddie. It was hard to be so far away from you in that bathhouse. I could feel you…thinking about me. I knew you were," she said. Then she whispered, "You make me feel beautiful, Eddie. You see that in me. But…I see it in you, you know? It's exactly that way for me…when I see you."

He nodded then. He'd never, at no time, had a woman believe in him…something good like this. In him.

"Eddie," Gorilla called, but Eddie barely heard. If she believed this, he wasn't all bad. She brought out another thing in him—goodness. She gave him a reason to be good. She was the sun, not him. He could only reflect some of her light…back.

This was love. This is what it was…bringing out the good in each other. This was the direction he'd wanted…just that morning. He hugged her, but he looked over her head at the blue sky and for the first time in his life he felt like maybe, God was really listening. To him.

It wasn't going to change everything about him. He already knew he would do the hard stuff. He already knew that cause he'd stand in the way of it for her…it's who he was.

But it was adding something pretty damn profound to the mix to know…there was good in him.


	36. Chapter 36

Hard Hearted 36

"Hey baby, baby," he whispered on this, their last morning in Hot Springs. "I bought a car."

Eddie was holding a tray with some eggs and fruit and bacon. He brought this up himself from the Italian restaurant downstairs that wasn't yet open, but knowing he was newly wedded, the mama insisted on making this for them, special. There was some kind of paper thin meat called prosciutto. This was mob food. The good stuff.

Isbe was waking, smiling, rising on the two pillows she stacked behind her head. He told her about the food and she took a slice of apple and sunk her little white teeth into it and before she could even chew he sat the tray recklessly on the bed and leaned in to her for a kiss.

She was laughing, and he palmed one of her luscious breasts in his hand and he told her he wanted her for breakfast.

"You had me…the sun was barely up," she laughed having taken the apple back out of her mouth and holding it between her fingers.

"That was desert from supper," he said suddenly devouring that slice she held.

"That was in my mouth," she squealed.

"Made it sweeter," he laughed swallowing.

He had her robe open now and he smelled the soap on all that round…ness. "You took a bath?"

"I'm all clean and I need to stay that way if we're going to get on the road."

"Oh I make you dirty?"

Same time the fact that he'd bought a car finally dawned on her. "You really bought a car?"

"Yeah. I got a deal. It was probably used to rob a bank or some shit like dat."

"Eddie…you bought a car." It sounded more like an accusation.

"Yeah. We need a car."

"Why? The buses quit running or something? Or maybe you robbed a bank."

"Oh," he let go of her breast and she was already closing her robe. "Wrong side of the bed?"

"Wrong side…? We're married…right? You were there?" Her eyes, they were so proud when they looked at him, so lovey and sappy. She idolized him, he saw that. But right now they were getting that stern look, like a ma or some shit.

"What you mean was I there? You marry some moog I don't know about?"

He was up now, taking the tray to the table by the window and placing it there. He had packing to do. He found his bag and checked for the hundredth time that the rest of his money was in the bottom, and he grabbed a shirt and threw it in there.

She was out of the bed now. The flaps on that thin robe blew open as she walked to him with all the steal of a corporal. He saw her pubic hair and his eyes got froze there, but she grabbed his arm as she grappled with the other hand to hold that sheer thing closed. "Don't be mad."

And just like that, he wasn't. "I ain't mad," he said, the last of it leaving his voice. "I…thought you'd be happy."

She stepped close and her arms were around him. She was so warm. "I am happy. You just…surprised me is all. I…I kind of thought we'd decide things…together…you know?"

"Even cars?"

"Well…yeah. I mean…I know it's your money…that big bag you carry around, but…."

"Nah, none of dat. What's mine is yours, Isbe."

She tightened her hold on him. "I love you so much."

He kissed her. "Let's do it quick." He wanted to. He loved the big productions they'd put on in this room, but he'd like a quick one.

"Do…it?" She'd backed off a little, and that robe was just thinking about coming open.

He was fully clothed, and she would be the one naked. Now that was new…the sun was shining and all.

"Let it drop," he said low, like saying it soft would make it easier.

He saw the struggle. But she moved her shoulders, her eyes glued to his, but he had to tear away and watch as that soft sheer drifted off of her body and there she was, just a beauty.

"Oh damn," he said. It wasn't enough…cursing. Seemed like he'd gotten so sloppy it's all he had sometimes.

But she was gorgeous. And of all the things he wanted to touch, he reached forward and took her hand. "Come 'ere," he said, backing up a little. She was walking toward him, and her breasts swayed just a little, that creamy stretch of stomach and the little navel dip, the deep red brown hair over her sweet spot, and her thighs drove him out of his mind. She was lovely and stunning and nasty and sexy and she made his breathing difficult.

He pulled her to the dresser, had her place her hands there. She looked at herself in the mirror and the flush she already had got a shade darker. Her hair was parted on the side and one eye was nearly covered. He about loved that, well this whole scene.

"What?" she tried to laugh, but she couldn't pull it off. He wasn't laughing, he was opening his buckle and pants and pulling out his dick and it was full grown and eager, and from behind he buckled his knees a little and reached between her legs and found her responding, sending out the slick heat he needed to grease the way.

He found the pulse in that tight midway and the head of his dick connected and he pushed and she adjusted her legs wider which made them come around on the outside of his, and she went forward, her head hitting the mirror and she laughed and groaned and her ass, God he wished he could get down there for a bite, a mouthful, and he bounced her a little and she was making some noise and oh Eddie, oh Eddie, and he grabbed her hips and up and down she was keeping it slick, so damn slick in her tight, tight grip and he didn't last long at all, just a few pounds and he let it fly, or it flew and he meant to pull out cause they probably only got a few bonus rounds and they'd used those, but damn, damn, he was blind, he couldn't breathe, then he could, "Oh shit, I love you," he said, then laughed at his bad poetry, but fuck a duck, fuck it, this girl.

Reality…his softening dick and her lifted over him, her little ass…which he loved…looking like butter sculpted about perfect, he disengaged and lowered her, and she'd bore most of her weight on the wrecked dresser, wrecked because the packages they'd thrown there after shopping and some of her bottles were knocked over or on the floor, and there she was, all flushed red and marks from where he'd held her and gripped her, but he picked her right up, his whole world in his hands, and he carried her to the bed, his pants slipping down as he laid her there, and he went to his side next to her and kissed her soft and sweet cause he'd been rough. And she was telling him she liked it, and his hand was there in the wet forest they'd mixed it up in there, some of him, some of her, and he worked his fingers in there, slow and tender, over her swollen parts, and he brought her to the place where her legs were so open for him, so open, and he looked and looked down there, at what his fingers were doing, were working, and he watched her come and tighten around him, and then her face, and he kissed her all through it, and she pulled on his hair and gave him her tongue, and he let his tongue take her mouth like his dick had taken her minutes before, it was like that, some kind of claiming thing that was another level of what a man and woman could do.

When she came down, she had her hands on his face. They'd gotten somewhere new again. He didn't know how deep this went, coming together and feeling like you were so much a part of the other, had gone in so deep you were learning something only God had seen before you.

"There's no man like you," she whispered. "You make me…."

He took one of her hands and kissed her fingers. "Yeah."


	37. Chapter 37

Second one today. Be sure to read 36.

Hard Hearted 37

She wore this scarf he'd bought her in Hot Springs, a blue and dark pink print, some flowers and a bird or something. She had her hair long, parted on the side beneath it. She wore these dark glasses, eyes like a cat's, and this red lipstick on even though he'd eaten enough of it off her lips already, but she kept reapplying.

She was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen and he'd spent some years looking.

She was right next to him on the seat and she had her arm threaded through his and he had his hand between her knees and he held on to her leg which had her dress pulled up.

It was a Tarzan move, but he loved it and she had her legs parted a little even and it meant they were married and he was over the line but not really cause the line had been blown to smithereens.

He liked marriage.

So the wind was whipping in, and Em and Baboon were up ahead with the girls, and he was with his wife. His wife. And he thought hell, this was good a time as any.

"You thought about where we're gonna live?" he said.

He asked her to light him a smoke and she was doing that so he had to wait for her response.

When she put that smoke between his lips, he took a drag and she said, "At my house. That what's yours is mine goes both ways you know. Alice can move in with Rose. We talked it all out at the bathhouse."

"Well…that's the other thing. Your old man….his exact last words were stay away from my daughter. I see you again, I'll kill you." He looked at her quick and she was working a fish mouth.

"He said that?" It was a statement and a question. Oh, she did not know her fucking father.

Eddie shrugged.

"Oh Eddie. Why didn't you tell me? He cannot talk to you that way," she said, and it was kind of cute, but nothing about this was too cute. "Kill you? He said that? Who does he think he is?"

"I…."

"He's supposed to be an upholder of the law! And he threatens to kill you? Are you sure?"

He didn't like repeating. He'd said it. He went on smoking while she got ahold of it.

"Tell me exactly what happened. Exactly."

"I did."

"No. If he said something that strong…something more was going on. Did he…hurt you?"

"I was in jail, Isbe. It's not a tea party."

"Not a tea party. So…he roughed you up, or threatened you through the bars…I mean he'd just been on the radio gushing over you. So what…he was just disappointed or worried…?"

"I didn't ask him what he was feeling," Eddie said, a deep drag, and two hands on the wheel now and squeezing.

"What was it like when he said this?"

"Why? I don't remember that shit. He said it."

"Like he meant it?"

He finished the smoke and pitched it out the window. He put his hand back between her nearly sealed legs.

"He meant it maybe. I don't know him," he said, but he knew Swan better than she did.

"Well…I do. He would never kill you." She had folded her arms. "I can't believe he would…he's got nerve. So much nerve."

"That's why I don't want to live in his house."

"You aren't. You're living in mine."

"Not me."

"Oh really? We going to live in your room with all those perverts hanging in the halls?"

"No. I'd never bring you there," he rebuked. "What you think?"

"I don't…want to leave my house, Eddie. That's my house."

"Who's name is it in?"

"I don't know. His, I guess."

"Then it's his. I ain't living there."

So they rode in stony silence for a bit. Then out of the clear blue sky, "Stop the car, stop it," and her over by her door and opening the damn thing with him barely able to get to the side of the road in time.

"Isbe what the fuck…?"

She was out and walking, and he got out too, going after, and up ahead Em had pulled over. Great, another scene from the Eddie and Isbe show.

"Isbe," he about screamed.

A truck went by, that nosy bastard craning his neck.

She stopped, ripped the scarf off her head and she bent over a little to let out a scream. "I hate him. I hate him."

She didn't resist Eddie when he put his arm around her. She was too little to hold all this kind of stuff, the way she got going. "Come on," he said. How was he going to tell her stuff if she couldn't sit still?

He wanted to lecture her, but damn she just needed to get back in the car.

But she got sick then and he had to help her out, she was bent over by the door of the car and he was trying to hold her but she'd pushed away and she heaved a little.

"You didn't eat enough," he said. He'd eaten all that breakfast practically by himself. She'd been flitting around singing and packing. Every time she'd come close to the tray she'd pick up something and feed it to him instead.

"You okay?" he asked her as she stood before him, tragic face and retying her scarf. She was so pale.

She could only shake her head. But she looked up at him before she got in. "I would kill him if I thought he meant to hurt you." She had nearly whispered this, but it shocked Eddie with how fierce it was.

"Whoa, whoa," he said, taking her hand. "Isbe, it will be okay. He's not going to get the chance to do anything."

"Here's what no one knows, Eddie, he's so afraid of losing me." She choked then, and the tears came and she swiped at them very angrily. "He never had me. He never had me," she said. "And he has no idea…no possible understanding of how much I love you." She'd said this through her teeth.

It scared him a little. He knew she loved him, but…damn, maybe he had no idea how much. She needed to calm down. "It's okay, Isbe."

"It's not okay. It will never be okay. He threatened you and even if you won't tell me how it was I know…know he had a gun and you didn't. I'll kill him before he hurts you again. Know this. I'll kill him."

"Alright, Isbe. Alright. It's alright," he said, touched and scared at the same time. He could almost picture her blowing him away. Right now he really could see it.


	38. Chapter 38

Hard Hearted 38

The road Eddie's two-door Ford sedan devoured in the wake of Em's much further ahead Buick…rolled out like a never ending tongue, words like trees here and gone, some broken and isolated to the point where the impression was so singular, so unforgettable in its starkness…outlined against the bright blue silence, arms spread…especially one, twisted out there, nothing around…the kind you remembered for years…hard to forget…those kind…like, 'I'll kill him.' She, the forgiver, said she would kill her own father.

Others were entwined with vines and limbs reaching into one another, their shape an endless wall of dark and tattered, no beginning, no end, one big woven unity of pain and pieces of pieces and things you learned…you knew…you'd die over before you'd deny…she loved Eddie enough…if it came to it…to do it.

Separation would maim and kill…these trees…these words. They created the whole mass of life and death, of sun and patterned darkness and the relentless brittle decay that comes from too many piles and too many undisturbed layers that hide the silent chewing in the damp underneath…the steady rot where live things live and seeds sprout…hiding from the sun until something like this makes one thing seek the light above…one thing…they had a love they'd protect. They'd protect one another. It was already happening…in the heart…where everything real happened first.

He was a man…and his path had been war, and now in peace, he was warring still, without the conviction of country behind it, now…it was up to him…to put it all to rights.

And all the gaps in his thinking, were gaping now, bright white shining through tears in his darkness and the light hitting his wife, his love, and she'd see now, the weakened fabric of his ideas, and she'd run her hands there and say, oh this, oh that, when she picked the words…to express her dismay. Just this, telling her what her father had said…just that…threatened everything with fire.

That's how this conversation was with Isbe, his wife, and all conversations where something was said and thousands of things were not, never would be, and yet all of it, all of it was accepted in a vow…and a look…and a kiss…and a wish…whether anyone knew or they didn't…they couldn't know what they'd said yes to…but whatever they faced…from here on out…they'd face it together.

Isbe had just kissed Eddie, his cheek as he drove and stared out the windshield seeing, all he could, and missing nearly everything.

"He hates what I love, Eddie. First my mother…now you. It hurts. I don't want it to. I was safe from wanting…anything. I'd forgiven him, and it cost me. But now? There's no way to be close to him…and not hurt.

"I meet with him because of his guilt. And he's my father. I didn't choose him but I always hoped that by finding a way to honor him…I could survive…him. But no one does…not even himself. If someone dies…it won't be you…."

It was well in to the second hour of this. He would think it had calmed down, then it would start again, the strafing, the flare of hurt from the well inside her. He hadn't realized…how it was for her. And some of what she'd told felt new, like new words she was just putting together…just now. Other of it seemed rehearsed, like she'd already told it…maybe shared it with the girls…maybe shared it with herself and the man upstairs when she forgave it.

What he knew was that Charlie Swan barely spent time with his daughter growing up. She barely knew him, like he thought. Came time for the mother to be dying, it didn't make Charlie care.

Charlie stayed away—nothing extra at the house. Her mother had a job cleaning the rectory at Isbe's school, but once she got hurt—it was Charlie or nothing then. When her mother's settlement came, that paid for the pool and some repairs, some extras.

But Isbe was alone long before her mother died. Charlie tried moving the other woman into the other side of the duplex. Isbe took a stand. She had survived him for too long. So that didn't last more than a couple of weeks. The thing he did for Isbe was to really, finally leave. And since Isbe's mother had put so much into the house, old Charlie let Isbe 'have it' for all intents and purposes, but Eddie knew he was never too far away, peeping from the woods and all.

What Eddie figured, Charlie made them right off, the monkey's. Him tight with Carl, he would know they were in it too, at least Emmie and for sure the Buick.

So the robbery at Lou's-did Charlie have anything to do with that? He hadn't had the money on him when Charlie drove him home. But later, that fuck and his boys tore Lou's place apart, that's what Eddie figured and when they didn't find the dough? That's when Charlie got in some kind of trouble with Uncle Carl cause the ear tied it all in. Then the fights and Charlie bursting in-the money flying fast, the pickings green, and the Irish fucking loved green and they were all in the same big old rotten field of clover. Carl would blame the coppers while Charlie made sure Uncle got his pockets full. Fuck a duck.

"Your old man," he told Isbe when she seemed about out of ways to say it, "he ain't always on the up. Now that don't bother me so much, Isbe."

"What have you seen?"

"He's been dealing with these gangsters a lot of years I'll bet. It's not like you think…sliced like bread all neat, bad guys over here, good guys over here. It's not the real world, kid."

"I'm not a baby, Eddie. You don't have to talk to me like one."

"I'm saying your dad…he wears a hat…two colors. You know dat?"

She didn't answer, kept looking forward.

"Thing of it is…I got that hat, too." She should know that at least.

She looked at him now. "What's that mean, Eddie? You in trouble?"

"No. Jasper's uncle paid my fines and I'll make good with him. But…I ain't…," he thought of Jacob Black then, Jacob with the gas station, a business. He wasn't that. He wasn't much of anything. Yet. What he couldn't say, what he just thought of, being her husband…that made him something else. Something big. The rest would come. Hell or high water it would.

"You think I'd love you more if things were black and white, Eddie?"

He looked at her.

"I couldn't," she said, almost miserable.

"Yeah?" Back to the road.

"I love you either way. I do!"

"You do? You…know?"

"That job two in the morning? I knew right off, Eddie. We all did. Now that bag of money? Come on. That fight? The three of you throwing all this money around? You buying a car? You've been in jail, Eddie. I swear…you think I was born yesterday? I may be quiet but that don't mean I can't add two and two. You got that money right after the hold-up at Lou's. You killed those men and took the money," she said pointing to her temple.

He was looking at her, then the road, one then the other.

"It wasn't that way. Those fuckers were there to steal and not leave witnesses. I barely got out of that…well not barely. I killed them easy." In case she had doubt. He knew how to kill. "But I had to and it wasn't to steal the loot. I fought for my life there. Fuck them. And Lou told me to hide it. Then he died." He looked at her and here came the laugh. "Act of God."

"Oh, Eddie," she groaned, grabbing his arm and digging her fingers in.

"You thought I'm what…some murdering G-man? You think that low on me? Why'd you marry me then?"

"Oh Eddie," she slapped his arm. "You got to ask? I love you, idiot."

"Yeah, well maybe you should think things through more."

"I did. I said it, Eddie. I said, 'I do!'"

Thank God for cigarettes. He motioned she should light him another. They'd about gone through the pack. She gave a lit fag to him.

"Tell me what you think you know…about me," he dared to say.

"You mean about the money? I said to myself whatever Eddie tells me is what I know. Don't make me guess. You told me you sold stuff from the war."

"Yeah. I only want to protect you," he said.

"From the truth? So lying is okay? To me?"

"It's not like I'll ever cheat on you. It'll never be dame stuff with me."

"Why do you bring up such a thing? I wasn't worried about 'dame stuff!'"

"Hold on a minute. I'm just saying I got my limits. But out there, an opportunity comes…maybe I'll take it. You know? I mean…I got my reasons. You got to trust me. Not telling you some things is for your good." The way she looked in that scarf, her little face so beautiful. His Madonna. She could say anything…do anything and he'd be the one to forgive. Damn she had him good.

"Let me tell you something Eddie-I couldn't bear if something happened to you. So trust me on this…I don't ever want you to put yourself in harm's way. I want to know what you're doing."

"Nothing is going to happen," he said. "I lived through the worst. Since I been home? Piece of nothing."

"Piece of nothing? You and me happened Eddie. That's something…everything. You fight…jail…my father's threats? Nothing Eddie?" She'd scooted away a little so she could bring a leg up on the seat and face him. He held on to her ankle, like he didn't want her further away even though she might need to shut up pretty soon. His thumb was rubbing over the sharp bone there.

"I'm sorry I sold you short on killing those guys, Eddie. But you don't tell me anything so I have to try and figure it out! This is peace time. There's the law."

Thank God Em had pulled off up ahead. He reached this shiny silver diner in the middle of nowhere and pulled in the lot. The four of them were already out, the girls holding their dresses down because of the wind.

Eddie and Isbe had pulled in on that note of Isbe's, "There's the law."

She was going to tell him about law? He was a soldier. "Isbe, I know about law, okay?"

"I know," she said, already seeming regretful. "I don't want to fight. I'm sorry…I'm just sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I ain't mad," he said, and they had their faces pretty close.

Em moaned and said, "Come on, man, you can mess around for the next three hundred miles. I gotta get some meat."

"Eddie," Isbe said, more softly now, more subdued, "what he do? My father?"

"Nothin'. He's a fuck. Sorry about dat, but he is. He's dirty…like in with the others…the Irish boys. He's the ones you see…like politicians. You know how it is…right? They stick together. They work it all the way up and down. Charlie does his part. That's what I've seen."

Her brow was creased and she was listening hard. "Doesn't surprise me. I've seen things too…growing up."

"First time…I don't know. I got reason to believe…," he did not want to tell her about that ear. He did not. He wouldn't. They had three hundred more miles and shit. Let old Charlie explain that one. He'd had nothing to do with it. Couldn't blame him for throwing it out. It could have been anyone's and it was only getting more rotten by the minute. "He's in with Em's Uncle Carl and that moog…they work together."

"That's it?"

"That's…what I know. Some of it…has to play out, you know?"

"No."

"Well it does. That's all I got for now."

"So he's going to kill you…because he knows you're with me?"

"He threatened to, if I don't get out of town." What Eddie really thought? At his worst Old Charlie was pissed that he lost his ear over money he might strongly suspect Eddie had. At his best he was warning Eddie to get out of town before Carl ripped him to shreds. Yeah, Carl had possibly made Billy and his ample funds. What the fuck on that. It was his money…borrowed at the time while Lou was still alive. It didn't have a thing in hell to do with Carl or Charlie. But the three robbers…now they might.

"He must have seen us," she whispered.

"I ain't trying to hide," Eddie let her know.

"Me either," she countered.

"Good thing," he said, cause they were married.

"You didn't just…rush it…," she faltered.

"Don't say it, Isbe. Don't even say it." Em had done enough of that. "He's got nothing to do with us."

"Alright Eddie. But how am I gonna know if I don't ask sometimes?" she defended.

"Come 'ere," he pulled her close. "Let's not get confused, alright?"

"I ain't confused, Eddie. I've never been confused about you." She was looking from his eyes to his lips.

"Keep it like dat," he said to her, Eskimo kisses, and little pecks. "C'mon, let's get some meat." He had to squeeze her breast while he said that, and she moaned a little and leaned into it and that diner had windows.

"Eddie," she whispered.

He hugged her so tight she squeaked a little. That's how it was.

"Hey Eddie?" she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I…know I said that about obeying?"

"Yeah," he answered moving her hair back and the scarf so he could kiss her neck.

"I can't do it." Then with more verve, "I can't do it. I don't want to."

"Be married?" Cause that's all he heard.

"No. No. Obey."

He'd pulled back now, and she was talking with the hands and all like…some Italian or something…a mile a minute. "I didn't think about it until I heard it when the guy was marrying us, and…I crossed my fingers, right there in those flowers, Eddie I told God, please don't hold it against me." She was crying. Fuck a duck, real tears. About this?

"Stop, Isbe. C'mon. At least you remember what that moog was saying. I didn't even know!" he tried to laugh. But oh. That was not the right thing to say and he knew it the moment she looked at him.

"You didn't mean it?" she whispered, all tragic.

"What? Of course I meant it." That's it! She drove him crazy.

He tried to kiss her again, kiss her out of it cause that worked sometimes, but not today, oh no.

"Listen to me. I…don't want to move from my house. I…can't, Eddie."

"What do you mean you can't?"

Suddenly Em's boom broke in. From the diner's doorway he called to them. "Eddie…c'mon?"

"Get me a cubesteak," Eddie called. "What you want?"

She sniffed. "A bacon sandwich."

"A bacon sandwich. Hold the lettuce," he already knew. "And two Coca-Cola's. One with vanilla."

Em waved at him like he was a bad smell and went back inside.

"Honey, baby, I ain't living someplace where I wake up and that fucker is standing over me or some shit." Or spying. He could never be sure that Fucker wasn't in the woods with the scope.

"I can't leave. It's not just my home…but Rose and Alice. Eddie I can't. It's all I got left of my mother. I ran him off, I was…he couldn't withstand me, I was so strong. I made him leave. It was Mom's and she wanted me…it's what she left…and if I run now…I don't run! I won't ever run from him!"

Holy shit here was that fire he feared, burning through all the old shit, her lifetime's worth of debris stacked up between her and her old man. "Calm down, baby. Calm down." Yeah, calm down. His own heart was slamming hundred miles an hour. He didn't like to see her so upset. He couldn't stand it. Already she had his dick. He was just a body now. Just a damn bag of squish like he feared. He was going to do it, move in to Charlie's house, at least until she could calm down about it. He'd do anything for her, and it was taking his dick away, just like he knew it would…all this care and concern…little elves running away with it, his dick, hi-do-ho over their heads…over their heads…like him.


	39. Chapter 39

Hard Hearted 39

They pulled up to the Swan fort after midnight and dumped their stuff right inside the door and seeing as old Charlie wasn't hiding in the dark with his revolver, they'd stumbled up to bed. Isbe about had a heart attack rushing around in the morning to make it to work, and he reminded her she didn't have to wait for the bus like usual, and she calmed down then and he'd followed her around wearing his skivvies, watching everything, making her self-conscious and shy, and he'd hung on her while she tried to put on her make-up, he was behind, his arms wrapped around her while he nuzzled her neck and he saw her eying his muscles kind of bulging around her while she told him not to mess up her hair. He went on trying to distract her and she kept trying to get ready. And he asked her a hundred questions to drive her crazy, like, "How come you put your lipstick on that way?" or "You don't need that make-up babe, you're gorgeous either way, but with it…there ain't a dame in Hollywood…but you don't need nothin'."

He about died watching her put on her nylons and snap them into the garters.

"Why you gotta be so sexy baby? Rolling up those stockings…."

She stood before him, he sat on the bed and he was rubbing his hands up and down her legs and she warned him not to give her a snag, but she liked it, she didn't fool him, her mouth open, watching his hands, one of her legs up there and damn he rubbed his hand all the way up her skirt and it got so warm up there, "Damn baby."

"Eddie," she whined but he noticed her leg had opened right up a little, like his hand had said, "Open sesame." That soft skin on her thighs over those nylons, well he soon went to his knees and had his head under her dress and he kissed right up that satin and went to the literal satin underwear he'd bought her himself and he went to work then, her dress bunched over his arms, hands firmly planted on her hips, gripping her and keeping her on the little feet now planted either side of his lap, he was lost kissing on her privates like some pervert and damn…oh damn….

"Eddie, Eddie," she was gasping, hands on his shoulders, no resistance now, and he got them turned before she fell on top of him, and her seated where he'd been on the bed, and him rising up as he pushed her back, still under all the fullness of her skirt and the slip and she was wide open and had her heels on the bedrail and she lifted her hips as she gasped and he knew exactly what was going on, felt it, smelled it, moved his mouth on it, used his face, and welcomed this little wet death shuddering through her in a big way.

In a few quiet seconds her spine went soft and her legs were tossed open and he gave a last kiss on the honey and dug his way out of her skirt and his face hit the air and he looked up her, at her, and she raised her head and looked back huffing like she'd run a mile, and her face so radiant and beautiful he was as breathless as she.

"I can't believe you did that, Eddie."

"I loved it," he told her, right now, this, maybe the happiest he'd ever been in his life.

"Where did you ever learn such a thing?"

He shrugged, still stuck there on his knees. "I just invented it."

"Well…I never heard of it."

"Maybe we should get a patent." He got on his feet and flopped next to her.

"You have completely ruined me," she said. "I should have stopped you, but I believe you could make me do anything."

A series of pictures of their recent amorous activities flashed through his mind. "I believe you're right," he said as cocky as he'd ever been, big hands drumming on his stomach.

He laughed and went in for a kiss, and she drew back and scooted away and got up, trying to adjust herself. "Eddie…you need to gargle some peroxide. I mean…what are you thinking?"

He laughed at that and stood quick. "It's just us, baby. It's beautiful, whatever we do. Didn't you like it?"

He had her hand and he was kissing her palm, her wrist.

"I'm not going to let you get some disease because I liked it when there's plenty of other ways…." Her eyes were on his chest, his shoulders. She was so under his spell.

"Relax," he said kissing up her arm.

"Eddie…you're going to make me so late," she said, still breathless.

That was the idea. It had been brewing in him, all night in fact. He didn't want her to go to work. She didn't need to work now. She had him…her personal workhorse. He wanted her to be able to be home. Why should they both have to lift that barge and tote that bale? Fuck that. She could be home…do what she wanted, what she loved…for them. Fuck Ma Bell. They'd just gotten married for god sakes. She made her forty bucks, he'd pay her twice that to just stay home so he could go up under her skirt and take them to Mars whatever, wherever, whenever.

Wasn't that the good stuff? He had no idea how to have a normal life, but she did and this was it. So she could work on that, get it set up…tan by the pool and he'd keep it going with what they needed, whatever she said. So he told her some of this, he got back on his knees and he said all this, her sweetness on his mouth, his face, and him feeling as shiny as she looked about now, her eyes so dark and on him like healing rays of love, "C'mon," he said. "You took the big chance on me, you said yes. Now let it roll. Trust me."

He couldn't believe he'd asked that—for trust. He had to believe it was already there in buckets cause that's what being married was…right?

"Oh Eddie, it's too much," she whispered.

Too much? He said that, "Too much?"

"I have to think. I've…the way I am Eddie…I told you I'd stand by, right? While you figured it out? Well…me being an operator…it's steady money…."

He was still on his knees, his hands on her hips, looking up at her, "I got money Isbe. I'll get more. With you behind me? What else could I ask for? I'm a hard worker, baby. And for you? Sky's the limit for you."

One hand was on his cheek, the other playing with the hair that was long enough to hang on his forehead. "Eddie," she whispered, then she swallowed and he heard it, saw it, and the tears welling up.

"What can I do?" he said.

"I'm…I been taking care of myself for so long…you know? Me and Mom…then myself."

"I know, baby. I know it." He pulled her closer, tightened his arms. "But you got me now. What'd you think?"

She had her arms around his neck. No hesitation now she bent and kissed him with a little whimper and so much feeling behind it. After a few seconds she put her forehead on his. "Eddie," she was crying.

"It's alright," he said soft. "It's alright. It's a happy day. Happy day."

She pulled back after a few seconds, sniffling. "I don't know how…to let this…I don't know how."

"It's okay," he said getting back on his feet and rubbing her back.

Then he wiped her nose with the hem of her skirt and she didn't correct him for it.

"Eddie I can't quit right off."

"What?"

"I can't. I have to give my notice. I might need the reference, you know? Someday? Never say never."

"Baby…you won't need anything from Ma Bell ever again but a damn phone, don't you know that?" Fuck Ma, he kept thinking. And fuck Charlie.

That moog crook never took care of her, dangling her over the fires.

Eddie needed her to know, just fill it in for him, give him some direction and he'd do it, see. All of his strength…hers.

"I…I think I'm not used to…it might take me a while…to…be a good wife," she said, hic-cupping at the end.

"You think so?" Eddie said, laughing.

"It's just…I need to know Eddie, really know I can just let go of something that…it's like my main security, Eddie. I need to know…that…you've got a job." She hic-cupped again and he thought that was the cutest thing, but what she was saying was not so cute.

He was shaking his head. She didn't trust him at all.

"I know you're…thinking I don't know how great you are…and Eddie…I know. Believe me, there's no one like you. You're talented and strong and you'll get going again in no time. But…my job would take the pressure off of you for a while…you'd have time to find your spot again."

"I got money, Isbe. I can take care of us right now."

She laughed. "Eddie…I've seen the bag. And you've been spending it on me. I know you've got money. But that doesn't mean it won't run out. See…Charlie was a gambler. He gambled…all the time. So sometimes he had money…and we had money…and then he'd lose it all and we would end up with less each time. He'd come home and give us some money and he'd take it back and be gone in the morning. I'm kind of fractured. I guess…big lumps of money…well it feels like gambling, Eddie. I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. But slow and steady wins the race. I always loved that story…the Tortoise and the Hare? I love that one, Eddie, and I'm definitely the tortoise."

"I guess that makes me Bugs Bunny?" His pants were still balled on the floor with his shirt. He scooped up the shirt and rooted through the pockets for his cigarettes.

"Don't be mad. I'm telling you how I feel, that's all."

"I ain't mad," he said around his cigarette as he struck a match and lit the thing. "I just ain't your father, that's all, and it makes me…," this anger had hit, like a big wave of it, "…I ain't nothin' like him and you sayin' dat…," he took another drag.

She was on him then, patting him all over, "Eddie…no…you ain't him, you know I don't mean it like that. I just…let me put in my notice is all. Just in case."

He took another drag and nodded, not trusting what he'd say now.

She kissed his cheek, and he wanted it, wanted more, but God forbid he'd mess her up again with Ma B waiting.

She went to the mirror to smooth herself over. "Now I don't want to go. Not if you're mad." She faced him, such a beauty. Such a frustrating beauty.

He left the smoke in his mouth and got his pants on. He went to his bag for an undershirt and moved the smoke from mouth to hand to mouth and got his shirt on. She had picked up her purse and was checking through it, nervous now, snapping it closed and looking at him. "I'll do it, Eddie, hand in my notice. I promise."

"Do what you want," he said. Then he took another drag and let it out big. The anger was leaving. "I mean it. You do what you want."

She put the purse under her arm and got closer to him. "Let me tell you something Eddie...doing what I want is what got me in the car with you that first night. And everything since, right up to our marriage was me doing what I want. So stop thinking whatever it is putting that frown on your face. I want you. That's all. You think I got a love for being an operator you're wrong. You think I want to leave you right now for my shitty job, you're wrong. You think I'm not so full of love for you right now, so full of love it's taking all I can do to go to work…all I can do…wrong again. You think I doubt you? I don't doubt you, Eddie. I…worship…you." Here came the tears again. She was going over the edge.

He grabbed her and pulled her close, walking them to the dresser so he could put the smoke down. Then he held her in earnest. "Calm down," he whispered. "I got it. I know." He stood there, arms around her, rocking her a little. Luckiest man. Lukiest chimpanzee who ever lived. Just a lucky Bugs Bunny fucker.

1111111111111111111111111111111111

They made it to the weekend, finally. Saturday morning Eddie was standing between Isbe's curvy little legs. She was seated on the kitchen counter wearing this little one piece thing that buttoned up the front, made out of this floaty stuff that he couldn't quite see through, and it was this dark orangey color and it was short in the leg, very short, and he could get to the honey from either leg as they were skirty and full, but it didn't quite unbutton all the way, and it was driving him crazy and he was telling her he could get in there if she'd co-operate, and she was telling him she could rip a phone book in half, and one had very little to do with the other but some of their conversations were that way.

They had the house to themselves, and Eddie had to admit, he was getting real used to this. They were alone, not counting the girls on the other side of the wall. Couldn't tell him their style wasn't cramped now they had to be together. Old Em was used to the run of Rose's place, and Baboon had spent plenty of time here sneaking around with Alice while Eddie had been upstairs sneaking around with Isbe. Now they were married…nearly a week…they weren't sneaking anymore. Except from her father and that was Charlie's fault cause Isbe didn't allow him over here. And Rose couldn't bear a uniform approaching the door anyway.

So those two twosomes from next-door were hard put to get some privacy. Rose had to put on the Saint Rose bit for the little flower Alice, pretending she wasn't giving it up to Gorilla and didn't know Little Bird was giving it up to Baboon, and Alice had to pretend she wasn't giving it up to Baboon and didn't know Rose was giving it up to Gorilla. He guessed they thought one another were having a pajama party in Hot Springs staying up late to paint one another's toenails. What an exhausting caper it was.

Eddie was glad for their misery. They didn't have the shit to get married, let them suffer. As for him, he was having the time of his life even if he was looking over his shoulder for Charlie.

All week long Eddie had hung around the house while Isbe was at work, the Ford parked out front like a challenge, a come and get me. Eddie had been in the trees looking for some new sign that his fucking father-in-law had been spying, but here's how it probably went, that moog probably had a neighbor doing his dirty work. Isbe probably didn't make a move her old man didn't know about. And here she'd been gone a week, so Eddie already figured that fucker would have called the phone company when she didn't show at church last Sunday and he'd of found out the three of them took time off and then he'd know she went on a little trip and it would drive him crazy, cause he'd probably know the Buick wasn't around either. And Charlie could call out some shit like they'd robbed a bank or something, but he wasn't going to do that to his daughter when things were hanging fragile. So he'd done nothing but wait for them to come home and now Eddie was here, in his house…waiting for him.

So he hung around every day, couple of hours, waiting to see if old Charlie would show, but he never did.

Besides that, Emmie was watching for Carl to show at Mel's. So far that Mick crook was still in, 'New York.' First day back Eddie rode over there with Em and Potato One came after them with a bat cause Em had clocked him and cleaned out his wallet before they all went to Hot Springs, but the two of them had charged Potato, dodging that bat but not completely, and slapped him around and it was all love now, revival meeting everytime they went, Potato just shouted Carl wasn't around and they should 'fook off,' and they'd hoot and laugh and make threats to pass along to Carl, and they wanted their money.

Next night there were more of them sitting or standing out front of Mel's, a whole potato patch. The monkeys were in full force with Jasper along. Even Orangutan. They had gone by the station to check that old Seth was walking the straight and narrow. So this particular Thursday night it was the monkey cage on wheels. They got a little liquored up, then they bought potatoes and Jacob drove and the three of them lobbed potatoes at those moogs sitting out front.

It was great, those fat fuckers scrambling.

Thing was, you went up against these older guys, they'd take a certain amount, liked to see the sass, the chip on the shoulder, but you went too far they'd bite. Now Em would have to give that dough back. Potato's dough, but he'd use the debt he owed Potato to make his point to Uncle Carl.

But these older guys, they'd bite hard to teach you a lesson, yeah sometimes they'd bite so hard they'd kill you. Whoops. And except for Emmie, tied to Carl in a particular way, Jasper and Eddie were garbage on the street.

But Eddie hadn't been around it other than yanking Potato's chain. He needed work. He was looking over the neighborhoods, checking out space for a shop maybe.

So the week went. Isbe finished work…Charlie didn't show…Carl didn't come home. And he had his first weekend in the house with Isbe, and all the fooling around that went on, he could write a book, but it would be too dirty so he could never write it anyway, but man oh man they were having the time of their lives.

They made love for hours. They took baths. The monkeys were over, other side of the house, and in the evenings they danced and went swimming and cooked out and played games, and laughed. And laughed. And drank a little, and a little more.

This was his heaven. She was. She was beautiful…and smart…as a whip.

It was so good…it was great.

Monday he took her back to Ma Bell, albeit reluctantly, but this was the last week, and he went home to cut the grass one last time cause fall weather was coming and it wasn't growing so quick now. He had just pulled the machine out of the shed when he heard a car pull up out front. He walked around the side of the house to better see the street and what do you know. Uncle Carl was getting out of the back seat, that moog Potato holding his door, and another vegetable getting out the driver's side. It was another Buick, black and shiny.

If Satan himself got out of that Buick, he couldn't be more surprised than he was now. Uncle Carl at Isbe's house? He didn't like this a bit.


	40. Chapter 40

Hard Hearted 40

Eddie had pushed the mower as he'd walked to where Carl waited on the sidewalk in front of Isbe's house. He'd really not been aware he'd cut a swath.

"Let me have a go," Carl said, tossing his smoke and approaching Eddie to take over. Eddie was slow to step back and allow this moog to what…cut Isbe's grass?

Carl took hold of the mower and pushed it along the sidewalk. He cut the whole front slice of Isbe's yard, then positioned the mower to cut the next row and he pushed it toward where Eddie and his thugs waited, grass flying with a pleasant whirr from the oiled blades Eddie had just sharpened.

"That's amazing," Carl said stopping to hand off the machine to Potato. "Keep going you barrel-bellied- mick."

Potato didn't look happy, but he took over and waddled after the mower while he cut another row. Eddie hated this but he kept quiet.

Carl was looking at the sticky grass on his wing tips and the cuffs of his suit pants. He shook one leg then the other. He was laughing when he looked at Eddie. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same."

"You first," Carl said folding his arms.

Seeing Eddie was slow to reply, Carl asked, "You related to Charlie?"

"No. Why?" Eddie folded his arms too, his eyes going from Potato's fat ass as he pushed the mower, a sweat stain building along the spine of his shirt, to Carl's other thug, William, who found Potato's act pretty funny, to Carl himself.

Carl unfolded his arms and reached inside his jacket pocket pulling out a thick fold of paper. "I've acquired this property," emphasis on 'acquired.'

Eddie's hand moved back toward the house. "This property?"

Like him, Carl didn't appear to like answering the obvious. Eddie reached for the documents but Carl was already tucking them back in to his pocket. Eddie fought the urge to grab those papers and punch Carl.

"I'm more than a little surprised to see you here. Word is there're some beautiful women living in this house. Now why do I have to see your ugly puss the minute I get here?"

"How'd you come by it?" Eddie said, pushing aside the thought of how incensed Isbe would be to know this turn of events. He had a couple of ideas on how this moog got his hands on things.

"Fair and square," Carl said readjusting his feet to a wider stance.

"How much is dat?" Eddie said. He kept telling himself to calm down, to pay attention.

"How much is what?" Carl was unwrapping a stick of gum and folding it into his mouth.

"How much do you want for it?"

Carl was laughing now, big hands. "I haven't even seen it yet."

"How much to take it off your hands?"

"Whoa, boy. What's your tie here?"

"I live here."

"You live here?" He looked to William, big grin, "I thought you were the lawn-boy."

Eddie stayed quiet, fixed on the answer to his question.

"You gonna buy it? You're scraping in back-alley fights and you got this kind of dough?" He turned to his crony, "William, where do you think a lad like this would get his hands on the dough it would take to buy this house?"

That dim-light's face split into a grin.

Carl went on, "You wouldn't be running your own game, would you? See, I got a question mark on you. And who says I want to sell this place? Man don't want to sell he generally quotes a number out of the park."

"You don't need it. It's too far away from the action downtown."

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I need? It's good property. Filled with tenants. Beautiful ones from what I hear. Glad to know these women are friendly."

"How much you let it go for? Give me a number." Eddie held onto himself. He hated repeating, but now, he repeated.

"You live here…better ask me inside, don't you think? After all…I own the place."

"It's occupied," Eddie said, not moving, the sun going behind the clouds and a delivery truck passing the house while its driver ground through the gears. He stared into Carl's eyes and someone was home, in there, but he wasn't alone. There was a whole host of characters in this man's soul.

"Right now? Those girls are home? My understanding, they're at work. But it's my lucky day if I can get a look." Carl said this to William, rubbing his hands together.

Eddie could imagine Charlie losing this place, but telling details about the girls?

"C'mon," Carl said walking past Eddie up the sidewalk that went to the front doors.

Eddie followed Carl who reached the door first, tried Rose's side and found it locked. No sooner had he taken his hand off the knob it was wrenched open. To Eddie's vast surprise Gorilla stood there in all his shirtless glory.

"What do you want?" Emmie said to Carl, then over Uncle's shoulder to Eddie, "What's this?" Back to Carl, "You come here, man? What? I hope you brought our money."

Eddie had no idea Em was here. The Buick wasn't…or didn't appear to be. Here he'd been ready to cut the grass and this moog was in the house probably lazing on his ass asleep and Eddie none the wiser. Couldn't say he wasn't happy to see him though.

"Whoa-ho!" Carl called out, looking back at Eddie. "Family reunion! This must be some fine pussy to bring you two this far out to the suburbs."

This was hardly the suburbs. Did Charlie keep them out of Carl's neighborhood? Yeah, he did, but it was still the city. As for the pussy comment, Eddie pushed that to the side for now.

"What in hell gives?" Emmie said to Carl.

"I'm the new landlord," Carl said.

Em had widened the door and Eddie saw his pants and belt were undone, surely just thrown on to get the door. Em slowly did up his pants and stepped onto the stoop. Carl was clearly interested in the specimen that was his nephew, and so would a few of the neighbors be. You didn't just see half-naked Gorilla out of the corner of your eye.

"Damn boy, what they feed you in that army?" Carl joked.

Em, never one to shy away from a compliment, made a muscle, and even though Eddie had seen every inch of Em more times than he wanted to remember, Gorilla made a damn impression.

"You boys working for Charlie?" Carl said, a little less friendly.

"Doing what?" Em said. "Only time I met Charlie was when he arrested me at the fight. Carted me off before you paid me my money."

"You took out my window with your potato throwing shit and caused trouble at Mel's. I don't need that kind of attention. I say we're even and I'll give you a pass this one time. You come around making trouble again I won't be so friendly." Carl readjusted his collar. "Now show me my house."

"Wait a minute," Em said, making the mistake of moving a hand toward his uncle. William was there soon enough and Em put his hand down. Potato left off pushing the mower. "You owed each of us a winner's purse. That's twelve thousand."

"Hazard of illegal gambling activity," Carl laughed, but not really. The hard glint never left his eyes. "Talk to your buddy Charlie if you want your money. The coppers took every dime."

"Not the purse they didn't," Em said.

"Where do you think the purse comes from? It comes from the winnings," Carl said. "You've got the Buick," Carl said mocking a friendliness Eddie knew he didn't feel. Then he swung his hand toward Eddie. "And this one took Lou's money. You boys had a big pay-out on yourselves and no kick-up."

Eddie didn't confirm or deny. They couldn't prove anything, but he was shocked they were all so connected, and why would he kick-up to Carl?

"Who fed you all this bullshit? Billy?" Em asked.

"We go back," Carl said with a shrug. "Hot Springs? I had twelve thousand burning a hole in my pocket that's where I'd head."

They had just seen Billy so Eddie knew the information wasn't beaten out of him.

"You think Billy throws in with guys he ain't checked out?" Carl directed this to Eddie.

"Does Jacob know this?" Eddie asked, because that would be worse somehow.

"Billy isn't a regular guy if that's what you mean. His mother was Irish but the father…I can't even pronounce it. Some damn Indian. Billy keeps what he does with his bookie, under his hat."

Eddie was still stung that Billy had kept his affiliations to himself. It felt like a double-cross. "That crap about Eddie taking Lou's money, that's bullshit. We find out the source of that crap…," Em punched his fist into his palm.

"I got no problem with a man who knows an opportunity when he sees one. Stan was in Charlie's pocket. Has a problem keeping it in his pants, and I mean that for real. Two counts of indecent exposure. All Charlie had to do was lean on him a little." Carl waved a finger too near Eddie's face, "Got in the henhouse on old Officer Swan…maybe on me. He was looking for that money, that s.o.b.. That was his bail-out…with me. See all the shit you caused?"

"That fucker has it for the horses bad. But," and Carl patted his pocket over the papers folded inside, "he's all paid up now. So how about you show me this place?"

Eddie already knew Carl owned Charlie. That was old news. "You ain't going in the houses," Eddie said.

Carl turned and looked at him, no humor in his eyes. "You got a death wish, kid?" he said.

William got closer to Eddie and he knew Potato was behind him.

"Uncle Carl, bad move. This house belongs to Eddie's wife," Emmie said.

"Wife?" Carl stared at Eddie, a red flush in his cheeks. "Charlie's daughter?"

"Yeah," Em said. Eddie just kept staring. He'd meant what he'd said. No one was going in.

"Oh shit," Carl broke out laughing. "Charlie know…about…wife?"

Eddie didn't answer, so Carl laughed harder.

"This is great. He's gonna kill you. He already says he is," Carl laughed, taking a white handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing his eyes. "I get it," he said. "But your wife don't own shit."

"How much for this place?" Eddie said, undeterred by Carl's harangue.

"Lad…lad..," he said all uncle-like. "Twenty thousand."

"Twenty…," Eddie repeated. Carl wanted this…the rage and the story for later…at Mel's.

Em said it aloud, "That's a shakedown, Carl. You know that's bullshit."

"Life is bullshit, buddy boy. Hasn't anyone told you?" Carl was laughing again. "He's lucky I don't say thirty."

"Sold," Eddie said. Carl looked at him, the smile dropping slowly off. "Sold," Eddie said again and stuck out his hand. "Twenty."

"You got that kind of money?" Carl asked.

"I'll get it," Eddie said pulling back his hand.

"Just a minute. You know how it is…work…comes up. I ask you to fight again…you fight."

Eddie stared for a minute. "I'll get the money. I like things nailed down."

"Nailed down?" Carl looked around at his friends, "We need to remember that. This mutt don't pay…he likes the nails."

They all laughed, except for him and Em. Eddie spoke over the noise, "Give me a couple of days. I'll get it together."

"It's too much," Em said.

"I tell you what," Carl said rocking back on his heels. "You bring me eighteen, I'll let you work off the rest. Got a job coming up," he added another stick of gum to the one already in his mouth. He stepped closer to Eddie, "Work shows up…you work. No questions…like before." He looked at Em and did his big smile, "For my nephew."

Eddie nodded.

"You'll never be in. That means you can be taken out…no questions."

Em groaned. "He's just shittin' you, man."

Now Carl spoke over Em, "You'll work for Em. He's up and coming," he beamed at his nephew.

"Nobody touches Eddie without answering to me," Em said, to all three of the listeners besides Eddie.

"A little soon to be making demands," Uncle warned Em.

"Not when it comes to this," Em said.

Carl laughed. "I say who goes and stays," Carl said, stepping closer to Em. "I say."

"Anything happens to Eddie, I take it the same as myself," Em said. "That's how it is."

When Carl stared at him, Em stared back. He was Gorilla now. King of the jungle. But he was looking at a lion…Carl…sick and twisted enough to give them a go. He was doing it now, stick up the ass, punishing Eddie for taking that dough without asking him, without giving it over. Eddie had to try not to laugh at the thought that he'd answer to this slimy moog in a hundred dollar suit. But here's how it was-the only feet he kissed were Isbe's. And that's why he'd pay the twenty. For Isbe.

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11

Eddie was parked on Washington Street waiting for his wife to come out of the phone company building, the biggest building to house a phone company in the world, but still his eyes were trained on that line of doors other operators were pouring from denoting the change in shifts.

Somewhere behind his Ford was Em's Buick. Gorilla was there to pick up Alice and Rose. They'd driven separate because Eddie was taking Isbe to dinner so they could be alone. Call him selfish for his wife's company, which he was, but they'd see the others later. They were meeting the monkeys and the girls at a bar to watch wrestling on the television set there.

His heart picked up the minute he saw Isbe exit and break away from the crowd. "Eddie," he saw her mouth as she waved, not even realizing he watched her in the mirror. He leaned over and opened the door and the first thing he saw was her high heeled foot leading to her nylon covered leg, slip peeking, skirt and knee, and then she was in, and he had his arms around her, hand on her leg sliding all the way up to her hip, then reaching in front to snap her garter a little. He was loving on her, going crazy in his mind, feeling it now, the betrayal that her old man would turn over that deed to pay his fucking debts, that he did that to her to punish…him. That Carl was anywhere near her…jacking the price to recoup the money Eddie took from Lou's. Didn't they know he knew how to push back? What did they think it was to be a soldier…with a cause…to live outside for two years…to be big enough and hard enough to last…to learn to listen and react…to hear things no one else would be able to pick out from the sounds around…to hear what was there…to learn to listen for what wasn't. These guys who had never gone…who started their little fires and hooted over their little victories…they had no idea who he was. What he could turn into…if awakened. And he was awake.

Swan was trying to punish her…for going to Hot Springs with Eddie…but letting the house go to Carl was for him…scorching the earth trying to burn Eddie. Well it would take more than this crap with the house. That was nothing. Wait until he found out about the marriage. He was sure Carl would break his neck to tell it. That's okay. He wasn't trying to hide the best thing that ever happened to him. At all.

"How you doing," she pulled back and asked after their heated greeting.

"I'm okay. How are you?" he said.

"What's the matter? You're sad…or mad or something," she traced over his jaw.

Hell all. How could she read him like that. "What? I'm not mad…. This is my face."

"No, something happened. What happened? You get turned down for a job? You've been looking? Oh Eddie, don't worry about it. They're hiring here. So many people wanted phones during the war…you know? Now…they're hiring, Eddie. It's good pay…and benefits. Or I can always…."

"No," he said, too stern. He hurt her a little, and damn it that wasn't what he meant. "Isbe…no. I'll find work. That's…mine to figure out."

She was looking at him, seeing too much, more than he intended to show that's for sure. "Hey…how about we eat at my old diner? Still the best cubesteak."

"Sure Eddie. I don't care," she said sitting back a little and looking at him. "I don't care." She toyed with his hair and ran her fingers through it. It's all he wanted…her.

"I love you," he told her right out.

She was back, kissing him again. Someone behind them beeped and they ignored it and kept kissing. She pulled back first…, "Maybe we should go home?" she asked and it had some mischief.

"We will…count on dat. Let's get some food." He took her hand, held it while he shifted which always made her laugh. They got dinner and he went back to talk to the cook and tell him about the dry up with the radios, like that guy hadn't figured it out. He was leaning on the counter and looked over to watch Isbe for a minute. She had her back to him, a barrette holding her thick hair. At first, he'd been ticked some he couldn't be the one to provide her a house. It was a shit attitude, and him being ornery and jealous too probably, but really, that house meant so much to her. Twenty G's was what you paid for a mansion somewhere, not a plain-Jane duplex on the edge of town. Carl was shit, staking a claim on what he'd stolen from Sal.

What was he willing to do for Isbe? Anything. He knew that. That house was her power…her mother and her victory. Even a rock-stupid punk like him knew that. And Carl held that? No. No way. That house…was priceless. He'd see she had it once and for all. Not her father. Not that bastard Carl, not even himself. He'd do whatever he had to, then lay that deed in her name, in her hands.

Period.

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Later that evening they were sitting at the bar watching wrestling through the smoke from a lot of cigarettes. The television set was propped high in the corner, well over the shelves of dark liquor bottles lit softly. Isbe was seated on the barstool and Eddie stood beside her, his arm around her waist, fingers tucked a little into the waistband of her skirt. She worked a Coca-cola and he had a long necked brown bottle, and he was smoking a cigarette. The yelling around them would swell to deafening then lessen to a soft boil. Em was arguing with Rose about whether or not these wrestling matches were fixed. Rose insisted they had to be cause no one could be that stupid, she said, as these two fat men rolling around in leotards, one of them wearing a black mask over his eyes and the other with hair as long as a woman's. "He's an Indian," Em defended. Gorilla was offended, trying to uphold the raw strength it took to get thrown around like that, and she was scoffing at his reasoning and they were going back and forth.

Other side of them Alice was on fire bouncing on the red cushioned stool because her guy, Johnny Death, was losing the match. Wrestling really got her going, well anything did. She was standing on the rungs making her a head taller than him and Baboon. She was yelling over the crowd, and Jasper was laughing, keeping hold of her so she didn't fall. He loved everything she did, even when no one else was loving it, Baboon was.

"He asks her all the time," Isbe was saying low, which was almost too low for Eddie to hear. She was talking right in his ear though, and he loved her that close.

"He never told me dat," Eddie said, meaning Em never told him he'd proposed to Rose.

"Maybe that's because she keeps turning him down," Isbe said.

First time he was hearing about Gorilla proposing to Rose. He'd done it more than once? Three times since they'd been home? No way, that moog.

"What about…," Eddie nodded his head Jasper's way. What else didn't he know?

"No. He says they're too young."

Eddie almost spit his beer over that. Yeah, Baboon was on the run. How long would Alice keep buying that? Long as it took to make a baby probably.

"But he's going to school on the G. I. Bill. She's talked him in to that," Isbe said.

Baboon and school? First he heard of it. Damn. "For what?"

"Architecture," she said.

"What?" Eddie looked at his friend all wrapped up in Alice at the moment. Architecture? Eddie knew he wanted to build things, but they weren't talking bird houses here.

Eddie took a drink of his beer then a drag on his smoke. He didn't like it…Baboon and school. No, good for him. Baboon…never a serious thought. Architecture? Why did it bother him…this? Cause damn. Damn it. An architect? And the G. I. Bill? He didn't want to think about all that bullshit. You used anything from the government and they owned you. He'd put in enough with those moogs. They'd taken enough of his hide.

When Isbe left to use the restroom, Eddie moved onto her stool and leaned over to talk to Baboon. "You goin' to school?"

He was laughing, holding on to Alice's little waist. "C'mon Johnny," she was yelling at the box up there.

Jasper was smiling big. He was clean shaven and his hair was pretty tamed under his hat. He didn't take it off inside around the ladies. Well he liked to push it, Jasper did. But he grinned at Eddie. "Guess so."

"You didn't say."

"I just…Isbe tell you?"

"Yeah. She just told me."

"It's a good deal. We risked our lives for it man…the money for school. I don't know. I bomb out it ain't my dime."

Alice was listening apparently. "You won't bomb out. I'll help," she said. What did she know about architecture?

Jasper just squeezed her, his cheek against the small of her back, hit hat rising a little as he grinned again at Eddie. This guy was so in love it was coming out of his eyeballs.

Eddie was looking at him. They were getting what you call it…domesticated. He wasn't sure he liked it. Mostly he was fucking embarrassed for all three of them. But as soon as Isbe was back on their stool his hand was on Isbe's ribs and he pulled her in close as he could.

She leaned in willingly and kissed him. "What?" she said.

He was looking at her. "You," he said.

But here's what he was thinking. Maybe he'd go to the phone company. Maybe he'd see what it was about.

"I'll look in to that job…at Ill Bell."

She smiled and he loved being the source of it. She started to drink his beer then, and he waved to the bartender for a glass and poured her some.

She chugged it pretty much. "If you got that job…why couldn't I stay on a little while too?" she said. "We could work together sometimes if our shifts lined up. We could lay aside some good money, Eddie."

She'd been thinking this out. And she was trying to fortify herself with the beer.

"I thought we talked about this," he said wiping some foam at the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

"We did. I'm just thinking if both of us worked before babies came…you know?"

What he wanted to do, had always done, was push. Push for his way. He'd yield if he didn't care, but with her, he cared. Maybe too much. Maybe caring too much made him too much like his old man. He didn't want that to show up…the old man. "Isbe…let me see first. Let me see what it's about."

"Sure Eddie. She lifted her glass and he stubbed his smoke in the ashtray and lifted his brown bottle and they clinked a little.

"To us, Eddie," she said, giving him a kiss.

"Us, baby." He drank from his, and she drained hers. Then they kissed again.

"What babies?" he said.

"You want kids," she said like it was a given.

He did. Someday. Right now, he wasn't inclined to share this woman. His woman.

"Sure."

The noise around them swelled again and he winced a little and she laughed. He still didn't like loud noises. He never would maybe.

"Eddie…what we do…getting yours together with mine…makes babies." She took another drink and wagged her eyebrows at him.

He laughed, his arm around her, pulling her in so he could kiss on her ear. He knew it drove her crazy and just her wagging her brows and mentioning their love life got him going.

"When we get home…over the rainbow, baby," he whispered.

She laughed, her hand on his cheek. "Hey Eddie…what about God? You believe in God?"

Right now, with her…yeah. Maybe he really did. He'd always known God was real. Always had. But he hadn't considered liking Him before. Now…if things went well…maybe they'd talk.

"Maybe," he said.

"Maybe?" she laughed. "Well who do you thank, Eddie?"

He was stuck a little. He thought he'd already blown her efforts to forgive her father to hell, and what he was sitting on with the house, he could do some real damage, but now she was taking him to the number one father of all the bastards running around claiming to be their own little gods of neighborhoods and stolen money and life and death, who was in, who got took out. He'd seen the worst…children, mothers, end of the line in any mess hall they'd put together, all across Europe, the begging, the pleading for leftovers, the empty coffee cans in their hands. Did God hold court in a big bar in the sky, were the cherubim were nothing more than Potato One, Potato Two with wings? He had no idea, but yeah, it got settled in Europe. He was up there. In spite of all of them, in spite of his old man…God was up there.

"I thank my lucky stars," he told her, because anything else he could say on it, on her, on anything, was just too damn big.

But he knew this, everything was connected, all of it, everyone, everything. The wounds you made…heaven or earth…everyone bled. There was no here or there. This unrelated to that. Cast your bread upon the waters…it will return. Everything came back. Everything…touched everything.


	41. Chapter 41

Love to you all.

Hard Hearted 41

Over the rainbow they went that night when they got home from the bar. They had their own wrestling match as Eddie chased her up the stairs and she got to her room and slammed the door, but he knew it didn't lock, but she was trying to hold it closed, and he burst through, and she yelled and ran, standing on the bed, him at the foot of it.

She was looking at him, a wild, wanting expression on her face, her mouth open, hands too hanging at her sides.

He waited on her for what, and her hands went to her blouse and she started to slowly unbutton, so he followed her lead and tore off his shirt.

Then she reached behind and unhooked her bra, and he tore his undershirt over his head.

Now this, her standing there, tits out, so beautiful and nasty in her skirt still…and she slowly reached and took out the barrette and her hair fell loose dark against her creamy skin, reaching her nipples but not hiding them, or anything, and she kicked off her shoes and undid the waist of her skirt and his hands were on his belt, his fly, all open now and she let her skirt and slip pool and kicked them aside, and he toed off his shoes then dropped his pants.

Her garters, underwear, nylons. She stopped now and he was looking, up and down the length of her…soft, curved, panting, lovely…oh…he was lucky. Son of a bitch, he was.

He reached for her, she was his. She was his. He pulled her close, she still stood, and his face nuzzled her soft stomach while his hands spanned her soft backside and his fingers met in the crack of her ass.

"Eddie," she whispered, her hands on his shoulders as she kneaded the strength there and he swelled up, inside, outside, he was strong, he was weak, he was hers.

Hands on the backs of her legs and he pulled them gently and she widened her feet, and he was bent over and he kissed her at the hot apex, all along it, thumbing the garters now. A hot kiss, and he breathed deep…for a few seconds. He unhooked and peeled until she was bare and he quickly peeled off his underwear and then it was as God intended, a man and his woman, no fig leaves, just skin and just them.

He went back to the hot center of her, the place only he could enter, and he looked at every part of her, how she was made, for him, so beautiful. Was there a God? Was she kidding? This couldn't be chance. None of this, the way they fit when she was on her back, on the edge of the bed and he was inside her, the way they moved, and the way she had opened slick and hot…to him…and loved him, body welcoming, soul opening, and that thing…oneness, was there a God? Was there…love? Oh God, there was love and he came into it, through her, went to pieces…there…and when he came down…came back…to this room, to her bed, he had mixed and merged with her a little more, he was new, a little more, he was reborn, a little more, a little more a man, her man, her…lover…broken and healed…by love.

11111111111111111111111

Isbe liked to dig around in Eddie's head. These questions she came up with, out of the blue. Like this morning as he'd gulped his coffee. Did he hate Christmas? Was it sad for him? Did his father let him decorate a tree? And speaking of fathers, was he ever going to visit his? Ei-yi-yi he had no fucking idea.

He was driving the girls to work. They'd been quiet this morning after the night drinking and watching the fights. Then for them two, him and Isbe, the world they were creating in their bedroom, living room, kitchen, bath…the world of exploration they created…. He had loved her up and down, up and down, back and front until one or two in the morning. He was still smiling, went to sleep smiling, woke up smiling, still smiling.

His love…her love…it had changed the sky, new, he saw the clouds now, the patterns, did people see what he did? Arches and porticoes, right there on the horizon, shadows of heaven, right there. Didn't anyone else see this? Why weren't they pulling off the road…to look and point and marvel? It…sky…life…was beautiful.

No wonder Isbe had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he'd had to rouse her when they reached the phone company. He soft-talked her awake, and the two in the back were giggling as they got out. So what?

For the first time ever, he'd parked and gone into Ill Bell with his wife. She wanted to show him where she'd worked all this time. He met her supervisor and saw her take her place in the long line of young women working the boards. Rose and Alice were there too. He wished Emmie and Jasper could see this.

He soon left and just like she explained he found the office on the first floor where he could inquire about applying for work. He was clean shaven and his hair was combed back respectably. Maybe Jasper had had an influence. Nah, maybe not. Eddie knew how to spruce up. There were some girls in the office coming around to look at him, to smile. He had no idea what they saw. He was a man. Sheesh. Married at that and one woman in his eye, just one.

He filled out the paperwork. If he got hired, he'd have to go to school…some training, and that would be ongoing. Well if Baboon could sign up for something like Architecture…well why not? He was as smart as that ape.

He wasn't stupid. He hoped he wasn't. No fuck that head ducking, he knew he wasn't. If these other moogs filling out these papers could do this, he certainly could. That's what he'd learned in the army. He could hold his own, and everybody put their pants on the same way.

He'd been a good soldier. He'd been told that enough. Actually, he excelled. But even still, he didn't step up, take promotions. He didn't want it…singled out. He felt like…it was giving himself away…giving someone a right to step a little further up his ass. He liked to stay on the edge.

It was a miracle someone like him ever got married. That Jasper saying they were too young. That was an excuse. He was twenty-four, like Eddie. That wasn't young. They'd lived a lifetime. Alice now…but women were different. They knew stuff about being together. It came natural. At least to Isbe. And Alice…she had more to her than showed right off. Getting Baboon in school…hats off to that little bird.

So he filled out the papers, careful, his handwriting good, him always proud of that. He handed them in and the girl there told him when to come in for the test. So he left there feeling better, like he would figure it out…the future.

He was walking down the street after that. He had a destination, the office of Veteran Affairs. He wanted to see, to look in to things, like a loan for a house, Isbe's house, and what it took. He had some money still, but not enough. But Jasper had said what he'd said before, when they took the allotment for reorientation into society. That made him smile. Like a convict getting out of jail, figuring how to get back in. Not that he'd ever been in…the middle…except for the army. And without Isbe, he didn't think he'd have found his way…back in, or had the desire…to re-enter. But now it was just a means to an end. He'd need a job to get a loan. He'd need a loan to get the house. He'd work above board, and he'd work a little in life's basement. Whatever it took…the means…to the end…whatever it took.

He saw that cop car cruise past, and he watched it corner of his eye. It slowed, but it kept going. It wasn't him. He didn't think so. But it was coming, today, tomorrow…he'd fight the dragon. But he already had the prize.


	42. Chapter 42

Hard Hearted 42

"Say you love me…love me," they were connected, physically, he was moving, sweat on his forehead, his back, muscles in his arms straining, he was asking, urgently, that she say she love him.

"I…do. I…do," she answered, her heated eyes not leaving his, her face flush, hair stuck on her forehead, mouth open and lips so red.

"Say it…say it…you love me," through his teeth, oh God he couldn't last much longer.

"I love…I love…you…," she answered, then she thrashed her head side to side and made a sound, and her back arched a little, her breasts…oh God.

"I love you," he said, his body flowing into hers, his words too, for they had been the heart taking over his voice, his mouth, the most heartfelt words he'd ever spoken.

When it was over, he wanted to fall next to her, but he lowered himself and kissed her softly. "Good?"

"Oh yeah," she said, her reddened lips in a wide smile.

God.

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He took the test at Il Bell. He'd been nervous, school, it had been a while. He was troubled in school, didn't know how well he could do beyond primary grades where he'd loved the teachers, the attention, all women, they were kind, they smelled great…and they seemed to pity him or something, but either way it was attention, and he didn't have a mother, and he remembered being taken to the sink, quite often, one of them wiping his face, combing his hair, sometimes bringing scissors and trimming his hair, always thick, always wild…like that thing inside him.

And clothes, they'd brought him clothes, never new, but he didn't expect that, they were new to him, and no one had much, not really. The one or two that did made fun sometimes, but he didn't care. He was always strong, he could always hit, but it made his teachers sad, his mothers, so he just took it, quiet, and he learned to be angry mostly, but he already knew he had to see everything, hear everything.

And food, they made sure he had something to eat, sandwiches cut in triangles, and baloney with bright yellow mustard. It was too pretty to eat, but he did eat, they had to slow him down sometimes. They'd bring him one, they didn't know, he could eat three. He could.

Slow down. He'd heard that a lot. Slow down. But he was greedy…for life. And moving. He wanted to move and move. But Isbe…he'd grabbed on. He was staying now.

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He liked the work. Since the war ended, everyone and his uncle wanted a phone installed in their home. Eddie caught on to things quickly and they seemed to think he had it…whatever they looked for. The money was good, and Isbe's house, being a duplex, appraised at seven thousand dollars, then Em got ahold of the guy and for one hundred dollars the appraisal jumped to fifteen. Shit, he could get a guy's knee caps broke anywhere in Chicago for twenty, or do it himself for free. But Gorilla paid the bribe like a real gentleman thug. A late wedding present he said.

So Eddie's loan, with the job and his time in the service, it was chugging through the process. He'd already gone to Mel's and worked it out with Carl. He gave five thousand down which left him close to broke. "I need some more time for the rest," he said.

"What? You gonna pull another job I ain't giving the go on? I ain't a charity…I ain't a bank. But I can be…a bank. Sounds to me like you need a loan."

Eddie had gotten a paper signed and notarized as receipt for the five grand but Carl wouldn't sign it. Back and forth they went. Carl said, "What…you don't trust me?"

"This is so I can keep trusting you," Eddie said, and Carl liked that and signed but Eddie didn't trust this fucker, he'd already had that lesson on trust.

Eddie showed Carl the rest of the money pending the loan. "You can thank me for Freddie. Em came in here wanting to know something…real touching you two girls standing up for each other. I told him about Freddie. I see you got it…the fifteen."

All roads led to Carl. He'd remember that.

So Uncle read the application and tossed it back on the table between them. "Alright. You let me know when we close."

Carl folded his hands against his waist. He sucked his teeth and pushed a thousand back at Eddie.

"What for?" Eddie asked staring at the dough.

"Couple of things coming up."

Eddie stared at the money. He picked it back up. "Long as this squares things," he'd said.

Carl nodded.

Then they shook hands. He could detect no hard labor on Carl's fingers and palm. But the hand he stuck in his pocket after…it had a feeling he knew wouldn't wash off.

The way Eddie saw it, he would rather be in debt to Uncle Sam than the Irish mob, even a punk like Carl. He'd take the fucking government over that, and these low lives connected to Isbe? He hated Charlie for that, putting her in harm's way. He'd never forgive or forget…that and that's why he agreed to this highway robbery on the price…he wasn't just buying a house, he was buying Isbe's freedom for any kind of fucking problem between Charlie and Carl. He was buying Isbe out of the mix. He was making it clear she was his now and Charlie Swan had nothing more to do with it. An extra thirteen grand, most of the loan from the government he'd earned the right to by trouncing over Europe for two years…it was cheap. So that's what he was doing. His acceptance of the price was him acknowledging the threat. Carl had been clear. Clear as glass, clear. He'd shown up there…at her house.

So a month later he was well on the job and he was off his shift, waiting for Isbe to finish. She'd talked him in to letting her work a little longer. She didn't have to, but she wanted to. So that's what he did, anything to make her happy. He loved her that much, not just a deep down feeling that was in a place where there had been nothing before, but in what he did, every day. He tried to show her. That's all…back up the words he couldn't stop saying, especially during their sex…oh God their sex. It always felt new…well it was new…but he wondered if he'd ever get used to it…he never would. He loved being married.

He was leaning against the building, waiting there at the main doors on Washington when Em pulled up. He was there for Rose most nights. Eddie took the toothpick out of his mouth and walked to the car.

The Buick had a shiny coat of wax cause Em about rubbed the paint off it every Sunday as he parked it in front of Rose's pad and talked her ear off while he waxed it with the dedication of a lover. But now Gorilla was leaning, looking at him through the passenger's window.

"What?" Eddie said looking in, but he knew soon as he saw Em's face…the what.

"Get in," Em said.

"I can't. I got my car…the girls…." Em knew this.

"Take them home and drive over to my house and don't fuck around."

"What?" He didn't fuck around.

"We got some work."

"I just got off work." But he knew what Em meant.

Eddie straightened and knocked a couple times on Em's door and he pulled off.

Isbe called to him and he turned around. There she was, his girl. She hurried to him. They were celebrities around here. Some of the girls clapped when they kissed. It embarrassed him, but Isbe ate it up. She gave him an extra long hug.

The other two had come out. Rose told them to go on, Emmie was coming.

"He's not," Eddie said. "You ride with us."

On the ride Isbe scooted close to him. "Why so quiet?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm driving here." Why would he try to get a word in with the hen party? They'd talk non-stop, those three, all the way home. They never ran out of things to say cause they had some kind of comment on every little thing.

"Somebody's grumpy," Rose said from the backseat.

"He needs his supper," Alice pretended to whisper to Rose, but yeah it was for him.

Isbe cooed in his ear, "Does Eddie need his supper?"

He smirked a little and gave her a look, good and dirty. She knew what he needed.

"Eddie, Weddie," Alice echoed, and the girls all laughed.

He couldn't help but smile, even though the work from Carl had come.


	43. Chapter 43

Hard Hearted 43

A body in the trunk. Eddie gazed down upon it since Em popped the Buick's shiny lid. They were in the sticks again and the early fall sun was setting like a heavy tombstone bitch way across the trees.

"Get him out," Eddie said all business now. He got his hands under the sheet of canvas that shrouded the stinking carcass of a man.

"I had a fuckin' time getting him in here," Em grunted some lifting the corners of the canvas Stan's rotten remains were curled upon. He was beaten and naked. He must have been stiff time Em loaded him. He was oddly folded in the middle.

"I know this guy," Eddie said. He knew it was Stan because of the big liver spot side of his neck. It still showed, with the bruising and lividity and the cuts and burns and holes and stink, it was him sure as shit.

Em got his end and they carried Stan further in to the woods. He was naked, obviously tortured. He was at the happy hunting grounds, that's for sure. Eddie wondered what happened to him, didn't really want to know.

"We undertakers now?" Eddie asked.

Em didn't answer.

They took Stan pretty far in and dropped him without reverence.

"I'll get the ax," Em said going back to the Buick.

Eddie threw more of the canvas over Stan's face. He looked some at the body but crap, not this, dick cut off, balls too. He remembered Carl said Stan had that problem showing Winkie in the wrong place, wrong time.

He walked away a little and lit a smoke. It helped with the smell, and the fresh air, but not enough. He pocketed the match, and he'd take the butt with him. He'd seen worse than this, so much worse and so much more, open mass graves, he'd looked in, let the smell pull him, he had to look, he had to understand…but there was no understanding. It was just that way…something so evil unleashed…if you'd doubted God, couldn't find Him, said He wasn't…to subtle…too far away…well the devil wasn't as shy. The devil, when he moved, you didn't wonder…didn't doubt. You didn't say a thing. You couldn't find words. But you believed. Oh yes. Oh hell yes you knew exactly who it was.

It's what settled him with God. He said, okay. You must be. You must…be. And if you're not…we're fucked. We're fucked because this…is real. So you…are too. Cause if this…brutality…was all there was…there could be no beauty. There could be no love. There could be no blue in the sky or green in the earth. Isbe couldn't exist. Love couldn't exist. If there wasn't something else, something other than what he'd seen in the living…and God, God…in the dead…the world would disintegrate in hate. In agony. In weeping and gnashing of teeth….

And she'd asked…if he believed…and all he could get out…pretty much…was yes.

Em returned, a good Boy Scout, flashlights and all, ax and shovel, small can of gas. Eddie knew about Scouts cause some good soul…had tried. He'd made it through one camp-out before the old man put the hammer to it. But he knew what a Boy Scout was. Maybe that got him ready for the army. Maybe not. Nah. It was the old man that did him the biggest favor. The old man taught him about hate long before Europe. Maybe, when he looked into those graves, it helped to already know a demon.

But Em, loaded now with the proper tools for dismantling a body, had come a long way since that first guy they'd put in the cistern.

They got busy. Head and hands, that was the thing, but that mark on the neck, Eddie wanted the dismemberment to go to the shoulders. He took over to get it just right.

"You kill him?" Eddie asked. He didn't want to know, but then he'd said it, he'd asked.

"Why?"

"Oh…it like dat? You mob now…one of the boys?"

Em took the ax back and finished chopping off the hands. There was no jewelry. No pockets…of course.

"You do this?" Eddie said again. He knew Em was getting in deep with those guys.

Em laid the hands by the head. He was panting a bit, and he looked at Eddie and grinned. "Rose won't marry me."

"You blame her?" Eddie said.

Em pulled the body off the tarp and positioned it and brought the ax down nearly severing an arm.

Eddie made a noise, an ooh. Then he laughed. "You Nazi."

"Fuck you," Em said, but he was laughing too. He chopped that arm at the joint and said, "Just like chicken," and Eddie hooted.

Stan's remains were soon neatly dissected into sections. "You got your roast, your rump, your wings," Em said, throwing a piece of the arm on the pile.

Eddie started to dig, then Emmie, then Eddie again. The ground was heavy and damp and it took more than an hour and it was dark as fuck when they took the corners of the tarp and dropped the whole thing in. They doused those parts with the gas, threw in a match and, "Barbeque time," Em said.

Last thing was the head. Eddie broke the teeth out of the mouth with the back of the ax and he threw that in and more gasoline and let the fire devour…it. When everything was blackened and ashy they shoveled the dirt over then moved debris by the light of the moon, two monkeys scraping in the woods.

Ride home they were quiet. "What I gonna tell Isbe?" Eddie said aloud, though he'd only meant to think it.

They smelled like smoke and he'd gotten dirty. He didn't think there was blood. Stains maybe.

"You said we went fishing?"

"I said you were looking at some property. Maybe for a clubhouse."

"Yeah? That's a good idea? Rose hear that?"

"You think she might marry you if you buy a clubhouse?" Eddie laughed.

Em shook his head. "We can't just live together. She wouldn't do that either, and people wouldn't put up with it most places…a man and woman not married…sharing the bed. Who does that?"

"So what…you sneak around…you practically live there now. That bribe wasn't no wedding present, that was rent," Eddie said.

"Rosie pays the rent. Guess you know what a little nest egg your wife has."

"My wife?" Eddie said. He only kept things from her for her own good. But the thought she'd keep something from him…he didn't like that at all.

"There another married guy in here? Stan maybe? Oh wait…we buried him."

"What he do to get it? You off him? His dick? Who did that?"

Em looked over. He wasn't talking.

"Fucker," Eddie said.

"It's for your own good," Em said.

"Don't give me that mob shit. You guys are worse than women you get a couple beers."

"Not about the real shit," Em defended under his breath as they hit a pot-hole. It reminded Eddie of the half-track, and some of the roads over there.

"So what…this the way you're gonna go? Carl…you can't bring Rose into dat."

"Rose…ain't ever gonna be in that. Carl didn't know Rose lived in Charlie's house. Charlie never mixed it up."

"Isbe never. She only meets that moog at church. Not anymore. Not since he said he wanted to kill me."

"You tell her that?"

"Yeah. Just that though. She don't need to hear it. She gets…."

"Carl ain't coming around our women."

Eddie looked at Em. "You think I want dat? I'd kill him myself."

"You would? You'd kill that fucker?"

"What do you think? Only reason he ain't dead now…is you. But I won't put even you over Isbe. He gives me any reason to doubt…even a hint…."

"Yeah?"

"You doubt it?"

"No. I can't believe you've submitted."

Eddie shrugged. "It makes sense."

"I need your help…take him out…."

"Carl?"

"Who the hell we talkin' about…Stan again?"

"Fuck you."

"No…fuck you. And I'm asking this and we won't talk about it no more. Would you? Take him out? With me?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm asking a question. I'm asking."

"I didn't hear. Fuck dat."

"You heard. And the time comes…I'm asking."

"I can't hear," Eddie repeated, looking out his window, at the headlights cutting along the dark, thick trees.


	44. Chapter 44

Hard Hearted 44

"Eddie…you been up to something."

"Why you say that when you're asleep?"

"I was asleep. Until I heard the water running."

"I needed to wash up."

"Eddie," Isbe sat up, the moonlight streaming in the window, the shade left up even after all the times he'd told her about it, that moonlight, eerie as fuck when in the woods burying a dead body, now most alluring as it bathed her in its deep midnight blue.

She was looking him over. He didn't want to interrupt, but, "That my favorite nightgown," he said as he dropped his towel and decided he'd sleep bare, "to take off?"

It was the one that came off easy.

"Come 'ere," he said moving under the covers and pulling her down to lie in his arms.

"Eddie you're not going to…side-track me. You've been up to something, I can feel it, I can hear it in your voice. You're…excited."

"I'm always excited around you baby," he said, going in for a kiss.

She did kiss him, but he knew she'd need to talk a little and he pulled back, "It was a quiet night."

He was moving his hand over her stomach, rubbing on her, and lower.

"What did you do?"

"Went for a ride. He…he told me what you said. Rose won't marry him."

Her eyes were big and dark and they wanted to trust him. That was the best. They wanted to so they would. "Does he know why?"

His hand stilled. "Do you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you?" he repeated tugging on this thick braid of hers.

"Some of it is Rose. He'd have to help her…be persuasive. But mostly…Rose says Em…well ever since that first night. Rose says she's not marrying…a gangster."

Eddie laughed. "What? Em's no…." He let it go. He couldn't quite say it. Em was wanting to make a play. Eddie knew it was power. Em saw himself going in…and he was figuring how…who.

"Hey…I been with that moog all night. How about we talk about us."

She made a little sound and he felt her cozy up more. She told him everything she'd done while he was gone.

Then she asked, "See any beautiful women today?"

"Yes," he said. "Soon as I opened my eyes this morning."

She swatted his chest, then just as quick moved her hand over where she'd hit. She did this a lot, moved her hands over him. "Any beautiful houses then?"

He didn't think she was really worried about him being in so many homes. She shouldn't be. It wasn't that he wasn't looking, but he couldn't really tell her why.

He was seeing normal. And it was an education, that's for sure. He was seeing how it was done…families. It was amazing what you could pick up, a quick glance into someone's home. Sure guys told stories…the lonely willing housewife.

But for him…he'd been shut out of…normal, and now, he got these pictures. That's all he ever needed. He learned best that way. Just a picture of people and their lives, mothers, fathers, kids. What Isbe had set up here…well it sounded dumb…but it was on the spot. Isbe and him…they could do this…marriage…family. He was seeing it everyday. They were doing it. That's all.

In the course of thinking all this she'd ended up on top of him. He was impatient with the gown. He had his way they'd just sleep raw every night. Why not? They usually got there. He got that gown off easy, threw it on the floor.

"Now this…," he said letting his hands smooth up and down her back, that plumpy ass without the underwear. He loved this and he showed it by the way he kissed her.

She'd been waiting. She'd been waiting for him, for this. That's all it was. She didn't want him gone too long…too far away. He reached around the backs of her thighs and he already knew she was ready. He felt it on his stomach.

He pushed her up a little so he could break the kiss, "I want it on me, all over me," he said to her.

"What?"

But he didn't have to explain. She was small and he was strong, and he got her sitting up and pulled her legs forward and she was a bright girl, catching on quick. She dragged her center from his chest, all the way down, slow, he wanted it on him, everywhere, and she reached his willing dick he said, "Yeah," and she moved back slow and he got encased in that hot little, tight little, pink self of hers, and his hips rose and she adjusted her legs so she could bounce on him, and her breasts jiggling, her mouth open, he grabbed her braid, twisted it in his hand as he laid her down and got on top and pumped into her, moving his mouth on hers then lifting to breathe, and she screamed. He laughed a little…not much…cause he knew that scream had to carry…then he blew up, let go, and God, God, God.

Hell of a thing to crash beside her and think of Stan's dick…gone.

He laughed a little and they were wrapping themselves close as they could get.

"Eddie…just when I think it can't be better…."

He squeezed her and kissed her.

"Is it like this for the others? Is it like this for anybody?" she mumbled.

He stroked her back. She wanted the covers, but he was hot enough they'd only stick. So he did like always and just pulled the sheet, covering her only. He settled back then, and he felt the give in her, the soft, sated heart of her.

And he was this odd thing inside. He was…satisfied. He didn't ache. He didn't ache anymore.


	45. Chapter 45

This story is in The Lemonade Stand contest which remains open for a couple more days. You may vote for it and other entries that look interesting and imaginative and strike your fancy. It is a…stimulating site (The Lemonade Stand) full of life and some cool challenges. Thanks to the ladies there who have encouraged me greatly, to you who read, to those who read and review. Hands folded, ankles touching, deep bow. Love.

Hard Hearted 45

Thing of it was, he was happy. He had a buoyant personality for all the shit he'd been through, but around Gorilla, around Baboon, he'd often seemed downright serious. But he wasn't. He just got quiet when there was someone…two someones…like the monkeys.

Baboon…now he was getting serious, the books out on Rose's kitchen table. Alice was like his…what you call it…tutor or something. But you could already see it happening, Baboon knowing more than that little bird did. Baboon was smart. It had kicked in…the smart. He was somewhat…terrified? Yeah, he looked scared, sounded scared. He was scared. In the army, he sometimes walked reconnaissance, out there alone…for weeks.

That job had a life expectancy of two weeks. Baboon had come home like him, like Em…not a scratch. Hell, Eddie had garnered a hundred times more injuries living with his father than any time in the service. Not counting the time that Model-T Ford ran over him when he was a kid, fourteen, and they'd carried him in a nearby house and laid him on someone's kitchen table, broken ribs, broken arm, leg. He thought he was going to die. But he never did. Not once.

Those crutches…fastest kid on crutches that was him. You couldn't keep him down. Nothing could.

He wanted to live.

Gorilla…now he was the one to watch. Eddie knew…maybe Rose did too, maybe she knew more even…Emmie was planning something big.

They'd be close, Gorilla and Rose, Gorilla talking up close in her face, soft talking, and her looking at him, long looks, then she'd respond, rat-a-tat-tat, she'd say, these full lips she had being pouty. Sometimes she'd go in another room and Em would follow her. Oh…Em wanted Rose. Eddie had never seen him like this, any of them like this. These girls, that night at the movies, who knew, that little bird hopping over the seat, dropping next to him, who could guess what was coming…all three of them…who could guess.

They'd had supper with the others but they soon said goodnight cause Baboon was at the books and Alice had her nose in them too, and Em and Rose had disappeared…endless…endless, and Isbe gathered the dishes and he took what she told him too, and next door they went.

"Bunch of fucking nutcases," he said, and she looked at him, a little smile, but Sunday School face or something. He was trying to cut down on the fucks, well no, not at all, but the word, just the word.

"What?" he said cause sometimes she bought it…the innocent bit…the 'I'm just a man.'

He grabbed an apple from the bowl and took a big crunch, watching her scuttle around putting food away, gathering the dirty dishes into the sink. She started to wash and he put the core in the little can, not the big one, cause you put the garbage in with the regular trash you might as well shit on her clean floor while you're at it, cause she had rules, little rules about little things that could get huge real fast.

He liked to distract her when her hands were in the soapy water.

"You could help, you know," she said while she washed the plates, but he felt her heart pick-up, and her breathing.

"I am," he said dropping to his knees.

"Eddie," she said shaky.

"What?" he said, hands sliding up her legs.

"I…," then she gripped the sink.

"Keep washing," he said, innocent. "I'll just be a minute," like he was checking under the hood, but he was under her dress, his hands were, and he was looking up at her, that's what he wanted, her eyes.

Top of her legs, then one hand sneaking in from the back, the other from the front, his long fingers meeting in the midway between her sweet thighs, so he had everything covered.

"Oh…," she was saying, no attempt to wash at all now, just holding to that rim and her head dropped, and her eyes closed, but he wanted to watch her face.

"I'm right here, front and back doors covered, boss," he said in this voice and she bit her lip and smiled a little.

"You're goin' to hell," he sang a little letting his fingers creep inside her underwear. He didn't know, he almost preferred this sometimes, certain mood, underwear on and moving them to the side, something about that so perfectly nasty, so perfect.

"Eddie," she tried to rebuke him or something, but no more talking, he made a sling of his hands, a hand-hammock between her legs and she was taking a ride, swinging along on a Sunday afternoon, only it was a Tuesday night.

He stood up, kept his hands right where they were, moved his fingers, into the openings, front and back, shy in the back, like a new neighbor, but in front, family all the way, all the way in.

"Eddie," she said again, her two hands gripping white on the sink.

"That's my name," he sang a little, moving his fingers…well…and practiced….

"Eddie…Eddie…Eddie," she chanted. He liked that. He liked this.

Then she screamed, "Ed-deeeeee."

He started to slow down, perfectly, like hitting the brakes and bringing the car…to a halt…so well…so timed…the coffee didn't spill…on your leg.

She was weak, and her knees buckled and he brought his hands to her waist and he took her to the floor, let her drop onto his lap, his rag baby. He sat with his back against the bottom of the sink cabinet, holding her against him, she was limp and sweet. "How's dat?" he asked her soft.

She did a little laugh and moved her head enough to look at him. "You think they heard?"

Yeah, he did. Baboon at the table, he probably had little bird under that same table about now.

"Nah," he lied.

She laughed a tiny sad sound. "Liar."

Now he laughed. He kissed her. "It's alright. Next time you'll be louder…and they'll wish this time was back."

And that's when he took her on the little rug in front of the sink, with the cherries on it. He took her there, a quick one, a slam-bam. He took her there and he was right, she came so hard and screamed his name so loud it made that first time practically a whisper.

"Where'd you learn this stuff?" she asked him, pretzeled with him on the kitchen floor in front of the sink.

"Good imagination," he said. "You inspire me."

She liked that, and she wiggled and giggled, and she got on top and over, ended up putting her weight on his wrists nose two inches from his. She had this face, trying to look fierce, and he could see the smile breaking through, and he laughed out loud cause she was just so cute.

She laughed too. "Can you imagine…."

She didn't get to finish cause someone was at the front door leaning on the bell.

They looked at one another. Then she sprang to life getting off of him, tucking her blouse, smoothing her hair looking for that other shoe.

His pants were around his ankles and his underwear were down there so deep he thought they were his socks.

He told her to wait, he'd get it.

She was trying to reach high enough to pat his hair while he did up his pants. He pushed his hair back, two hands and pulled the door, her behind him,

It was Em.

"What the hell?" he said. "What you doing? I just saw you."

"Ah, Eddie…I need you a minute…a…a fucking job…sorry Isbe," he kept trying to look at Isbe, like everything he was saying was for her.

There was a lot Eddie could say, like, "Now? A fucking job now?" But he didn't say that. Instead, he turned to his wife and said, "Baby, I'll be back. Go on, I'll take my key."

He could see she was going to complicate it, as if it wasn't already fucked up.

He said to Em, "I'll be right there," and he shut the door in his face.

"Let's see…I gotta…," he pointed upstairs. He had to piss, but he wasn't enough of a disgusting fucker to say it so he went on up and left her standing there. When he got in the bathroom and shoved the door, he turned on the water and leaned at the sink. He wanted to get in bed with Isbe and sleep. He was tired as hell after the long day, and he had so little time with her. He didn't want to handle some rotten stinking fucker tonight. Em could do this without him. He was the one hoping to be a gangster when he grew up. Eddie already had a job.

He was angry and he took the bar of Lifebuoy and sniffed his hand, one and the other. He hated to wash her off, but he did. This was his. Just his.

He heard her come up and reach the bathroom. Then she backtracked and went in their room and slammed the door enough he got the message. He knew everything she thought, everything she'd say. He didn't need it…the pressure. Not from her.

She wouldn't understand. He hadn't taken the thousand cause he needed the money. He did, but not enough to take it from a crook like Carl. He'd taken it to show he was dirty. He didn't think he was better. He took it to keep the peace. He took it because of Em. He knew…Em was involved. What, Em didn't think Eddie had noticed how he'd kept working for Carl all along? That he wasn't making other plans? He took the money to stay close. He didn't know if Emmie was thinking it out. He didn't feel ready to leave it…to leave Em. He wasn't sure. He didn't know. So he took the dough.

And he took the dough to leave the window open, to maybe make some bigger money.

He took the dough…to get Charlie. That's what his gut said. His gut said to go with Carl and he'd get Charlie. He wanted to get Charlie.

He didn't know. It was a feeling.

So he didn't go to their room and smooth it with her. He'd do that later. He didn't want to leave with things off, he almost couldn't. But he wanted to get this done so he could get back where he belonged…in bed with Isbe.

Outside, Em was still on the porch. He paced and smoked a cigarette.

"Where's Baboon?" Eddie said.

"Inside with Alice," Em said, pale and tight in the face. Not like him at all.

Em took off for the Buick and Eddie followed.

"What did you tell her?" Em said.

"Nothing." He dug for a smoke.

"You should have said something…we were going for a drink."

"You're the one said it right in front of her."

"I didn't see her until you moved. I didn't know she was back there."

Eddie lit that fag and breathed in deep and let it out slow. "Where we going?"

They got in and Em drove around the block, pulling up alongside the woods behind Isbe's house.

Eddie didn't want to complain, but he was not in the mood for this.

"Eddie…," Em killed the engine and the lights, "I got to tell you…you need some preparation on this one brother."

Eddie was quickly out of the car. He went to the trunk. "Get it open," he said as Em met him there.

Em looked around, then fumbled for the keys. He shot Eddie a quick look before popping the lock and raising the lid.

Eddie looked inside and there…well fuck a duck and rip off its head and stomp the whole thing into a paste and eat it on a cracker.

And then that dead man moved.


	46. Chapter 46

Thanks to all who voted for this little ditty at The Lemonade Stand.

Thanks for reading.

Hard Hearted 46

It was the hand that moved, the fingers.

Eddie was still staring when Emmie slowly closed the trunk. Click.

That threw Eddie a little. He wasn't sure if they should try to move this bloody fucker to the back seat, but doing so might hasten the reaper.

"When?" Eddie said to Em.

"When…wh…what you mean, when?" Em stammered.

"When?" Eddie repeated, looking at Gorilla and feeing bigger…bigger…first time in his life, bigger than Em.

That one—Em, took a shallow breath. Was he worried? No…no he was…eager. Like he had a prize.

"What…you gonna kick up your heels?" Eddie said.

Em laughed a little. "I was…in Rose's room…heard a car pull up in front, never shut off, pulled away, went to look…had a feeling and…I went out there…checked the trunk…and…" he rapped his knuckles on the trunk.

Eddie pointed a finger, he was so thrown by all this he could barely keep his hand still. "You…brought it to the house. You."

"Me." Gorilla wasn't swallowing that without a fight, Eddie knew. So he didn't hang around, he was already getting in the Buick.

Eddie followed just as quickly, two doors slammed and a second of pissed off silence. "Drive it. Move." Eddie said. They needed to get this broken fucker somewhere.

"Get off my can, I'm going," Em said.

"You got all the answers…Gangster." He spat this pretty much cause he didn't know how this came back to Isbe.

"Get out then," Emmie said slamming the brakes, jerking them around.

"Fuck you." They could fight now, really go at it. It had been coming…it had. Eddie didn't know until now.

"Go home. I don't need you," Em said.

"Drive fucker," Eddie again.

A little stare off.

Em cracked a smile. "How fucked is this?"

Eddie let out a breath, dug for a smoke.

Em pulled off, too loud and fast, laughing like a monkey fiend.

"You're gonna kill him. Shit!" Eddie yelled.

Then just that quick out of nowhere, that old urge…laughter…this moog dying in the trunk. Eddie had to rub over his mouth to keep the laugh off cause it was fucking horrible to ride around with your father-in-law dying in the trunk of your car. That's what.

"Should I take him…where should I take him?" Then Emmie answered his own question, "Billy's."

"Why would he want that?" Eddie said. Why would anyone want this and all its tracks and stains. Why?

Em drove for a minute, silent, reckless in Eddie's opinion. They didn't need pulled over.

"He'll go along. I been throwing Jacob some action."

"You and Jacob?"

"Little things. He's top drawer."

"Oh…fucking top drawer? Yeah…it's all top drawer for Carl, Em. Like this. Top fucking drawer."

"I don't want anyone messing this up, cause this is beautiful for me," Em said.

"You're fucked in your mind, you know dat?"

"No baby, this copper lives through this it's a rainbow…a sign."

"You gettin' religious?"

"I am if Swan lives."

"You got a woodie for my wife's old man?"

"Maybe. What's your stake?"

"She's my wife," Eddie said. "This comes to my door where my wife…. Alice. Rose. You gotta ask me this?"

"I thought you'd dance on his grave," Em said.

"Wrong like usual you fucking monkey."

"It ain't about the women, Eddie. Carl put that money on you for taking that dough from Lou's. He made you pay up, fucker, it's that simple. So relax. I'll handle it."

Eddie did calm some. The ape was right. That's what it was. Fuck he hadn't seen that. Isbe…that's all he saw anymore…just her. He'd slipped…allowed himself to be punished. That was weak. A whole new thing opened up he had to think about, had to face. Could he love like this and stay sharp? To be a fucking crook…you had to be willing to jump in…just think of yourself like the rest of the crooks. But he was a conflicted man. Double-minded. He wasn't sharp. He was getting fat and satisfied. Holy shit.

Gorilla was yammering away. "Billy did us straight. He bet straight, saved our money and took shit from Seth without giving it up. Billy's alright. He's fucking smart you get to know him. And he hates Carl. Fucking hates his guts. We'll see what happens."

Eddie didn't want to talk about this. They were in it now. They were doing it. So they drove in silence until they hit a light and Em looked at Eddie, a grin breaking out, and he made that monkey sound that meant he was ready to rattle the bars.

"It ain't Christmas," Eddie said growing more pissed off. Em had pulled Jacob into his criminal activity when that kid already had a trade. Here Eddie was with a debt to work off, one he took on like a fucking weak moog, partly to keep up with Emmie, to hang on to him so he'd settle somewhere good before he went over a cliff and couldn't get back. So what did he do? He got another partner.

Eddie looked out his window. There was no cause to celebrate and Em needed to calm the fuck down.

It took a while to get out of the city, even with a gorilla's foot on the pedal. When they reached Billy's Em by-passed the station and drove in back of the darkened bays up to Billy's trailer.

This…like it or don't…that man back there…that miserable, crooked fuck…was related by blood and that put another complication on it. Isbe. Always Isbe. He nearly groaned he was so fucked.

So Eddie wondered what he should do here. He wondered what she would want and he knew he had a log in his eye and it was her.

Carl made this delivery in front of her house. Even though Em was right, it wasn't the women, it showed no respect. None. Eddie took this as a threat. Carl could occupy that trunk next. It was that simple.

She was better off without Charlie. And he, Eddie, certainly was. She'd never have the commitment to kill her old man, and he wouldn't want that in a million years.

He remembered what she'd said—she'd tried to honor Charlie. She'd tried but Charlie hated what she loved. She seemed to think honor was like forgiveness, hand in glove. So honor was a tricky word, thicker for her than for him.

According to Eddie's old man, honor meant he could piss in Eddie's mouth and Eddie had to swallow.

"Separate the man from his deeds," he'd heard. Some well- meaning goof in one of the churches the old man pastored…that was what this old boy said to Eddie. "Separate a man from his deeds. This is how you love," he'd said.

He didn't buy it. How did you separate a man from his deeds? What kind of a skewed free pass was that?

Separate a man from his deeds—skin him alive and nail his suit of flesh to the barn wall then. Some things you couldn't cut apart without killing the whole. A man was his deeds. That was the fucking problem.

Em pulled into Billy's yard. They got out and Em had the trunk up.

"Hey buddy, you alive?" Em said close to Charlie while they searched for a way to move him.

Billy had his trailer door open. He was in his chair looking out. Jacob pushed past Billy, no shirt, hair standing like he'd been sleeping already.

"What do you want?" Orangutan said coming down the four steps and walking to the trunk they'd just popped.

"Hot damn," Jacob said looking in. "You bring this dead guy here? Wait…is that…?"

"He ain't dead," Eddie said. "Least he wasn't." He looked at Billy. "Carl got Charlie. Copper…Charlie."

He didn't have to explain. Billy had been at the fight, seen the big mouth leading the charge.

"Happy birthday, huh?" Em said, nudging Jacob, like he'd understand.

"That's bad trouble," Billy said, one hand splayed against the door, the other on the wheel of his chair.

"There ain't no other kind," Em said, the philosopher now.

Jacob made a stretcher from a blanket and two crutches Billy had used before fulltime in the chair. He laid this on the ground and they moved Charlie there. He moaned a little…a lot, but he was weak. They got him in and put him on the living room sofa. Charlie never opened his eyes, but his mouth, he didn't close that. And that was bloomed up like a punched mouth bloomed, his lips red and split. He still wore his uniform, tore up and blood stains from wounds underneath. His feet were bare.

Charlie's nose was bent over. That was gonna fucking hurt…if he lived and they yanked it in place but no sense putting him through it if he was already dying.

And his arm, swollen, probably broke. Eddie didn't want to touch him anyway. This was shit. If he lived…it was all shit then. But hurt like this, there would be bleeding on the inside.

"You want the hospital?" Eddie asked Charlie.

"No," Em said and Eddie ignored him, but Charlie didn't answer.

"Well fuck him," Eddie said. He was going to try and save this asshole? What for? He'd sold the house out from under his daughter, put her in Carl's crosshairs. He needed to die…just let go and stop breathing.

The move to the couch and the pain must have snapped him out of his coma. He was trying to focus on Eddie.

"Get Sue," Billy said to Jacob.

Jacob went out.

Em asked who Sue was and Billy said she was a nurse. She was alright.

Billy rolled forward and nudged Eddie and he left off staring at Charlie. He had a million thoughts in his head. Billy was offering Eddie a smoke, holding the pack toward him.

"Got my own," Eddie said. He stepped away from Charlie some, but the room was small and Billy's chair and Em, big as a chair, there was no where to go. He struck a match and sucked the fag. "Carl said you and him…go back."

Billy nodded. "Not at the same time." He eyed Eddie and the corner of his mouth lifted.

"We got us a patient," Eddie said. They'd expected a corpse.

Em nodded. "Another test."

"Oh," Eddie said. "Right." He was pissed as hell. Gorilla wasn't telling him a thing. But the solution was rolling out in his mind.

"It ain't complicated," Em said. "Billy knows…right man? It ain't complicated." Em said this last to Billy.

"It could be," Eddie said. Cause whatever way this went, he wasn't setting himself to trust the snake or the jackel. He said as much.

Billy laughed a little. "Wise words," he said.

Eddie felt his former fog lifting on that. He may have gotten soft, but he was snapping out of it. He'd bowed the knee and kissed ass for the last time. Whatever they did, it would clear the decks, that much he knew.

Sue came. She carried a bag, like a doctor. She took the shade off of the pole lamp by Billy's chair and brought it near the sofa and she got to work on Charlie.

Eddie went outside. Em followed.

"Eddie…talk to me."

"What do you want me to say? He lives…what? We all go to Leavenworth? What if he pins this on us? He wants me dead."

"You want me to kill him now?" Em asked. Eddie knew he would.

He looked away from Em. "No. But we don't kill him, we what…let him convalesce?"

"Fuck yeah, if he makes it," Em said. "We take out Carl. We both know that. Eddie, we save his life…we got the coppers. Carl…it's his time, man, past his time."

"So much for family loyalty," Eddie said. It was 'Uncle Carl,' afterall.

"Hey," Em said, gesturing toward the trailer, toward Charlie.

Yeah. Fuck family loyalty when family wasn't loyal to you. But was Em loyal to him? That's what he couldn't reconcile right now. There were secrets. Jacob. This big ass plan that had him fired. Eddie didn't know shit about Em right now.

"Know what? I ain't gonna trust this fucker. I said that in there and it ain't changed in the last five minutes. I ain't gonna put myself in a place like that," Eddie said.

"I want to know what he knows," Em said. "He wants to live, it's his call."

"I'll never trust that fucker in there. He betrayed his wife…his own daughter. That's himself. Man betrays his own self, you never trust a fucker like dat."

"Eddie, that's most guys. That's why…you can't trust anybody."

"Can I trust you?" Eddie said.

Em stared at him. Eddie knew his looks, his faces. "What you want me to say, Eddie? After all these years…you do or you don't."

It was a good answer, maybe even the right answer, but it didn't fix a thing, cause inside…Eddie realized he had Rose's problem when it came to Em. He loved him. Always would. But trust him? Not anymore.


	47. Chapter 47

Hard Hearted 47

Half hour later Eddie had just exited the trailer again. Charlie had hung on. There was some problem with his breathing, more than the broken nose, and a heart-rate slow and troubled, so Charlie wasn't mincing words. He didn't have the wind and he couldn't stay awake, and he moaned and groaned and it sounded like, "Bella." He was out of his mind.

Outside Eddie took a breath, lit a smoke, walked over Billy's dying lawn, if it could be called that, tamped down dust, quiet, with patches of choked white grass. He tried to focus on something besides the man in the trailer. The weather was changing, fall's crawling fingers cooling it down, and he thought how he'd never known Isbe in fall weather. He'd never walked through leaves with her or went to the country to look at the color, to find a farmer selling sweet potatoes side of the road, his wife in a chunky jacket, helping him make the change and Eddie would say to keep it, and he'd thank them and he'd feel good to know Isbe would be with him to grow old…but he'd think of all the time between now and then…all the times they'd watch leaves come and go and the life in between.

But maybe this year…they could buy a pumpkin, a big one…if she wanted. He wanted to do that, carve one…like the ones he'd smashed when he was a punk…and he could still be a punk, but when he was one for real back then, wanting to break what he could…so angry…so ornery, he couldn't follow the rules. God Almighty he had so much to make up for.

Could he follow them now…rules? What kind of man was he? What kind of man?

He didn't want this kind of fucked thinking.

That moog inside, lying on the couch, he'd had a good kid like Isbe…and what had it meant? That fucker had nothing now…when he could have had so much, and calling for her now? Eddie was angry about it…the people…other people threw away. Didn't they know how time ran out?

He saw it in the war…people…throwing people…in ditches and holes, leaving them to lie on the earth, to stare without seeing…a stupor of sleep…. What if something were to happen to her…some judgment on him…for choosing to be…this man…who'd pulled her in to his turmoil…into his…shit.

What kind of man was he…for Isbe?

He wanted that big money. He thought it was owed to him, not so much from the war, but from the way his old man did him, he was taking his, taking what he wanted, willing to get it one way or another.

And then he fell in love. He hadn't known…he was looking. But there she was. And same time, same day he found her…Uncle Carl found him…drifting.

He'd been floating along, he hadn't chosen the straight and narrow, not anytime. But there she was, that missing rib, that missing chunk of his heart, that lover of his soul. And he got married. And he was trying now…wasn't he?

He got that job like she wanted. He was nearly, nearly a regular Joe.

So why didn't that square things?

Cause his old man was right…inside, Eddie knew he might be rotten…hopeless even. From his mother…to right now…he'd always brought the dark thing. And now to Isbe.

What kind of man…let down Isbe Swan? Charlie. But was he any better?

He groaned and looked at the stars. The thought of settling, just being that nine to five moog, damn he didn't know. He had her, what more could he ask for? But he wanted 'it' to. A little…fuck a duck…a little danger…the wild west…open the gate and let it charge cause fuck it boxing him up would take an undertaker with a club. He wouldn't go easy. He never could fit where it was tight. Not since…not still. He had big love and big ambition. She'd signed on…but did she really know?

Eddie heard Billy's front door open and close. It was Sue. "He wants to see his daughter," Sue called to Eddie like he didn't already know.

Eddie threw his smoke on the ground moving his foot to grind it out. He missed, staggered and tried again. He wasn't mixing Isbe in this. He'd hold a pillow over that fucker's face first. That bastard didn't even know what he was saying.

"He wants…," Sue was saying as he approached.

"She ain't coming around this," Eddie said.

"He's dying," Sue said.

Jacob came from inside the house. "I called her."

"Fucker you did not," Eddie said.

"She's coming," Jacob said.

"You do this without asking me? That's my wife," Eddie yelled.

"You don't get to decide," Jacob said, spitting after and folding his arms over his hairless chest. Eddie wanted to pound him down.

He stormed across the grass and up the steps and got in Jacob's face. "You don't ever tell me what I decide comes to my wife." He knew spit was flying, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered. He could feel the blood move behind his eyes, then the satisfying crunch of Jacob's nose under his fist. He was aware of restraint, arms clamping around his arms, holding them back like chicken wings, and he couldn't be held when he felt like this, but it gave Orangutan time to leap over the porch railing and take off running. Eddie was going after, but Em was on him again, and they struggled, and he turned and punched Em and that one didn't take it and he socked Eddie's jaw and they tumbled down the porch stairs and wrestled at the bottom.

Eddie got on his feet and kicked Em in the middle and it was on then. But the cold shot of water, right in his face, did stop Eddie for a minute. It was Sue standing there blasting an industrial sized hose, something like a fire department might use.

"Alright," he shouted.

"You're guests here and you've brought enough trouble," she said, directing the water from Eddie to Em. Eddie was drenched. There was water in his shoes.

"Turn it off," Em yelled.

She kept the water going, right in Em's open mouth. "You don't tell me what to do, buster."

Having made her point she sprayed them both a couple more times then stepped to the free standing spigot and moved a big metal handle to a resting position, shutting the water off. Em had been spitting and now he got up from the mud puddle that had formed around his ass while Eddie checked his saturated cigarettes and said, "Fuck."

Sue wasn't finished. She said to Eddie, "Now clean up before your wife sees you. Don't you think she'll have enough to handle?"

Eddie didn't worry about dripping water. He went into the trailer, to Charlie and leaned over, cold drips splashing onto that near corpse. "Hey," he made sure Charlie's eyes were open. "You got no right to ask for her. You ain't worthy to say her name, fucker. What you ever do for that girl? You didn't take care of her. You never took care of her!"

He'd gotten loud and he'd bent close and put his hands on that man and this time when Em dragged him back he didn't fight, not at first, he'd gotten crazy pretty fast, words pouring out, and when he ran out of those, he broke the hold and Em went along, releasing him easy.

He shot a look at Em, and he straightened himself. Billy watched, but said nothing, and Eddie was going out when they called him back.

"He wants you," Billy said gesturing toward Charlie.

Eddie stood there, across the small room, jaw throbbing from Em's punch, clothes dripping on the floor, hand on the door. He took the four steps that put him flush over that almost dead man, Isbe's dad.

"Carl," Charlie had that look like he was almost gone, that death look like the soul was already sitting at the birth canal ready to push through. He had a bizarre thought that Charlie's soul was working its way through his intestines, ready to burst right out of his asshole. But for the sake of poetry, it was probably going to come out the mouth.

But no, "Is..bella," Charlie said. His wife's name came through those lips instead.

Eddie swallowed. "Go peaceful on that fucker." He'd said that for her.

Charlie's eyes grew round. His lips stilled, broken teeth, red tongue.

Eddie was looking at him. A great fucking silence descended like they waited for that ghost fucker to leave the room.

He couldn't go quick enough.

And Sue got in front of Eddie, between him and Charlie, her hand on Charlie's neck.

"He's gone," she said.

Em cursed and rubbed his face. He'd lost his prize. Eddie had to get out. He practically ran out of the house and went right and left, hand on the back of his neck.

When he was aware of Em having followed he turned, and yelled, "Give me your keys. Give me your keys."

"Eddie…she's alright," Em shouted. "Jacob said Baboon answered the phone. He's bringing them here. They'll be here any minute. She's alright."

Eddie kept going right, then left, two steps one way, two another, hand squeezing his neck. "She…," he went to Em to hit him, his steps heavy, one hand on Em's shoulder, a hand on the other. Em easily knocked Eddie's hands off. He was speaking through his teeth but Eddie couldn't hear, he already knew. He'd already heard. "She's alright."

Carl. Isbe. Their names close on a dead man's thread. Whatever Charlie had done…whatever Carl had promised…it didn't matter now. None of it.

Eddie knew what he'd do. That was never the question.

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Eddie left me. I didn't like the way it felt, the man I loved walking out.

I'd heard him hesitate in the hallway, but he went anyway, following after Em, getting in the car with him and driving away.

I had lain in the bed and cried myself into a state of half awake, half drifting. I'd been thinking of him, all the reasons why he'd been wrong to leave, all the reasons why, if he returned I would play cold and make him understand he couldn't treat me this way.

But he didn't come, and so I was floating in this sad place, not aware, and yet so alert I heard Alice's light tread on the stairs. My head was lifted when she appeared. She was trying to tell me Charlie had been hurt but all I could yell over that was, "Is Eddie alright?"

She was yelling through my noise that yes, yes, Eddie was fine. She had come all the way to my bed, was holding my arms. And it got through and push to shove it's all that mattered.

It was on the ride to Jacob's that I really understood my father was hurt. Jasper didn't know how badly. He didn't know much of anything, only that Jacob had called and my father and Eddie and Em were at Billy's house. They had taken Charlie there. He'd been left in Em's car. My father had been left in Em's car which had been parked in front of my house.

Rose had been quiet, but she sat in the backseat with me. She took my hand and squeezed it, smiled at me when I looked at her. "I've been waiting for something to happen to Charlie since I've been little," I told her. "Are you alright?" I asked, cause she hadn't been well the past few days, but she nodded and she kept holding my hand. She was so beautiful sometimes, well always, but lately, even with being sick, she had a glow.

Jasper glanced at me in the mirror. He was quiet, like me. I'd never felt so safe as when these three were around, The Monkeys. I loved each of them in a different way. Eddie…I would never love anyone like him, but the other two were the brothers I'd never had. If there was danger, Jasper would keep us safe. And when I reached Eddie…nothing could touch me then. See, they were my family.

I tried to think about Charlie and how I'd grown up knowing policemen died in the line of duty. I knew right away that what my dad did held danger. He wore a gun to work.

Then the years passed, and I lost Mom. And Charlie just kept living, and I forgot to be worried. It didn't matter anymore. I wished him well, but peering at him when we sat in the pew at Church or while we passed that hour in the booth at Tillman's, I'd be struck anew. I didn't know him. I didn't…want to. I pitied him, but pity wasn't love.

Two strangers. Too alike. Remote people locked inside of themselves. We couldn't get to each other, me and Charlie. But we'd felt an obligation to try, first me, then him. But not at the same time.

Rose and Alice, they came after me. They accepted me. Then Eddie. Saving me at Tillman's. He didn't know what it meant that day, looking up and seeing him, my bold and fearless lover invading all the pale…pity…with his fire and brimstone…and I'd tied it up, that day, my pretense at being a good daughter…Eddie's presence burned all the crap out of me with just one look. When I said good-bye to Charlie on that parking lot and turned toward Eddie, my life had changed. I had changed. It would always be Eddie.

Oh I felt so…possessive of him…possessed by him. He had no idea. My Eddie. And knowing Charlie meant him harm…all that mattered…could matter…was that Eddie lived.

And that's how I came to him. He was standing in Jacob's yard, his arms open wide when I got out of the car. And I ran to him. I crashed in to him and he was always real, always warm and sure and true. And I was his.

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He heard the approach of the car, his Ford, Baboon at the wheel, Alice beside, Rose's blonde head in back, and there she was, opening her door before Baboon had fully stopped. She was out, and she ran to him, and he took a step, his arms wide and she slammed in to him then, his arms around her, up against him, his heart, his life.

"He's gone, baby. He's dead," he said at once, to prepare her, to let her know.

She pulled back to search his face, but he didn't want to let her go, to give her an inch. Yes, he was wet, he'd been fighting, who the fuck cared. She was alright. She was here.

"Eddie," she whispered, her face wrecked, pain in her eyes, "what happened?"

He couldn't answer. He just held her, one hand around her waist sealing her against him, the other hand back of her head, fingers threaded through her thick hair. He wouldn't be careless, not anymore.

"Back in St. Louis…I never said…but…I got a cousin. She was alright. I'm gonna take you back there for a while…let things settle down."

She was looking now, those brown eyes he loved fixed on him. "I'm not leaving you."

"Listen to me," he glanced up at the girls standing there, Em was talking to Rose, but Baboon and Alice were waiting, "you don't need to go in there. A lady here is a nurse…but Isbe…there was no hope."

"He suffered."

"She took good care of him. But no more now. It's over."

"Who did this? Did he talk to you?"

"Just…your name."

"My name? Like…calling me?"

"Just at the end…like a good-bye." He was fixing here, patching.

She had to let that notion settle some, and he picked her right up and carried her, walking away from the others some.

"You're…safe," she said. "It's…I worried."

He couldn't answer. It had been that for him as well. Was she safe? It was the burning question for them both.

After a silent minute she said, "Jacob said someone dumped him in Em's car. Who would do that? We have to go to the police."

He set her on her feet. "No. There's no going to the police, Isbe. He was the police and you don't want this looked in to, believe me. This was a war. It's what he was a part of. There can't even be a regular funeral. You have to say your good-byes right here."

"I…want to pay respects," she said.

He called to Em, "Get him ready for her."

"Sue's on it," Em called. Sue would know to keep Charlie covered. They couldn't show so much as a hand cause Charlie's hands were tortured.

Isbe was looking at him and these fat tears were leaking down her cheeks. He used his thumbs to wipe them away, but more came. He was trying to comfort her, say it was alright. She didn't understand, she said. "I don't know why this is happening."

"It's like I told you before, he was into shit…rough stuff…rough people."

"What about you guys…you and Em…why would someone pick Em's car…come to the house…?"

"It's Charlie's house."

"So…who are they? Are they coming for me?"

"No. That's why I need you to go away, so I can make sure it's safe. I don't want you to worry."

"Oh God," she said and he felt her lean more. "Are you and Em in trouble Eddie? Tell me!"

"No."

"But you want to send me away? Without you? No. I won't leave you." She clutched his jacket.

"I have to find out what all of this is."

"Oh God these people are after us? We have to go to the police, Eddie."

"Calm down. You want the truth? He had his way…your old man? I'd be the one in that blanket, and his buddies would have helped him arrange that, no questions."

She sniffed and kept staring at him. She wiped the tears herself then and more didn't come. "Then…it's better this way," she whispered.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it, a long kiss, his eyes closed. He loved her so much it made his chest ache.

"Look at me, Eddie," she said, and suddenly she was the strong one, the one comforting him. "It's better this way."

He wanted to tell her it was the same for him, but she had to know and he couldn't speak just yet. Having her…it's all that mattered. He had feared her father's death, all the crap surrounding it would drive a wedge between them, but he'd underestimated her again, her feelings for him. He was never against her, nothing he did was done against her, ever. She understood and for the first time since he'd left their home and got pulled into this circus, he could breathe.

So he broke off first and took her arm and led her to the trailer, Alice and Rose came around her too and they went inside and Sue had Charlie covered and she'd pinned his badge on the blanket that shrouded him. A kitchen chair had been placed next to him and Isbe sat there and Eddie stood behind her, his hands on her bowed shoulders and he felt it in her, what was and what never was. She touched Charlie's badge, but she wasn't crying anymore. When Sue asked if she wanted it, Isbe said, "No. Bury it with him."


	48. Chapter 48

Hard Hearted 48

From Billy's Jasper was taking Rose and Alice to spend a couple of nights with Alice's parents.

That wasn't good enough for Eddie. After Em and Jacob finished getting rid of Charlie, sans badge, that thing made its way into Eddie's jacket pocket, but after they laid him to rest in an unmarked grave, Eddie was allowing Jacob to drive Isbe to St. Louis.

Against Eddie's better judgment he took her to the house so she could pack. Once there she announced she wasn't going to St. Louis. This was her home. He…was her home. She wasn't leaving him. She wouldn't.

Finally he'd heard enough. He said, "I say what goes on this, Isbe."

He'd been trying to get her to fill her suitcase and when she'd plopped on her bed with folded arms he started packing it himself.

"What about work?"

"You don't have to go anymore. You quit."

"Eddie, listen to yourself. Who are they and why would they come after me? Are they coming for you? You don't answer any of my questions and you expect me to drop everything? No. I've…I've lost enough. No, Eddie. My place is with you."

"That's right. This is temporary. You do what I say here, Isbe. I'm not taking chances with you."

"You have to tell me." She came close to him, and mad as he was his arms went right around her.

"Baby it goes all the way through. I don't know what Charlie was up to, but he was dirty. He was in with a guy…this guy…he shows up here the other day."

"At the house?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"You were gone. He…he'd gotten hold of the house. Your dad owed him."

"Eddie…my father lost the house? My house?"

"I bought it from him…from Carl."

"You bought my…this house."

"Yes."

"How…this house…how?"

"I took a loan."

"Eddie…why didn't you come to me? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I handled it."

"Oh…," her head was moving, her chin going left and right, "you handled it?"

Was she doubting him? "I don't know if they had Charlie then…I don't know. He was in with them. The Irish, it's the cops, the politicians. But Charlie…he was in trouble. Em's uncle…there was bullshit between him and Charlie." Nevermind he'd stepped right in the middle of it when he took Lou's money. "But he should never have come here. I bought him off…but then Charlie was dumped here. It's trouble. You hear me Isbe? I have to see what's going on. I need you to be safe."

"If I go away you're coming with me. I can't leave you. I won't. I can't lose you!"

"I'll be fine. The only way I get hurt is if you don't let me put you somewhere safe."

"I can't leave you."

"I don't want to be apart. But it clears my mind…."

"No, Eddie."

"Don't make me force you to go, baby."

She shoved him with both hands and what the fuck he almost tripped over a chair cause he hadn't been ready for it, not from her.

She was angry, well so was he. She didn't know when to quit. He'd ended up telling her more than he meant to, but that's how crazy she made him.

"There are no secrets in marriage, Eddie," she said, and here came the angry tears.

"Oh no?" he'd said. "You're a great one to tell me no secrets."

That stopped her. He was trying not to gloat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she'd asked, looking like she'd got caught, cat eating the canary, feathers on her lips.

"Don't give me the 'who me' bit. You got something you forgot to tell me?"

"I didn't forget."

"No? I'm supposed to believe you trust me when you don't come clean about money? What…I'm such a loser you can't let me know you got a stash?"

"It's not that," she rushed out.

"What is it then? We married or what…two roommates in here?"

"Oh roommates? That's what we are?" She was pulling on the ring now, trying to get it off. She better not, is what he thought. She was going too far now.

"You throw that at me you're not getting it back," he said, praying she'd stop.

"Another threat? You're priceless, you are." She was tugging at that ring.

"Don't push me."

"And another one. Bully!"

Oh, fuck this. He couldn't talk to a crazy woman.

"Where are you going?" she yelled, sucking on her finger now.

"I'm going downstairs while you finish packing. You got five minutes," he yelled back.

He went downstairs and she followed, and he went through the kitchen and slammed the door behind him. "Nutcase," he muttered, his eyes scanning the trees from long habit, as she yelled, "Bully," through the door. No, he'd never retreated from a fight and he couldn't stand it like this, things so fucked up between them. He turned to go back in and the door was locked. He could only thank himself for it. He'd been preaching it from day one, "Lock the damn door," and so it was fixed to lock.

He was looking at her, she stood there in the kitchen boo-hooing into her hands. The ring was still on.

"Open the door," he said knocking on the glass. "Isbe."

She looked up. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Isbe…open the door now." He'd been ready to say he'd break the glass if she didn't, but she would only call him on another threat.

"How could you get involved with that man? Did you think working with a murdering gangster was a sensible thing?"

He wasn't talking like this, through the fucking door. "Open it," he commanded, rattling the knob. He didn't want to break it. Fuck they needed the doors to be in-tact. He quit begging and went around front, checking out the quiet street. He'd planned to use his key. But he didn't have his key and of course, this door was also locked.

Fuck a duck he was fuming about now. He went around back and without hesitation climbed onto the patio cover and worked his way up to her window. She had it closed with the cooler weather, but it wasn't locked. Another time she didn't listen. He started to raise it when she walked in the bedroom. "Edward what are you doing?"

"I'm coming in to my house." He emphasized the my.

"Your house?" she said, hands on her hips.

"I bought it, sweetheart. Paid a ridiculous amount of money for it."

"How much?" she said, all interested in him now that he'd had to break in to his own house.

"Aw no, baby. We don't talk about money in this family, do we?"

"Edward, the reason I didn't tell you…about my money…I wanted to surprise you. But the time…I know you're so ambitious. I wasn't sure you'd be happy about it. I worried how it would make you feel. I kept meaning to mention it, but the time never seemed right…."

"Stop with the excuses," he said rearranging the window now that he'd climbed in like a fucking bandit.

"I'm trying to talk to you."

"I'm tired of talking. You don't listen."

"You're mean."

She couldn't cut him any deeper if she used a knife. He was done with this. They were both tired. Everything he said dug him in deeper.

He took it upon himself to get her suitcase and he went to her underwear drawer and began grabbing things.

"No," she said, trying to stop him. He couldn't believe this.

"Isbe," he said sternly, her underwear in his hands.

"I'll do it," she snapped.

He was taken aback. She was complying? He put the silky bits back in her drawer and stepped aside and she took his place and sorted through her things, rearranging what he'd disturbed.

"Hey," he said. He pulled on her arm a little and she turned to him. There was still that resistance in her face, but her body was soft toward him. She stepped closer and he put his arms around her. He only meant to peck her lips, but she grabbed onto his arms and pushed into him, her body and her mouth, and he opened his and let her have it. She may make him crazy, but the love…he always wanted her.

"Eddie," she whispered, breaking the kiss and they looked at one another, up close. "You get me, right?"

He kissed her again, lips and tongue and wet and his hands up and down on her back, her ass. He took her to the bed and laid her down, crawled over her and continued the kiss, letting his weight crush her into the mattress for just a few seconds before he moved off her and brought her on top of him. She moved quickly, opened his pants and moved her underwear aside as he helped it along until he got inside of her and she moved so he was completely in. He rolled them again and he moved his hips slow, long strokes while he watched her face, stared into the eyes she would close, then open again. He would kiss her, fast and deep and sloppy, and she lifted her hips some and he went faster then, grinding himself into her and she went wild and came quietly, holding her breath, her mouth open, so beautiful, and he moved on her enough to let her ride it out, then three or four pumps and he lost it too and that little death was the longest wave of pleasure he'd ever ridden, rolling out and rolling out…out.

He collapsed on her for a second, and she squealed and he laughed and rolled off. Damn.

"Eddie…I'll go to Alice's parent's house."

He opened his mouth to protest and she turned on her side and put her finger over his mouth. "Shh. Listen. I can't go that far from you. I need Alice and Rose. I'll go to work with them. No one will hurt me at work. I won't leave Chicago. I need to see you, Eddie. If you think I could go all the way to St. Louis while you're in trouble, you don't know me at all."

He took her hand away and held it, and he let out a long breath. "Fifteen grand."

"What? That's robbery."

"I took a loan for fifteen."

"Well that's not acceptable. I'm paying that loan. I have twenty-four."

"G's?"

"Yes."

"Holy shit. I married a rich broad?" But he wasn't happy about it. He didn't want to take money from his wife.

She didn't smile. "I could have gotten you killed."

"No, baby, I did this to myself." Fuck a damn duck what was he saying? This woman….

"Listen, Eddie, I'm nuts about you. I mean…I wasn't keeping that money back."

"That's your money. You're keeping it."

"No…."

"Yes. It's your security and that's the end of it. I don't need my wife to pay my debts."

She pulled her hand back and raised on her elbow. "It's our money and this is our house. We're not carrying debt when we have the money, Eddie. And besides…you're my security."

Earlier in this fucked conversation she had doubted him. He'd felt it.

"You mean that? I'm your security?"

"What do you think? Of course I mean it."

He shot up then, righted his pants. "I'm gonna wash up. I get done, you be ready to go."

"With your goo between my legs?" she smiled, brow raised, very beautiful.

"Don't worry. It's way the hell up there. I came like that hose Sue used back at Billy's." He grinned, loving their very dirty talk. Now this was what words were for.


	49. Chapter 49

Hard Hearted 49

Leaving her with Alice and Rose and the Brandons was pitiful. Well she'd poured on the sad. Damn he could barely look at her as he pulled away, her on the sidewalk waving. It wasn't right he'd left her, wasn't fair with what happened to Charlie, and what he'd had to tell her about the house, even though he'd shaved five grand off the price to soften the blow, still, what her old man did…Eddie knew he should be with her.

He should be taking her away about now. As soon as this was finished, he would.

No, not as soon. He had this job now. He was her security and he needed to be that and him taking the job meant everything. He even had a uniform jacket, and she understood that, even if Charlie hadn't been the sort you could rely on, she understood a man putting on a uniform each and every day, working a job, it's what men did, one week into the next.

What was it, this thing between them, when he held her, when she walked into a room, everything in him went her way. He got excited. Just being with her…it let the steam off the kettle, that's all. But then it built again, for her, and it just felt alive. He'd been taking it in, life, but now, he was thinking about all kinds of shit, looking ahead. He was getting deliberate and starting to realize…he knew stuff. He had some things figured out. Like maybe a man should.

So he'd said to her there in front of the house, "Hey…you still got my goo in there?"

She gasped, slapped his arm and tried not to laugh. She didn't want to talk about it now, all prim and proper in front of Alice's house, she turned a red blush.

He was laughing.

"Eddie stop," she whined. He was breaking her sad bit.

"I'm just asking," he said.

She got a little teary-eyed, well she was entitled to feel anything she wanted in his book. He said, "Come 'ere," and he folded his arms around her.

"The Brandon's might be looking," she warned him, "so don't…."

"What," he teased, "grab your sweet little ass or something? You think I'm some kind of animal?"

She leaned back and smiled.

He laughed and gathered her in again.

After a moment he said, "You girls can't go to work now. You ain't had enough sleep, and with what you been through, Isbe you're probably in shock." He had some knowledge on this.

"It's alright, Eddie. I'll call in and sleep. I know I can't tell them about Charlie, but I couldn't work the board today. I couldn't. I wish you didn't have to go."

"I ain't been there long enough to miss."

"You don't need sleep Eddie?"

"I'll catch up. And I don't think I'll get back here this evening." He'd been waiting to spring that.

"Then when will I see you? Why can't I go home with you tonight and sleep with you? You need me."

He kissed her now. He did need her. Always. "It's just a couple of days."

"Just? Maybe you feel that way…just. Not me. Two days is forever, Eddie." He loved that lip she had jutting.

"I know…you think I like this? But life is hard…sacrifices…." Listen to him. Shit. Was he forty? Sixty?

"I know you, Eddie. You won't call. You'll do whatever it is you think needs doing and that's all you'll think about."

She was wrong about that. He never forgot her…not possible.

"You call me, hear? If you don't…I'll think your're hurt. I might come looking, Eddie. I will. You know I have before."

"Is that a threat?" He was proud to catch her red-handed.

"Because I love you!"

"You stay put!" He said this more sternly than she'd probably tolerate, so he kissed her to make it up. "Because I love you," he mumbled.

Now that gave her pause.

So he told her to go in, but she said no, she wanted to watch him drive away…so he'd know, she wasn't tucked away…she was waiting…counting seconds. "My hair on end, Eddie," and she lifted a lock of her hair and let it fall on her breast, "and my eyes red and straining…no sleep…because I'm walking the roof waiting for my husband to come back to me."

Fuck sake. She was so obstinate and whatdoyoucallit dramatic. That first night when she'd got in the backseat with Em, that was her…fucking him up…and she wasn't likely to change. She made him work for everything and here he'd thought Rose was the nutcracker when this little tornado would smack his balls in a second if he didn't stand up to her.

So he rode away, watching her in the mirror and she poured it on, what she wanted him to remember. She was waiting.

And fuck it he missed her already.

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It wasn't if he'd kill Carl, it was when and where. He'd shoot him, stab him, run over him, drop a boulder on the fucker. So it wasn't if.

If he made it look like an accident it would never be investigated. But then…maybe he wanted it investigated. Maybe that's exactly what he wanted.

So it was when, where and how. Not if, and there was the commitment, the concrete that supported everything else.

So after he drove away from Isbe he went to work. On the job he was still riding with another guy, in training. So he did that, paying attention. He knew this shit already, back of his hand, but the guy showing him, it was brain surgery as far as that guy was concerned. He wasn't a bad sort, just a talker, a repeater. So Eddie played it quiet, careful not to show what he knew. This was all this guy was gonna do in his entire life so he figured, let him have it, you know? Let him be the president of this shit. This was his big deal. But for Eddie, it had to be a stepping stone to something more…something better.

He got through the day and met up with Em.

They met on the lake and walked along the waterfront there like a couple of tourists. Eddie bought a hot dog, and they walked along with so much to say, and not saying much. Eddie was a little pissed, well maybe a lot pissed, he wasn't sure. He was trying to snap out of it, but Em wasn't talking and why not? It was his father in law Em had spent the morning planting.

"It's all taken care of," Em said. Finally.

"I'm out. I don't work for Carl no more," Eddie said finishing the dog and wiping his hands and mouth with the napkin.

"Yeah? I guess I saw that coming."

"And?"

"And nothing," Gorilla said, smoothing the collar of his flesh colored shirt against his neck. It was chilly off the lake, but Em ran hotter than he did even. Unlike Eddie, he didn't wear a jacket.

They ended up leaning on a railing, side by side and not close. Eddie lit a smoke, then Em bummed one and he stretched his arm and passed the pack.

After a few seconds Em said, "Rose is pregnant."

Eddie coughed. "Shit," he squeezed out.

"Yeah."

Well what did he say here? "You happy about it?"

Em laughed a little, grinned around his smoke, but he didn't look at Eddie.

"She gonna marry you now?"

"Not yet."

"You serious?"

"As Hitler."

"Fuck dat," Eddie said, taking the last drag on his smoke. He actually felt sorry for Em cause women were so fucking complicated sometimes.

"It's your own fault," Eddie said though, cause he'd taken blame for where he was wrong with Isbe, and Em should try it sometime too.

Em blew a breath. "You the preacher now? I mean…it's in your blood…right?"

"Fuck you," Eddie said cause that was Em being the shit side of himself.

"Yeah, well you should hear yourself sometimes." He pitched his smoke and they both stood there, Eddie glaring at Em, and that one looking out at the water.

"You want Rose…and your own kid?"

"I ain't answering that kind of shit," Em said.

"Do you?"

Em looked at him, finally. Eddie wasn't used to being on the receiving end of Em's hate. He wanted to punch him in the face.

"No, I don't want her or my kid. What the hell do you think?"

"You can't meet her on this then fuck you."

"Oh, you got all the answers? All you and Isbe do is fight and fuck."

Eddie gripped the bar to keep from punching Em.

"You been up to shit and where is it getting you? You got a woman won't even marry your ass. She's willing to take the disgrace of making your kid a bastard rather than tie herself to you."

Em got a little closer. "Shut your fuckin' horrible mouth."

Eddie plowed right into Em, knocking him off balance like Isbe had done with him.

Em put a hand on the rail as he steadied himself. "I'm warning you."

"You need the warning. Not me. I got my woman, my wife. You're the one can't make good on giving your own child his daddy's name."

"Eddie I swear to God…."

"You gonna make something legit out of your fucking life? Then marry the mother of your kid and be a damn man!"

Em looked away first, jaw bunched, chewing his tongue, breathing like a consumptive Gorilla.

"Rose can't trust you."

"What are you talking about? I haven't done anything…."

"That's right. You don't do shit for anybody but yourself."

"You're mixing me with you. You don't do shit. I just buried your father in law while you what…did the deed with the little woman? Fucker, I kept Carl off your back. I do all the dirty work."

"Nah," Eddie said, so mad he was seeing things that blurry way. "You don't talk about my wife…damn ape. You don't do shit."

Eddie lit another smoke to keep his hands busy. They were walking again, toward their cars.

A couple of dames passed, one of them saying, "Hi Handsome." They ignored it, fixed on each other.

Em stopped walking. "You don't know shit, Eddie. You really don't."

Eddie pulled the fag from his mouth. "Enlighten me." What Eddie didn't know…about Emmett McCarty, could fill that lake right now far as he was concerned.

"I worked a couple jobs…robberies. Eddie…it's fuckin' Christmas the way it goes. Easy money all the way up. Old Charlie…he was greedy, out of luck and out of friends. So he put Isbe right in the bulls-eye. You got him twice, once at Lou's, then Isbe's dough. He let Carl have the house and then it was in your lap. Charlie's debt became yours to force you to cough it up, just like we knew.

"Isbe would have tried to get her house back cause that girl's a fighter and see Charlie knew that. He knew about her dough and never could find a way to get his hands on it. But you came along, and he knew you'd pay one way or the other."

"You were in on that."

"What?"

"You were in on it. The timing…me home alone. You in the house. You knew about it. You knew Carl was coming."

"Who told you that?"

"You made it look like you stood up for me. But you sold me out."

"Nah. When I ever sell you out? Carl had Charlie in a vice. He was going to take everything. Rose said Charlie hit Isbe up for money every time they did that Sunday deal they had going. Rose said he only wanted to see her to get money."

"Then why didn't he tell her she had to buy the house? Why not do that?"

"Maybe he did. Maybe she said no. Or maybe he wanted her to have it, but he couldn't live up to it. He couldn't hang on to anything. He was a gambler, Eddie. Out of control. You've seen those guys. Hell, even Billy. Jacob has to watch him like a hawk. I didn't make this happen, Eddie. Carl looked in to what Charlie had. He leaned on him and Charlie gave it up. Fuck you for marrying his daughter, you know? Think he was going to put a roof over your head?"

"You let it come around Isbe, and that I'll never forgive."

"I set it up because Carl asked me to but I made sure the girls weren't around."

"My wife," Eddie yelled.

"But I made sure you were there to handle it. And you did," Em yelled over him. "You were playing in the same mud puddle I was."

"No, you came from that mud puddle, Fucker. Big difference."

"I was playing along. Playing along."

"With what? My life? Isbe's?"

"You have no idea…listen to me. It was only a matter of time before Charlie killed Carl, or Carl killed Charlie. My money was always on Carl winning out cause he pays his guys and Charlie steals from his—meaning he don't cut it up fair when there's a take. But coppers got a thing. It's the uniform, it's like, kill one of us you kill all of us or some crap. Anyway, they see I'm next in line so a couple of the coppers reach out to me. Under the old guard there's the new ones rumbling around, some of them guys come home from the war and they say, fuck this. They become the resistance. They see Carl and Charlie as the dinosaurs. It's reconstruction time. The Jews and dagoes, they got the underworld. The micks, they're above the line, coppers, politicians. It's still the gravy train, just a new order.

"So they push the issue, the Italians help. They push it until King Carl goes for Charlie. Doesn't even have the respect to make sure he's dead. Nearly kills him and throws him away like trash.

"I open that trunk and I'm surprised. I wasn't acting about that. I'm thinking I have to finish him. He can't live. We need him dead and gone.

"And I'm wracking my brain all the way to Billy's. But we get there and that fucker is still alive. If not for you I'd have killed him. Now there's everybody and I act all elated, like I'm praying for a miracle. But he's alive and I got witnesses now and I decide to let it play out. I figure if he lives nobody wants an investigation. He'd have to go to Alaska and change his name. Either way Carl goes out on an expedited death warrant cause his balls got bigger than his brain and he's touched a copper. Merry Christmas to me.

"So none of that shit matters now. And I realize the whole time…I'm thinking of those girls. That was the fucking thing all along. Jacob calls Bisbe and this fuck is her father. And I'm thinking about Rose. She's got me thinking in ways…I can't do the things I was gonna do…just go to hell on a fucking comet, ride that thing into the fire. We got those girls there…Isbe saying good-bye and I'm thinking what the fuck we doing?

"I got a kid coming. Me…a father. Fuck!

"And you know what they'll say? They'll say, look at us, we cleaned house, we got the fuckers out so the new fuckers are in. But you know what Eddie, here's what they'll never know…Rose cast my vote. Rosalie Hale. She wouldn't marry a gangster. So what fucking choice did I have?

"I been working for coppers, Eddie. I'm going to be a cop. So all your crap about me and Rose…a little late. You were right though, she won't marry a gangster. But a cop…she'll love that guy. She's the one revamped the whole organization in Chicago, and only you and me will know it."

Eddie stepped away from Em, put his back to him, let the swirl in his head slow down a little. Holy shit.

Em went on talking. "This is reorganization, Eddie. The ones on the out are guys like Charlie, and Carl…the old cowboys still wearing their six guns from Prohibition days. They've had their time."

Eddie turned around to study Em. Em had that charming smile.

But Eddie didn't smile back. "You trust this?"

"You know what I told you—can't trust anyone. But monkey, it's got the money behind it. You can always trust that," Em said.

"So what's the plan?" Eddie said.

"Thursdays…Carl goes to McClaren's bakery for the soda bread to go with the corned beef and cabbage they serve at Mel's. Potato drops him off in front so he can see the cakes in the cases. He buys one for my mother, for dinner on Sunday. Most the time he don't show but he always sends the cake. They box it and he hands it to Potato to take to the car. That fucker takes the cake then pulls the car around the corner to the mouth of the alley.

"Meanwhile, Uncle Carl walks through the shop to the bakery in back and picks the loaves from the racks. He does this so McClaren won't put day-olds in the bottom of the sack. He's a very suspicious fucker.

"After he fills the sack with bread, he walks out the back door into the alley. Potato has the engine running cause he blocks the alley so he can make sure. Carl walks to the car, gets in with the bread and they drive off. It's literally about the only time that bastard is alone, that stretch of bricks. Like I said, very paranoid."

"I need to see the alley," Eddie said.


	50. Chapter 50

Hard Hearted 50

Eddie stood on McClaren's roof holding one of Em's Colt 45's, cocked and loaded. Nice little gun. Eddie always liked a wooden stock.

Potato pulled Carl's shiny car across the mouth of the alley. Any second now Em would walk close to the window of Carl's car and shoot Potato through the window. When Eddie heard the pop-pop, he didn't look. His eyes were on Carl coming out the door with the bag of bread.

Carl was looking toward the car. As soon as Carl let the screendoor slap closed and Eddie had a clear shot he popped Carl through the buff colored Fedora, and then he emptied the magazine into Carl's sprawled form. He looked long enough to see Carl's arm slowly unfold from holding the bread and one of the loaves roll from the top of the bag into the blood gathering under his head.

Eddie walked quickly then, over the roofs, four, five, then down the fire escape, jumped to the sidewalk, and walked swiftly down the block. Straight to the corner and into the Buick where Em had stopped in the street.

It was just that quick and clean. Eddie took Em's gun. "Don't drive like a crazy man," he said as he removed the magazine from his pistol, then Em's, pulled the slide on each and made sure the action was empty. He applied pressure to the slide-stop and removed the slide and recoil spring, the barrel and even its bushing. Between the two guns he ended up with at least fourteen parts. Each dissembled part he'd dropped in to his lunchbox. Isbe had bought him this, well they'd picked it out together when he'd gotten on at the phone company. Today it was filled with a couple of rags to keep the parts from rattling around against the metal walls.

Eddie latched the lid, set the box at his feet and took a big breath as Em drove through the city. "You sure he was dead?" Eddie asked, not looking at Em, but digging for his cigarettes.

"Nah. I just wanted to fuck with him a little."

Sarcasm. Beautiful.

Carl wasn't in this world anymore, thanks to him. Potato was taken out thanks to Em.

Em dropped Eddie off at work. "Eddie…."

Eddie looked at him. There was nothing to say. They'd done it.

"Yeah…see ya round."

Eddie kept the lunchbox with him. He clocked in and found his trainer and in no time he was on the job. They were installing lines in one of the big office buildings downtown. It was like hiding Easter eggs, but nothing like that as Eddie kept emptying his pockets of pieces of those pistols, one in basement rafters, a couple in a sewer, a drainpipe, the fucking furnace. He was a clever killer, Eddie was.

By lunch time Eddie's box was empty.

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Soon as he got off he took the bus home, cleaned up some cause he was dirty after a day climbing around in that building and he hadn't taken the time to shower at work.

So he cleaned up, but before he finished getting dressed, here she came running up the stairs. "Eddie."

He had just pulled his pants on, but no shoes, no shirt. He met her in the hall and she crashed in to him and they were in a lip lock before any words even.

Oh God he wanted her. She was all he wanted…soft lips and lipstick and a tongue like honey.

They kissed their ways in to the room and flopped on that bed, and he let his hands smooth over her and he got lost…that mouth…the kissing, "Oh Eddie, Eddie, I was so worried," she got out and he said shhhh, and he kissed her some more and helped her get some of the clothes off, the jacket and her skirt up, her underwear off. He was back out of his pants and settled in between her legs and he wanted her wrapped around him. He pushed his dick into her soft, wet heat, slick and tight for him, a tight lick up and down his dick, the ridge around the top, pulling out and feeling the soft resistance while his heart went thud, then pushing back into the dripping squeeze, "Oh God," he said with so much satisfaction he sounded deep and drunk.

She kept whispering his name, and he felt himself come back to earth then, he knew he was real…human and in his skin, fucking her while she held him there, while she brought him around and started to gather his soul in her hands and spin it around and around, and he pumped in to her and she lifted and met him, and he took her leg, held it, bit the soft inside of her knee, kissed it, and then he kept pounding, pounding, and she dug in to him, nails in his back, and he remembered Carl—he likes the nails—he'd said about Eddie, and the way they'd tore Charlie apart, and all the shit and crap, he was done, it was done, and he thrust once more and she yelled out, and he broke apart, in her, with her, just her, just them….

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Later that evening they were on their way to St. Louis. No rhyme or reason, but he needed to make sure they were safe. But it was more. Unfinished business. He knew…and he didn't. It was the past…it was the future…what he had to do. They drove for six hours, in the dark, her head on his shoulder. He'd slept some after they'd made love…and he knew he was exhausted, but he couldn't rest, not yet.

It wasn't something regular…what went on between them. When they made love, heaven and earth moved…in him. There was the act, the sex, but what it meant each time was as different as they were. Each time it was something else, each time. This last…he felt cleansed, that's all. Was it fair to her? Had he used her? He had no fucking idea. He just knew…she was his life.

His hand was between her thighs, and he was holding on tight. He had set the mirror so he could see her face, watch her anytime he wanted. She brought a smile to his lips. He loved the monkeys…not Jacob. He wasn't a real monkey anyway. And he loved Isbe. It was a man's love she'd awakened in him, something he couldn't imagine he was capable of feeling. He wondered how deeply she'd changed him. He wondered if such a love would follow him…here.


	51. Chapter 51

Hard Hearted 51

He loved the smell of the river. Sadness, yeah, but…hope? Yeah, hope.

He'd pulled the Ford onto the cobblestones that paved the riverfront there, the Eads Bridge up high to the left. A barge passed, silently parting the water like a whale he'd seen once at sea on the way over…there.

It was mud he smelled, that was the thing about the Mississippi, the way the catfish tasted, that's what this was, that slow slug, pitch black in the night, a river you wrote songs about cause it caught the moon and spread that light on its murky roll like a smear of magic.

Farther shore, East St. Louis, back some, someone had a fire going, an all night camp out cause those boys fished this thing morning noon and night and there were fish in there they told stories about around those fires and it'd scare the shit right out of you when you were ten years old.

It always did him, when he'd run away here and live by that bridge, that hellacious looking thing, work of art by day, and at night a place men died beneath sometimes.

Nothing tasted so good as that fish fry shared with a kid shouldn't be here this time of night, and the colored men, they were the kindest to him, feeding him up and calling him Sonny, a drink from their bottles to stay warm. They taught him to laugh. They taught him to swear.

There was always kindness out there to fight against the sick in his stomach.

What scared him now? Nothing. Everything. Losing Isbe, asleep on him still. He knew she hadn't slept until they were together again, he knew she wouldn't. He looked at her now, so fucking young. He had the car pointed toward the river on a downward slant and when she awoke she was gonna scream like Boris Karloff was on her tail. All those hookman stories, they happened here, and he laughed to himself cause nothing scared him now. But what he said.

He kissed her hair and went back to looking at the river, smelling the mud, where all the life was, all the things that hadn't happened yet growing out of all the things that already were and he remembered his life…and he came to terms. Mix it all together, the good and the bad, spill it on the table and look it over, the faces, the places, God…he was grateful.

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His father had died. Last year, his aunt said. In his chair, slumped forward. For all he'd railed he went quiet in the end, nothing more to say once the anger left, and his aunt swore it left.

She'd gotten rid of Eddie's stuff. Didn't think he'd come home again. Well someone said you couldn't anyway. It's what he thought he was doing now, but he realized, home was back in the Ford with Isbe. She'd wanted to come up on the porch, and his aunt wanted to meet her, but he didn't know if the old man was here, and when he wasn't…maybe another time, he lied cause there would be no other time. It was just over.

There was some money, war bonds. In a box at the bank. She gave him a key. They'd be open in the morning. She was going to send them but he hadn't written.

He took the key and thanked her. He bore her no ill will. Was this forgiveness? Maybe so. She wasn't withholding. It was just never there…what he'd needed years ago and didn't need now.

So he got back in the car. Isbe waved to the aunt as they drove away. "Eddie…she seems nice. Should we go back?"

"No," he said. "The old man is gone."

"You were going to send me to stay with her and now you don't want me to meet her?"

"Now you don't have to," he said.

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The next day, they went to the cemetery, looked up his mother's grave. They'd walked for a couple of hours trying to find it. There had never been a stone, but the plots were marked. Well they finally made the attendant come with them, and they realized her plot wasn't marked. Eddie bought a stone, made sure her name was spelled right. "She was my mother," he said, and afterward, they stood there, where she was, down in that earth.

"She's not here anyway, Eddie," Isbe whispered, squeezing his hand.

"You don't think so?" he said.

"No. She couldn't birth someone like you and not be in heaven Eddie."

He laughed some, but there were tears too. Isbe looked at him with such sincerity.

"She don't have to be in heaven, long as she's not suffering. But if it's there like they say…."

"She's there, Eddie. I know she is."

"If she's got to go on my record, it won't get her any points."

"Eddie…trust me on this. Having you was the best thing she did in her life."

"Oh crap," he said looking up at the sky. She knew how to get to him. He had her pulled so close in to his side he knew he was holding her too tight, but she didn't scold him, she held him hard as she could.

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They walked around a little, looked at the mom and pop shops, always the places that caught his interest. St. Louis had felt dead after the war. That's what took him back to Chicago. Now that was the best thing he ever did.

He knew he wouldn't stay at Ill Bell. Not for long. He had it in him to try something. He had an idea and it had to do with sheet metal and rolling it and shaping it. He could see himself doing this, that's all he knew.

Whatever it was, he'd figure it out. His father had invested in the war. His aunt wanted him to believe it had something to do with Eddie, but he didn't need that fairy tale, he no longer cared. It wasn't much money in terms of a man's whole life, but it was a small fortune considering the old man never made any money to speak of. Five grand. He'd see.

He'd see.


	52. Chapter 52

Oh my darlings.

Hard Hearted 52

Damn Baboon celebrating his wedding at Shiney's. Eddie wore his suit, well the tie was long gone, and the jacket, the shirt pulled open at the neck, and Isbe had licked him there, licked his sweat and called him Hero, and he was laughing and getting so damn ready to go out back and take her on that table. That's if it was still there.

He had his arms around his inebriated wife and they were dancing the night away. She felt like sin and salvation against him and under his roaming hands. "You're so beautiful baby," he said, her in this dress, blue like the one they got married in, two pieces to it a top and a straight skirt that matched and shit what a figure on this dame of his. He told her she was gorgeous every day cause it was so fucking true, Isbe Masen was sex and lust and trust and love and she made him crazy and pissed him off and snapped him out of it, blew his world to smithereens, she was his whole fucking life.

She thought he was lying since she had the baby, about her being beautiful, and all he heard was about these ten extra pounds and all he could see was more tits and ass, and God Almighty…this voluptuous body, her skin, her hair, the way she filled out a sweater, a pair of jeans…this skirt. Quit complaining and be grateful he told her, throwing it back cause she said that to him all the time. And he'd say, I'm grateful, so fucking grateful and come here let me show you.

And the way she looked at him, the way she stayed with him, the worst of him, the best of him, the miserable cold-hearted fuck he could be, the preoccupied workaholic, the crabby bastard, the guy who couldn't hold his liquor because he was too tired or used up again, the guy who handed her his ashes most nights and somehow, that bedroom door got closed, and he was twenty-four again, twenty-four forever.

But their baby boy Timmy Masen, oh now come on. Looked just like him, everyone said so, and they were right. He was tow-headed, but Eddie had been tow-headed too until the red moved in, then the brown. Everything else…well Isbe said any woman on earth could have had that child and it wouldn't have made a difference he so bore his father's image.

Now that shut him up. Bore his image? Someone would have said that about him and his father he'd of jumped in the river long ago. But when she said it…he laughed a little…he was proud. That was his boy!

Isbe was helping him figure it out, just like she promised. See, there was no other woman on this earth just for him. There was no other woman.

He was kissing her ear and she was laughing. They hadn't done this, got drunk together…well they'd been model citizens for so long now, but tonight they had some babysitting so yee-haw.

All the while they'd been building a life and a family they'd been watching Jasper get smarter, graduating top of his class. He was finally making an honest woman out of Alice, and she'd waited patiently while Jasper got, "Done in the academic oven," as she put it.

Emmie and Rose, danced a few feet away, or tried to with Rose expecting their second and man she was big. Their first, Leeann, was a nice fat girl looked just like Em, her daddy the copper. Em was thrilled to have a girl, wanted all girls as he was terrified of raising himself. It never seemed to occur to Em that he could already have a girl that was just like him, and truth was, Leeann did have a larger than life way in any room her tiny self entered. But Emmett had that kind of blind parental love Eddie swore he'd never have himself. But his boy Tim was like his mother, perfect, sweet and steady. So he'd lucked out hugely. Isbe Swan had only brought him luck.

But back to Gorilla, Cadet Emmett McCarty had recently graduated to patrol officer. His ambition was to make detective by the ripe age of thirty. Eddie swore Em's internal organs were green under that uniform he was such a copper cliche. He loved that fucking gorilla.

They still lived in Isbe's house, but it wasn't a duplex anymore. It had been remodeled into one big house. It was nearly unrecognizable. Isbe was good at it…decorating, and Alice was a maniac for it, and those two had taken to making drapes for people and of course the remodel had made a perfect class project for Jasper to redesign the guts out of the place.

Eddie had paid for that house and all of its improvements, though money had been tight sometimes with his struggling business, but this year had been better and the future was rosy for the business of fabricating steel, the sky was the limit. He had six employees already. And when the Italians showed wanting him to pay protection, he'd sent them packing with a pipe in his hand. One call to Em and they hadn't come back.

He spun his wife a little and she tripped some and it looked pretty pathetic to everyone but themselves probably. When he had her back in his arms he told her if she felt queasy, to be sure and let him know so he could get them outside in time. And she''d laughed and laid her head right over his heart.

They owned this city. The monkeys. They'd done all right here in the land of the free. Eddie wondered for the millionth time what would have happened if they hadn't gone to that exact movie that exact night and time. Picking up those three broads was the best thing that ever happened to them.

And he crooned in her ear to the music, and she laughed, and he kissed her, right there…right then. His girl.

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Present day:

Eddie is the last survivor of this crowd. Alice succumbed to pneumonia in 2012. He is in his nineties, lucid, frail after a tough year in the hospital, but he's come through.

He had sixty-five years with Isbe, and four children, Tim and three daughters, nine grandchildren, six great grandchildren, one great-great.

Still in the old house, remodeled twice over the years, most recently by Tim and his wife Gloria, Eddie still lives there, has a bedroom, a living room where he watches his old heavy twenty-four inch cause he hates television except for football, the news of course, and maybe a few of those damn shows that are a total waste of time.

Tim takes him to the cemetery once a month in good weather, which in Chicago means four times a year. Tim gets the folding chair out of the trunk while Eddie makes his way over the spongy ground trying not to lose his cane while it sinks through the earth and ends up in China.

He picks over Isbe's grave, but Tim is the one to take off the old, dead flowers and put on the fresh ones Eddie buys while Tim walks beside him patiently cause it takes forever to make the right choice.

The last time though, Eddie was sitting there, staring at her name etched in that stone, then his own beside it, wondering how the time went so quickly and he got here, alone on her grave, still bewildered sometimes…bewildered she was gone and he was still breathing.

But something on the ground caught his eye. "Tim, is that there a four-leaf clover? Right there." And he pointed with his cane toward the ground about dead center on the headstone that caught a spot of the morning's sun.

Tim looked and sure enough, right there on Isbe's grave, a four leaf clover. Tim picked it carefully and Eddie concentrated so his hands wouldn't tremble and his fingers would be dexterous enough not to shred it.

"Well fuck a duck," he said, cause it was useless to pretend he wasn't a foul mouthed chimpanzee in front of his son. The girls he had fooled, least he hoped he did, but Tim had grown up in the business working under Eddie until he took over when Eddie was eighty, and he knew the deal, that his father's words were fucking colorful.

But that clover, Eddie knew she gave it to him, telling him to be patient, that she was there, in heaven with his mother, and though he'd learned long ago no one got there on their own merit, and thank God for that, it was hard to wait to be with her, to wake up in the morning and be patient through one more day.

His grandson, another Eddie, only this one insisted on being called Edward, put the clover in the plastic from a holy card Eddie had carried in his wallet from Isbe's funeral. Everything in his wallet had expired pretty much, but a man carried his billfold, so he had the card with the clover there inside, and most days he had it in his hand at some point, when he watched the news and fussed at the television and the way the world was going to hell, but mostly when he fell asleep in his lift chair and dreamed about Shiney's, and that band and a crazy, beautiful girl that told him she would do it with him but she'd promised Rose, and boy did they make good on that deal. Boy did they.

And some days, he was just there, in that Buick, the six of them, Isbe crowding close, him looking at that beauty, trying to believe she was his, wind in their hair, and all the time in the world.

And anytime his eyes slid closed, she was right there with him. In his dreams, he thought, but one day last week, she kissed his cheek. He didn't tell the family cause her and him always kept their affections to themselves. But oneness like they knew, it didn't end because someone's body gave out. Everything inside, everything they were, not only their history, but their selves…had joined.

He'd surrendered to her. Never stopped doing that. And she held back nothing…for him. All those years, thinking of the other, it made a difference then, it made a difference now. They were taking a trip together, that's all, and she'd gone on ahead, to get things ready, and soon enough he'd follow. Soon enough. It was just a short hop and he'd be with her forever, his girl, his dear, sweet girl, Isbe. He'd held her in his arms when she left this earth…and soon, she'd be holding him in hers. Until then…until then….

End.


End file.
